choirfarm Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 (edited) Inm Edited February 1, 2012 by choirfarm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 Well, I was no where even close to perfect. When my kid acts like a butt head, I call them on their behavior...not how mine was. No more mrs. Goody two shoes.....stick to the facts. Throwing textbooks at walls is a lack of control, and has a consequence....fix the wall...then tell me why, then we work on fixing the problem. No one in this family gets what they want by intimidation....be nice, be respectful, or I won't FEEL like working with you. If my kid behaves poorly, I tell them bluntly, " I do not deal with terrorists.". " come back and talk like a human being to me...then I will consider." Honestly, your stories of perfection would have pissed me off as a kid.....I would save those stories, and stick to the fact or situation going on. Faithe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
choirfarm Posted February 1, 2012 Author Share Posted February 1, 2012 (edited) nm Edited February 1, 2012 by choirfarm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 Why did you take the iPod?? Not saying it was wrong...just wondering what that has to do with geometry and broken walls. I probably would have looked dumbfounded as well...and went to get the spackle bucket and putty knife....told him to fix the hole, and try to find the words to TELL me about his issue with the geometry book. I might have rolled my eyes or said something not very nice.....lol. Sounds like you handled it well...you didn't hit him with the geometry book:D Math can bring out the worst in us, can't it? Don't be so hard on yourself...your son sounds completely normal.....he is finding out he is probably bigger than he realizes, and is at an age where he is learning to control his impulses....in a real impulsey time of life. He seemed shocked at his good throw....:001_huh: Faithe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nono Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 "yes, I know you didn't mean to. You will have to fix the wall." I took the IPOd without saying a word. (though I wanted to scream... he makes me SO mad...) You really have to think. Count to ten.. something.. and i left.. Is that what I should have done???????? Why didn't you yell? It's your house, and he damaged it! And, then you could have circled back later with a story of your imperfectionism....if that's how you want to parent. But I think Faithe is on-target. Just stick to the facts, and don't compare your child to your memories of yourself or others. I'd just focus on him. BTW, I'm with middle child. I don't want to hear how perfect you are either. ;) P.S. Little kids, older teens/20s nieces and nephews. I think at some point in homeschooling, a math book hits a wall. Sometimes, it's the Mom or Dad throwing. Just sayin'. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
choirfarm Posted February 1, 2012 Author Share Posted February 1, 2012 (edited) nm Edited February 1, 2012 by choirfarm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 Do not beat yourself up. He is a kid.....kids can act, oh, I don't know, immature?????? Get on the same page with your husband, sit the boy down and give him boundaries and consequences and stick to them. That is THE BEST you can do. I cannot control how someone else acts, I can only control myself. Dawn But if I were a perfect parent..then he wouldnt do this. so .. I've ried aot hard.. ive tried so hard.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 But if I were a perfect parent..then he wouldnt do this. so .. I've ried aot hard.. ive tried so hard.. :D Yep, Don't we all wish???LOL Faithe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ma23peas Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 (edited) My housekeeping skills need help, although my boys think my standards are too high. There is a joke ( well sort of in the house.). If the boys are supposed to clean out the car, they do. Then I go behind them and clean a little better, then dh goes and gets it REALLY clean by taking out seats, getting out toothbrushes, etc. ................ Does your family have fun? Is it easy for your husband to be lighthearted and let it roll off? I am seeing an underlying issue...your husband and you both know how to be 'good'...he keeps things uber tidy, you are not content with how they do things...these things point to some control issues that could build up frustration in a child, especially a boy. But do both of you take time to do the fun, let it roll kind of days with your sons? We will cancel school and go to a dollar movie or if it is a gorgeous day we call call a park day and picnic with our dogs...we cut up and have goofy dance challenges... I am not saying be who you are not, but make an effort to lighten up, life is not about getting the best grade, doing everything quietly and perfectly...it is ine if he wants to keep all his toys in working order but embrace the kids who do not and may enjoy smashing then every now and then...think on your words... In a day, are more of your words corrections, orders, reminders..or are more of your words taking an interest, sharing, praising? Try to go three whole days where the praises/sharing outweigh the instruction/directives...sometimes it is we who need the attitude adjustment not the kids. Most the time they are responding to something we have control over, they just do not know how to express it....read them your post and all the responses...see where they nod a lot and you might get a better gauge. Oh! And I am the middle child who def had the perfect syndrome...I just never liked the drama that came from my older and younger sibling...grades came easy, made one B in six years, top of my class...but I go to bed at 1am if I like, I plan crazy vacations bc I can...England and the Mediterranean were cheaper than going to Disneyworld! Fun is driving in England with your three kids and dh freaking out at the five lane roundabouts! So what if you get stuck going around it 10x! We still laugh about that! I make a CD every vacation of songs we like...we play it during all our vacations...when 'dancing Queen' by Abba comes on it reminds them of our crazy tour guide's driving on the Amalfi Coast! Families need FUN and breaks from the everyday routine... Edited February 1, 2012 by ma23peas Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 I can see this post must be a sore spot for the OP. Something about a hole in the wall? My boys were rough housing in their room and sort of made a BIG dent in the drywall. They told their dad right away but not me. I was so mad. Dh shrugged it off and said we'd fix it when they moved out. I want to get a big Justin Bieber poster to hide the hole. Serve those boys right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 I can see this post must be a sore spot for the OP. Something about a hole in the wall? My boys were rough housing in their room and sort of made a BIG dent in the drywall. They told their dad right away but not me. I was so mad. Dh shrugged it off and said we'd fix it when they moved out. I want to get a big Justin Bieber poster to hide the hole. Serve those boys right. :lol::lol::lol:You should TOTALLY do that. I really think you should!!! There would be no more holes in the walls.:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ereks mom Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 I can see this post must be a sore spot for the OP. Something about a hole in the wall? My boys were rough housing in their room and sort of made a BIG dent in the drywall. They told their dad right away but not me. I was so mad. Dh shrugged it off and said we'd fix it when they moved out. I want to get a big Justin Bieber poster to hide the hole. Serve those boys right. :lol: Remudamom, you make me laugh when I need it most. I think you're one of my favorite people! :D To the OP: :grouphug: I didn't read your posts before you edited them, but from the quotes in other people's posts, I can tell that you need a hug. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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