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Prom etiquette when the boy is asked to the girl's school prom


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They need to talk it out.

 

If it were my ds....

 

I would expect the boy to rent a tux, corsage if that is still done, and provide the meal.

 

Since it is the girl's prom, I would expect her to buy the tickets and her own dress.

 

Transportation would be one of them driving or a parent driving. If they wanted a rental, maybe a split would be fair.

 

 

BUT, if they came up with a compromise that seemed reasonably fair, I would leave it to them. If one family comes from vastly different financial circumstances, and the parents are willing to contribute....that would be nice, but not necessary.

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They need to talk it out.

 

If it were my ds....

 

I would expect the boy to rent a tux, corsage if that is still done, and provide the meal.

 

Since it is the girl's prom, I would expect her to buy the tickets and her own dress.

 

Transportation would be one of them driving or a parent driving. If they wanted a rental, maybe a split would be fair.

 

 

BUT, if they came up with a compromise that seemed reasonably fair, I would leave it to them. If one family comes from vastly different financial circumstances, and the parents are willing to contribute....that would be nice, but not necessary.

 

Okay, so he pays for dinner. Sounds good. She still has to buy a dress & then we will all go out & find a tux to rent so they match.

 

I think she will drive. Her parents just bought a new car. Hopefully they can take that. Thanks.

 

It is her school so I would think that she would pay for tickets, her dress, and they could split photos.

 

They still do corsages don't they???

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I went to an all- girls high school. the rules waaay back then may be different than today.

 

I paid for tickets which included dinner, my dress, and arranged transportation. My older brother drove and wore dress slacks, white shirt and black limo-driver-type hat.

 

i expected the guy to rent tux, get corsage. And because each mother wanted photos, his mom drove him to our house.

 

we split the diner meal after the prom.

 

robin in nj

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I went to an all- girls high school. the rules waaay back then may be different than today.

 

I paid for tickets which included dinner, my dress, and arranged transportation. My older brother drove and wore dress slacks, white shirt and black limo-driver-type hat.

 

i expected the guy to rent tux, get corsage. And because each mother wanted photos, his mom drove him to our house.

 

we split the diner meal after the prom.

 

robin in nj

 

That sounds so cute. This is our oldest, maybe we'll have him chauffeur for the youngers some day. :)

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Dd's prom is complicated. She's the upper class so could ask her younger (soph) friend. But, she doesn't even go to the school! However, the school was gracious and said she could. They ordered flowers together and his mom wanted to pay for them. Dd paid for the tickets but they're splitting them. I'm not sure what they're doing about dinner. She's driving--he's not old enough to have a another teen in the car. Her car is cooler, anyway... :D

 

How expensive are prom tickets nowadays? I think it's fine if the girl drives myself, but the boy can't open the door for her then. I don't think her parents would let him drive their new car.

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I think alot of that type of stuff will need to be worked out between the two of them.

He'd get his own tux, for sure, and her corsage.

She'd get her own dress, and pay for the tickets because it's her school, her invite to him (I've seen tickets ranging from $25-50 per person).

 

Transportation should be on her to arrange, since again it's her invite. Often groups of kids will go in together and rent a limo. As far as who pays, that's where they'd need to talk. Technically she should pay, but it would be fine too if they split it, especially if they end up renting something.

 

Dinner...in today's society, it's fine if she pays, since it was her invite. I think I would tell MY son to pay though, just cuz it seems like the right thing to do. Even if they are just going as friends.

 

Don't forget to ask if they are going to the after-prom party. There's a ticket fee for that too. If she pays for the prom tickets, it'd be nice if he pays for the after-prom party. This is usally MORE fun than the prom. It's usually sponsored by parents as a way to keep the kids away from the trouble that happens after prom hours. They'll have games, food, contests, etc. Lots of great prizes!

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I think alot of that type of stuff will need to be worked out between the two of them.

He'd get his own tux, for sure, and her corsage.

She'd get her own dress, and pay for the tickets because it's her school, her invite to him (I've seen tickets ranging from $25-50 per person).

 

Transportation should be on her to arrange, since again it's her invite. Often groups of kids will go in together and rent a limo. As far as who pays, that's where they'd need to talk. Technically she should pay, but it would be fine too if they split it, especially if they end up renting something.

 

Dinner...in today's society, it's fine if she pays, since it was her invite. I think I would tell MY son to pay though, just cuz it seems like the right thing to do. Even if they are just going as friends.

 

Don't forget to ask if they are going to the after-prom party. There's a ticket fee for that too. If she pays for the prom tickets, it'd be nice if he pays for the after-prom party. This is usally MORE fun than the prom. It's usually sponsored by parents as a way to keep the kids away from the trouble that happens after prom hours. They'll have games, food, contests, etc. Lots of great prizes!

 

Yes, I will recommend he pay for dinner. I've never heard of an after-prom party. I'll have to inquire about it. Thanks.

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In my area proms are in the $250 range. Seriously. That usually includes dinner, and some times an after-prom. Girl buys dress and shoes. Guy buys/rents tux. (Several friends have found buying is actually very close to renting, especially if more proms are in the young man (or his brothers') future. We lucked out at the thrift - twice! - and got them for $10.) Parents usually drive a group of kids.

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In my area proms are in the $250 range. Seriously. That usually includes dinner, and some times an after-prom. Girl buys dress and shoes. Guy buys/rents tux. (Several friends have found buying is actually very close to renting, especially if more proms are in the young man (or his brothers') future. We lucked out at the thrift - twice! - and got them for $10.) Parents usually drive a group of kids.

 

Oh my! I don't think it will be that much. She lives in a rather poor town, more country like.

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If it's a "school gym" type of prom, you're probably right. I think our local ones are crazy-over-the-top, frankly.

 

No, it's not in the gym. I do think they got a deal at the place they rented. I really hope the tickets aren't too expensive. Lucky this girl is an only child.

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I forgot to add another expense: Army boots! Yes, my dd is planning on wearing ACU approved boots with her fancy dress, part of a support-the-troops thing. Actually, will end up being cheaper than new heels and she'll be able to wear them again... Her big sis bought them for her.

 

Interesting. I know his date is planning on joining the Navy at some point.

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Prom tickets vary widely. Some schools do an all-in-one dinner/banquet and dance sort of thing, where tickets are pricier. Some schools, the kids do dinner on their own, then the dance tickets are like $10-20.

 

If it were my son, I'd still have him pay for dinner, and she could get the tickets. If it's an all-in-one sort of thing, they might have to revisit that.

 

I hope he has a great time!! :)

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Prom tickets vary widely. Some schools do an all-in-one dinner/banquet and dance sort of thing, where tickets are pricier. Some schools, the kids do dinner on their own, then the dance tickets are like $10-20.

 

If it were my son, I'd still have him pay for dinner, and she could get the tickets. If it's an all-in-one sort of thing, they might have to revisit that.

 

I hope he has a great time!! :)

 

Yes, she is insisting on pay for the tickets. We don't know how much they cost. I wrote a list of questions for ds to ask her today so I'm hoping to find out more soon.

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Yes, she is insisting on pay for the tickets. We don't know how much they cost. I wrote a list of questions for ds to ask her today so I'm hoping to find out more soon.

 

There is likely a prom link on the school website. You can see what the ticket prices are there.

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Maybe it is different if there is a bit of a romantic interest vs. "just friends?" If she's paying for her dress and the tickets, I think he should pay for his tux, of course (and man, I wish DH had just bought a tux; we went to four proms in four years, his junior and senior and then my junior and senior -- that's a lot of tux rentals!), and it would be nice if he offered to pay for dinner, if he can. Technically, I suppose she's asking him out, and if they're really just friends, she probably should offer to pay for dinner, or they should split it, but I also think it would be really sweet if he offered to pay for dinner (or if he cooks, maybe he could invite her over for dinner before the prom). But they should talk together; she might have some ideas in mind.

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then we will all go out & find a tux to rent so they match.

 

I would have him get the tuxed rented soon. You can also add the vest color later. I used to work in a tuxedo rental place and on busy prom/wedding weekends the more popular styles were often unavailable because they only have so many in that size. Weddings take priority.

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