Any creative solutions for potty accidents by older child?

[snickelfritz]

I have a 4 1/2 year old dd and a 2 year old dd. The 2 year old is doing great with her potty training. She could actually probably even be night trained, if it wasn't for her sister.

 

So, here's the deal with the 4 1/2 year old.

 

She is bright. She also has frequent accidents. I *think* it's a matter of her not wanting to stop what she's doing to go potty. It ends up in several changes of undies and pants throughout the day. They aren't *drenching* accidents, but it still results in wet clothes. I finally just showed her where the clean ones were and she basically takes care of it herself. It is a pain when its dress-up costumes or something that really shouldn't be washed often.

 

We also tried 2 weeks straight w/ just undies at night. She was gung-ho. We limited fluids at night, went potty right before bed, etc... She was soaked each night and often didn't wake up.

 

I don't really care about the night training. Except, should I hold off even trying the 2 year old? She wakes up from naps and many nights dry and wants to go potty the first thing. I'm not sure how the older would take it.

 

Any ideas to get the older one to stop having daytime accidents?

[Pegasus]

I wouldn't hold the younger one back if she is ready. Just treat it as matter-of-factly as possible. Keep the older one in pull-ups at night for a while longer, then try undies at night again, maybe every few months, returning to pullups if she can't stay dry. I think my oldest was 5 before she stayed dry at night and some kids are much much older, especially if it runs in the family.

 

During the day, you'll need to take her to the potty on a schedule, just like when you are first training. Don't wait for her to tell you she needs to go and don't ask her. Sometimes kids will insist they don't need to potty and be wet 5 minutes later. Once she's doing great staying dry on a potty schedule, gradually increase the time between potty trips.

 

Try not to stress. Accidents at 4.5 are very common.

 

Pegasus

[Staci in MO]

You might want to be sure she's not constipated.

 

I went through over a year of this type of frustration with one of my children. After a visit to a pediatric urologist, it was discovered that she was constipated. She *seemed* to be going normally, but she was not emptying her bowels. This made it hard to empty her bladder. Once her constipation issues were solved, the wetting accidents stopped.

[Heather in the Kootenays]

I had a similar experience with my then 5 yo dd. It was painful for both of us until I figured out what the real problem. I thought she was being lazy or inattentive and I was wrong.

[Iris]

A gentleman quite experienced with children and development told me to have my special needs son (then about 5) wash out his clothes and then hand over hand dry them with an iron and then to have him put them back on (of course, when cooled). I couldn't quite handle doing this with the underwear when he soiled, but it did end up working for us. Maybe if your daughter is 'inconvenienced' she'll learn to listen to her body, if there isn't another problem like the other posters have mentioned.

 

I, too, wouldn't hold back your younger child if she's ready.

 

Good luck!

[Cera]

I'm not sure what you can do about the night time training, some kids just aren't ready at 4.

 

When our 4 year old went through a phase of not wanting to stop her activity to use the bathroom we started ending her activities. I think if you pay attention you really do know whether it is laziness or a true accident. When it was laziness she had to clean herself up and then the activity she was doing when she had the accident was over for her. It only took a week for her to realize that it was worth getting up to go to the bathroom.

[FO4UR]

My 4.5yo still has plenty of accidents too. He gets very involved in his play and just doesn't want to go. I make him. He changes himself, and puts his soiled clothes in a special mini-garbage can so I can wash them separately.

 

I finally bribed him with candy. He gets 4 M&M's (b/c he's 4yo LOL) every morning he wakes up dry (and stays dry until after breakfast), and 4 at night if he was accident free. I know he *can* - it's not a physical issue b/c since I started this he hasn't had a wet night (now that I say that, he will wet tonight:tongue_smilie:). During the day...it's obvious he just doesn't want to leave the playmobil and legos vulnerable to confiscation by sibling.:glare:

[LittleIzumi]

Dd is still doing that at 5. I'm trying bribery :lol: and if that doesn't work I'll ask the doc. She has many symptoms of overactive bladder but she could just not want to stop playing, too. Overnight she sleeps like a rock so I expect the nightwetting. Dd3 is almost totally dry at night & no daytime issues & it doesn't bother dd5.

Edited March 3, 2011 by LittleIzumi

[Momofeat]

I have a 4 1/2 year old dd and a 2 year old dd. The 2 year old is doing great with her potty training. She could actually probably even be night trained, if it wasn't for her sister.

 

So, here's the deal with the 4 1/2 year old.

 

She is bright. She also has frequent accidents. I *think* it's a matter of her not wanting to stop what she's doing to go potty. It ends up in several changes of undies and pants throughout the day. They aren't *drenching* accidents, but it still results in wet clothes. I finally just showed her where the clean ones were and she basically takes care of it herself. It is a pain when its dress-up costumes or something that really shouldn't be washed often.

 

We also tried 2 weeks straight w/ just undies at night. She was gung-ho. We limited fluids at night, went potty right before bed, etc... She was soaked each night and often didn't wake up.

 

I don't really care about the night training. Except, should I hold off even trying the 2 year old? She wakes up from naps and many nights dry and wants to go potty the first thing. I'm not sure how the older would take it.

 

Any ideas to get the older one to stop having daytime accidents?

 

Have you taken her to the doctor?

 

When my oldest dd was young, we dealt with many of the same issues. After months of frustration, we finally discovered that she had recurrent Urinary Tract Infections. She had no pain with them, and when she had fevers periodically, we (and her doctor) thought they were from viruses. Since the fevers would come and go, we simply didn't put it all together for a long time. Poor kid!

[weddell]

I don't have an answer but I'm right there with you. My 5 year old dd is like this. I'm not sure what the problem is exactly with her. I make her use the bathroom right before we leave the house. Sometimes she is fine the whole time we are gone and sometimes 30 minutes later it is an emergency and she has to GO NOW and ends up with a light (not soaking, but damp clothes) accident because she just couldn't hold it. I've had her tested multiple times for UTIs with no positives. It seems more like an overactive bladder type issue, but that is just my guess. When she has these accidents, I really don't think her bladder is completely full, rather she just has an urgent feeling.

 

I have to say that these incidents have decreased somewhat as she has gotten older so I'm thinking it is a physical development thing (although they are certainly still happening). Sometimes she has a major accident at night, but it seems to have decreased to a tiny accident which wakes her and she runs to the bathroom.

 

If anyone has suggestions, I'd love to hear them too!

[yslek]

D used to have regular potty accidents when she was younger. We thought she was doing it out of spite because she acted so awful whenever she had them. Turns out she was sensitive to corn/corn products. When we eliminated the corn (not an easy thing to do!) the accidents & awful behavior stopped. It's been several years, and she hasn't had any more issues.

 

L still has regular nighttime accidents and occasional daytime ones. During the day, I think he does get too absorbed in his play & waits until he's about to explode. I've taught him how to put his wet clothes in the diaper pail and clean himself up. I've heard that bed-wetting can last quite a while (age 8 or 9 isn't unusual, especially for boys) and that there may be a genetic component as well (dh's family has a history of bed-wetting into late childhood & sometimes even into the teens) so I figure it'll eventually pass. I haven't noticed any pattern relating to food with him.

 

Don't know if any of that is helpful. Maybe watch what she eats (or even better, keep a journal) to see if there's any possible connection to the accidents. Meanwhile, teach her to clean herself up in a very matter-of-fact, non-shaming way. It'll make your life a bit less stressful. :)

[Ottakee]

If taking her on a schedule doesnt' help greatly (or cure the problem) then I would certainly take her to the doctor. I have experience with the over active bladder with 2 of my kids. They honestly would get no warning and have an accident. Started them on meds and within a few days NO MORE ACCIDENTS.

 

We have also had one here with constipation issues. The peds. urologist said that good poopers make for good pee-ers. He said that is a huge issue with wetting accidents. A bit of Miralax and the problem was cured.