"how do babies get out?"

[Soror]

Out of the vagina. I believe it is important that kids know what their parts are called(I've heard that mentioned several times as well from child advocates that it helps when children know proper terms).

 

We are modest by modern standards, although not Amish or such (so modest is relative) and we are conservative. I don't feel the need to answer very personal questions or every question from my kids, but it is just basic information. We have rabbits and they have seen them breed and have heard the basics that the boy bunny puts something into the girl bunny and it grows into a baby. They know that boys and girls have different parts, that is easily observable. We also teach that certain things are to be talked about in private though and not with just anybody or in any situation.

[Walking-Iris]

A zipper on mom's tummy? Seriously?? I am not a fan of lying to kids..sorry.

 

 

exactly--especially since there isn't a zipper on mommy's tummy and a 5 year old knows that!

 

Usually when kids ask these questions they are looking for common sense simple explanations.

 

There's a book called Where Do Babies Come From? that's very simple for the younger crowd---3-6. It has full color pictures of a duckling hatching from the egg, rabbits and kittens giving birth and pictures of a human mother with colored diagrams over her belly showing the growth of a fetus.

 

It uses words such as sperm and eggs---the father duck has sperm and "gives" it to the mother duck who "keeps" it in her eggs. Mammals such as rabbits, cats, and humans also have eggs but the mothers keep them inside unlike the birds, but the father mammals still "give" their sperm to the mothers. It then says that babies then grow inside of the egg or the mammals womb.

 

There's also a brief description of pollen and seeds.

 

As far as the baby being born, the full color pictures of the kittens and rabbits in the act of giving birth are usually enough to illustrate that human mother's have the same opening in their vagina that is used during birth.

 

Watching Milo and Otis is always very educational too if you don't have access to real pets or farm animals.

 

As far a C-sections. If that was a part of that particular child's birth story or a sibling's birth story and that was specifically what they were asking, why not simply say that sometimes it can be difficult to have a baby in the normal way (after they have learned that much) and so doctors will sometimes help the mother and baby by removing the baby from the womb for the mother instead of the baby coming through the opening in the vagina. I wouldn't really talk about csections otherwise or go into too much detail at that age.

 

Honestly it won't kill our kids to hear these terms in no nonsense common sense ways. And I would consider that a 5 year old answer to a 5 year old question.

[JeneralMom]

My kids all know all the parts and proper names for both sexes so when they asked I just told them the truth very matter-of-factly.

[stripe]

A zipper on mom's tummy? Seriously?? I am not a fan of lying to kids..sorry.

I think it might be more complicated for mothers who had a c-section, in which case I think emphasizing both methods is important. For those who haven't had c-sections, vaginal birth is even more prominent, but I think it's still worth a mention.

 

However, I would never use the term "zipper" -- I would explain that a doctor can perform an operation through the tummy/abdomen/pick your term. My kids like(d) to rub my tummy especially when I was pregnant, so they would ask more questions with that one than with the truth. Besides, wouldn't they want to open and close the zipper to peek at the baby? Or wonder where their own zipper was?

 

I don't think one needs to lie to avoid getting extremely detailed. There is a simple truth. Saying that mothers have a special part of their bodies from which babies are born, is accurate and simple. Sometimes answering the question creates a lot less work than spinning a yarn. My kids basically said, "Oh," and moved on to other things after I told them that. They really did not want a lesson in the cervix, uterus, whatever, although my husband once heard my son telling a neighbor boy something about a uterus.

[BatmansWife]

I have the book The Miracle of Life by Stephanie Jeffs. I really like it.

 

A friend's son (3 years old) asked me when I was pregnant with my second if the baby was going to come out of my ankle:001_huh: I told him he needed to ask his mother!

 

:smilielol5:

 

I usually start with a discussion of DNA (can you say "de-oxy-ribo-nucleic acid?"). Then, if the discussion is not sufficiently detailed enough to lose him, I move into a discussion of gametes and zygotes, with possible rabbit-holes into genetics and the experiments of Friar Mendel.

 

Sooner or later I exceed the limits of his attention span, and—there—I've successfully kicked the can down the road for another day :D

 

Then there is always the back-up plan: "Go ask your Mother" :tongue_smilie:

 

Bill

 

:lol:

[ktgrok]

Because in my case that's not true... and the thought that Mama would have to get cut open to get a baby out might be overly traumatic.

 

In those cases, and I had a c-section with my first, so I get that, than you say that sometimes babies come out of their mother's vagina, but sometimes the doctor has to help and he takes the baby out a new hole that he makes, and he uses special medicine so it doesn't hurt at all.

 

My son knew early on that he came out of a hole in my tummy that the doctor made, because I needed help getting him out. (I made sure to emphasize that I needed help, not him, as I didn't want him to carry blame somehow for my surgery). He wasn't upset by any of it. Certainly not traumatized.

 

In fact, the only "body part" conversation that ever seemed to traumatize him was when he learned what circumcision was, from a bible passage. He is intact and found the concept very very traumatic. Oops. Should have waited on that.

[ktgrok]

Some interesting answers.

 

For a 5 year old; I'd simply say a zipper on mommy's tummy. More info can come later. I don't think for a 5 yo we have to break out all the charts, health books, and dictionary to answer a 5 yo question.

 

5 yo. questions gets a 5 yo answer.

 

But that isn't simplifying, that is lying.

[twoxcell]

But that isn't simplifying, that is lying.

:iagree:My 2 year old would see right through that.;)

[the4Rs]

Just had this talk with my kids. I believe in sharing matter of factly with them.

 

I just said that there is an opening down where mommy's go potty that is special for babies to come out. I said that when it is time for the baby to be born it comes down out of the womb and the muscles push it out and that special opening stretches like a rubberband to allow the baby to come out and then shrinks back afterward.

 

They were fascinated. We talked more about what it was like when I delivered them to which my daughter was like over a day of labor?!?!?! I am never having kids. lol I said, that's fine...you can just adopt.

 

It is way less traumatic to make it so secretive and "weird." I find my kids respond based on how I present the info to them. They asked very sound questions that were not inappropriate and didn't think it was gross.

[Tanikit]

My DD watched Dumbo around the time that she was asking where babies come from and then I had to explain that storks didn't bring babies but that it looked cute on a film and then we had to look up on the internet and educate myself and her as to why a stork is a symbol of childbirth.

[nmoira]

I see no reason to avoid the topic (and especially not to lie), but I chose to address the issue when questioned, and only answer what was asked. I didn't see the need to get a book as my kids ask good questions. They've known the basics for ages, but about a year ago the girls started asking me to "tell them again" so they could run away "eeeeewwwing" and giggling. :D It's been months now since they asked. It's all good.

 

There's an unambiguous display at our local science museum showing the stages of a vaginal birth and a booklet beside it with illustrations of a c-section. My youngest is fascinated by these and the preserved fetuses.

[mommyto2]

I usually start with a discussion of DNA (can you say "de-oxy-ribo-nucleic acid?"). Then, if the discussion is not sufficiently detailed enough to lose him, I move into a discussion of gametes and zygotes, with possible rabbit-holes into genetics and the experiments of Friar Mendel.

 

Sooner or later I exceed the limits of his attention span, and—there—I've successfully kicked the can down the road for another day :D

 

Then there is always the back-up plan: "Go ask your Mother" :tongue_smilie:

 

Bill

 

That is awesome, and hilarious! SOOOOOO my husband.

[Miss Innocent]

We're pretty conservative too - modest clothing, I won't wear shirts that expose cleavage, no short skirts, etc...

 

When it comes to knowing basic anatomy, I thought it through and realized that it makes sense for some of these things to be introduced before children develop their natural modesty/awkwardness about those topics. The average 3-4 year old is not phased by seeing their mom or dad naked getting out of the shower, or barging into the bathroom when they're using the potty. They don't feel shame about running around naked after a bath. Contrast that with an 8-10 year old who has more developed modesty - they're not going to see the opposite sex parent naked regularly (in most American homes), they're not going to parade around naked in front of everyone, and they're going to laugh and feel awkward if they see photos in a book of naked body parts.

 

That is why it was easier to teach my children about childbirth when they were under 6 - they weren't distracted by the nudity b/c it was no different than seeing Mommy get out of the shower or seeing Mommy's breast nursing a baby. Instead, they just focused on the mechanics of birth - how the baby grew inside, how it was pushed out, how happy the family was to see the baby, how the baby learned to nurse, etc...

 

They got excited to see if the baby was a boy or girl with the in-utero pictures and didn't think it was awkward/weird/silly to point out the p*nis or v*lva b/c they're in the stage of naming gender, not feeling private about it. (They did think it was funny that the baby was naked inside the mommy 'swimming in a pool and splashing' b/c as kids they can relate to being naked in a bath/pool and splashing). If they're used to seeing a baby's diaper changed then seeing a newborn baby naked isn't weird/strange.

 

There were no sexual connotations for them, it was much more family-centered topic for them. I also found it helpful to find a few tasteful birth videos on youtube for them to see in real time what birth looked like - they're generally very short and just show the end of the pushing stage with the excitement of the family afterward. Often you can't see much except a baby's head coming out (especially if it was a waterbirth and the camera is shooting from above - private parts of the mother aren't visible).

 

I consider educating about normal birth to be important and something kids should know from a young age b/c it's how we all get here, and the nearer kids are to their own and siblings time of birth the more natural and easy a topic it is to discuss.

 

Thank you Sevilla! I am also pretty conservative (in the sense of how I dress and so on) and see no problem with discussing this with my son. He knows that dad's sperm and mum's egg come together to make a baby and that a baby is usually born from the mummy's vagina (which he pronounced 'china' when he first learnt it :D) but is sometimes born by caesarean section.

 

He hasn't yet asked about how the sperm and egg get together, but I would prefer him to ask and be told while he is still young enough not to be embarrassed and still just sees it as a natural part of life.

 

Emma x

[Hunter]

I usually start with a discussion of DNA (can you say "de-oxy-ribo-nucleic acid?"). Then, if the discussion is not sufficiently detailed enough to lose him, I move into a discussion of gametes and zygotes, with possible rabbit-holes into genetics and the experiments of Friar Mendel.

 

Sooner or later I exceed the limits of his attention span, and—there—I've successfully kicked the can down the road for another day :D

 

Then there is always the back-up plan: "Go ask your Mother" :tongue_smilie:

 

Bill

 

I love this! I sometimes forget to use this technique in a variety of situations.

 

How the baby got OUT is a different conversation than how the baby got IN. It's the IN part, that I regret answering so very young. I think his response was, "I was afraid you were going to say that!" so...it probably didn't matter what I said or didn't say.