LuvingLife Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 How did they transition into it? I find that most of the colleges that I want to attend are all out of state, and are more affordable than the ones in-state. But I am really nervous about going to live on campus and not being able to commute back and forth to home and college. I love my family, and I am also a girl that loves to be away from home, but not all the time. :) I think it's going to be harder on my family if I leave, my siblings don't want me to leave ever, and my mom and dad are already nervous about it, but more excited to see me achieve my goals. How easily did your children transition into going to an out of state school? :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brenda in MA Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 How easily did your children transition into going to an out of state school? :001_huh: Mine is at a school that's about a 4 hour drive from us. We can easily visit, but we only do so about once/semester. During high school, my son had been away from home for a week at a time each summer at scout camp. That experience helped him to feel comfortable being away. Still, the first semester was a bit tough for him, but he adjusted, and he has matured a lot and gained confidence that he can handle things himself. Overall, it's been a good experience for him and a good transition to adulthood. If you have the chance to spend some time away at a camp or retreat or even at a relative's house, that might give you some experience and confidence with handling yourself away from your family. Best wishes, Brenda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 My oldest adjusted to being away from home like he's done it his whole life. He had been going places in groups, but without family, since 8th grade. We've been traveling his whole life. He felt right at home on campus and more or less considers that home now and here his vacation spot. He's 11 1/2 hours away and itching for school to start again. Next year he's determined to be interning somewhere probably overseas instead of coming home to work in a menial job. I suppose I make it sound like we don't get along. That's not the case at all. We just raised ours to be independent (mostly free ranging) and they love travel + exploring new places. That part is probably genetic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In The Great White North Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 My oldest adjusted to being away from home like he's done it his whole life. He had been going places in groups, but without family, since 8th grade. We've been traveling his whole life. He felt right at home on campus and more or less considers that home now and here his vacation spot. Same here. Ds takes all day to get to college (no direct flights,) no commuting, no weekends. He has been informing me all week that "he's on leave" whenever there is any work to be done. :glare: I think he envisioned "being on vacation" til he had to go back. It does really help to have been away from home before. He had gone to scout camp since he was 11, weekend overnights, CAP Encampment and National Flight Academy, swim camp at Navy for a week, a week with Grossmuetti, etc. He was more than ready to leave the nest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Photo Ninja Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 I have one ds out of state and he had no problems adjusting. He was ready. He would have preferred to have a car because that would have made life easier, but he was fine without one. He made friends, spent a lot of time doing outdoor activities, and enjoyed school activities. He left last August and didn't get home until Christmas break for two weeks. Airline tickets are expensive. He then didn't get home until summer (and only for two weeks because he is getting residency for tuition purposes) so he was gone most the year. He likes it there, but by summer was very ready to come home to see family and friends, but was also ready to go back because he likes it there. From a parent's perspective, I miss him every day, but I am glad he is there because it is the right place for him and he is happy and doing well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LuvingLife Posted July 13, 2011 Author Share Posted July 13, 2011 I have been away from home before, but when I start thinking about what life will be like away from home and in a completely different state, it's hard and feels kind of strange to me. My parents are trying to support my decisions though, so if I want to go to school in California they would agree to it. (not that I am going to school in California, just as an example :001_smile:). This is harder than I thought, and I only have 2 years left!:tongue_smilie:I think I need to get out more so that I will adjust better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In The Great White North Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 I think I need to get out more so that I will adjust better. Yes. And the more you do (for yourself/others) while at home helps too. Ds knew he could drive, fly, get gas, cook, do the dishes, fix his computer, etc, etc, etc. Practice being totally self-sufficient while you still have mom and dad to bail you out if something goes wrong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LuvingLife Posted July 13, 2011 Author Share Posted July 13, 2011 Yes. And the more you do (for yourself/others) while at home helps too. Ds knew he could drive, fly, get gas, cook, do the dishes, fix his computer, etc, etc, etc. Practice being totally self-sufficient while you still have mom and dad to bail you out if something goes wrong. Okay so at least I have the basics covered, I can cook, clean, sew, do the dishes, laundry, and a lot of other things (I am working on driving and getting a job). So I need to really buckle down now and start getting things done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 Okay so at least I have the basics covered, I can cook, clean, sew, do the dishes, laundry, and a lot of other things (I am working on driving and getting a job). So I need to really buckle down now and start getting things done. In two years you may find you're ready to go. Our brain tends to develop and reach new stages as we age. One year ago middle son was telling me he wanted to stay close to home. Now that his older brother has been in college away from home for a year and he, himself, has been looking at schools, I'm pretty sure he's looking forward to the next stage in life himself. That said, I agree with getting out more as you can. It does help ease the "unknown" factor when you've been places and done things (and usually found them fun and/or worthwhile). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reesegirl Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 All 3 of my dds have gone to university out of state...all within 9 hours of home, so not to far to drive home for spring break or for us to go see them once a semester. From a mom's point of view, and perhaps slightly selfish, I am glad that they didn't go farther than a day's drive. I have seen kids go far away to college, perhaps across the country, end up meeting someone there, getting married and then locating far from home. One of my close friend's son married a girl from across the country and is finding that it is hard to only see her son once or twice a year. My two oldest dds are within 6.5 hours of home now that they are out of college which makes me happy to be able to see them often. Who knows what my youngest dd will do after she graduates. I will say that I wouldn't have stopped them from going farther from home, only glad that they did stay within a days drive for university. I am a northwest person in location and lifestyle and glad that they are still in this area. And fortunately for grad school my dd top selection was in the northwest too. Is it the most important thing to think about? No, but Just something to keep in mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LuvingLife Posted July 14, 2011 Author Share Posted July 14, 2011 In two years you may find you're ready to go. Our brain tends to develop and reach new stages as we age. One year ago middle son was telling me he wanted to stay close to home. Now that his older brother has been in college away from home for a year and he, himself, has been looking at schools, I'm pretty sure he's looking forward to the next stage in life himself. That said, I agree with getting out more as you can. It does help ease the "unknown" factor when you've been places and done things (and usually found them fun and/or worthwhile). All 3 of my dds have gone to university out of state...all within 9 hours of home, so not to far to drive home for spring break or for us to go see them once a semester. From a mom's point of view, and perhaps slightly selfish, I am glad that they didn't go farther than a day's drive. I have seen kids go far away to college, perhaps across the country, end up meeting someone there, getting married and then locating far from home. One of my close friend's son married a girl from across the country and is finding that it is hard to only see her son once or twice a year. My two oldest dds are within 6.5 hours of home now that they are out of college which makes me happy to be able to see them often. Who knows what my youngest dd will do after she graduates. I will say that I wouldn't have stopped them from going farther from home, only glad that they did stay within a days drive for university. I am a northwest person in location and lifestyle and glad that they are still in this area. And fortunately for grad school my dd top selection was in the northwest too. Is it the most important thing to think about? No, but Just something to keep in mind. :iagree: and although I won't be going across the country, I am sure my parents would be supportive of me no matter what. I will just have to adjust to life away from home, and the more friends I make and the more activities I get involved in the less I will be thinking about home. I think this is going to be a fun experience!:001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K-FL Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 Even though dd#1 stayed in state it was still a 5 hr drive & dd#2 will be 6 hrs. (You New Englanders have no idea. . .) Since we live in a resort island city, any regular city area is a big change from here. (We don't have a mall, Target, or Walmart--only Kmart, Sears, Ross.) Every school I've seen has welcome week(end) activities to get the new students acclimated & busy right from the start. Helps the transition from home to school. Plus, every freshman/transfer is in the same boat so everyone is trying to meet people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LuvingLife Posted July 18, 2011 Author Share Posted July 18, 2011 Even though dd#1 stayed in state it was still a 5 hr drive & dd#2 will be 6 hrs. (You New Englanders have no idea. . .) Since we live in a resort island city, any regular city area is a big change from here. (We don't have a mall, Target, or Walmart--only Kmart, Sears, Ross.) Every school I've seen has welcome week(end) activities to get the new students acclimated & busy right from the start. Helps the transition from home to school. Plus, every freshman/transfer is in the same boat so everyone is trying to meet people. Lol, in New England everything is close together, most colleges are only 25 minutes away from where I live while the South and West have colleges 6 hours apart!:D I will definitely be getting involved in a lot of freshman activities and the welcome weekends, I don't think I will have any problems making friends. Thank you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tofugirl101 Posted July 27, 2011 Share Posted July 27, 2011 Well, I live in Texas, but all of the schools I have chosen so far are on the West Coast, or the East Coast. No colleges in Texas have appealed to me yet. My Mom always joked that she would get an apartment right outside my dorm. So everytime I look out the window, I see her waving furiously at me. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted July 30, 2011 Share Posted July 30, 2011 We live in the midwest, and our son went to school in NYC and our daughter in Costa Rica. Our family is extremely close -- people often question how we can "let them" go so far away. But like another poster here, we traveled a lot as a family and loved new adventures. We always encouraged that and independence among our children, and are excited about their own adventures. It was a little harder for our son to be in NYC, because he chose not to live in the dorms (so expensive) and wanted to find his own living situation that would be cheaper, plus work part-time, so he did not feel as much part of the college community. That being said, he learned to love it there and built up his own network of close friends (outside of school, mostly). I think building up a network -- even just a small one -- of people you are comfortable with and enjoy can really help that transition a lot. Our daughter did that in Costa Rica as well, and just loves it there. We are in constant contact with them: emails, text messages throughout the day, Skyping, etc. We still manage to see each other a lot, spend most holidays and vacations together, etc. They don't feel too far away, and we are very, very happy for them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beth in OH Posted July 30, 2011 Share Posted July 30, 2011 I have two dd's going to school out of state, each about a 7 hr. drive from home. You've received many good suggestions on this thread, and I'm just going to add one thought about budgeting. Since you know that you will want to visit home (or have home visit you :) ) regularly, be sure to budget in the cost of travel so that you can do those needed visits without stress. If you go away knowing that you will be returning home for a visit at a designated time, it's not so monumental. Without factoring in that cost, you can feel trapped at school when the $$'s are not available. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LuvingLife Posted July 31, 2011 Author Share Posted July 31, 2011 We live in the midwest, and our son went to school in NYC and our daughter in Costa Rica. Our family is extremely close -- people often question how we can "let them" go so far away. But like another poster here, we traveled a lot as a family and loved new adventures. We always encouraged that and independence among our children, and are excited about their own adventures. It was a little harder for our son to be in NYC, because he chose not to live in the dorms (so expensive) and wanted to find his own living situation that would be cheaper, plus work part-time, so he did not feel as much part of the college community. That being said, he learned to love it there and built up his own network of close friends (outside of school, mostly).I think building up a network -- even just a small one -- of people you are comfortable with and enjoy can really help that transition a lot. Our daughter did that in Costa Rica as well, and just loves it there. We are in constant contact with them: emails, text messages throughout the day, Skyping, etc. We still manage to see each other a lot, spend most holidays and vacations together, etc. They don't feel too far away, and we are very, very happy for them. That's really nice that you are all so close! You and your family remind me a lot of my family, we are all really close and enjoy each other's company. I know that I will probably going to school out of state because I can afford it more and not many colleges in my area offer what I want. I will definitely have a network of friends, this has helped me transition to many different schools and areas where we lived. Thank you for the advice!!:) I have two dd's going to school out of state, each about a 7 hr. drive from home. You've received many good suggestions on this thread, and I'm just going to add one thought about budgeting. Since you know that you will want to visit home (or have home visit you :) ) regularly, be sure to budget in the cost of travel so that you can do those needed visits without stress. If you go away knowing that you will be returning home for a visit at a designated time, it's not so monumental. Without factoring in that cost, you can feel trapped at school when the $$'s are not available. :iagree: I am always one to plan ahead and make sure everything is scheduled right, so making trips home would be a big thing for me. I will probably be going to school out of state just because a lot of other colleges have more to offer and have the majors I want. The holidays I will always travel home for (unless I can't for some reason) and when I have college breaks I will probably be traveling home. Thank you so much for your advice, it is always appreciated! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 Pending how far away you go, trips home don't have to be expensive. Oldest is going roughly 12 hours from home and has been able to find rides home each holiday for roughly $40. It's far less expensive than flying or the bus and he enjoys the trip with other students! (Generally, riders have been taking turns filling the tank or just offering cash for the same.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LuvingLife Posted July 31, 2011 Author Share Posted July 31, 2011 Pending how far away you go, trips home don't have to be expensive. Oldest is going roughly 12 hours from home and has been able to find rides home each holiday for roughly $40. It's far less expensive than flying or the bus and he enjoys the trip with other students! (Generally, riders have been taking turns filling the tank or just offering cash for the same.) I agree that driving or carpooling with friends is a much better idea than flying and it saves a lot of money(like you wrote). I will be planning everything out just to be sure of the costs, and I might be going up to 12 to 15 hours away from home, so although it's far it won't be so bad. Thank you all for the help and encouragement, it is what I needed to know! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyThreeSons Posted August 2, 2011 Share Posted August 2, 2011 How easily did your children transition into going to an out of state school? :001_huh: I put my son on the Greyhound bus three weeks ago. He was traveling to another state to visit some folks for a couple of weeks. He fell in love with the place, went to the local community college, got himself admitted and enrolled. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LuvingLife Posted August 2, 2011 Author Share Posted August 2, 2011 I put my son on the Greyhound bus three weeks ago. He was traveling to another state to visit some folks for a couple of weeks. He fell in love with the place, went to the local community college, got himself admitted and enrolled. Wow, that is just like wow! I don't think it will happen that fast for me, but glad that your son has found a place for himself lol!:lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyThreeSons Posted August 2, 2011 Share Posted August 2, 2011 Wow, that is just like wow! I don't think it will happen that fast for me, but glad that your son has found a place for himself lol!:lol: Now if he can get a job, he will be able to stay. The school cost there is no different than it was going to be here, even with the non-resident penalty. But I don't have money to send him for room and board. He found a sweet deal on a room to rent, and he's fine with living on Mac and Cheese and Ramen noodles, but it's still going to cost him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LuvingLife Posted August 3, 2011 Author Share Posted August 3, 2011 Now if he can get a job, he will be able to stay. The school cost there is no different than it was going to be here, even with the non-resident penalty. But I don't have money to send him for room and board. He found a sweet deal on a room to rent, and he's fine with living on Mac and Cheese and Ramen noodles, but it's still going to cost him. I am sure he will, if he is willing to go to a college out of state I am sure he will be able to get a job. That must be pretty awesome finding a place and just going with what you want. I can't wait to do it myself!!:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.