Is there something wrong with me?

[Mommamia]

Quite frankly, yes. You are doing them a grave disservice and depriving them of a solid education if this is how your homeschool runs annually. If you cannot get your act together, you shouldn't be homeschooling. Send them somewhere else so they can get the education they deserve.

 

Wow. That was harsh:tongue_smilie:

[5LittleMonkeys]

Aime,

You said so many things that resonated with me. How I've been, where I need to go. Thanks for sharing.

 

 

 

 

 

Your welcome! I'm glad that we were all able to help you feel better and get motivated. Keep us updated as to how your doing and come back for a kick in the pants anytime you need one!:tongue_smilie:

[jenniferp8]

I am glad I did not push my kids harder when they were younger. My kids are now middle school and high school age and they have grown into incredibly self motivated and capable individuals who love to learn AND they have a solid educational foundation. When they were younger I thought I was far too lackadaisical to home school them and I worried often about what we/they should be doing. An active and engaging atmosphere for them to learn and grow provided most of what they needed. I am very pleased with the way our homeschooling has progressed. They need so much more than curriculum.

 

Would you mind elaborating a little more on what you felt the essential components of your homeschool were? What the "active and engaging" atmosphere consisted of? I think this is where I get off the path - I think I'm providing a good atmosphere and "much more than curriculum" but then look back later and realize I really did neglect the basics and now we have to play catch up.

[JenniferB]

I will go back and read the other suggestions later, but I have one to offer, which I implemented this year, and it's working beautifully so far. I take all the books that I need to teach for the day (mom intensive & read alouds) and I put them in a basket the night before. Then, in the morning when everyone is ready for school, we remove ourselves from the kitchen, family room, computer room, etc. and we go to a quiet place in the house with little distractions. That happens to be my bedroom. We sit on the bed and I just go one by one through the books until I have read aloud or discussed the lessons that need my instruction. This takes about 2 hours. There are some distractions from our 4 year old, and when the kids are not getting along perfectly, but for the most part we get a massive amount of work done in these 2 hours. Then, we go back downstairs for a lunch break. In the afternoon the kids do their independent work. I'm more like a butterfly in the afternoon - checking my e-mail, getting dinner prepped, checking the internet, looking over the kids shoulders to make sure they are handwriting or spelling correctly, helping with math, etc. That all happens from 1:00 - 2:00 or 3:00, however long I allow myself to be distracted and butterfly-ish. Then for another hour in the day from 3:00-4:00 I do one more session up in my quiet room with my 2nd grader and 3rd grader individually and I have them read aloud to me. By the end of this at 4:00 I'm already collapsed on my bed and I take a little nap before it's time to make dinner.

 

Now, I'll go back and read everyone else's suggestions. It never hurts to get suggestions on how to stay focused. I soooooo need it. All the best to you. :grouphug:

[UnsinkableKristen]

Quite frankly, yes. You are doing them a grave disservice and depriving them of a solid education if this is how your homeschool runs annually. If you cannot get your act together, you shouldn't be homeschooling. Send them somewhere else so they can get the education they deserve.

 

 

Holy Crow, did I need to hear this today!!

 

Thank you all for such great advice, I was struggling this morning feeling so overwhelmed and you have really given me a great jumping off point.

[Lolly]

Aime,

You said so many things that resonated with me. How I've been, where I need to go. Thanks for sharing.

 

 

Also, thanks to everyone who's shared advice on this thread. You've empowered me to start again. I'm going to go through my FIAR and Sonlight schedules and pick out some basic things we can do each day and if nothing else, make sure we do reading, writing and math. I think you've made me see it doesn't have to be hard and complicated (ie trying to do everything in a perfectionistic way) and I just need to make the choice to move forward and stop hanging myself with my insecurities and indecision and having guilt over what's now in the past.:banghead:

 

I don't know if my 3 olders will ever come back home. We'll see how this year goes for them and then look at our options and how well I've got it together. But for right now I can start again with my K dd and make it the best I possibly can at home for the younger 3 at least.

 

Thanks so much everyone, I feel so much better about what I have to do and what I can do. Thanks for a dose of reality and a good kick in the pants!! :tongue_smilie:

 

I have a question. Your older kids all started back to ps after homeschooling. How are they doing? Academically are they where they need to be? If so, then you haven't done them a disservice. Your methods were not doing them harm. If they are way behind, then you probably need to really look at why and make changes.

[WishboneDawn]

nm

[historically accurate]

I will go back and read the other suggestions later, but I have one to offer, which I implemented this year, and it's working beautifully so far. I take all the books that I need to teach for the day (mom intensive & read alouds) and I put them in a basket the night before. Then, in the morning when everyone is ready for school, we remove ourselves from the kitchen, family room, computer room, etc. and we go to a quiet place in the house with little distractions. That happens to be my bedroom. We sit on the bed and I just go one by one through the books until I have read aloud or discussed the lessons that need my instruction. This takes about 2 hours. There are some distractions from our 4 year old, and when the kids are not getting along perfectly, but for the most part we get a massive amount of work done in these 2 hours. Then, we go back downstairs for a lunch break. In the afternoon the kids do their independent work. I'm more like a butterfly in the afternoon - checking my e-mail, getting dinner prepped, checking the internet, looking over the kids shoulders to make sure they are handwriting or spelling correctly, helping with math, etc. That all happens from 1:00 - 2:00 or 3:00, however long I allow myself to be distracted and butterfly-ish. Then for another hour in the day from 3:00-4:00 I do one more session up in my quiet room with my 2nd grader and 3rd grader individually and I have them read aloud to me. By the end of this at 4:00 I'm already collapsed on my bed and I take a little nap before it's time to make dinner.

 

Now, I'll go back and read everyone else's suggestions. It never hurts to get suggestions on how to stay focused. I soooooo need it. All the best to you. :grouphug:

 

 

Thank you, you may have just revolutionized my homeschool! That is an awesome idea. The kids are off to Awanas tonight, so I'm going to gather tomorrow's books.

[WishboneDawn]

Wow. That was harsh:tongue_smilie:

 

But sometimes we need that otherwise we're hugged and supported right back into the same rut we always occupy.

 

I know I've needed the kick in pants at times.

[annandatje]

Honest, and sick to death of people offering solace to those who shortchange their children by their lackadaisical attitudes and behaviors.

 

:iagree:

[momma aimee]

i try to keep on task with the simple fact if I am not disciplened my children never will be.

 

there is a big difference in taking a rare day off because a relative is visiting from many states off -- and I'd pull them that day or 2 even if they vent to pubic school -- vs "oh it is such a sunny day, no school"

 

if we allow the kids to continually slack off -- they'll never learn anything else.

 

is it all depend on does the OP feel they are accomplishing nothing, or are they really accomplishing nothing? we all have days we feel we are treading water but looking back 'wow we did accomplish a lot' -- seeing the forest for the tress so to say -- but you have to be realistc about what is getting done

 

I know homeschoolers that 'don't worry about it; we are home schooling for the long haul, it will all even out when _______ (DC reads better, is more mature, is not tired from dance ....)". I tend to take the "what if" line of thought -- if I died this weekend DH would have no option but put the boys in school, would they be ready? I don't think there is any good to be done for our children by failing to hold them and ourselves to the highest standards

[Mommamia]

I may have missed it, but were the ages of the OP's children ever mentioned? I got the impression that her dc were little.

Edited September 28, 2011 by mom2littleboys

[momma aimee]

But sometimes we need that otherwise we're hugged and supported right back into the same rut we always occupy.

 

I know I've needed the kick in pants at times.

:iagree:

 

no one i know is here to be coddled -- we all homeschool because it is best for our children -- if it is NOT best and we are not giving it and them our best -- then why are they home???

 

if I am not sure i am doing a better job then the local kindy teacher (who is very nice and good) then why am i schooling at home?

 

we all need to be challanged and held accountable

[WishboneDawn]

:iagree:

 

no one i know is here to be coddled -- we all homeschool because it is best for our children -- if it is NOT best and we are not giving it and them our best -- then why are they home???

 

if I am not sure i am doing a better job then the local kindy teacher (who is very nice and good) then why am i schooling at home?

 

we all need to be challanged and held accountable

 

Every other hsing board I've been on is very heavy on support but not so much on the accountability.

 

There's a reason this is my primary forum now. :D

[Ria]

Every other hsing board I've been on is very heavy on support but not so much on the accountability.

 

There's a reason this is my primary forum now. :D

 

Yeah, well, some of us pay the price for that.

 

:(

 

It's ok, really. I LOVE homeschooling....done with responsibility. And now I'm out of this discussion. :)

[jenniferp8]

I have a question. Your older kids all started back to ps after homeschooling. How are they doing? Academically are they where they need to be? If so, then you haven't done them a disservice. Your methods were not doing them harm. If they are way behind, then you probably need to really look at why and make changes.

 

Yes, my oldest 3 started back at a local charter school after 4 years of hs. And overall they are adjusting quite well. I'm pleased at how well ds 12 (7th grade) and dd 11 (6th grade) have acclimated themselves to the math programs (this school teaches 1 year above grade level as well) there. After 4 years of homeschooling and not using a formal math program (just a little bit here and there that had to do with various projects they were working on) they have caught up fast and are A students so far. I've heard of studies that say once kids hit puberty they can do an elementary math curriculum in a matter of a few months. I can see how that is true, there is so much repetition in elem school.

 

They are probably a little behind in writing/grammar but they are catching on and doing fine.

 

Ds 9 (3rd grade) is behind in reading but that is mostly due to some eye tracking problems we discovered last Feb. After some therapy he has made huge improvements between now and then and a couple weeks before school started it all began to click. He is probably on a 2nd grade reading level right now (compared to K last Feb). His handwriting isn't beautiful and his spelling is atrocious which makes it hard as they are supposedly doing 4th grade level spelling words but I don't worry so much about that. I think spelling comes with a lot more reading experience. The school uses WRTR so the kids learn phonograms and do their spelling program. It will come. Other than that, he has adjusted very well after having homeschooled since the beginning.

 

So no, they aren't spouting off amazing facts and appearing as these homeschooled child prodigies but they are adjusting very well and definitely have a great foundation of good character. (I hear stories from them about the things "other kids do" that they point out to me like they can't believe anyone would act that way...)

 

I know that they hate that "school" takes up so much of their day between classes and homework. I regret that they have less (read: virtually NO) time for the things/projects they are interested in studying too but now they are learning more about "certain things just have to be done first" and being independent and accountable for your own work/time schedule so that is a good thing. I wasn't doing as much as I should have to teach that and plan to do those things differently with the youngers.

[Annie Laurie]

:001_smile:

 

While I believe that consistency and a bit of hard work are important, NOT using a comprehensive curriculum that "connects all the dots" doesn't mean your children aren't learning.

 

If you're covering the basic 3 R's consistently and adding some other topics that are history, science, art, music, language, enrichment related, you're probably NOT doing a poor job.

 

As I've said on many other threads, the overall educational environment in your home is more important than what curriculum you may or may not be using. Do your kiddos read independently and/or get read to? Are they writing something frequently? Are they consistently learning math topics? Are they developing interests/hobbies that aren't screen (TV/computer/video game) related? Do they have access to a library, museum, theater, or activities that encourage intellectual stimulation?

 

My advice, particularly if your kids are little (less than 10), is to pound away at the 3R's and treat the other stuff as enrichment. Keep your kids away from screens for long periods of time. Encourage reading and any other productive activity. Lead by example by setting aside time for your own intellectual pursuits. Set up a simple, manageable schedule and stay away from complex programs if you know you're not able to use them.

 

Great, common sense post. Thanks!

[Lolly]

Yes, my oldest 3 started back at a local charter school after 4 years of hs. And overall they are adjusting quite well. I'm pleased at how well ds 12 (7th grade) and dd 11 (6th grade) have acclimated themselves to the math programs (this school teaches 1 year above grade level as well) there. After 4 years of homeschooling and not using a formal math program (just a little bit here and there that had to do with various projects they were working on) they have caught up fast and are A students so far. I've heard of studies that say once kids hit puberty they can do an elementary math curriculum in a matter of a few months. I can see how that is true, there is so much repetition in elem school.

 

They are probably a little behind in writing/grammar but they are catching on and doing fine.

 

Ds 9 (3rd grade) is behind in reading but that is mostly due to some eye tracking problems we discovered last Feb. After some therapy he has made huge improvements between now and then and a couple weeks before school started it all began to click. He is probably on a 2nd grade reading level right now (compared to K last Feb). His handwriting isn't beautiful and his spelling is atrocious which makes it hard as they are supposedly doing 4th grade level spelling words but I don't worry so much about that. I think spelling comes with a lot more reading experience. The school uses WRTR so the kids learn phonograms and do their spelling program. It will come. Other than that, he has adjusted very well after having homeschooled since the beginning.

 

So no, they aren't spouting off amazing facts and appearing as these homeschooled child prodigies but they are adjusting very well and definitely have a great foundation of good character. (I hear stories from them about the things "other kids do" that they point out to me like they can't believe anyone would act that way...)

 

I know that they hate that "school" takes up so much of their day between classes and homework. I regret that they have less (read: virtually NO) time for the things/projects they are interested in studying too but now they are learning more about "certain things just have to be done first" and being independent and accountable for your own work/time schedule so that is a good thing. I wasn't doing as much as I should have to teach that and plan to do those things differently with the youngers.

 

It sounds to me like you did just fine. I have found that my kids have learned the independent/accountable work as they have reached high school. I think it is very normal for homeschooled kids to be a little "behind" in that area just from the circumstances of homeschooling. Hey, we can keep up with them better. (I think ps teachers wish that they could!) I give you a big pat on the back for doing such an excellent job with them! If they had been done a disservice, you would most certainly have been able to tell when they entered school. It sounds to me like just normal adjustments. (Well, maybe work a little more on math at some point.;))

[jenniferp8]

It sounds to me like you did just fine. I have found that my kids have learned the independent/accountable work as they have reached high school. I think it is very normal for homeschooled kids to be a little "behind" in that area just from the circumstances of homeschooling. Hey, we can keep up with them better. (I think ps teachers wish that they could!) I give you a big pat on the back for doing such an excellent job with them! If they had been done a disservice, you would most certainly have been able to tell when they entered school. It sounds to me like just normal adjustments. (Well, maybe work a little more on math at some point.;))

 

Thanks. I do need to work more on math (and other basics) at home :). Seems like when we begin something new we swing back and forth between both extremes a (from strict ps at home on one side to unschooling on the other) little before we finally find our comfort zone and what works for us and our kids. It's just taken me too long to find a happy middle ground and realize that it's OK to require certain things (be tough and just have them do it) and OK to let them go off on their own on others (don't worry about cramming everything in).