My life as an archaeological dig

[Jean in Newcastle]

For those who don't know me, I've suffered from chronic illness for 20 years. The last 4 or so years have been specifically devoted to uncovering the strata of my illness one layer at a time. I'm getting better. A couple of weeks ago I shared my latest metaphor and New Year's resolutions for my health.

 

OK - but my life isn't just about my health, you know? I've got a household to run, finances to handle, schooling to plan and administer. And all of those areas have their own layers. Most of the time I am too busy with the daily to deal with the old layers of stuff. But we're on break still and I am facing the monster.

 

For the last couple of days I've been dealing with the worst of the financial backlog. We desperately need a working budget. Quicken and my bank helped with the easy stuff but much was buried under the handy category of "misc." For that I needed to look at our recent financial records - esp. those credit card bills. But our financial records were a foot and a half high stack of papers stuck in a banker's box with a sticky note on it that said "to file". My kids and I had a "filing party" today. It was surprisingly popular. We each had a file box in front of us. I distributed the papers to the person with the correct box and each one found the correct folder to stick it in. I'm still left with about 2 inches of stuff that needs new folders or is otherwise unfileable until I figure out what to do with it (most of it will probably be "round filed"). I'm still working on the budget but now at least I have all the components there to put together.

 

Anyway - the gist of this is that:

 

I'm discouraged. Dealing with this kind of backlog makes me revisit the "I'm such a loser" soundtrack that I can get stuck in my head because I let it get this bad to begin with.

 

I'm working on dealing with my discouragement by making a plan. We've done the Fly Lady Crisis Cleaning before and that was a hit with my crew too. Dd10 esp. loves to clean and organize.

 

Anyone else have an archaeological dig that they're in the midst of dealing with or have successfully dealt with? I could use a bit of encouragement. And maybe a pith helmet to protect me from falling paper.

[8circles]

:grouphug: because im you soul-sister in this department & :lurk5:

[Onceuponatime]

You really need to ditch the "I'm such a loser" soundtrack. Replace it with "I accomplished a lot today" or "I'm so grateful for what I accomplished today." :-)

 

There are a few piles I need to deal with, but today I was happy just putting some shoes and shirts I don't wear in a bag for the thrift store.

[Cassy]

You really need to ditch the "I'm such a loser" soundtrack.

 

:iagree: How about "I have such a busy, exhilarating, fulfilling life that I can hardly keep up with it all. But I do. I'm wonderful."

 

I certainly think you're wonderful. :grouphug: Don't let the mid-winter blues get you down.

 

Love from

 

Cassy

[regentrude]

I'm working on dealing with my discouragement by making a plan. We've done the Fly Lady Crisis Cleaning before and that was a hit with my crew too. Dd10 esp. loves to clean and organize.

 

Anyone else have an archaeological dig that they're in the midst of dealing with or have successfully dealt with? I could use a bit of encouragement. And maybe a pith helmet to protect me from falling paper.

 

No archeological dig - but a suggestion for you:

we have switched all our banking to electronic. Credit card statements are viewed online. We get an email when a new monthly statement is up, but can also track our current finances online whenever we want.

There are account aggregation programs which assemble the electronic information for all your bank accounts and credit cards on one page (plus frequent flyer and mortgages and whatnot). We use a program called Yodlee. So, in one page, you see all your accounts and their balances, and can click on individual accounts to see details of all transactions.

 

This means: no more filing. The computer does it all. We hardly get any paper statements anymore.

 

ETA: We also use electronic debit to pay our phone, water, electricity and gas bills. We still get paper statements, but they can be filed right away because we do not have to send a check back, it is all taken care of automatically. And we can't ever forget.

Edited December 27, 2011 by regentrude

[Leav97]

:grouphug:

[Parrothead]

What?! You're not a loser and if I were there with you I just might pop you one for saying so. :D

 

I'll second the electronic banking. The only thing I get a paper bill for is the electric and water bills. It is so nice to not have to deal with all that paper.

 

Other than that I have no advice. :grouphug:

[Mom2absh]

Jean,

 

I know how you feel - it IS discouraging to have to address the mess. I, too, have a voice that berates me for "allowing" things to get that way. When I feel that way, I try to practice encouraging self-talk. I have to acknowledge that it IS sad or discouraging or upsetting, because the part of me that feels that way won't be able to move past it until I've validated the feelings by acknowledging/accepting them.

 

But once I've acknowledging the "negative" feeling, I can move on. I can encourage myself to turn away from the mean voice. If I were in your situation, I would praise myself for several things: that my children were able to be such great helpers. That SO MUCH was accomplished in one day. That I will know where to put new papers when they arrive. That I can move on to the next budgeting step. And I would allow myself to feel relief from the nagging weight the presence of the two-foot stack had become in my mind.

 

Don't dwell on how the pile got there - that's over and past, and cannot be changed. Focus on maintaining your new system, and don't be afraid to ask for encouragement as you need it!

 

You did great today, Jean! :grouphug:

 

From another Jean :)

[Harriet Vane]

I'm actually in the midst of the exact same process. You have my fullest sympathy. My dh is not the most organized with paperwork, bless his heart. I am now going through every. financial. file. we have and sorting, labeling, organizing and just generally trying to figure out the finances. He's better at the math, but I'm better at the keeping track and organizing and budgeting. Moving twice in five weeks this fall did not help.

[swellmomma]

You really need to ditch the "I'm such a loser" soundtrack. Replace it with "I accomplished a lot today" or "I'm so grateful for what I accomplished today." :-)

 

There are a few piles I need to deal with, but today I was happy just putting some shoes and shirts I don't wear in a bag for the thrift store.

 

:iagree: This. I have found that when my self talk gets so negative everything I attempt to tackle seems impossible(which gets into the why bother trying category). But when I ditch that talk and focus on the things I DID do, and how much progress is accomplished, it is as if nothing is too big to handle and I can keep on trucking.

 

The only thing I want to add specifically other than a :party: for getting such a big task done, is to finish those last 2" before Friday. Otherwise you will be sitting here in the same boat next year with those 2" serving as the foundation for the next pile.

 

You did a great job, it is not easy with all the health issues you have had going on.

 

As for my own life, It's not so much an archeological dig, it's more like trying to wrestle an octopus into a mesh bag. I have decided that this year something has to change, either I stop fighting with the octopus and leave it be, or I get a different bag that is less porous. :lol:

[eternalknot]

Anyway - the gist of this is that:

 

I'm discouraged. Dealing with this kind of backlog makes me revisit the "I'm such a loser" soundtrack that I can get stuck in my head because I let it get this bad to begin with.

 

So you let it get bad ::shrug:: that happens to the best of people (even those without legit reasons to fall behind on things); the winner in you kept the paperwork from becoming even worse. Quit looking in the rearview mirror; just keep focus on the road ahead.

 

Honestly, getting over the mental hump that it requires to even BEGIN to tackle a situation like the one you described is pretty impressive; for many people it's easier to keep their heads buried in the sand - perhaps not logistically, but mentally.

 

You've done well today, and you should be kinder to yourself for taking the first step, and paving quite the path -- from filing to figuring out a plan, and all. You earned a pat on the back, from yourself.

 

(Then come over and help me sort this mess of a closet. I'm one of those I wrote of earlier in this post - still not able to get over the mental hump of what a chore this is going to be, and I assure you there will be no party or eager participation on behalf of my kids for this task LOL.)

 

:grouphug:

[PrincessMommy]

For those who don't know me, I've suffered from chronic illness for 20 years. The last 4 or so years have been specifically devoted to uncovering the strata of my illness one layer at a time. I'm getting better. A couple of weeks ago I shared my latest metaphor and New Year's resolutions for my health.

 

OK - but my life isn't just about my health, you know? I've got a household to run, finances to handle, schooling to plan and administer. And all of those areas have their own layers. Most of the time I am too busy with the daily to deal with the old layers of stuff. But we're on break still and I am facing the monster.

 

For the last couple of days I've been dealing with the worst of the financial backlog. We desperately need a working budget. Quicken and my bank helped with the easy stuff but much was buried under the handy category of "misc." For that I needed to look at our recent financial records - esp. those credit card bills. But our financial records were a foot and a half high stack of papers stuck in a banker's box with a sticky note on it that said "to file". My kids and I had a "filing party" today. It was surprisingly popular. We each had a file box in front of us. I distributed the papers to the person with the correct box and each one found the correct folder to stick it in. I'm still left with about 2 inches of stuff that needs new folders or is otherwise unfileable until I figure out what to do with it (most of it will probably be "round filed"). I'm still working on the budget but now at least I have all the components there to put together.

 

Anyway - the gist of this is that:

 

I'm discouraged. Dealing with this kind of backlog makes me revisit the "I'm such a loser" soundtrack that I can get stuck in my head because I let it get this bad to begin with.

 

I'm working on dealing with my discouragement by making a plan. We've done the Fly Lady Crisis Cleaning before and that was a hit with my crew too. Dd10 esp. loves to clean and organize.

 

Anyone else have an archaeological dig that they're in the midst of dealing with or have successfully dealt with? I could use a bit of encouragement. And maybe a pith helmet to protect me from falling paper.

 

oh yeah...definitely. Right in the midst of dealing with a lot of stuff that has percolated to the top recently. Been hearing that soundtrack a lot lately too.:grouphug: One thing that helped was having a friend to talk with. There's a good book I'm reading called "Ooening UP: the Healing Power of Expressing Emotions". I'm not generally a self-help person and I'm certainly NOT someone comfortable expressing myself. This books talks about how writing can be healing. Anyway, Perhaps I'll pm you.... since it's kind of private. and besides. I'm supposed to be getting dinner on the table :001_huh:

[Jean in Newcastle]

:grouphug: because im you soul-sister in this department & :lurk5:

 

:grouphug:

 

Thank you. Your support encourages me. :001_smile:

[Jean in Newcastle]

You really need to ditch the "I'm such a loser" soundtrack. Replace it with "I accomplished a lot today" or "I'm so grateful for what I accomplished today." :-)

 

There are a few piles I need to deal with, but today I was happy just putting some shoes and shirts I don't wear in a bag for the thrift store.

 

:iagree: How about "I have such a busy, exhilarating, fulfilling life that I can hardly keep up with it all. But I do. I'm wonderful."

 

I certainly think you're wonderful. :grouphug: Don't let the mid-winter blues get you down.

 

Love from

 

Cassy

 

Jean,

 

I know how you feel - it IS discouraging to have to address the mess. I, too, have a voice that berates me for "allowing" things to get that way. When I feel that way, I try to practice encouraging self-talk. I have to acknowledge that it IS sad or discouraging or upsetting, because the part of me that feels that way won't be able to move past it until I've validated the feelings by acknowledging/accepting them.

 

But once I've acknowledging the "negative" feeling, I can move on. I can encourage myself to turn away from the mean voice. If I were in your situation, I would praise myself for several things: that my children were able to be such great helpers. That SO MUCH was accomplished in one day. That I will know where to put new papers when they arrive. That I can move on to the next budgeting step. And I would allow myself to feel relief from the nagging weight the presence of the two-foot stack had become in my mind.

 

Don't dwell on how the pile got there - that's over and past, and cannot be changed. Focus on maintaining your new system, and don't be afraid to ask for encouragement as you need it!

 

You did great today, Jean! :grouphug:

 

From another Jean :)

 

You have much better soundtracks;) I am working on mine. I also need to keep blinders on because I can only be happy for what I've accomplished if I don't let myself see all the other stuff that is waiting to be accomplished.

[Jean in Newcastle]

No archeological dig - but a suggestion for you:

we have switched all our banking to electronic. Credit card statements are viewed online. We get an email when a new monthly statement is up, but can also track our current finances online whenever we want.

There are account aggregation programs which assemble the electronic information for all your bank accounts and credit cards on one page (plus frequent flyer and mortgages and whatnot). We use a program called Yodlee. So, in one page, you see all your accounts and their balances, and can click on individual accounts to see details of all transactions.

 

This means: no more filing. The computer does it all. We hardly get any paper statements anymore.

 

ETA: We also use electronic debit to pay our phone, water, electricity and gas bills. We still get paper statements, but they can be filed right away because we do not have to send a check back, it is all taken care of automatically. And we can't ever forget.

 

What?! You're not a loser and if I were there with you I just might pop you one for saying so. :D

 

I'll second the electronic banking. The only thing I get a paper bill for is the electric and water bills. It is so nice to not have to deal with all that paper.

 

Other than that I have no advice. :grouphug:

 

I'm started on the online banking road. I've got part of my stuff done automatically and part not yet. I need to work on that!

 

And I'm staying well away from Parrothead so that she won't pop me one!:D

[Jean in Newcastle]

I'm actually in the midst of the exact same process. You have my fullest sympathy. My dh is not the most organized with paperwork, bless his heart. I am now going through every. financial. file. we have and sorting, labeling, organizing and just generally trying to figure out the finances. He's better at the math, but I'm better at the keeping track and organizing and budgeting. Moving twice in five weeks this fall did not help.

 

I'm sure that my dh would sigh in sympathy with you!

[Jean in Newcastle]

:iagree: This. I have found that when my self talk gets so negative everything I attempt to tackle seems impossible(which gets into the why bother trying category). But when I ditch that talk and focus on the things I DID do, and how much progress is accomplished, it is as if nothing is too big to handle and I can keep on trucking.

 

The only thing I want to add specifically other than a :party: for getting such a big task done, is to finish those last 2" before Friday. Otherwise you will be sitting here in the same boat next year with those 2" serving as the foundation for the next pile.

 

You did a great job, it is not easy with all the health issues you have had going on.

 

As for my own life, It's not so much an archeological dig, it's more like trying to wrestle an octopus into a mesh bag. I have decided that this year something has to change, either I stop fighting with the octopus and leave it be, or I get a different bag that is less porous. :lol:

 

I like your octopus metaphor! Can you cut off a few limbs? :001_huh:

[Jean in Newcastle]

So you let it get bad ::shrug:: that happens to the best of people (even those without legit reasons to fall behind on things); the winner in you kept the paperwork from becoming even worse. Quit looking in the rearview mirror; just keep focus on the road ahead.

 

Honestly, getting over the mental hump that it requires to even BEGIN to tackle a situation like the one you described is pretty impressive; for many people it's easier to keep their heads buried in the sand - perhaps not logistically, but mentally.

 

You've done well today, and you should be kinder to yourself for taking the first step, and paving quite the path -- from filing to figuring out a plan, and all. You earned a pat on the back, from yourself.

 

(Then come over and help me sort this mess of a closet. I'm one of those I wrote of earlier in this post - still not able to get over the mental hump of what a chore this is going to be, and I assure you there will be no party or eager participation on behalf of my kids for this task LOL.)

 

:grouphug:

 

I had my head buried in the sand for a long time. But you are right, it serves no purpose to keep looking backward.

 

I'll send my dd10 over for the closet. She actually likes this sort of thing! Ds14 helps out because he loves his mama but isn't really excited about the work.

[Jean in Newcastle]

oh yeah...definitely. Right in the midst of dealing with a lot of stuff that has percolated to the top recently. Been hearing that soundtrack a lot lately too.:grouphug: One thing that helped was having a friend to talk with. There's a good book I'm reading called "Ooening UP: the Healing Power of Expressing Emotions". I'm not generally a self-help person and I'm certainly NOT someone comfortable expressing myself. This books talks about how writing can be healing. Anyway, Perhaps I'll pm you.... since it's kind of private. and besides. I'm supposed to be getting dinner on the table :001_huh:

 

I put that book on hold at the library. :grouphug: Please do PM me.

[Mom2absh]

You have much better soundtracks;) I am working on mine. I also need to keep blinders on because I can only be happy for what I've accomplished if I don't let myself see all the other stuff that is waiting to be accomplished.

 

Hey, blinders have a purpose!:001_smile: And when you do notice some of the stuff that is waiting, just remind yourself that you are working on it. There's only so much you can do - this is true of anyone, not just someone with the challenges you have.

 

In the spirit of solidarity, I will work on a project I've been avoiding, too. Now which one will I choose? :p