Temple Grandin movie and autistic children

[Night Elf]

It was good, but I don't get all the hoopla. I think her story is absolutely fantastic and I am absolutely thrilled for her that she has gotten to where she is today. But as the credits rolled, all I could think was that the movie implied that all autistics could be as successful if they only had supportive adults in their lives. It's just so ironic considering how horrid things were in the beginning for her when the psych community still believed in the refrigerator mother philosophy. But I have certainly done everything I think is best for my son and he just isn't very similar to her. So does this mean I haven't done enough?

 

Ds15, with Aspergers, watched it with me and his two sisters. After the movie, ds said the only thing he had in common with her was how she felt in social situations. My son is a bright guy. He is considered 'gifted' because of some IQ test that says he is. Some of his schoolwork has come easily but boy the rest is horrible. I wish the movie had focused a bit more on how she managed to get through those rough bits. She obviously didn't have a problem with writing considering she got through 3 college degrees. They said her trouble was with language and math, things that were abstract. My son is the other way around, well I don't know about the foreign language thing yet. He's never tried. Writing is SO HARD for him. He's already telling me he doesn't think he can survive college and I am silently agreeing while outwardly continuing to encourage him. At the pace he does assignments, he won't be able to keep up with a 15-week deadline in colleges.

 

Anyway, it was a lovely story for her. But it just seemed so unrealistic in my son's world. We've heard before that autism can be a gift, but I don't think it is always a good gift. I guess if my son had some brilliant talent like that, things would be different. But he doesn't. So what does that make him? An unsuccessful autistic? Ugh, I just wish I hadn't watched that movie.

[kalanamak]

Ugh, I just wish I hadn't watched that movie.

 

to play the devil's advocate: should a high school track runner not watch Chariots of Fire because s/he won't be going to the Olympics? Movies and books are often about exceptional people and events. That doesn't weaken me.

 

:grouphug: Just a thought.

[BamaTanya]

I thought my ds might be interested in the movie when we watched it, but I was wrong. He isn't interested enough in other people's perspectives to appreciate it played out in a movie. He lives for the History and Science Channels, though.

My older Aspie is 15, too, and I seriously don't know if we'll make it through high school. He hates to write ANYTHING. It's like he's allergic to writing implements and has to put them down after 30 seconds. And this is AFTER the occupational therapy he got in school. :tongue_smilie:

I wrack my brain trying to think of what life will be like for him as an adult and I get :confused:. He so so smart in some ways but he will not conform and he won't do anything he's not interested in doing.

Sorry I'm no help.

I am hopeful we'll figure out something as time goes by . . . but so far: Nuttin'.

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[Tap]

I don't think the movie was about 'how to succeed' if you have Autism/Aspergers. I don't think it was meant to make anyone think "do this and your child can succeed too'.

 

The strenth of the movie to me was giving a visual to people what it can be like inside the mind of someone with the diagnosis. I think it was just a way of showing people a few major concepts that are common with A/A. It showed how what some people think of as a weakness, can be a strength in a different way.

[Night Elf]

Oh thank you. I sat here and wrote out responses to each of you but they all sounded so negative!

 

I'm not upset that he doesn't have a brilliant talent really. I'm basically freaking out at the idea of just normal, run of the mill, day to day living. It was easier when he was younger and the problems we faced didn't seem insurmountable. He's a young man now and it won't be long before he'll be of age where his peers are going out into the world and doing their thing. He gets upset just thinking about that.

 

I'm tired of being accused of being overprotective, getting pats on the head, and being told that the only way he'll learn is to drop him in and let him sink or swim. Am I really being overprotective when I think that idea is just plain abusive and stupid?

[seraphina]

I feel your pain. My ds (13) is an aspie. Movies like this aren't my reality. While my son is an intelligent kid and a great skateboarder he is not a savant and so many people have this false idea that most people on the spectrum are. I actually have people tell me that if I expect more out of him and stop being so overprotective he will "grow out of it". Argh!!! I don't want my son to sink or swim just because of luck, I want him to get the assistance he needs. Especially from his parents. Anyhow :grouphug:.

[pdalley]

I don't think the movie was about 'how to succeed' if you have Autism/Aspergers. I don't think it was meant to make anyone think "do this and your child can succeed too'.

 

The strenth of the movie to me was giving a visual to people what it can be like inside the mind of someone with the diagnosis. I think it was just a way of showing people a few major concepts that are common with A/A. It showed how what some people think of as a weakness, can be a strength in a different way.

 

 

If you read Temple's books you find that she is VERY heavy on the 'this is what autism looks like for me but all of us are different'. That's one of the things I love about her.

 

I really didn't get the same message you did from the movie. What I took was that having a mother who was a fierce advocate and an aunt who also helped her learn to blend in and the teacher who took under his wing really helped Temple learn to hone in on her particular talent.

 

The thing I really loved about the movie was the way you got a peek into the way she thinks. Now my oldest does not think like her nor does my middle. My youngest - I believe - sees the world as she does with the angles and lengths and measurements and things.

 

Her books are well worth reading because she is very clear that all autistic people are different and have different symptoms. That probably didn't come across as well in the movie.

 

And no, you are not being overprotective. I fully believe that those on the spectrum mature at a slower rate than 'normal' and they should be allowed to wade in and NEVER be thrown in to sink or swim. I can tell you mine will sink like stone if I were to do that.

 

Smile and nod through clenched teeth at those who think you are overprotective. They don't know your child and don't know what's best. You do.

[Tap]

If you read Temple's books you find that she is VERY heavy on the 'this is what autism looks like for me but all of us are different'. That's one of the things I love about her.

 

I really didn't get the same message you did from the movie. What I took was that having a mother who was a fierce advocate and an aunt who also helped her learn to blend in and the teacher who took under his wing really helped Temple learn to hone in on her particular talent.

 

The thing I really loved about the movie was the way you got a peek into the way she thinks. Now my oldest does not think like her nor does my middle. My youngest - I believe - sees the world as she does with the angles and lengths and measurements and things.

 

Her books are well worth reading because she is very clear that all autistic people are different and have different symptoms. That probably didn't come across as well in the movie.

 

And no, you are not being overprotective. I fully believe that those on the spectrum mature at a slower rate than 'normal' and they should be allowed to wade in and NEVER be thrown in to sink or swim. I can tell you mine will sink like stone if I were to do that.

 

Smile and nod through clenched teeth at those who think you are overprotective. They don't know your child and don't know what's best. You do.

 

I live the life of the mother....dd4 is PDD-NOS and while I don't have to fight the same way as the mother did, I do have to advocate and take dd4 to therapy and push for her needs to be met. I did see that part of the story line, but since I am so used to that part....I guess what stuck with me was Temple's point of view.

 

I see things in myself and ds16 that are very much on the spectrum. To have it played out visually for me to show dh and to share with others, was were the big impact was for me.

[rafiki]

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[ccm]

It was good, but I don't get all the hoopla. I think her story is absolutely fantastic and I am absolutely thrilled for her that she has gotten to where she is today. But as the credits rolled, all I could think was that the movie implied that all autistics could be as successful if they only had supportive adults in their lives.

 

I watched the movie for the first time last night and I had the same feeling. :grouphug:

[Tap]

But as the credits rolled, all I could think was that the movie implied that all autistics could be as successful if they only had supportive adults in their lives.

 

 

I am curious what makes you feel this way about the film. It was just about her personal life...not a generalized film about autistics. I don't mean this in a derogatory way, I am seriously wondering if there was a part of the film that I missed in regards to this. (I tend to do other things while I watch movies, so I miss parts sometimes). I do recommend the film to others and would like to let them know about other peoples interpretations of it.

 

Were there other autistic people in the film?

[Night Elf]

I am curious what makes you feel this way about the film. It was just about her personal life...not a generalized film about autistics.

 

Hmm.. I don't know. I guess it was just my perception of the overall tone. I understand the movie was about her personally, but the parts where her mom advocated and pushed her just gave me the sense that they were showing all one has to do is advocate and push the child so the child will do well. During the movie, I kept asking myself how did this mom know what to do? Reading books hasn't help me. Professionals haven't help me. I feel like I've never known what questions to ask.

 

Seriously, the advice I've gotten over the years is that I'm personally responsible for my son, and the things I've chosen to do for him are what is holding him back from being more adaptive to general society. Professionals that have told me that are 2 psychologists, 1 psychiatrist, and an autism specialist at an autism center. With that many college degrees in my face, I really am intimidated by their expertise and am starting to see myself as the bad guy. But then I talk with my son and I work with him on schoolwork and I just don't see what they do. It's very disconcerting actually. I sometimes wish my son had some absolutely brilliant talent because then people would focus on that and see him as "special". By that term, I don't mean more special than other people, but having an impressive aspect despite the rest of his behaviors as looking odd. Instead, people focus on my son looking normal and having a high IQ test (toward the lower end of the official gifted range) and see any oddness as being a weakness that could have been corrected with the proper advocating and pushing.

 

These days I'm feeling quite inadequate. :( He's 15 and I can't turn the clock back. I don't think I advocated enough. I don't think I pushed enough. And now he just seems too old for any assistance. Every resource I've tried is geared toward young boys, not teenagers. I haven't yet contacted the Emory University Autism Center. Truly, I'm scared of doing so. I don't know what to say to them. I don't know what help to tell them I need. I feel like I'm going to babble like an idiot. And more importantly, I fear they are going to tell me there are no resources for teens. It feels like it will be the last door to close in my face. I'm being a great big coward right now.