mo2 Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 What are your household rules regarding sharing among siblings? (We have issues, and husband and I are at odds on how to handle them.) Do kids have to share ALL their possessions? What about toys they have purchased for themselves with their own money? Toys that could be easily broken by a younger sibling? And, a slightly different question: Are your kids allowed to not permit their siblings to enter their bedrooms? (Ok, that sentence does not sound right, but I can't figure out how to rephrase it.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 toys purchased with own money do not need to be shared. special toys (AG doll, big lego model, whatever fits this situ in your house) do not need to be shared toys that can be broken or are inappropriate based on age do not need to be shared with younger sib. toys that have been around a while, ordinary lego sets, board games, cheaper toys that are not brand new could be shared, particularly if they are left or stored in public area of house. toys not shared should not be stored in public area. older dc should not have to let younger siblings have unlimited access to their rooms or space within room if shared. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommytobees Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 Hmmm..... here is how we deal with this: I have MY belongings. I have things that I don't even want my dh touching. HE has things that he doesn't want me touching. So, why aren't the kids allowed the same rights? IF a belonging isn't to be shared, then it should be played with/ used in a position where someone else isn't going to be hurt. Mind you, if child A has an iTouch and doesn't want to share it 99% of the time he can have it in the living room and be around other people. BUT, he has to allow others to watch him play IF he is going to be in public places. If he doesn't want to share at all, then go in your room. We ALL have things that aren't "share-able". Keep them put up. Keep them put away. OR.... Keep them put aside. I don't expect a 14-year old to share Legos with his 3-year old sibling. But then those Legos are kept in his room. As for personal space.... again, we all need to have personal space. We ALL need to know that our personal space is NOT going to be invaded. (We are NOT talking about parents going into children's bedrooms.) HOWEVER, if ANYONE treats someone else poorly because of an invasion of privacy, then we have a different problem. House rules: Stay out of my room unless you have a *reason* to be in there. If I'm home, ask. (using the toilet aside....when there are only 2.......SIGH) I might decide to get the reason you want to go into my room out for you. If you need me and I'm in my room/bath... then yes. But you don't linger and lurk. Not. Unless. You. Are. Invited. Well, same goes for siblings rooms. If you want to keep others out of your room, close your door. A closed door is a sign of "Privacy". EVERYONE knocks _AND_ waits to be admitted before entering a closed door. Mind you, there are always exceptions.... figure out those LOL!! As for siblings that share a room: well, that takes extra patience. Give and take alike. Good luck! Kris Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 toys purchased with own money do not need to be shared. special toys (AG doll, big lego model, whatever fits this situ in your house) do not need to be shared toys that can be broken or are inappropriate based on age do not need to be shared with younger sib. toys that have been around a while, ordinary lego sets, board games, cheaper toys that are not brand new could be shared, particularly if they are left or stored in public area of house. toys not shared should not be stored in public area. older dc should not have to let younger siblings have unlimited access to their rooms or space within room if shared. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen in CO Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 My girls each have a shelf above their beds for toys that aren't to be shared, because it is not my job to keep track of such things. Toys that are special (special presents, special value, bought with own money) AND stored on this shelf are not to be shared. Everything else is common property. This means that if child A dearly loves toy X and forgets to put it away on the special shelf. Child A cannot claim special rights when child B finds said toy in the common toy box. Next time the toy isn't being played with or after nice negotiations, child A can put it back on her shelf. It also means that Child A cannot suddenly decide that the cute stuffed bear from the common box is not sharable and put it on her own shelf. My girls share a room. Oldest has an apartment in Tokyo, but when he's back, all the stuff in his/guest room is off limits unless the girls ask, just like grandma's stuff in her room. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenieReighn Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 My girls each have a shelf above their beds for toys that aren't to be shared, because it is not my job to keep track of such things. Toys that are special (special presents, special value, bought with own money) AND stored on this shelf are not to be shared. Everything else is common property. This means that if child A dearly loves toy X and forgets to put it away on the special shelf. Child A cannot claim special rights when child B finds said toy in the common toy box. Next time the toy isn't being played with or after nice negotiations, child A can put it back on her shelf. It also means that Child A cannot suddenly decide that the cute stuffed bear from the common box is not sharable and put it on her own shelf. My girls share a room. Oldest has an apartment in Tokyo, but when he's back, all the stuff in his/guest room is off limits unless the girls ask, just like grandma's stuff in her room. :iagree: This is how things are done here...once kids get older, usually the 'shelf' expands more. :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 toys purchased with own money do not need to be shared. special toys (AG doll, big lego model, whatever fits this situ in your house) do not need to be shared toys that can be broken or are inappropriate based on age do not need to be shared with younger sib. toys that have been around a while, ordinary lego sets, board games, cheaper toys that are not brand new could be shared, particularly if they are left or stored in public area of house. toys not shared should not be stored in public area. older dc should not have to let younger siblings have unlimited access to their rooms or space within room if shared. :iagree: I will also add that my girls who share a room, have a shelf to hold special things they don't want the other to touch. No entry into others rooms w/out permission. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tangerine Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 I think every child needs to have some things for their own. We all have things we wouldn't want someone younger or less conscientious to handle. My kids share a bedroom, and are not at an age where privacy is a concern to them, so I can't speak as to the other question. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WeeBeaks Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 My kids have shelves in their rooms for special items, which need not be shared. And those areas should not be touched by siblings without permission. Toys in common rooms are shared (usually purchased by us, not a child, and not a gift for a single child at Christmas or something). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 Most things are communal after a bit, meaning that they can't tell someone else they can't play with them. The exceptions are brand-new items, or DD's American Girl dolls (we keep those in her room, because I don't trust a 2yo not to mess with them inappropriately), or Lego creations (those are generally put up where they're not easily reached by the 2yo). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mo2 Posted August 9, 2011 Author Share Posted August 9, 2011 toys purchased with own money do not need to be shared. special toys (AG doll, big lego model, whatever fits this situ in your house) do not need to be shared toys that can be broken or are inappropriate based on age do not need to be shared with younger sib. toys that have been around a while, ordinary lego sets, board games, cheaper toys that are not brand new could be shared, particularly if they are left or stored in public area of house. toys not shared should not be stored in public area. older dc should not have to let younger siblings have unlimited access to their rooms or space within room if shared. OK, so you all are pretty much reinforcing what I have been doing. Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 About 98% of our toys are shared. The girls also share a room. They're only 2 years apart and they get along very well. They do have special "friends" that they never have to share and that's understood. Even when they've bought things with their own money or received them as presents, they're usually figuring out how to share them before the package is even opened. As they're so close in age, there's pretty much nothing that's age-inappropriate that Becca plays with anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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