First HS school year completed - My thoughts...

[snipsnsnailsx5]

Well its pretty much to a close now, although I still want to do some things with them throughout the summer to keep their minds fresh. :)

 

Here's my problem though. Every. Single. Day. was a struggle this year. :( I feel like I'm not organized enough, motivated enough, creative enough, or patient enough to be a homeschool mom. Is it really true that anyone can homeschool, or are some just not cut out for it?

The fact I've had to face is that I'm lazy. I can't make myself stick to a routine or schedule if I tried. I'm still working on this because I think things would be less chaotic and things would get done more if we did have a schedule or routine of some sort. But I keep trying and failing.

 

Ive been so stressed out with my kids. I'm so happy on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and the weekends. I finally figured out its because on those days the boys don't have to do school work. They go to a homeschool program on Tuesdays and Wednesdays and we don't do school on weekends.

 

My goal was to challenge them, have them learn more then they would in the PS. However I feel like I haven't taught them anything this year. I feel like they basically got a year off. :( I think we only completed half of their math/English books. (partially though because I changed their math and English a couple times in the beginning of the year, so they got a late start on the programs we finally stuck with).

 

It was a rare week to actually do school all three days. My oldest is going into 7th grade in the fall. I'm scared crapless that I'll hold him back by not making sure he's being taught what he needs to.

 

I am ashamed to say that I actually fantasize about what it was like for them to be in PS and for me to have five quiet days a week to actually keep the house clean.

 

The reasons we decided to homeschool are becoming fuzzier and fuzzier. The biggest one I keep hanging on to is that we didn't want them in today's PS system because of the influences and the way society has changed. We want them to have certain values and morals and it seems today's youth have stripped all those away.

But I've met many strong in faith families from our church who send their kids to PS. Their kids turn out great. And they learn a lot of lessons on how to be strong in faith and values in the face of opposition. In some ways, it makes them stronger. But it can go the opposite direction too...and that's what I'm afraid of.

 

Its a scary thing to know that your decisions can affect the path of your child's future.

Either keep homeschooling and raise wonderful, well-adjusted kids who haven't had to deal with peer pressure and temptations thrown in their face every day - OR the other path here is that they could fall behind in their studies because of my iniquities and/or grow up to hate me and hate their brothers due to having to be stuck with them all the time and not going out and making their own friends. None of my boys have actual good friends that they hang out with beyond scout or soccer activities.

OR

Send them back to PS and risk them making the wrong friends, getting into trouble, even drugs, and who knows what else.

OR they could do great, grow up wonderfully and we'd all be happy.

 

Wahhhh! I don't know what to think/do. I'm a shy introvert by nature, and that doesn't seem to make for a good homeschool mom. The great homeschool moms I see are out there in the community, involving their kids in various activities and events, making playdates for them and their friends, taking them hiking, for walks or bicycle rides, etc etc. I'm just not like that. :( I get stressed out too easily with all these little kids taking them anywhere outside the house.

 

So...after my big whine...what are your thoughts? How do you do it?

[missmoe]

Bethany,

 

Have you prayed about it?

 

Homeschooling is not easy, and it does require sacrafice on everyone's part. And after 12 years I can say not every year is perfect. Some years I had babies and things fell apart, some years dad was working/living out of town and mom fell apart, some years hormones raged and a certain teenage boy caused everything to fall apart, but life went on and school happened when it could to the best of my ability.

 

Saying all that I do have one going to school and next year will have two going to school.

 

All this to say---things will never be perfect and yes, kids can turn out allright either at home or at school.

 

And I don't think your kids will grow up hating you because they spent all their time with you. ;)

[mom2l&j]

First, :grouphug:, and I'm not huggy type of person. (Shy, introvert here as well.)

 

I am preparing to start my first year of homeschooling next year. I can honestly say that I worry about every. single. thing. you brought up. I feel that I will be posting a similar post next year at this time. :) I'm looking at this as an opportunity to try to become a closer family, a better mother, and have more respectful children. In order for this to be accomplished I am going to have to pray about it multiple times a day.

 

Homeschooling is not the definitive answer as to how your children are going to turn out. I feel that I don't have enough time to counteract the effect of school when the kids are in PS. You need to weigh that out for your own family.

 

I hope you and your family will be able to make the right decision for your own family. You are a good mom for being open to what is best for everyone involved.

[Night Elf]

I'm in my 10th year of homeschooling and I can honestly say that I don't think I've had one easy year. It's just such a big responsibility that it's difficult for me to just sit back and relax.

 

I'm lazy too. I hate to admit it, but there, I said it. My suggestion is to spend time writing out a daily schedule. It's the only thing that helps me keep schooling consistently. Even when I use programs that are laid out for me, I type up daily lists that put everything on one page. We start at the top, check things off as they are completed, and are finished when the last item has been done. Building that schedule is not fun but it's easier to do a large chunk at one time and then just follow the plan. I tend to write out a few months at a time. I also went through several planner styles before I found the one that works best for us.

[meggie]

I feel your pain. I'm kinda in the same boat right now. I'm ready to throw in the towel. And my son isn't even in Kindergarten yet. :grouphug: to you.

[Brenda in FL]

:grouphug:

 

It was your first year - and with older kids (12 and 9) it is harder to get through everything when you have so many children. I wouldn't count this year as a picture of your future in homeschooling. I am guilty of the same faults - but I know I can change that - it can't be impossible - so keep trying to instill htat order and discipline in your days (And I will too!!)

 

I remember you posting about the co-ops and whether to do CC next year. Have you made a decision about that? I will say that I think being away from home more than one day per week does not help in getting the academics completed. Since you know you are challenged in using those 3 days to your best advantage - I would again caution you about doing too much outside the home that does not support your academic efforts. (That's why I like CC!!)

 

And please don't worry about your children hating you or each other. And I think there are more introvert homeschooling moms than you think out there!!

 

Do what's right for your family - and don't worry about what everyone else is doing!!

[LittleIzumi]

I second the "pray about it."

 

Are there any charter schools in your area? Those seem to be a nice middle ground, generally.

[myfunnybunch]

:grouphug:

 

I would pick one thing to change. Just one. Then commit to changing it, whether it's a start time on your school days, making sure every child does a math lesson and a grammar lesson every school day, making a weekly checklist and making sure that the kids understand the rewards for completing the week's work and consequences for not....whatever you feel you need to work on the most. Commit to and follow through on that one thing until it's a habit, then tackle the next one.

 

Hang in there. It takes a year or two to get your sea legs, so to speak. But you've got a year of experience under your belt to let you know what works and what doesn't. Next year will be that much easier because you have a better idea of what works for your family. You can do it!

 

Cat

[abacus2]

We are wrapping up year two of homeschooling at our house and year two was definitely better than year one. I'm looking forward to next years plans and think year three will be even better. I still struggle with a routine that works, but it's gotten easier. Have you considered yearly testing to help you recognize the progress your children are making? If I had to guess based on your post, I think it's likely your children made great progress this year, but you can't see it because they have changed slowly throughout the year and it's hard to remember where they were 9 months ago.

[Colleen in NS]

The fact that someone with five kids decides to start homeschooling in the middle of her kids' growing up years really impresses me. I think you should cut yourself some slack, as you get used to this whole new lifestyle. :)

 

I feel like I'm not organized enough, motivated enough, creative enough, or patient enough to be a homeschool mom.

 

OK, so drop the expectation to be motivated, creative, and patient; and just keep working on the organized part. I looked at your curriculum choices - you have chosen some great academic materials to work with, but they do take time to teach. So, you have to be organized about that. Don't worry about the other aspects right now.

 

However I feel like I haven't taught them anything this year. I feel like they basically got a year off. :( I think we only completed half of their math/English books. (partially though because I changed their math and English a couple times in the beginning of the year, so they got a late start on the programs we finally stuck with).

 

This is perfectly normal when starting off. You have to experiment a bit to find out what's going to work for your family. Heck, it took me a few YEARS to figure out what math program we were going to stick with! But after I figured it out, I made it work, and we got caught up. You've got some excellent choices there for your math and English.

 

The great homeschool moms I see are out there in the community, involving their kids in various activities and events, making playdates for them and their friends, taking them hiking, for walks or bicycle rides, etc etc. I'm just not like that. :( I get stressed out too easily with all these little kids taking them anywhere outside the house.

 

You have several still very young children, and it's OK that you are not "like that." Many times it's just plain old easier to stay home. And that's not a bad thing. It's not a bad thing, either, to have that time for your own kids to bond with each other - I don't think it's utterly necessary for kids to go out all the time to "be with their own friends" as opposed to having lots of time with their siblings or just being alone dreaming in the backyard or on their beds. You can't do everything for your kids - some things are going to slide up and down the priority scale as you go along. There'll be some months when you can take them out to events, or on walks/hikes/bike rides; and other months when the laundry has piled up (like this week for me - I discovered all the winter gear piled up in the garage - no one had bothered to put their jackets/mittens/etc. away months ago, and now it all needs to be washed. Also, a middle-of-the-night house fire down the street a few nights ago caused us to go outside in case we needed to escape, and the result? smoky clothes and blankets and a couple of stuffed animals - yep, the laundry is really piled up) and you have to concentrate on that and math and grammar and cooking dinner. And that's all OK. I have a friend who is homeschooling five kids, ages 13 to 4, and she purposely stays home as much as possible - she long ago got over the feeling that she needed to be out and about with playdates and volunteer activities. She picks a *few* things that she deems really important for her whole family (as opposed to individual children's desires all the time), and does those. LOL, if we want to see them, I have to "book" her weeks in advance for a visit, but when we visit together it's enjoyable, because she is really calm and so are her kids because they are not running around all the time.

 

Anyway, you can't compare yourself to what you think other homeschool Moms are doing. You have to do what you set out to do in the first place. If it's academics and protection from certain things, then carry on in the way that helps you achieve those goals. Even if it looks different from those around you.

[snipsnsnailsx5]

Thanks all for the words of encouragement! :)

 

I am feeling better, because of what you all said and because of what my kids said too.

 

I asked them today if they had a choice, would they go back to PS or stay home and do their homeschool program. The little ones I knew what their answer would be already because my 3rd grader had such horrible experiences with school and the principal that ruined him for life I think. :( Also my 1st grader just loves being home and doing things with his brothers. He had a good kindergarten experience last year, but he couldn't wait to be home like his brother (who I had taken out of school early while I let his other brothers finish last year first).

 

I was right. They chose to stay at home and stick with their homeschool program.

 

But I was surprised at my 12 yr old's answer. He was the one who loved middle school and was pretty upset when we took him out. He kept asking if he could just go back. He even came up with a list of reasons why he should go back. I felt horrible. I felt like I was ruining his life. :(

So when I asked him today how he felt the year has gone and if he had a choice again, would he choose his old PS middle school or stick with the homeschool program.

He chose to stick with his homeschool program. He likes his new friends, he says the classes are fun. I was pretty surprised...if he would have said he wanted to go back to PS I would have probably folded at that moment - that's the kind of week I've been having.

 

BUT all the kids unanimously said they want to stay w/ their homeschool program and stay at home.

 

I knew the first year would be hard, and I knew to expect burnout towards the end.

 

I do have exciting plans for next year and am going to be following WTM suggestions (with the notebooks and learning outlines, etc) a lot more closely.

I am also going to focus more on independent work. Unknowingly, I picked out curriculum this year that was pretty teacher Dependant (like Rod and Staff, Saxon math, etc). I've altered it to make it as independent as possible, but I feel they aren't learning as much without that instruction. SO I have chosen programs that give that instruction without me needing to do a lot of planning or...instructing. lol (Like CLE, and Teaching Texbooks)

 

To answer questions asked above...

No there are no charter schools here. :( I believe I read somewhere that my state (WA) hasn't yet passed laws to allow charter schools. bummer. But what they have at their homeschool program is pretty close. Its a pretty great program actually, even if its funded by the government. :P lol

 

Also, we're not doing CC. :( I was really wanting to do that and my boys were looking forward to it. It was exciting thinking of the sense of community and being able to go to classes with their cousins. However, DH just couldn't come to terms with it being worth the $$. I tried to explain it to him, but he said it sounded like the content and quality wasn't up to par with the prices. The prices aren't bad...but for four kids they add up...to over $3,000. Plus any other curriculum we'd need to cover that CC didn't cover. DH would have agreed to it and we could have afforded it - but the bottom line was that he didn't feel it was worth it. :(

 

So we have one full day (9-2pm) out of the house a week at their beloved homeschool program, and one half day (9-12pm). I don't think the 3-day week is working...especially with my 12 yr old. Some of the classes I've signed him up for with the program are going to required quite a bit of work to continue at home as well (I have him enrolled in a block of "middle school" English, History, and Science that all work together on the same cycles...a four yr cycle I believe it said. Sounds pretty Classically minded?). So I'd realllly like to try doing some afternoon homeschooling after they get back at noon from their half day. Even if we just cover math, reading and English that day.

 

Anyway, I get SO excited talking plans and curriculum and organization. The problem just comes down to actually doing them. Reality. And my boys' constant bickering and whining and talking back that makes me want to shut myself in my room all day and ignore it all. :( So we're working on that. Someone suggested the "Have a New Kid By Friday" book. I've just started reading that.

 

Thanks again for all the suggestions!!

[....]

This is our third year homeschooling, so I'm by no means an expert...but here's some of the things I've seen from watching other homeschooling families and going thru things ourselves.

 

Consistency has got to be there. Everyday, the kids need to know that there's school - no exceptiongs. I wouldn't go to the grocery store during school hours, don't make appointments for the dr until late in the afternoon, etc. Monday-Friday.

 

It sounds like co-op is a really positive thing for your family, so I would keep it...but for us, I'd be careful of so much co-op that you can't get your actual curriculum done (we had a semester like this once :D).

 

Before the start of every school year, I print out a list of student expectations (for Grade 3 and older, not for the little bitty kids) and go over it with them. I make it very clear that I'm not looking for 1st grade work here. :glare:

 

Printing out a syllabus or using a planner for independent work (for the older ones) is a good tool for organization.

 

If you're going to do school year-round, you can really add a LOT of interest-led stuff. We actually added a whole new subject to our day called Career Prep. My 9 yro and 8 yro are interested in a couple of career fields. We got online and wrote down a bunch of ideas - like my daughter wants to dissect a cow eyeball, we're buying a beginner's dissection kit (perch, starfish, frog, etc), my son is going to work on the Amazing Bridges kit, Carpentry for Children, Complete-a-Sketch, etc. Those are just some ideas. My kids do backflips when I announce that we're doing something like that. :tongue_smilie: There's no way public school can compete with dissecting cow eyeballs in 4th grade. And 3rd graders don't take carpentry in ps, either.

 

Also, if your boys are fighting a lot...what about introducing some PE in the morning...or carpentry...something physical...?