Aspie teens

[Night Elf]

I usually post on the general board, but I thought I would start this conversation here first. I'm not sure how many Aspie teens we have on this forum, but if you have one, what plans do you have for him/her after high school?

 

My ds15 is enrolled in an online high school program and will graduate with an accredited diploma. This is important to DH and me. Ds is doing fairly well. It's the writing assignments that get to him sometimes. I've just learned to slow his assignments down to give him plenty of time to complete the assignment. At our pace, he may not graduate until he's 19 yrs. old. I'm okay with that, but DH is worried we are moving too slowly. I just can't get it through DH's head that our son is just not a typical student, especially when our son does such an incredible job with his school work. His writing assignments are always very well done, it just takes him much longer to get a writing assignment done than a typical student.

 

So, I'm really nervous about what he might do after high school. DH thinks he should try college but ds hates the idea of sitting in a classroom, especially on a college campus. The local technical school is a possibility, although he would still have to overcome the class of people issue. I don't know how to help him prepare for it. Our school system doesn't allow part-time schoolers. It's all or nothing.

[butterflymommy]

I have one, he is doing SOS 9th grade and is about halfway done. We definitely are aiming for college (while living at home) but in truth I don't know what his future holds, and it keeps me awake at night. :mellow:

[rafiki]

.

[MamaSheep]

Our Aspie is 14. We haven't got it figured out either. He's smart enough for college, but lacks motivation and has a really hard time with that classroom full of people thing.

 

Our school system does allow part-timers and at some point I would dearly love to get him into a classroom just for a class or two at a time. Until just recently I haven't been able to even envision how it could possibly work out well for him, but this year he's taking a religious education class that's actually going fairly well. He still has a lot to learn about how to function well in a classroom setting, but is actually making progress on that for a change. When he was in school before he was mostly either having a panic attack or trying hard not to, and didn't gain any of those much vaunted "social skills" kids are just supposed to pick up through osmosis. :glare: So he's starting largely from scratch. He still has anxiety issues, but the teacher has been wonderful about things like letting him sit in the desk nearest the door with no near neighbors and step out in the hall when he starts feeling like it's too much. These days he stays in for the whole class very consistently except that he leaves at the beginning every day when they sing a hymn because they use recorded music with violins in it that set his teeth on edge. And the teacher is great about explaining things to ds after class if he didn't understand the assignment or whatever, and being flexible with some of the assignments that are too much for him (like talking in front of the class). But in this case I'm sitting in an empty office just down the hall reading a book so he can come get me if he needs me. If we ever do classes at the school I may need to sit in the office or make other arrangements to be accessible for him. Not a good plan for college, but if it's a stepping stone to being able to sit in a classroom on his own, well, so be it.

 

But I don't know. We may need to see if we can find a college track somewhere where he can do at least some of the coursework online or something. I worry about his future too. And like you I think it might not be a bad thing if he spent an extra year or so on high school. He's smart, but he lags behind in emotional maturity, which I think is also important to success in college. So...oh...who knows. I suppose he will grow up, and we will find something for him. Sometime.

 

When I start obsessing about the uncertainty too much I remind myself that when he was nine he was so violent and out of control and OCD that I was worried he'd wind up sedated in a padded room somewhere for the rest of his life. He's come so far since then that it's probably silly for me to try to predict where he'll be in another five years. With him it seems like we just have to take it one year (or day) at a time and play it by ear, and trust that when it's time the "next thing" will be clear.

[Elm in NJ]

Mine is 16, his social skills leaves a lot to be desired. I am going to let him take 2 community classes next year in 11th grade (1 a semester) to see how he does. Writing is also his weakness, and my dh wants him in a 4 year school after he graduates. I am trying to convince dh that the cc will be better and after 2 years he can transfer to a local university.

 

It is so difficult sometimes. I worry a lot about

[8filltheheart]

Beth,

 

We are seriously considering sending our ds to Western KY Uni next yr and placing him in the Kelly Autistic Program. They offer the option of vocational options/work placement or a 4 yr degree. And, hey, at 20, we still haven't worked it out!

 

http://kap.wku.edu/College_Students-KAP_Circle_of_Support.html

[Night Elf]

I have looked at our colleges, even the junior ones, and the only ways for someone without a high school diploma to take classes is having the GED or qualifying for duel enrollment That includes SAT scores. We are not sure about that path. We don't know what happens to students who need to drop out or who don't do well.

 

I have no ideas about volunteer opportunities that are around others. The local humane society is the only thing I know about. We do not belong to a church either. I tried some local homeschool classes but the organization is very small. High school classes have about 3 students, I think.

 

At least in college classrooms, he can sit in the back and leave if needs to. I'm more concerned with the course structure and deadlines. He is used to modifying schedules. It is something we will have to work on. For example, he had to stop his regular History lessons in order to dedicate his time to a research paper. That put him 4 weeks behind my original schedule. In fact, he is sitting here working on the next paper. I've given him 4 days this week nd I'm hoping he will get 3 paragraphs done. It's looking iffy at this moment.

 

Also, he has no idea of careers. The only thing he can think of is to work at Game Stop. The age requirement is 18. I could see him doing computer repair like with Geek Squad, but I can't see them allowing a teen to watch and learn. He is not particularly into computers, but it seems like a good job for someone like him.

[8filltheheart]

I have looked at our colleges, even the junior ones, and the only ways for someone without a high school diploma to take classes is having the GED or qualifying for duel enrollment That includes SAT scores. We are not sure about that path. .

 

Since he is going to have an accredited diploma, that is not the case. Search open admissions and you'll find a list of CC's that only require a diploma.

 

http://www.bing.com/search?q=ga+community+colleges+open+admission&form=MOZSBR&pc=MOZI

 

FWIW, our ds's high school transcript is a mess. We are using his CC courses since graduating from high school to make up for deficiencies and he will be applying as a transfer student. The pt is that you don't need all the answers now. There is more than a single path. You can make the wrong choices and simply change course later on when you realize it.

[Night Elf]

Since he is going to have an accredited diploma, that is not the case. Search open admissions and you'll find a list of CC's that only require a diploma.

 

I was talking about the suggestion that he can take cc classes while still being a high school student at home. I'm assuming those types of requirements will vary by state. The only program I know about that allows that in GA is the dual enrollment and that requires the SAT scores and a certain number of CPCs to be met. The CPCs are less of a problem than the SAT.

 

Also, although we are homeschoolers and I report attendance, we are using an accredited diploma program. I won't need to do a portfolio because our school releases transcripts like a regular brick and mortar school. The colleges lump homeschooled students with non-accredited students, but technically my children are working in an accredited school. It was the main reason we chose to use such a program. There is no way I can plan and implement high school on my own. I wasn't successful with K-8.

 

The link you provided is a bit confusing for me. I've been looking at the admissions reqs for 2 colleges that are within driving distance. I can share the links if that is helpful.

 

Gwinnett College

 

Georgia Perimeter College

 

I've read through the requirements several times and I don't see anything different from what I've read before. A high school student can take college courses simultaneously if they are joint enrolled. A freshman can go in by the accredited school route (regular high school), GED, or homeschool portfolio. All options require SAT scores. What are you seeing that I'm missing?

[MamaSheep]

Does your community have any kind of adult education program? Our city organizes inexpensive classes on various topics for whoever wants to take them, usually things like basic computer skills, photography, painting, aerobics, and that kind of thing. They don't count as "credit" for anything, they're just for personal enrichment, but that kind of thing might be an opportunity for an Aspie to get some experience being in a classroom setting.

[8filltheheart]

 

 

The link you provided is a bit confusing for me. I've been looking at the admissions reqs for 2 colleges that are within driving distance. I can share the links if that is helpful.

 

Gwinnett College

 

Georgia Perimeter College

 

I've read through the requirements several times and I don't see anything different from what I've read before. A high school student can take college courses simultaneously if they are joint enrolled. A freshman can go in by the accredited school route (regular high school), GED, or homeschool portfolio. All options require SAT scores. What are you seeing that I'm missing?

 

I don't see where it says the SAT is required. The first link states that Official SAT and ACT test scores are NOT required for admission except for Dual Enrollment and Home-Schooled applicants. With an accredited diploma, I do not think he will be considered a homeschooled applicant.

 

The 2nd link states: Guaranteed Admission: High school graduates with a college preparatory diploma and 2.0 cumulative grade point average or a technical/career diploma with a 2.2 cumulative grade point average will be guaranteed admission after submitting an application, application fee and official high school transcript (or transcript with coursework to date if not graduated).

 

If you were issuing the diploma, than I think your interpretation of requiring the SAT would be correct. However, w/an accredited diploma, I do think you are misinterpreting the websites.

 

I know homeschoolers in TN that used out-of-state accredited schools and were ineligible for the TN HOPE scholarship $$ even though they were "homeschoolers." The state did not consider them having earned a TN diploma b/c of the out-of-state accreditation. If an accredited school is issuing the diploma, why would the CC even ever need to know that he was homeschooled?

Edited December 8, 2011 by 8FillTheHeart

[mktkcb]

Sigh....I have one of these. 15. I'm just awakening him to the fact of his mild aspie-ness, as it was fairly recently that I figured it out myself. He was "gifted and quirky" pretty much his whole life. Not over the top, just lots of sensory stuff, some physical stuff, intensity etc. I'm probably still not 100% sure, but probably some combo of gifted/adhd/aspie. Schoolwork takes forever to get through because his processing speed is just not there. Socially he does "ok". Not great, but pretty good. He is in 2 outside classes this year, and I really hoped that this would kick him into self motivation gear, but that doesn't seem to be happening. He hates sitting through classes & practically bolts once they are done. Can't organize himself out of a paper bag. Thinks he too smart to have to really study much. Can't remember assignments when they're on the list right in front of him. I'm trying to decide whether to evaluate or not. On the up side, he is a talented advanced level pianist, has a great sense of humor, and can look pretty typical frequently enough to make me want to strangle him the rest of the time. There are just things he doesn't get. Very literal with some things. Misinterprets a lot & then overreacts because of the misinterpretation. Anyway, lots of little stuff. Very frustrating this year & truthfully, I'm just not sure what to try at this point. He balks big time when I try to hurry him up. Ugh. I love him to death, but just shoot me now.... he can learn anything if he wants to. Wanting to is the biggie right now.

[butterflymommy]

I have looked at our colleges, even the junior ones, and the only ways for someone without a high school diploma to take classes is having the GED or qualifying for duel enrollment That includes SAT scores. We are not sure about that path. We don't know what happens to students who need to drop out or who don't do well.

 

I know I'm in a minority here but I for one am not going to shy away from a GED track because it is basically required by the public colleges here for enrollment. As long as he has a college degree eventually I don't see the GED hurting him. If asked where he went to high school by an employer he could simply say he was homeschooled and then went to college.

[Night Elf]

Does your community have any kind of adult education program?

 

Good idea. We have classes like that in our Parks & Recreation Dept. I'll have to look at them and see if there is anything that would work.

 

I don't see where it says the SAT is required. The first link states that Official SAT and ACT test scores are NOT required for admission except for Dual Enrollment and Home-Schooled applicants. With an accredited diploma, I do not think he will be considered a homeschooled applicant.

 

Okay, the first link was Gwinnett College. I followed the link for Entrance requirements and see this, "Beginning fall 2012, test scores will be required for all freshman applicants." It's right above the required scores from the SAT/ACT and some other test called COMPASS. Then further down on the page, it lists reqs for entering freshman and they only list high school diploma, GED, or homeschool portfolio. Even further down the page is Dual Enrollment which requires SAT scores as well.

 

The 2nd link states: Guaranteed Admission: High school graduates with a college preparatory diploma and 2.0 cumulative grade point average or a technical/career diploma with a 2.2 cumulative grade point average will be guaranteed admission after submitting an application, application fee and official high school transcript (or transcript with coursework to date if not graduated).

 

Okay, I missed the NOT required part. :tongue_smilie: However, I was looking into the dual enrollment options so that my son can take some courses at the college while still working on his diploma. So he would need the SAT for this school in order to be considered for dual enrollment. Otherwise my son will have to wait until he has the diploma which will be when he's 19 or so. That will be okay. Starting earlier would be good, but waiting is okay. This is the school that we would likely choose anyway. They also have online classes which will be helpful. My dd19 is probably going to start at this school next summer.

 

I really appreciate you helping. I feel so dumb trying to figure this stuff out.

[Night Elf]

I know I'm in a minority here but I for one am not going to shy away from a GED track because it is basically required by the public colleges here for enrollment. As long as he has a college degree eventually I don't see the GED hurting him. If asked where he went to high school by an employer he could simply say he was homeschooled and then went to college.

 

My DH and I decided to have our son work on the accredited high school diploma because we aren't sure he is even going to go to college. And just because he goes, doesn't mean he will finish. I don't have anything against the GED if it's done the way you are talking about. I agree that a college diploma trumps a high school diploma. But we don't want our son to have just a GED and either no or some college. In the job market where he may be competing for jobs, he may be at a disadvantage against someone who has the high school diploma.

 

And even if we did feel he would go to college AND stay to graduate, I am not comfortable with having him go full time too early. He'll be 16 and a junior next fall. It would be okay for him to take 1 campus course, but we don't want him in college full time at that point. I know he won't be ready. And if he is only taking 1 course, he would need to work because taking only one class isn't enough. But getting a job opens up another can of worms. It just seems much easier to keep him in high school classes until such time he can handle a full college course load.

 

I tell you, all of this makes me want to cry. It's just too hard to figure out and the more I read, the more stupid I feel. At this point, I think I'm just going to stop looking at colleges and just let him work on his diploma at his own pace. When he's finished, I'll enroll him in the junior college I mentioned in another post that doesn't require the SAT, which would be a huge relief in and of itself! I would like to start him off in one campus course and a couple of online courses. All of his classes are online right now so he's used to them. It sounds like a good plan right now.

[AngieW in Texas]

My oldest covers for herself really well in a classroom environment. The teachers are unlikely to have any idea that she's Aspie unless she tells them. She did fine at the cc. Living away from home for college has been really rough for her. She has grandparents just 10 minutes from campus which helps, but they haven't done as much with her as I had really hoped they would. They talked a lot about trying to see her at least 1x/week if she was available, but what it's actually turned out to be is that her grampa took her around a lot that first week to get last minute supplies and then after that has seen her just 1x/month. I was very glad that my MIL did meet her at the ER when the student health center transferred her there back in September (turned out that she was just dehydrated), but any contact has been initiated by my dd and she's always really worried about bothering them.

 

Her campus actually has a lot of services that are free for students, but most of those services are in a group setting and she's just not willing to go. She went to the Asperger's Support Group a couple of times but said the other people there (the other Aspies) were just too annoying for her deal with, so she stopped going. She's not willing to go to the social skills classes. The only thing she's willing to do is individual counseling.

 

She has learned to alter her biggest stim from leaping around while making swooshing noises to running outside while making commentary in her head.

 

She'll be back home on Thursday.

 

My middle dd has a much harder time blending in to classroom environments. She views not raising her hand to answer a question in class to be the same as lying. She can't NOT respond. Her teachers usually know very quickly that she's Aspie. She has a much easier time than my oldest socially though. She can handle give&take better. She has a much harder time dealing with pressure than my oldest. She needs a lot more downtime. She can also handle only limited screen time in a day. Her eyes start to hurt and her head starts to pound. So she can be on the computer for about an hour at a time, but has to have a MINIMUM of two hours off of the computer before she can get back on again. She can do a MAXIMUM of 4 screen sessions in a day. This really makes things difficult when she's writing a major paper. She has to make sure to start work on things like that well in advance because of her difficulty with that.

 

I think she will have a much easier time socially at college than my oldest, but she will have a much harder time dealing with the pressure, especially not living at home. She needs physical contact a lot more than my oldest ever did. Her biggest stims are swinging and lying on the floor on her back while kicking and punching a ball with her feet and hands to keep it in the air. It's pretty noisy and can cause damage if she doesn't make sure to put everything away first. She's not going to be able to do either one at college because they generally don't have swingsets on campuses and she can't do her juggling thing in a dorm room. I'm trying to find something she can switch to. She really needs the compression though. A minitramp would work, but she wouldn't be able to have that in a dorm room because of noise.

 

She also really needs contact with dogs. Just being able to hold and cuddle a dog can do a lot to restore her equilibrium.

Edited December 10, 2011 by AngieW in Texas

[8filltheheart]

I tell you, all of this makes me want to cry. It's just too hard to figure out and the more I read, the more stupid I feel. At this point, I think I'm just going to stop looking at colleges and just let him work on his diploma at his own pace. When he's finished, I'll enroll him in the junior college I mentioned in another post that doesn't require the SAT, which would be a huge relief in and of itself! I would like to start him off in one campus course and a couple of online courses. All of his classes are online right now so he's used to them. It sounds like a good plan right now.

 

Oh, please, do not beat yourself up! There is a learning curve that all of us go through w/our children. At least I was blessed enough to have my oldest be normal w/o any issues!! And, our Aspie is yrs older than your ds and we still haven't figured things out!!

 

FWIW, the Compass test is simply a test offered on the CC campuses that determine course placement. All CC's use the Compass for students not having ACT/SAT scores, at least that is our experience. (our Aspie never took either the ACT/SAT) It is not a big deal. Typically students simply need to schedule an appt to go in and take it. Their score will determine whether they are placed in remedial course work or not. Once in a course, the teacher can over-ride the placement test and make a different recommendation. (for example, our Aspie hadn't done math in over 1 1/2 yrs and placed into alg 2 on the Compass test. After going to a single class, the teacher told him he had been placed in the wrong course and he contacted the placement office and told them that ds was perfectly fine for pre-cal (which is actually where he should have been.) He ended up making a 98 in that class, so the teacher was correct.)

 

Another option you might try looking into would be auditing a course. I wonder if they would allow your ds to audit a class w/o SAT testing. :confused: I don't know.

[MamaSheep]

Oh, please, do not beat yourself up! There is a learning curve that all of us go through w/our children.

...

 

Isn't THAT the truth! And about the time I think I have "it" figured out (whatever "it" happens to be at the time) it doesn't matter anymore because he's moved on to a different phase of life and "it" is now irrelevant. And of course his sister is so completely different from him that only bits and pieces of what I've learned with him even remotely applies. Sigh...

[Night Elf]

Isn't THAT the truth! And about the time I think I have "it" figured out (whatever "it" happens to be at the time) it doesn't matter anymore because he's moved on to a different phase of life and "it" is now irrelevant. And of course his sister is so completely different from him that only bits and pieces of what I've learned with him even remotely applies. Sigh...

 

It is difficult. I'm going through another phase of his diagnosis I guess. I was so frustrated when he was 4 yrs. old to 9 yrs. old because I didn't know what was going on with him. Then he was diagnosed at age 9 and I was a basketcase trying to figure out what it meant. I went from angry, to frustrated, to acceptance, then repeat cycle. Then I was okay with things from about age 10 to age 15. His quirks were just him being himself and it never phased me. But he turned 15 and became a sophmore and I realized that our time was going to go by quickly. I started worrying if I was going to have him ready to do different things after high school. I've spent the last 6 months or so feeling stressed about this. Several months ago, I watched the Temple Grandin movie and it totally freaked me out. I felt like I was being berated for not advocating enough for him. I felt guilty that I didn't do things some "right" way. What if it is too late for him? What if he really does live with me forever and never find a job? Oh, logically I know all of those concerns are just unfounded fears but my emotions override my logic every single time.

 

I just want to feel good about having an overall plan for guidance during these next few years. Oh I know I need to be flexible even with a plan, but I'm stressed with flying by the seat of my britches.

 

It doesn't help that Aspies are all over the place anyway. Trying to compare one to another is not always a great idea. We belong to an Aspie group and it's interesting to note just how different our children are. I need to focus on doing what is best for my own son, but I'm really worried that I don't know what that best is.

[MamaSheep]

It is difficult. I'm going through another phase of his diagnosis I guess. I was so frustrated when he was 4 yrs. old to 9 yrs. old because I didn't know what was going on with him. Then he was diagnosed at age 9 and I was a basketcase trying to figure out what it meant. I went from angry, to frustrated, to acceptance, then repeat cycle. Then I was okay with things from about age 10 to age 15. His quirks were just him being himself and it never phased me. But he turned 15 and became a sophmore and I realized that our time was going to go by quickly. I started worrying if I was going to have him ready to do different things after high school. I've spent the last 6 months or so feeling stressed about this. Several months ago, I watched the Temple Grandin movie and it totally freaked me out. I felt like I was being berated for not advocating enough for him. I felt guilty that I didn't do things some "right" way. What if it is too late for him? What if he really does live with me forever and never find a job? Oh, logically I know all of those concerns are just unfounded fears but my emotions override my logic every single time.

 

I just want to feel good about having an overall plan for guidance during these next few years. Oh I know I need to be flexible even with a plan, but I'm stressed with flying by the seat of my britches.

 

It doesn't help that Aspies are all over the place anyway. Trying to compare one to another is not always a great idea. We belong to an Aspie group and it's interesting to note just how different our children are. I need to focus on doing what is best for my own son, but I'm really worried that I don't know what that best is.

 

I am SO right there with you right now.

[Barbara H]

I strongly agree with the suggestion that now is the time to require him to get some different experiences to get more used to being around people. When you are worried about your child and you've seen them have trouble in various activities it can be tough to keep putting yourself out there, but it is really necessary. A few years from now you won't have the power you have right now and if his options get narrower and narrower that's not good.

 

The COMPASS test is on the computer taken at the college campus. Often it is used for placement rather than admissions. So, they may let in everyone but just use the test to decide what level courses you start with. I wouldn't rule out any college option without talking directly to a real staff person in admissions (not just a student who answers the phone).

 

Other ideas for activities:

Library reading groups or game groups

community groups for interests such as chess, computers astronomy

master gardener program http://www.ahs.org/master_gardeners/

volunteering http://www.volunteermatch.org/

mentoring from a neighbor or friend

volunteering to help neighbors or friends

part time jobs

adult education courses in any area of interest

 

I agree with you that there is no problem with graduating a year later. It isn't a race.

[Rhonda in TX]

DS is 15 and I'm not sure what the future holds for him. At this point, he wants to do something that involves CAD. I'm glad he has some sort of focus, but I'm not sure how he'll get there. He also does not do well in classroom settings. I'm hoping that he will mature enough in the next few years. It's very possible, however, that he'll need more time. I'm willing to give him all the time he needs. I'm not sure DH feels the same way.