got a second to cheerlead for piano lessons ?

[christine in al]

I could really use some cheer leading that MAKING my kids take and practice a musical insturment is good for them.

 

I've read some research and even read it to them.... I cold just use some " buddies" cheering me on to tolerate the screaming, and crying and whining and complaining.

 

FWIW I've repeatedly told them they can learn any intsrument they choose, but they must study the making of music . They play piano because neither has chosen an alternative.. ( however, my dd is at this moment plunking on the old banjo " you are my sunsthine".)

 

I'm just tired of the fight right now and completely understand why parents let kids stop taking piano... cheaper, and easier and more peaceful.

 

Can someone tell me it's worth the fight?

 

TIA,

~christine in al

[praisefor3]

I can't tell you that it's worth it. Depends on your goals, needs/talents of the kids, etc. It certainly is helpful for every kid to have some musical foundation. However, I will tell you that in my particular situation with my second child (ds) I recognized early on that he had musical talent but also had the tendency to quit ANYTHING when it got hard...or boring...or he was tired...or changed his mind...etc. So with him I decided to push onward...It wasn't easy. Frankly, it was hard and many times he challenged me on it.

 

Finally two years ago on January 1st I told him that he needed to know that I would not discuss quitting piano for one year. There would be no discussions whatsoever until the following January 1st. I explained my reasons, talked about his talent, etc. He accepted this. If he started to complain, negotiate, etc. I immediately stopped it and reminded him of my rule. During that year his abilities increased and, while it still wasn't his favorite thing, he did have many good weeks. Let me add that his piano teacher (our music minister - male) was fabulous working with him. He knew how to motivate and inspire him. Without that key ingredient I don't think I could have pushed onward.

 

On January 1 2011 my ds remembered and put in his request to quit. With trepidation I listened (since I said I would) and then told him that I decided we would do it one more year. We had a brief discussion but it was much less dramatic and he gave up relatively quickly. (He was 13 so this was no easy match.) During this last year his skill has really improved. He hasn't been perfect - he's not always practiced like he should. In November we bought him a very nice guitar because I finally felt that he had gotten far enough in piano that he had a strong foundation and wouldn't lose that by adding in guitar (which I always thought he would enjoy even more). This was really my ploy to just add to his musical talent and abilities. This January 1st he never said a word. OH he would still quit if I let him. But I think he has finally reached the skill level where he doesn't regret it and the guitar opened even more "fun" for him.

 

Let me add that my ds is an outdoors boy by nature who loves hunting, critters, and basketball. He happened to be born to a Mama who owned a grand piano and whose parents were very musically talented so it was my own persistence that focused on musical ability and I don't think he would have ever brought it up without that. By this time if I had discovered that he truly had little talent and no interest I would have moved on before now to something else. I will take the same path with dd7 and see how far it goes. If you are teaching piano just for basic musical understanding then that doesn't hurt anyone but could be done in several ways. If you are teaching it for discipline purposes I'd find something that interests them more. But if you truly think this is a skill that they could/should have then there ARE times that you will have to be the persistence behind it and you need to find your own method for not allowing this to be a daily point of negotiation/argument.

[jennsmile]

My mom made us take lessons till we could pick up our chruch's hymnal and children's song book and play anything. I can't tell you how valuable that is. I am constantly playing in church on Sunday last minute.

[Evergreen State Sue]

After about 5 years, this is the first Christmas my dd can play a variety of Christmas songs that are pleasant to hear. It is so worth it now! I also have seen this past year that she will play the piano to relieve stress. I think this is such a healthy plus for her as a lifestyle habit.

[Lawana]

I am convinced that the study of music is as advantageous to overall education as the other foundational skills such as reading and math. Well, obviously one can get by in life just fine without musical knowledge, so the above is probably overstated. Nonetheless, I think it is vitally important.

 

From the time the dc started formal piano lessons at 7, I told them that piano practice, and now, additionally, music theory, would be required all the way through high school.

 

Dd has only once lost interest, and switching teachers took care of that.

 

Ds, on the other hand, would love to quit. We don't battle about it, because he knows I consider piano practice the same priority as doing math! Like a pp's son, ds has considerable musical aptitude, and is only developing it because I make him.;) He would much rather be active outside, or playing video games. Unfortunately, his fit with his (male) piano teacher isn't great, but we're muddling through. I have promised him that he can switch to a teacher that specializes in jazz, with a strong emphasis on improvisation, once he reaches 9th grade. But until then, I want him to continue getting a classical background.

[Heather in Neverland]

My mom let me decide when I was young. I quit. I still regret it to this day. I tell my ds I will appreciate it for him until he is old enough to appreciate it for himself. There will be zero discussion of quitting until my children are 18yo. Only then can they choose to quit.

[christine in al]

thank you ALL.

 

I like the " no more discussions, but will revisit on X date.

We have changed teachers for ds and its a good fit.

the kids are different, dd hates to perform doesn't mind practice,, ds, loves to perform, hates to work at something ( the curse of the clever)

 

and thanks for comments about my goals:

 

my goals are

1. musical literacy.... a hymnal is coming home with us. perfect idea- thanks When they can sight read and unKNOWN song.. at that level,, they can be done.

 

2. . sticking with something hard that one doesn't want to do ( like multiplication for dd age 9 )

 

3. not having kids who say as adults, " I wish my mom had not let me quit" I dont' want to let them down.

 

4. life enrichment. ( not saying this out loud anymore... ds LOVES this one I often hear,, " that did NOT enrich my life" ( makes me grin inside, but I tell him not to be obnoxious. )

 

 

Thank you all so very much.

~christine in al

[elfgivas]

My mom let me decide when I was young. I quit. I still regret it to this day. I tell my ds I will appreciate it for him until he is old enough to appreciate it for himself. There will be zero discussion of quitting until my children are 18yo. Only then can they choose to quit.

 

my mom didn't let me quit. thank goodness! i let the first two quit after three years. both as adults now really regret it and tell me to stick to my guns with the younger two.

 

we have gone the "you will play the violin until you are 18" route. now at age 13, i don't hear complaining from the third child. the fourth is not quite 12, and still complains. we have let her pick up piano as well, which is clearly a better fit..... but..... she is first chair in her orchestra and has the potential to be really quite good, so no quitting of violin for her either.

 

but it is a task and a half. we make practice part of school, and that helps. we do "no media until school is done", so if they haven't practiced by the end of school, they are almost eager to do it ;).

 

and this year youngest played the piano while we sang carols, and it was magical.

 

hang in there!

ann

[mktkcb]

Well, like the others said to you, it is worth it, but you have take the child and the goals into consideration. We're a music loving family, but didn't have a piano for many years. My oldest, while enjoying music, never struck me as being over the top musical, and we couldn't afford lessons when she was little. We did lots of appreciation & listening & recorder and the like. Number 3 came along, and from birth was obviously musically gifted. Also very immature, but thats another story. He did kindermusik, then started piano at age 7/8, and now at 15 is a fabulous musician. But he is borderline aspergers/adhd, and yes, practicing is sometimes a struggle. For HIM, I've said he has to finish through the last Certificate of Merit level. At that point he will be advanced level, and know advanced theory, and can do what he likes. But he needs to learn perseverence, and he is off the charts talented. Oldest? Decided to teach herself piano several years ago on her own. Plays little stuff here and there. Is studying engineering at college. She's herself. I never pushed her in that area. She's her and he's him :o). Ain't life grand?

[Critterfixer]

As I see it, music, in particular the playing of a musical instrument is like having a second language. Learning how to play, even if you are not very good at it (ME! after years of piano) it gives you a way to understand the language when you hear it.