Homeschooling with twin toddlers?

[DaydreamingMama]

Hello,

 

I've been lurking on this board for months, maybe a couple years in fact! But this is my first post. :-)

 

I have an 11 yr old, a 9 yr old, and 16-month twins. Homeschooling with the twins underfoot is so exhausting. Once upon a time, homeschooling involved sitting together on the couch, reading lots of good books, and doing cool art projects and science projects. Now, sitting on the couch to read is almost impossible (the twins come and grab the book, pull down on me, etc.), and art projects or science projects are extremely difficult to find time for.

 

Lately, homeschooling has been limited to book work they mostly do on their own (maps, vocab, phonics, reading) or work that is very high priority (math, writing, spelling). They also have a private Hebrew teacher, but that I have nothing to do with, except making sure they do their homework. They also have other extracurricular activities, like martial arts, art classes, and social homeschool gatherings.

 

But when it comes to me sitting with them and reading, it isn't happening. When I do need to sit with them, for math or writing, it's in these little bits of times, and it's not uncommon for a baby to be crying or pulling on my leg at the same time.

 

History has been coming from a history TV program, and literature is basically what they read themselves. Science is taught here and there, and I try to comfort myself with the idea that they watch a lot of Discovery and National Geographic. So between our own science breaks, at least they are getting something. Art they get from three art classes they are taking, so technically, there's no reason they have to do projects at home. But still...

 

I'm not sure what to do, or if there is something I can do. A babysitter isn't an option... I try to do history, literature, and science with them during baby naps, but lots of times, the babies won't sleep at the same time, so this doesn't work. I can't teach them at night because that is when *I* work (at home, as a writer.)

 

Next year, my plan is to get science programs that they do mostly on their own. For history, I have high hopes it'll get better and we'll have time again... But this year, science and history have been so lame.

 

I'm not sure if I'm just venting, looking for advice, or just BTDT stories. I keep thinking, "It'll get better when the twins are..." whatever age, but that hasn't happened! When WILL it get better??

 

Thanks for any words of wisdom,

 

~ Rachel

Edited May 23, 2011 by DaydreamingMama

[lulubelle]

Your hands are full! I don't have any advise.

 

I wanted to welcome you!

[JudoMom]

Hello,

 

I've been lurking on this board for months, maybe a couple years in fact! But this is my first post. :-)

 

I have an 11 yr old, a 9 yr old, and 16-month twins. Homeschooling with the twins underfoot is so exhausting. Once upon a time, homeschooling involved sitting together on the couch, reading lots of good books, and doing cool art projects and science projects. Now, sitting on the couch to read is almost impossible (the twins come and grab the book, pull down on me, etc.), and art projects or science projects are extremely difficult to find time for.

 

Lately, homeschooling has been limited to book work they mostly do on their own (maps, vocab, phonics, reading) or work that is very high priority (math, writing, spelling). They also have a private Hebrew teacher, but that I have nothing to do with, except making sure they do their homework. They also have other extracurricular activities, like martial arts, art classes, and social homeschool gatherings.

 

But when it comes to me sitting with them and reading, it isn't happening. When I do need to sit with them, for math or writing, it's in these little bits of times, and it's not uncommon for a baby to be crying or pulling on my leg at the same time.

 

History has been coming from a history TV program, and literature is basically what they read themselves. Science is taught here and there, and I try to comfort myself with the idea that they watch a lot of Discovery and National Geographic. So between our own science breaks, at least they are getting something. Art they get from three art classes they are taking, so technically, there's no reason they have to do projects at home. But still...

 

I'm not sure what to do, or if there is something I can do. A babysitter isn't an option... I try to do history, literature, and science with them during baby naps, but lots of times, the babies won't sleep at the same time, so this doesn't work. I can't teach them at night because that is when *I* work (at home, as a writer.)

 

Next year, my plan is to get science programs that they do mostly on their own. For history, I have high hopes it'll get better and we'll have time again... But this year, science and history have been so lame.

 

I'm not sure if I'm just venting, looking for advice, or just BTDT stories. I keep thinking, "It'll get better when the twins are..." whatever age, but that hasn't happened! When WILL it get better??

 

Thanks for any words of wisdom,

 

~ Rachel

 

:grouphug: I found that when my youngest turned 4, things got a lot easier. But it was easier at 3 than it was at 2, and easier at 2 than it was at 1.5.

 

Honestly, it sounds like you are doing a great job. If you miss reading with them (which sounds like the main issue), can you read a chapter to them at night--I know you said that you're working then, but could you take a 15 minute break after the twins are in bed?

[Remudamom]

When my oldest was in first grade we also had an 18 month old and newborn triplets. You can do it. Start training your toddlers to sit and listen. Make a room safe for them to play in while you are teaching and put up a child gate. Set up a play area in your schoolroom and insist they spend some time there.

 

I did it with four, you can do it with two.

[DaydreamingMama]

When my oldest was in first grade we also had an 18 month old and newborn triplets. You can do it. Start training your toddlers to sit and listen. Make a room safe for them to play in while you are teaching and put up a child gate. Set up a play area in your schoolroom and insist they spend some time there.

 

I did it with four, you can do it with two.

 

Tell me more! Did you just let them cry? Or were your babies happy to play alone?

 

We have a safe area to play, we have a safety gate. They do not like being there without someone else, though. They cry and scream, even though we are right in the next room and they can see and hear us. (It's more like a gate that divides one big room into two rooms, as opposed to two rooms.) Sometimes, they will play quietly after some crying, but most of the time, they won't. It rarely lasts longer than 10 minutes before they remember they don't like to be alone and start to cry.

 

I'm not happy about allowing them to cry long periods of time. To do that would make me feel like I am just exchanging problems. Instead of not having time to read with kids, I would have time but now I have very sad babies.

[carlychan]

I don't have multiples, but I do have little ones that are 1 year apart. They almost act like twins most of the time:) They are currently 2 1/2 and 3 1/2. It is easier than it was a year ago. It DOES get easier! It will not hurt your kids to have an "easier" year (although it sounds like they are still doing enough).

 

I agree with the above poster and they should be put into a safe room for short periods of time to train them to play on their own. I had gates up to block off our dining room where we were doing school. They had to play on their own when I was working with the older kids.

 

If your goal is to read to the olders (and youngers if they cooperate) I would start there. I would try to give them something to play with during story time (blocks, balls, etc) and have them sit quietly and play. If they don't take them to their room/crib. They will learn:)

 

I always had my littles sit in their highchair for work time. They had crayons or something non-toxic (LOL) to play with while I worked with the olders. They can't get out and are occupied for a short time anyway. Mine would always sit for at least a 1/2 hour with no problems.

 

So, there is a little advice. It does get better (and then you have more kids)...:glare:

 

Carly

[DaydreamingMama]

I don't have multiples, but I do have little ones that are 1 year apart. They almost act like twins most of the time:) They are currently 2 1/2 and 3 1/2. It is easier than it was a year ago. It DOES get easier! It will not hurt your kids to have an "easier" year (although it sounds like they are still doing enough).

 

I agree with the above poster and they should be put into a safe room for short periods of time to train them to play on their own. I had gates up to block off our dining room where we were doing school. They had to play on their own when I was working with the older kids.

 

If your goal is to read to the olders (and youngers if they cooperate) I would start there. I would try to give them something to play with during story time (blocks, balls, etc) and have them sit quietly and play. If they don't take them to their room/crib. They will learn:)

 

I always had my littles sit in their highchair for work time. They had crayons or something non-toxic (LOL) to play with while I worked with the olders. They can't get out and are occupied for a short time anyway. Mine would always sit for at least a 1/2 hour with no problems.

 

 

Thanks for the moral support! :)

 

I've read others talk about putting their kids in highchairs. This makes me laugh, though. I have little Houdinis. No matter how tight I make the straps, my babies escape. I can hardly keep them there long enough to eat! I've recently got them interested in forks, so they will sit long enough to eat. But the high chairs in this house are NOT safe places. Turn around for a moment, and they are standing up, turned around, and getting ready to jump out.

 

 

So, there is a little advice. It does get better (and then you have more kids)...:glare:

 

Carly

 

:lol::lol: Yes, I've thought of that aspect!!! I experienced infertility between the 9 yr old and the twins. I go back and forth, thinking it'd be so amazing if I got pregnant on my own... and thinking how that may make me lose the rest of my marbles! ;)

[craftyerin]

My twins will be 3 next month, and I think in your boat, we would just now be getting to where I could get much school done if I had older kids. Twin toddlers are CRAZY demanding. I think it sounds like you're doing a great job, working things in when you can.

 

Ideas:

Can you gate off a room or a part of a room that is 100% baby proof so that you can contain babies to help big kids with school?

 

At that age, mine would happily watch Signing Time, which was both good for keeping them out of trouble for 30 minutes and for their communication skills. Highly recommend a good variety of Signing Time videos. My library had them, but they would have been worth the purchase price, too.

 

Also, I'd really push the synchronized nap. I found that if I kept the sleepy one awake until the more hesitant-to-sleep one went down, they'd both sleep at the same time with few exceptions. If I put the sleepy one down right when the eye rubbing started, then I could almost guarantee that she'd wake up about the time the not-so-sleepy one got tired. And then they'd tag-team me. I hated that.

 

Best of luck! It really does sound like you're doing the best you can!

[kchara]

I have 22 month old twins, a 10 yo, an 8 yo, a 4 yo, and a 6 mo. :grouphug: I feel ya!!

 

We got one of those deluxe play yards, the kind that's basically one big gate that becomes a circle? I stick them in there with some toys for school time. It's been a lifesaver.

:grouphug:

[LaxMom]

We started our homeschooling with twin toddlers, too. In the beginning it was, to say the least, a comedy of errors. (Note: a certain popular DVD and manipulative based math program becomes completely ineffective when your DVD player is in the gated "twin proof" area and they spend the majority of math instruction trying to climb their older sibling and eat the manipulatives.)

 

You do not have large periods of time to devote to focused activities. You will do better - mentally and in productivity - if you admit that and work within the confines of living with two toddlers. Really.

 

We gated the front of the house as the safe play area. If we reached a point where one or both of them were being disruptive to the current lesson, I would evaluate how much time I needed to finish and would either put on some sort of brain sucking entertainment (Baby Einstein video, preschool cartoon, something) to buy us time, or I would defer the remainder of what we were doing to later in the day when they were napping or I had another grownup to amuse them.

 

"Including" them by giving them something to do at the table (we used boosters strapped to dining chairs, rather than high chairs) seemed to increase the time we had for lessons, simply because their relative inclusion in the activity going on helped their attention span - much shorter when there's activity going on in another room that seems more interesting than the stuff in your own area than when you're in the middle of all activity going on in the house, know what I mean?

 

Giving your olders more independent tasks so that you can break up your hands-on time into manageable chunks helps. Maybe reserving the read-alouds for evening when the littles go to bed would help.

 

Mostly, though, looking at the organic structure of your day and fitting the learning into that saves your sanity, your energy, and allows you to get it done. Of course, this changes from stage to stage, but not that much.

 

(Of course, I should note here that this has taken me 15 minutes to type because one or the other of my twins - now 6 1/2 - comes around the corner every 2 minutes to bug me about something so I'll have to admit that it is entirely possible that I have been assimilated to their attention span rather than they to mine. :D)

[merry gardens]

For some subjects, can your older children take turns playing with the twins while you take turns working with the child who isn't watching the twins?

 

Also, you can assign the child watching the twins to read to them, play letter blocks with them and do educational things with them. Active toddlers love to explore life through various little "science experiments".

 

When the weather is nice, we like to do school work outside. Sand boxes hold toddlers captive better than any playpen ever designed. :)

[AndyJoy]

I don't have older kids and only one toddler, but I wanted to ask whether you had some sort of active toy for your playroom like a cube climber or a slide? My little guy will spend LOTS of time playing by himself on these.

[soonermomma]

My twins are 2 and we are newer to homeschooling also. The one thing we have found that works, besides doing school at nap time is taking my older girls one at a time to do school while the other plays with the twins, and then we switch. I am always amazed at how much faster my girls get their work done when they have my undivided attention and no other kids in the room to distract them.

[DaydreamingMama]

My twins are 2 and we are newer to homeschooling also. The one thing we have found that works, besides doing school at nap time is taking my older girls one at a time to do school while the other plays with the twins, and then we switch. I am always amazed at how much faster my girls get their work done when they have my undivided attention and no other kids in the room to distract them.

 

This is such a good idea! I don't know why I never considered that.

[Remudamom]

Sorry, this got away from me.

 

I don't remember mine doing enough crying to bother me. They all seemed to play well together and our schoolroom was just off our baby room, so they could see me. Plus big sister @ 18 months was in there with them too.

 

It was a long time ago, 17 years, but we did survive, and I don't think anyone was scarred for life.

[Remudamom]

Why not try to help them go longer and longer periods without crying? If they'll play for 10 minutes, let them cry a couple before you go in. If they reach 12 minutes, stretch it some more and see what happens.

[meggie]

:grouphug::grouphug: No real advice, but hugs to you. At 18 months, my middle son was a holy terror. I literally couldn't get anything done because he was always trying to climb up on this or that and about to injure himself. Now at 23 months, he is so much easier. Still kinda crazy, but much easier.

 

It sounds like you are doing a lot already. Try the advice about getting an older sibling to watch them for a bit and hopefully it'll work out for you.

 

And I hope I'm not reading too much into it, but if you're feeling guilty about anything, DON'T. I felt SOOOO guilty after my baby was born because every time she and my middle took a nap I did too. I felt like I was neglecting my oldest because I was making him watch movies or play by himself. It's a stage, it will pass. More hugs :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[violinmom]

It's hard for sure. My twins just turned 4 and I also have 3 older girls. I do a lot of bouncing around back and forth. Sometimes 1 dd would play with them while I work with the other. Now, they just play with each other for very long periods of time. The biggest problem now is that they are 2 tornados and just get into things my other kids would never dream of. Good days are when they play out back for a long time :) I am going to do some structured stuff with them in the Fall to keep them occupied and making fewer giant messes.

[tex-mex]

Tell me more! Did you just let them cry? Or were your babies happy to play alone?

 

We have a safe area to play, we have a safety gate. They do not like being there without someone else, though. They cry and scream, even though we are right in the next room and they can see and hear us. (It's more like a gate that divides one big room into two rooms, as opposed to two rooms.) Sometimes, they will play quietly after some crying, but most of the time, they won't. It rarely lasts longer than 10 minutes before they remember they don't like to be alone and start to cry.

 

I'm not happy about allowing them to cry long periods of time. To do that would make me feel like I am just exchanging problems. Instead of not having time to read with kids, I would have time but now I have very sad babies.

I'm not a mom with multiples... but I loved Remudamom's advice!

 

I used a system when my son was a baby. Not sure if this will help? But when he was an infant, we'd set aside a small segment of the morning playtime for the playpen. Son would be surrounded by his toys and he would have this time in small amounts like 5, 10, 15 minutes. Then as a toddler, the playpen time changed to playroom time for 20-30 minutes. By the time he was 3, he would have a regular playroom time in his schedule for 30 minutes.

 

You do have to run it like a center activity. The room would have different tubs of toys on certain days to avoid boredom. Rotate them. But you are trying to develop independence too. We'd incorporate the day with other things too like naps, park days, outdoor time, reading together (teaching him how to handle a book and not eat the pages), and snack time.

 

I do think you can do this. It would be hard to get over the tears... but once over that hurdle, the twins can realize playroom time can be fun! HTH

[tex-mex]

I always had my littles sit in their highchair for work time. They had crayons or something non-toxic (LOL) to play with while I worked with the olders. They can't get out and are occupied for a short time anyway. Mine would always sit for at least a 1/2 hour with no problems.

 

 

That is a great idea!

 

My son also loved his high chair and would sit for 20-30 minutes easily. Use cheerios or snacks too as an incentive for sitting still. Lavish the praise when they sit quietly. As they grow older, they will realize table work time as a positive thing.

[DaydreamingMama]

I wanted to say thank you, for all your great ideas! What I tried out yesterday and today was having one kid watch the babies, with baby tv shows on, while I worked with the other kid. I had to go against my own rules (no TV in the morning, no using TV as a babysitter for the babies), deciding getting more time and one-on-one attention with the big kids was more important.

 

The first day went iffy... little ds was fine, little dd screamed and cried.

 

But today, our second day of trying this, went great. Little dd cried at first, but got over it. And I got an hour of time each with the big kids, giving us time to work on things that are hard to do with noise and craziness around.

 

I asked the kids which way they liked better, and they said they really like this way best.

 

So yay!!! Thank you so much for your help :) Next step is to eventually get the babies to play while I read to them together... but one step at a time. :)

 

~ Rachel

[AuntieM]

Not reading the replies, I will just fire away. First,

 

YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS!

 

You are probably at the hardest part of it. The twins are old enough that they do not sleep all the time, but young enough that they can't just go off and play together. Things will change within the year, I predict.

 

My older child was 2 1/2 when the twins came along, and an eager learner, so when my twinnies were 16 months, we were at the K level. So that's a bit different than where you are. We were doing small increments of lessons anyway, which is what you are now accomplishing with your olders.

 

Generally speaking, I think you need to be sure that your expectations line up with your circumstances. You cannot expect to do all things the way you used to, because your circumstances are so very different. So don't stress yourself out trying to maintain the picture-perfect routine you used to have.

 

Some specific "strategies" that you might want to try:

 

1) Take advantage of nap time, as you are already doing.

 

2) Begin training your twins to non-napping quiet times. I gated mine in separate safe bedrooms to learn to play quietly. I believe it is important for twins to learn to be apart from each other for some times during the day (ha, all the rest of the times, 'til about age 4, mine were stuck together like glue aside from their intentionally-separated independent quiet times!). Anyway, start with 5 minute increments and you may be able to eventually get them up to a good 1/2 hour of contented play while you do a lesson.

 

3) Assemble the "special toys" tub. These are beloved toys that are only available while you are teaching a lesson. "It's science time for the big kids and SPECIAL TOY TIME for the twinnies!" Totally a diversionary tactic. Be sure to pack those toys up at the end of the lesson time to keep 'em special (like the old farmer said, keep a puppy hungry!). Just give the twins a little warning that they only have two minutes left to play so they expect you to put the toys away. They won't get it at first, but eventually they will catch on and look forward to the special toys.

 

4) Start practicing with them now to try to get them to quietly listen while you read a very short story aloud to all the children together (and I do mean short, like starting with a 30 second nursery rhyme, this is perfect Mother Goose time). Set them on different sides, you between them and give each some quiet toys (ie, stuffed animals, foam blocks). Announce that it is reading time, they may play but not talk while you are reading aloud. Sweetly and gently correct them when they chatter. Yes, this is work, and it takes doing it many times before they learn, but the effort is worth it and it will pay off when they build up to longer periods of time and are able to participate quietly without your correction.

 

5) Be prepared, have the older kids' next lesson ready to go at the drop of a hat, copies of worksheets, supplies gathered in a tub, book marked at the proper page, etc. That way when you get the time, you are ready to go. You don't want to lose a teaching time window due to lack of preparation.

 

6) For the next couple of years, you may have to school year-round. Smaller amounts of time during the full year will amount to the same amount of time schooled on a traditional school calendar. This will work to your advantage in math, anyway, as you will not lose time in review at the beginning of each new school year.

 

7) Understand that you may have to shift your own schedule preferences. When my twins were toddlers/preschoolers, if I wanted any quiet writing time, I had to get up at 5 am and take it then. I lost my choice of when I did my own work. I don't know if there's anything prohibiting you from doing that, but if not, I would indeed save the bulk read-aloud time for after the twins are tucked in for the night. Again, this is only for a season.

 

8) Investigate mother's day out programs. I am not usually an advocate of sending the littles out to preschool, but you might find you need this time. When your twins are 4, your oldest will be on the verge of entering high school. For one year, anyway, you may find you need that extra time to make sure the older kids are really where they need to be academically. You may not need this time, but start stashing a little cash away now for the possibility of needing paid help for a season. I had an awesome 12yo mother's helper; her mom would not allow me to pay her more than $5 a day. That dear girl was a lifesaver!

 

Okay, that's all I can think of for now. I do want to encourage you and emphasize again, this is only for a season! The best thing about twins is that they are built in entertainment for one another. While it seems hard now, pretty soon you will find homeschooling with young twins afoot is actually easier that schooling with a much younger single sibling hanging around (trust me, I've done it both ways!).