Ever felt like a complete utter failure (vent)

[jamajo]

I've made a few posts in the last week or so about the communication breakdown between my DD & I in Algebra. If you got something yesterday why don't you get it today?

 

My husband called me into his office b/c he could hear the frustration in my voice and told me to calm down. I just can't do it! I can't explain something (the same thing) day after day so I handed her the Keys To Algebra booklets and told her to work through each booklet starting from the beginning on her own and I'll look at each booklet when she's finished.

 

She had a few tears well up in her eyes b/c she knows I'm frustrated. I where my emotions on my sleeve. I just didn't know what else to do at that point. I told her don't be upset, I just obviously can't teach her this material. Let's just be finished today.

 

I know I'm human but I'm the parent and I should be able to handle myself better than this. It's just hard to be that type of brain that can read something, work through it in my head and get it but not be able to hand that to your child. I want her to get it and I just don't know how else to give it to her. Her processing is so different but she is a hard worker and wants to get it. I know she's disappointed b/c she thinks I am disappointed.

[Matryoshka]

:grouphug: For two of my dds, I can teach them math fine. For the third, we're like oil and water since 6th grade. I handed her over to dh. It is much better now.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

I've made a few posts in the last week or so about the communication breakdown between my DD & I in Algebra. If you got something yesterday why don't you get it today?

 

My husband called me into his office b/c he could hear the frustration in my voice and told me to calm down. I just can't do it! I can't explain something (the same thing) day after day so I handed her the Keys To Algebra booklets and told her to work through each booklet starting from the beginning on her own and I'll look at each booklet when she's finished.

 

She had a few tears well up in her eyes b/c she knows I'm frustrated. I where my emotions on my sleeve. I just didn't know what else to do at that point. I told her don't be upset, I just obviously can't teach her this material. Let's just be finished today.

 

I know I'm human but I'm the parent and I should be able to handle myself better than this. It's just hard to be that type of brain that can read something, work through it in my head and get it but not be able to hand that to your child. I want her to get it and I just don't know how else to give it to her. Her processing is so different but she is a hard worker and wants to get it. I know she's disappointed b/c she thinks I am disappointed.

 

:grouphug:

 

FWIW, I can understand the need to take a step back. This came up last weekend among a bunch of parents I was with. One family called it "not taking the bait" another had likened it to the teen wanting to get you to dance with them (not in a good way) and had the phrase "don't get on the dancefloor". In other words, they just chose not to engage in the conflict.

 

Sometimes there is frustration and hurt feelings that color everything. Days when you could say the sky was blue and be contradicted (or when the teen would announce the sky was blue and we as the adult want to list all the times when it's really black or reddish).

 

If you go to something more self taught like the Keys to books, I would suggest spot checking every few pages, rather than at the end of the book. If you wait to the end of the book to note problems, it may underline a belief that she's "not a math person".

[Amy in TX]

Have you considered another teacher, either dvd or online? With either you or dh as the backup? In any case, I would try to make it clear to her that you are frustrated with your inability to communicate the material in a way that works for her, NOT with her inability to understand it. You don't want her deciding that she is "stupid" or "will never get math."

 

When my dd was this age, we switched to Jann in TX's online classes, because she & I just could not work together on math!

[jamajo]

Have you considered another teacher, either dvd or online? With either you or dh as the backup? In any case, I would try to make it clear to her that you are frustrated with your inability to communicate the material in a way that works for her, NOT with her inability to understand it. You don't want her deciding that she is "stupid" or "will never get math."

 

When my dd was this age, we switched to Jann in TX's online classes, because she & I just could not work together on math!

 

 

I have thought of this but I'm really trying to stick to my homeschool budget especially with the convention season coming and needing to purchase curriculum for next year. There are options in my area but I know this stuff and want to give it some time for her to get. I like to only outsource stuff I can't do at home - I guess I should say don't

WANT to do at home (outside sports, science, Art, Music).

 

If we really can't get out of graphing linear equations by the Spring I need to rethink my strategy.:tongue_smilie:

[kiana]

I have thought of this but I'm really trying to stick to my homeschool budget especially with the convention season coming and needing to purchase curriculum for next year. There are options in my area but I know this stuff and want to give it some time for her to get. I like to only outsource stuff I can't do at home - I guess I should say don't

WANT to do at home (outside sports, science, Art, Music).

 

If we really can't get out of graphing linear equations by the Spring I need to rethink my strategy.:tongue_smilie:

 

Having looked at some of your other posts as well ...

 

Since you already have the Keys, I would let her work through them first and then followup with Lial's rather than continuing to plow ahead on something that she's NOT getting.

 

Being stuck on the same chapter since October (did I read you right?) would make me totally frustrated too. As a matter of fact, her brain may well have just gone into I'm never gonna get this shutdown mode.

 

The other thing you might do is give this a rest, go ahead and do chapter 5 (I'm looking at the TOC from here: http://www.pearsonhighered.com/educator/product/Introductory-Algebra/9780321279217.page ) and then go back and start again on chapter 3. Chapters 5-8 don't really depend on chapters 3 and 4 -- the material needs to be taught, but the order may vary.

[jamajo]

Having looked at some of your other posts as well ...

 

 

The other thing you might do is give this a rest, go ahead and do chapter 5 (I'm looking at the TOC from here: http://www.pearsonhighered.com/educator/product/Introductory-Algebra/9780321279217.page ) and then go back and start again on chapter 3. Chapters 5-8 don't really depend on chapters 3 and 4 -- the material needs to be taught, but the order may vary.

:iagree: This is my plan.

[beachnut]

BTDT with my 6th grader. Not at Algebra yet, but he and I butt heads particularly in math (his strength, my weakness). He would get SO mad at me when he didn't understand something, and I didn't know how else to explain a concept to him after several attempts. The BEST solution for us was to outsource this subject. He takes pre-algebra classes thru FLVS (FL Virtual School) and does SO much better handling his frustrations. I am almost out of the equation (excuse the pun). I help when I can, and when he gets too frustrated, I just say, "Call your teacher." This has relieved a LOT of stress in our homeschooling.

 

Lisa

[jhschool]

Have you tried Khan Academy?

 

It is free and the explanations are

very clear.

 

You could also look into hiring a tutor.

[klmama]

Have you looked at the Khan academy videos online? Between the Algebra I section and the Developmental math 2 section, you should be able to find videos she needs to understand much of the material. There are related practice problems, too. After she has watched, you could go over the finer details in the book with her, since she'll have some understanding already.

 

Also, are you taking advantage of the extra practice problems for the Lial text on the interactmath.com website? Find the book, then find the section she's on, and you'll have a whole new set of exercises to practice. You can have it help you go through the steps of the problems - just click "help me solve this" on the right hand side.

 

Another thought - could your dh work with her on math in the evenings for awhile? I've found that my dh is infinitely more patient than I at teaching math.

 

:grouphug: I hope you find a solution that works for your dd... and for you!

[Moira in MA]

Maybe Lial is a poor fit for your dd's learning style.

 

I used her Basic College Math text with my elder dd when I needed to delay starting algebra. She liked the title word 'College' but that was about it. I used Jacobs for Algebra I. When my younger dd was approaching algebra I took a look at Forster's Algebra I text since I'd used his text for Algebra 2 w/dd1 with great success. I decided not to go with it despite rave reviews from some on this board. It would have been good for dd1 but definitely not a hit with dd2.

 

The previous paragraph is meant to suggest that it's probably the text you're using. Can you and your dd review some others and make a choice together?

 

Just a suggestion that I hope helps (btw dd2 is now taking AP Calculus)

~Moira

[Amy in CO]

My dd was like this in 9th grade too. What I did is similar to what SWB suggests in her Real Kids lecture. We dropped back to Pre-Algebra, used a different curriculum, and had her spend more time on it so that it was done by the end of the year. Then in 10th we attempted Algebra again. It went much better the second time around.

 

She was beginning to think that she just couldn't get it so stopped trying. Dropping back to the lower level gave her the encouragement she needed to tackle it.