Anyone follow totally different approaches with different children?

[garddwr]

My 8 year old wants to do all her work independently--she doesn't want me to schedule, doesn't want me to teach...she's pretty good at working independently so I'm trying to give minimal guidance from the sidelines.

 

My 6 year old really likes it when I lay out his school stuff workbox fashion so he can just work through it. He's not ready to really work independently in anything, and I think it will be a long time before he is ready to do much independent work at all.

 

It just feels strange to me to take a totally hands-off approach with one child while hand-holding with the other. It's more of a personality than an age issue. I'm curious to see how it plays out over the long run...

[Anne in CA]

My oldest child liked to get her work done early every week so that she had long weekends. I used to make her a chart of everything that needed to be done that week and let her go.

 

My son would never have gone for that. He isn't as social as she is and does not see the need for the extra time. I went over things with him until he was 13 and needed online classes.

 

My youngest is different still. She likes the chart, to see what to get done in a week, but only finishes a few things early for a light day on Friday. She also likes some help from me, she needs it with grammar and writing, but tries to do most of her school work herself. Outlining is hard for her, so she likes me to look over her history reading and help her find the main points.

[Farrar]

Yes. I've been struggling my way into this with my boys, who are twins. Everything is so different.

 

One is cheerful and plugs away at his work. He needs help and gets frustrated sometimes, but he can work independently. He does well with Math Mammoth. He likes to read on his own. He likes to get work over with. He enjoys logic. He'd rather do fill in the blanks or written work than oral narrations. When he's getting out of control or upset he needs me to get in his face and show him who's boss - which sounds harsh, but really he just needs me to speak strongly to him and tell him to cut it out.

 

The other is anxious and moody but also really in touch with his emotions. He needs me to be really hands on. He needs spiral programs that go round about. He likes to think and make connections and talk things out. He dislikes written work. He doesn't read well independently yet. He likes to procrastinate. He's more apt to be sedentary but needs physical activity more and is my stronger soccer player and swimmer. When he's getting out of control, he needs me to ignore him and speak softly and normalize everything.

 

The curricular stuff is easier for me to find my way to (though not easy)... the disciplinary stuff gives me conniptions sometimes because they need a different me. It's really difficult to turn to one misbehaving/wild acting 7 yo in one second and say loudly, "Stop it, right now!" and then turn to the other misbehaving/wild acting 7 yo in the next and say really quietly, "What are you doing?" Pardon me while my brain splits in half.

[gardenmom5]

children definitely come with their own personality.

 

I gave almost no gudiance to 1dd in her education. ever. when she was in middle school. all I said was "your classes need to have educational value". she would get irked with me when I asked her what she was going to do with a classics degree. makes a great undergraduate degree. (she now admits it was something she should have given consideration. she's working as a DBA. meh, sql's just another language.) I should add - this is the child who used "I have homework" as an excuse to not do chores around the house. (she was often reading a book under her covers. considering her grades and scores, I let her get away with things.)

 

wish my boys were that independent . . . after having had to walk 3ds (HFASD/SPD/ and many behaviors of dyspraxia) through *everything*, tonight he was properly motivated (no lessons, no time on minecraft) and did a whole page in math - including writing (he has dysgraphia) - all by himself. In under 20 minutes. methinks his cover may be blown . . . .

Edited December 22, 2011 by gardenmom5

[HiddenJewel]

Absolutely! Just like with parenting, we use whatever method works best for each individual child.

[higginszoo]

Definitely. Three of my four children were born in a 30 month span. You'd think that with an average age difference of 15 mo, I'd be able to combine them ... well, not so much. Ironically, as the oldest two are getting older, it's getting a little easier, but even with the same materials/syllabus for math and science, how I approach it with each child is still different.

[Retired]

personality differences

 

my oldest (graduating this May) has been hands off he is what I called a guided unschooled. I tell him the subject needed for graduation and "proof" I need to give credit.

 

my youngest (14) wants the structure, actual one-on-one teaching from me

they have been this way since elementary years

 

My oldest was forced into my idea of homeschooling for the first several years but as I gained experience I realized that learning looks really different for each person

 

My hands-off guy has learned much more than I would of required.;)

 

My youngest is becoming more hands off but I still teach him math/grammar. We discuss everything. He learns by verbalizing everything so we talk and discuss every all subject.

 

Which would drive my oldest nuts.

 

I know my youngest will love college. I am not so sure how oldest will adapt in college. He has always been a nonconformist. We will find out next fall.

[Lizzie in Ma]

Oldest has always been a hands off kind of kid with the exception of read alouds. This has meant finding materials that teach to her and not from the TM. CLE was great for lots of it, Mystery of History, some BJU classes, I can't remember what all else.

Youngest prefers to have me beside her still and is a Charlotte Mason kind of kid.

[garddwr]

It came to me as quite an epiphany lately that in homeschooling I could/should take different approaches with each child. Of course I always knew that about parenting, but I couldn't see how to homeschool several children (my youngest two are still in the pipeline) using different methods without things devolving into utter chaos. I wanted everyone on the same schedule. It wasn't a problem when I only had one school age child, because I just adapted to her, but with #2 in first grade this year it has been a struggle to figure out what works. He wants things scheduled and me there working with him, eldest dd absolutely rebels if she feels I am constricting her to a schedule. She works very well independently. I did just recently change my math plans for her and order Math Mammoth and CLE because she wants to work through a program without help from me unless she asks. We had been using Miquon and Singapore, but neither of those works well for independent study.

We have the same type of issue with chores--dd8 will take an assigned responsibility and run with it, rarely needs to be reminded--but hates to be told "it's chore time now"; ds loves to have a time when I am working with him to do chores.

Ah well, keeps life interesting.

[SailorMom]

For the 6 years they were home schooled together, I had to do almost everything different with my sons. They would use some of the same curriculum, but the way it was approached, explained, and assigned had to be changed for each of them :)

[littleWMN]

Oldest has always been a hands off kind of kid with the exception of read alouds. This has meant finding materials that teach to her and not from the TM. CLE was great for lots of it, Mystery of History, some BJU classes, I can't remember what all else.

Youngest prefers to have me beside her still and is a Charlotte Mason kind of kid.

 

What do you use for your oldest for high school? That totally describes my DD10, who also loves CLE (and VP self-paced history).