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Struggling with fear


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I'm about 6 1/2 weeks pregnant, which I'm thrilled about. Or at least, I would be if I could relax a bit. It took us almost 3 years to get pregnant (we weren't actively trying the whole time, but we were never preventing) after a very early miscarriage, and I had pretty much come to the conclusion that it wasn't going to happen without some sort of medical intervention. But I'm feeling so much anxiety. I'm 34 now--if something happens this time, what if it takes 3 years again? Or more?

 

Things seem to be going really well so far--no bleeding, lots of lovely pregnancy symptoms (blech). I think my biggest fear is an eptopic pregnancy, which is probably on my mind more since the recent threads here. Any time I feel any kind of a twinge, I worry--which I know is stupid, because it's normal for things to be "twinging" down there right now. But then the non-rational side of me argues that it's still so early that all I'd be feeling right now would probably be twinges anyway . . . Pregnancy hormones and emotions are NOT helping right now--I know I'm being irrational, but I can't seem to talk myself out of it. Ugh.

 

My first doctor's appointment is two weeks from Wednesday (I'll be about 9 weeks along). If I can't snap out of it I'm going to be a basket case by then!

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:grouphug: and congratulations! I know how hard it can be to struggle with fear at every twinge. I had three miscarriages prior to having my three and I was pretty much a basketcase during my pregnancy with DS9 (and only slightly less frantic with DD). Some things that helped me were deep breathing exercises, listening to CDs of nature sounds (doctor recommended for me at the time), meditation, and verbally telling myself rational thoughts about the normalcy of the twinges and cramps inherent in a healthy pregnancy. It also helped to distract myself with great novels and lots (truly, LOTS) of sitcoms. Honestly though, nothing beats the comfort you will get from hearing the wee one's heartbeat or seeing a perfect ultrasound.

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Will they let you come in earlier? After my m/c I came in right away for the next little one and we did blood draws to check my hormone levels. It may have been unnecessary, but I needed the reassurance. :)

 

I think it's is hard to get through the first one after a m/c, you just don't want to get too excited, but it is exciting. Embrace the moment, love the child who is there now and hope for the very best.

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First, Congratulations :). Second, I agree with a previous poster, see if you can get an earlier appointment. We had several miscarriages and the truth is I just needed my hand held more after that. When I was last pregmant (with my now 4 year old) I went to the doctor's as soon as I knew I was pregnant. I had an ultrasound at like 5 weeks and it was good to know things were progressing as they should be. If I were you, I'd call the doctor's office and tell them what you posted here. (When I was pregnant, I surely would have been crying when I did it, but I think they are probably used to that). I wish you the best. Pregnancy after a loss is just really emotional and sometimes scary.

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Congratulations! And :grouphug: I had a miscarriage and I remember in the early stages of the two pregnancies after, I always looked for the blood to start and almost expected it to be there. It is so difficult. Wishing you all the best.

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Thank you all. I'm feeling better today. I think part of it was that yesterday was a really feel-yucky day, which makes everything seem so much worse. I think I'm going to try to tough it out two more weeks unless I have a clear sign something's wrong or those twinges get more consistent or painful.

 

It helps to have it out there and not just in my head! Thanks for letting me spill. :001_smile:

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