Question for Catholic moms

[WeeBeaks]

If you do CCD at the church (as opposed to homeschooling it or private Catholic school) and have more than one child, are you required to attend a bunch of meetings/training for EACH child or only for the first? Or some other combination. Just curious.

 

I guess the same could be asked of baptism - baptism prep classes required for every child or only the first?

 

I'm wondering if my parish is the norm or odd. I joined the Catholic church as an adult so never took CCD or experienced it except now as a mom.

 

Here I would have to take about 8 hours of classes (2 hours a piece x 4 meetings) for the first two 1st communion prep kids, and a free ride thereafter. :confused: I did it once already . My boys are only 3 years apart so this was recent. LOL

 

Since I'm asking and being nosy, I'll go ahead and ask if you found it interesting. We watched videos that seemed to be produced in the 1980s, were dreadfully boring, and sat there wishing we were anywhere else on the planet.

[Moxie]

If you do CCD at the church (as opposed to homeschooling it or private Catholic school) and have more than one child, are you required to attend a bunch of meetings/training for EACH child or only for the first? Or some other combination. Just curious.

 

I guess the same could be asked of baptism - baptism prep classes required for every child or only the first?

 

I'm wondering if my parish is the norm or odd. I joined the Catholic church as an adult so never took CCD or experienced it except now as a mom.

 

Here I would have to take about 8 hours of classes (2 hours a piece x 4 meetings) for the first two 1st communion prep kids, and a free ride thereafter. :confused: I did it once already . My boys are only 3 years apart so this was recent. LOL

 

Since I'm asking and being nosy, I'll go ahead and ask if you found it interesting. We watched videos that seemed to be produced in the 1980s, were dreadfully boring, and sat there wishing we were anywhere else on the planet.

 

You're a convert so you probably don't know; CCD is all about giving parents something to offer up to get out of Purgatory! It is designed to be torture so you get to Heaven! Shh, don't tell anyone else or they might not convert ;).

 

We had to go to all the meetings and "faith sharing" events (like a meeting but with less leadership and more hugging) for the first child. After that, we have been allowed out. Plus, it helps that I teach CCD so I know our DRE really well.

[WeeBeaks]

You're a convert so you probably don't know; CCD is all about giving parents something to offer up to get out of Purgatory! It is designed to be torture so you get to Heaven! Shh, don't tell anyone else or they might not convert ;).

 

 

Well, that explains it then!

 

Despite not being Catholic, I was sent to 8 years of Catholic schooling. But it was actually interesting to me for the most part. I have never in my life seen such dreadfully dull material. [The kids had to watch the same video we did.] :001_huh:

[mommylaw]

Those who are active members in the parish, attend every week and make a regular donation ($1 or more), are required to attend the meetings/training only for the first child.

 

Everyone else is required to attend for each kiddo. Our parish is really cracking down on allowing sacramental prep for families who don't attend weekly.

[anne1456]

The parishes I have belonged to always seem to see sacramental prep as a way to reach adults who have fallen away from the faith. Our 1st communion prep was very much geared towards the adults, and why they should be bringing their children to church regularly. It sounds like the videos your church is using are poorly chosen, so it probably won't have the desired effect, but that is probably the underlying reason.

[Brigitte]

In our parish, the DRE and the priest do the parent meetings. The are generally helpful discussions on what the parent's roll is in his child's receiving of the sacraments. Our priest makes it interesting and thought provoking. Only one parent is required to attend, so parents could conceivably trade off that duty. Perhaps you can suggest another format to your DRE? The videos might be keeping people away. :tongue_smilie:

[chiguirre]

We're required to attend sacramental prep for each child. They let me off the hook for a second viewing of a very boring amateur video tape of our parish's Monsignor droning on for 2 hours about First Reconciliation because I'd seen it the year before. Other than that, you have to do all 4 meetings every time. You also have to do the Baptism class every time you have a child or you're a godparent.

[WeeBeaks]

Interesting.

 

We actually do go each week to mass. But you are correct they are trying to reach the parents, or so it appears. But the people who are bringing their kids to CCD are the same parents I see week in and week out in the pews. If I didn't already go, I would be very very put off by these requirements. And, BTW, BOTH parents are required to attend these meetings, so we get to pay for childcare on top of it.

 

At this point, we are at least changing parishes, and may in fact be leaving the faith altogether. We are just exhausted and can't stand any more. My DH decided in the past year that he is atheist (he has been Catholic since birth). I converted as an adult and will likely keep my faith, but perhaps will not be attending mass, baptizing our children or doing any more CCD.

 

[it's not just this by the way. This is just the last straw it feels.]

[ElizaG]

Other than that, you have to do all 4 meetings every time. You also have to do the Baptism class every time you have a child or you're a godparent.

Technically, this is the rule at our parish as well. In my experience, though, if you know the priest and are active in parish life, it's usually possible to get around most of the requirements by talking to him directly. (Godparents who belong to a different parish can send a letter of reference from their own pastor.) But maybe all priests aren't this flexible and reasonable about their policies.

 

WeeBeaks, I'm sorry to hear about your difficulties. I'll be praying for you and your DH. :grouphug:

[eternalknot]

I'm not Christian, but agreed to raise my kids Catholic for my MIL's peace of mind and sanity. I had to attend a pre-baptism meeting (individual, with the parish priest who would be performing it) which felt more like a FAQ for what I was signing up for (which was appreciated, they wanted me to know the commitment it would be) but I thought that was because I wasn't Catholic. My husband was deployed with the first kid, so he didn't join me at that meeting. I didn't have to do anything else for the subsequent baptism. I don't know if it mattered that this was all at the parish my husband had grown up in, so they knew my inlaws very well (they're very active in the church).

 

Then we did second grade sacraments in a different state. Again with the deployed husband, I was required to attend one 4-hour meeting for the Reconciliation and a second 4-hour meeting for the First Communion. Only one parent needed to attend, and it was mandatory for all parents seeking sacraments. They only offered these meetings once per year, which was super convenient ::sigh:: I travel for work, and their dad was gone so my eldest had to delay his sacraments for several months until I could attend the required meetings.

 

I'm not vested in the faith, so yes -to me- it does seem a bit like a PITA to be jumping through all of these hoops, and I'd sooner not. I'm good for my word, though, and my kids really feel at home in the Catholic church so I'd never do anything to jeopardize that -especially at their young ages. When he heard about his delayed First Communion, my eldest said: "They want to make sure you REALLY REALLY want it so they make it a challenge!" in this totally great tone of voice, and I'm like, that's fabulous you believe that (I really think it is) but man ... you're a better person than I am because I'm all kinds of ticked off :blush:. His catechism must be working somewhere ;) :)

[Teachin'Mine]

Praying for you and your husband too Tanya. :grouphug:

 

You may want to ask your pastor for an exemption from the parent classes.

[Serenade]

My boys were both baptized in the Catholic Church, but I believe we only had to have one meeting with the priest for the first child. We also had our kids baptized outside of a regular Mass, in a private ceremony, although I realize this isn't common anymore. I am lapsed now, I guess, so my boys have never made their 1st communion, and I guess at this point it would be rather complicated and difficult.

 

When I was a kid, I took communion and confirmation classes, and my parents never had to attend any meetings, although they were regular attendees at Mass. I guess I have to question why things are so formalized and complicated today.

[ElizaG]

When I was a kid, I took communion and confirmation classes, and my parents never had to attend any meetings, although they were regular attendees at Mass. I guess I have to question why things are so formalized and complicated today.

Mainly because there are so many people these days who show up for the major events that involve a fancy white dress (marriage, baptism, first communion), but are otherwise pretty much uninvolved in their faith. As a priest we know puts it, they expect the Church to function like a "sacrament dispenser."

 

Faith formation is primarily the parents' responsibility. The pastor has an obligation to take some steps to make sure that the things they're teaching in sacramental preparation classes are being supported in the home. It would be great if they could do this without requiring the parents to sit through repetitive lectures or dull old movies, though. (We didn't have any movies in our baptism classes, but did have to endure one during marriage preparation. The projector was broken, so the picture and sound were all wonky on top of everything else. It was somewhat nightmarish. :D)

[LucyStoner]

Here there is a shorter, refresher type course for second time parents. The classes are actually really meaningful and personal. No old videos (or any videos) and taught by the best deacon I have ever met, with help from inspiring parishioners. I did not mind attending at all.

[asta]

Have you thought to ask the advisor if they have an advisory board that talks about CCD, baptisms, 1st communion, etc. and if it allows non-board members to attend and/or is looking for input?

 

Sometimes, parishes are begging for someone to come in and simply say "you know, this stuff is so out of date, it is really turning people off - if we offered a more up to date program, I bet we could really bring 'em in". In addition to that, you could add in your bit about - "hey, wouldn't it be great if we had the main program for 1st kids and a refresher for subsequent kids?"

 

My most recent priest just had to go toe to toe with his administration to get our CCD program revamped. He wanted it switched to the "Faith and Life" series (the kid program which leads to the teen Didache series). The admin guy, who isn't even Catholic, was completely stuck on a horrible, outdated program that both the kids and the parents hated. The parish was losing folks in droves. It wasn't even like he was asking for something "new" - it was the "required time" to buy new curricula!

 

Look at it as a case of "you never know what you can get until you ask".

 

 

asta

 

ETA: These are the kind of things I'm talking about:

 

Your Baby's Baptism

 

A Child's First Communion

 

A Biblical Walk Through the Mass This is the new liturgy and has both a parent and student pak

 

Does the Church Still Teach That? (this one is actually long - but it looked interesting :p )

[Tigger]

To get married, we had pre-cana which was about eight hours total.

 

With DS, we had to attend a Baptism session that was two-hours, held for parents having babies Baptized in the coming months.

 

DS is now in First Holy Communion CCD, so we have a few parent things to go to - first (already done) was a parents meeting to go through what we need to do at home throughout the year to help DS prepare (1-hour), next month I'll go through the steps of Reconciliation with him at the church one evening (1.5-hours). In November he'll have Reconciliation at a special mass for the kids (1.5-hours). In December we'll have a parents meeting for Communion again (2-hours), another in March (1-hour), a practice session with parents in April (1.5-hours), then First Communion in May.

 

I still have to get the baby baptized and with godparents on both coasts, getting everyone here is difficult, so we'll wait until May to do that with DS's First Communion since that will get everyone in for the same weekend. Since it's been more than three years since we had a child baptized, we need to attend a baptism class again, so that's 2-hours.

[Parrothead]

I got lucky. Dd was baptized in a very small parish. There weren't prep classes. Then when she went through sacrament training I was the (equivalent of) DRE. While I had to be there, it was my job to be there. It puts things in a different perspective than having to take time out of my busy schedule to attend useless meetings.

[WeeBeaks]

Thank you for your perspectives. We have a brand new DRE this year. I suppose perhaps the meetings might be better. I don't know yet. My first impressions of her via VBS and first meetings are not good at all.

 

A friend sent me our diocese documents, including the parent about allowing parents to homeschool CCD. I may just go that route. But a larger problem feels the parish home that is not one, not supportive, not interested, formal, and a box checker. It raises the ire of this homeschooling parent, yk? If I feel I can do something better myself I have and do. :D I already do devotions every morning and teaching anywhere. It is probably not a big deal to just get Faith and Life or some other formal text and just do it at home. Catholicism has at its foundation community though so I have resisted this. Catholicism is not a quiet study at home alone type of religion. I know many people who are religious and appear to have a very deep and abiding relationship with God outside any formal religion. Catholicism is not set up that way though.

 

I did note that 3 years ago when 1st DS was going through this his class was 20+. Now that 2nd DS is going there his class is 5 kids. The kids are just disappearing from the program at all levels. There is clearly something wrong. Unless all those kids go to the parish school now, in which case they don't need CCD. However, given the school has huge banners of opening in all classes and no wait lists anymore, I'm doubting that is the case. The parish we are considering has two classes of 20+ for each level, so that may be a strong indicator of a better program.

 

Again, thank you all for your input. It doesn't change my situation but it helps to know what is experienced in other parishes should I decide to move or just push for some change here, or just homeschool it.