love2read Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 when the relationship really warrants a card (close friends who moved and contact lost.) I have their email and feel like it's awkward to ask for their address so that I can send them a card (e.g,. sorry about your dad blah blah blah send me your address so I can send the card lol). I feel like I have to apologize about emailing instead of sending a card because these people are on the proper side. Wording suggestions most welcome! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bookfiend Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 No, definitely search out their address on-line or through a mutual acquaintance and then send a card. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrookValley. Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 Do you know anyone you can contact who might have their mailing address? Then you could still mail them a card, but you wouldn't have to ask for their address (I wouldn't email and ask for their address, either). On the other hand, if it were me, I wouldn't mind getting an email and not a card from a formerly close friend. I think the fact that you are thinking about them and wanted to express your condolences outweighs the informality of email. "I don't have your mailing address, but I wanted to let you know we are thinking about you..." I wouldn't apologize, I think a few words of explanation are enough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SunD Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 I would email them if the alternative was just ignoring the news of his death. I guess you don't have their phone number. Something like Dear old friends, yesterday I heard the sad news of your dad's passing. I am so sorry for your loss. (Maybe something about wishing you were still in touch.) I also wanted to ask for your current address, so I can send you a token of remembrance. Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you. Love, love2read. Then send them a lovely plant and a nice card. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 Someone sent me a sympathy card care of the funeral home. I think if the obituary lists a funeral home or church you could send a card there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AHASRADA Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 All good suggestions. If you know which state they moved to, you could look them up on whitepages.com. I did this for a lot of people when I sent out baby announcements. It works fairly often. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 No, definitely search out their address on-line or through a mutual acquaintance and then send a card. :iagree: You definitely need to send a paper card for condolences. That's serious stuff! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 Most places have a place for an online guest book for obituaries. Sometimes it's through the funeral home. I've done that before for people whom I've lost touch with, the usually have a way to reply privately to notes left. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 I would send condolences through email since it's the only contact you have. You could say you wanted to send a card but realized you didn't have her address and could she please send it so you could add it to your address book. That's plain, simple, honest, and nothing to be embarrassed about. I really don't see anything wrong with that. Obviously a card would be more preferable but an email is better than nothing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trilliums Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 When my MIL passed away, DH received a few condolences through email. It did not once cross my mind that this was inappropriate. In fact, DH was touched to hear from some old acquaintances. Perhaps it is not in any official etiquette books, but I hadn't even considered it inappropriate until reading this thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyndie Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 I would email them if the alternative was just ignoring the news of his death. I guess you don't have their phone number. Something like Dear old friends, yesterday I heard the sad news of your dad's passing. I am so sorry for your loss. (Maybe something about wishing you were still in touch.) I also wanted to ask for your current address, so I can send you a token of remembrance. Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you. Love, love2read. Then send them a lovely plant and a nice card. This is exactly the wording we received from a friend we'd lost touch with. DH's dad passed last month and somehow this friend found out and sent the email. When my MIL passed away, DH received a few condolences through email. It did not once cross my mind that this was inappropriate. In fact, DH was touched to hear from some old acquaintances. Perhaps it is not in any official etiquette books, but I hadn't even considered it inappropriate until reading this thread. ITA. DH was just touched people reached out to him, he didn't care about the medium used. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 Never Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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