Cleaning question and thanks

[super grover]

So what can a 5 almost (3 weeks and counting) 6 year old do in the way of clean-up? DS dumped on purpose a box containing 400 to 500 lego pieces (small). I say he can clean it up but I am locked in a 1.5 hour battle right now! I even read Winnie-the-pooh for 30 minutes to make it pleasent, but he would just sit and sniffle and then comment how the book isn't like the movie. AND his brother and I were cleaning up other parts of the playroom at the same time before story time.

 

Which leads me to say thanks to y'all because it is calming coming to the board and just even typing without getting any response, and I really enjoy sharing your lifes and adventures in homeschooling... crazy as they may seem : )

[Sue G in PA]

I have similar struggles w/ my ds5 and ds7. Whining, complaining, "I can't do it!", total meltdowns, bad attitudes, etc. all arise when I ask them to clean anything. Well, I wish I had some advice for you. But, alas, I'm just in the same boat. I did come across a website today about Grace Based Parenting. My response yesterday to the lego situation would have been yelling, punishing, threatening, etc. Today I'm not sure. I think I would simply get down on the floor and start helping, whether or not ds helped or not. Then, I would take the legos and put them all in a closet or in my room. Well, unless it was some other child's toy and then we have a problem. :) This evening, my ds7 accidentally dropped some Cheerios on the floor while getting cereal. I asked him very nicely to please get the broom and sweep them up. As I was saying that...he purposefully stepped on the Cheerios and crushed them! :001_huh: I asked him to sweep them up...again...this time through clenched teeth. No response. So, ds7 earned himself a trip to his room. While there, he threatened to "destroy the house". So, he then earned himself a seat next to me until he calmed down. Can't have him destroying the house! (This child has Asperger's, btw). Anyway, I feel your pain. I was reminded by reading this website today that our job is to train our children. I've not been doing a very good job of that recently.

[Plucky]

I love your name! Grover was my favorite, especially super grover. You are the bomb!

[Night Elf]

I would clean it up with him. I might say, "I wonder how fast we can pick these up if we scoop them up with our hands like a bulldozer?" Or, "I'll pick up the reds while you pick up the blues." Or make it more fun like using a plastic cup or bowl to scoop them up.

 

For some children, a job like that is just overwhelming. IMHO, It's good role modeling to help him with an overwhelming task rather than to leave him to do it alone.

[Brindee]

I would clean it up with him. I might say, "I wonder how fast we can pick these up if we scoop them up with our hands like a bulldozer?" Or, "I'll pick up the reds while you pick up the blues." Or make it more fun like using a plastic cup or bowl to scoop them up.

 

For some children, a job like that is just overwhelming. IMHO, It's good role modeling to help him with an overwhelming task rather than to leave him to do it alone.

:iagree: I would do that, then put them away for awhile.

[Brenda in FL]

He can clean it up. And since you said he did it on purpose and now you are battling him to clean it up - you really have a disobedience issue to work with rather than "it's at the end of the day clean up time let's work together to get the toys picked up" situation.

 

How I handle these situations is set a timer - if the legos haven't been picked up then issue a meaningful consequence to the child, then I pick up the legos and they are taken away for a specified period of time.

 

The consequence (in my home - a spanking) is because the child has been disobedient. I pick up the toys because the child has received his punishment, thereby ending his reign of disobedience (Don't we let that go just too long? Why do we let our children have prolonged control of these situations? I'm LOL because I've done it all too often.And it really makes sense to nip it in the bud when it is obvious the child isn't going to obey.)

 

Boy, I hope that didn't seem to harsh. But after 10 years - I still fall into the trap of doing battle rather than asserting my authority as a parent and doing something good for them. And the Lego collection gets larger and even though they get older they still hate putting them away!!

[Mom0012]

I would clean it up with him. I might say, "I wonder how fast we can pick these up if we scoop them up with our hands like a bulldozer?" Or, "I'll pick up the reds while you pick up the blues." Or make it more fun like using a plastic cup or bowl to scoop them up.

 

For some children, a job like that is just overwhelming. IMHO, It's good role modeling to help him with an overwhelming task rather than to leave him to do it alone.

 

I totally agree with this for a 4, almost 5 year old. My daughter is extremely compliant and sweet, but she has only recently been able to take on certain clean up jobs on her own without feeling completely overwhelmed. If I help her, she is still doing what I asked and contributing, but it doesn't take 3 hours.

 

Lisa

[lynn]

So what can a 5 almost (3 weeks and counting) 6 year old do in the way of clean-up? DS dumped on purpose a box containing 400 to 500 lego pieces (small). I say he can clean it up but I am locked in a 1.5 hour battle right now! I even read Winnie-the-pooh for 30 minutes to make it pleasent, but he would just sit and sniffle and then comment how the book isn't like the movie. AND his brother and I were cleaning up other parts of the playroom at the same time before story time.

 

Which leads me to say thanks to y'all because it is calming coming to the board and just even typing without getting any response, and I really enjoy sharing your lifes and adventures in homeschooling... crazy as they may seem : )

 

I so understand this. One of the tricks I use in this case because it is an overwhelming task that must be done. turn it into a "game" but let ds know since you dumped this out you must clean it up. Let's see how many you can pick up in 2 minutes "Wow, that's good" Let's try for 30seconds etc. Or get out the dust pan to scoop them up. Sometimes, not everyone will agree, I'll say "I'll pick up 3 handfuls to get you started". We all have those crazy mothering moments.