Ginevra Posted September 25, 2011 Share Posted September 25, 2011 I understand. It's not so much that I want them to disallow it, I would never say that. And again, if and when I am pregnant again, I know that I will want to talk about it, too. I do think it would be nice for the pre-schooling years from pregnancy through preschool to have it's own "home" so to speak. It seems too far off the purpose of these boards to me. The great majority of pregnant women on this board already have school-aged children. If I were pregnant, a "pre-homeschooling" board is not where I would want to post, because my pregnancy would be intertwined with my homeschooling. What if someone had a question, for example, like, "How can I homeschool my 3 older kids while I'm on bedrest," or "Baby's sleepless nights are throwing off our schooling time!" It seems to me that mothers who expect to homeschool in the future, but currently only have babies and/or preschoolers don't make up enough people for it's own forum. And it wouldn't make sense to direct mothers who are homeschooling, though are pregnant also, to a board like that where they cannot access others in their life stage. Though I completely and totally sympathize with how those threads cause you pain, the same could be said for people with other sorrows in their lives. One poster may post what an irksome pain her mom is being, while another member is grieving a mother's death. One poster may say her dh is totally unsupportive, while another member's dh left, or is overseas, or died. See what I mean? I really think the best solution for any of us is to stay out of threads that are bound to cause pain or stir up hurt. That's why I have my little comment at the end of my signature line. :D I was being silly, but not completely; it's also a reminder to myself that there are some threads it's best not for me to ever read or at least, not comment on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meriwether Posted September 25, 2011 Share Posted September 25, 2011 I'm a person who still hasn't come to complete and total peace about the fact that I cannot have anymore children. DH had a vasectomy about 12 years ago. He decided he was finished and declared that he could do what he wanted with his body. Well, that didn't go over well with me and frankly, I'm still a little bitter. I'm trying and trying and trying to come to terms with it. That is the only hiccup in my relationship. I honestly think about this every single day. Really. But I stopped sharing my thoughts with him a very long time ago. It just did nothing but antagonize the situation. I try to stay away from pregnancy and baby threads. While I'm always happy for the new parents, it makes my a part of my soul ache. I am okay with those threads here. These people are happy and want to share their happiness. I just don't open the threads and have to force my eyes to scan quickly over the titles. It's my problem, not their problem. :grouphug: I have a Dh who is really wonderful in most things but has several times in our marriage done big things that impact our lives in ways I did not want. And, of course, I was hurting our marriage by being bitter about it. :glare: I've let go of most of the bitterness. Dh has decided we are done with kids, too, but he hasn't done anything about it. In fact, I took a negative test (sloppy bc) right before I got on the boards a few days ago and saw all the prenancy threads. I did get off the boards right away, but I am truly happy for all the expecting moms. Almost every topic is pleasing to some people and hard for others. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WishboneDawn Posted September 25, 2011 Share Posted September 25, 2011 I'm sorry. I kind of feel like a jerk even saying it. I really don't blame anyone for posting about their pregnancies. If I were still pregnant, I would, too. If and when I get pregnant again, I am sure I will again. But after having to end an ectopic pregnancy this summer, that I REALLY wanted, and just reaching the point where I can try again but worrying about how it will go due to my age, this past m/c and so on, it's still hard for me to read all the threads about pregnancy and doctor appointments and baby names and symptoms and so on. It seems like there are tons of them here lately. Or maybe I just notice them more now. I kind of wish there was a separate board here on this forum for discussing pregnancy and infancy and even toddlerhood- all the "pre-homeschooling" stages so to speak. Then I could go there when I was excited to do so, and could avoid it during the time when it's just, well, kind of hurtful. Or irrelevant to me. Or whatever. I hope this doesn't offend anyone. Again, I REALLY don't mean that people shouldn't post about these things. I'm just feeling kind of down, I guess. Other family stresses currently going on in my life don't help. Anyone else in the same boat? No offense taken. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WishboneDawn Posted September 25, 2011 Share Posted September 25, 2011 (edited) :grouphug: I'm sorry. I understand. It's not those threads that have bothered me lately, it's another subject (not telling). I've had to just stay away for a few days here and there. If it has to do with a certain thread I started, I apologize. :grouphug: Edited September 25, 2011 by WishboneDawn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted September 25, 2011 Share Posted September 25, 2011 I'm sorry. I kind of feel like a jerk even saying it. I really don't blame anyone for posting about their pregnancies. If I were still pregnant, I would, too. If and when I get pregnant again, I am sure I will again. But after having to end an ectopic pregnancy this summer, that I REALLY wanted, and just reaching the point where I can try again but worrying about how it will go due to my age, this past m/c and so on, it's still hard for me to read all the threads about pregnancy and doctor appointments and baby names and symptoms and so on. It seems like there are tons of them here lately. Or maybe I just notice them more now. I kind of wish there was a separate board here on this forum for discussing pregnancy and infancy and even toddlerhood- all the "pre-homeschooling" stages so to speak. Then I could go there when I was excited to do so, and could avoid it during the time when it's just, well, kind of hurtful. Or irrelevant to me. Or whatever. I hope this doesn't offend anyone. Again, I REALLY don't mean that people shouldn't post about these things. I'm just feeling kind of down, I guess. Other family stresses currently going on in my life don't help. Anyone else in the same boat? Not pregnant, but not offended. There are days that I'm bitter that people can have multiple healthy children while my son is confined to a wheelchair and has no hope for a normal lifespan. Some days it amplifies the pain to know that other people can live entire, charmed lives and never feel that earth-stopping ache that divides your life into Before and After. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2scouts Posted September 25, 2011 Share Posted September 25, 2011 Yes, I lost many babies to stillbirth and miscarriage and while it's not so sensitive anymore, sometimes it's a bit much to have pregnancy threads on every page. We won't be having anymore children, but there will always be that pang.:( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jennsmile Posted September 25, 2011 Share Posted September 25, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug: I know there are times when those threads would have offended me as well. Keep in mind that some of us that are currently rejoicing in pregnancy have fought infertility and miscarriage along the way. We don't mean to hurt others feelings as we are sensitive to the other side. If they bother you then don't read the ones that say pregnancy in the title. Jenn mom to 3 miscarried angels Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Green Vixen Posted September 25, 2011 Share Posted September 25, 2011 I'm so sorry for all of you who have had losses :grouphug:!!! I struggled with infertility and high risk pregnancies where the fate of my babies was a daily question :-( Even now 3 years later, anytime I see a post about bed-rest, twins, or preemies I can feel my heart start to race and it's hard to breath. Just writing this brings back a flood of emotions. Be gentle with yourself and honor the loss you had. It was real and you have every right to be upset! If the pain continues and becomes overwhelming please get yourself some help. It is nothing to be ashamed of and I think we as a society diminish the heartbreak of early losses. Gentle hugs, Marisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommymilkies Posted September 25, 2011 Share Posted September 25, 2011 I do, too. On the one hand, I am extremely grateful for my 5. I was told I would never be able to have children over a decade ago. But dh is done and got the V. I feel it's too early and unfair. But it's his decision. That doesn't mean I don't cry when I think about pregnancy or when Amazon recommends newborn things to me. I do think a baby/early ed forum would be good, but it's impossible to avoid all things related elsewhere on here. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aelwydd Posted September 25, 2011 Share Posted September 25, 2011 Not pregnant, but not offended. There are days that I'm bitter that people can have multiple healthy children while my son is confined to a wheelchair and has no hope for a normal lifespan. Some days it amplifies the pain to know that other people can live entire, charmed lives and never feel that earth-stopping ache that divides your life into Before and After. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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