Birthday party etiquette?

[Gwenny]

I'm planning a party for my dd7 and ds4. They have birthdays a week apart, so they always have a joint party (they like this). My trouble is where to draw the line as to who is invited. We have a small house and small budget and can't possibly invite everyone they would like to have come, but I can't think of how to do it without hurting some friends feelings.

 

We sent invites out a week ago, and since then the kids have now started playing with the 2 new kids down the street everyday. The kids are nice and play together outside for hours everyday. They didn't get an invite, since they didn't play together before. Now I feel like I need to send an invite to them so they don't feel left out. The party is at our house and living in a traditional suburb neighborhood, there is no way to hide that a party is going on in back. What if they came knocking on the door to play during the party?

 

Then what do I do about the annoying kid across the street that enjoys spelling cuss words at my kids? He'll see the party too! Both of my kids hate him, so there is no way we can invite him. What do I say to him when he comes knocking? He ought to know he isn't welcome, but he's not the type of kid to pick up on this sort of thing.

 

On top of all this, the invited girl down the street, went and told annoying kid that she got an invitation and bragged about it!

 

It's too late to have a party somewhere else and I couldn't afford it if I wanted. Since we will be painting little figurines, I have to have space for each child to sit at the table and I'm already at my limit. I keep checking my email every morning hoping one of the invited will decline.

 

So, what would you do in this instance?

 

Gwen

[ChristusG]

Honestly, I wouldn't stress about it. You invite who you can. And if the kids come knocking, just tell them that you dc cannot play right now. No explanation needed.

[katilac]

I would invite the two new friends, if possible. I wouldn't invite the unpleasant boy they don't like, just b/c he will see the party.

 

When neighbor kids knock on our door during a party, I simply tell them that my kids have company and can't play.

[susankenny]

Honestly, I wouldn't stress about it. You invite who you can. And if the kids come knocking, just tell them that you dc cannot play right now. No explanation needed.

 

I agree with others. The only one I might explain it to is the mother of the new kids. Just tell her the party was planned before they moved in & your kids started chumming. Really though, that isn't even necessary - but you could do it if it will make you feel better:)

 

As for snot kid spelling cuss words. Ugh. Really? Don't worry about that child or his parents at all!

 

Susan

[Starr]

I'm one for inviting the whole lot so I would invite the new kids. I haven't had to deal with the pill across the street.

[Danestress]

I personally can't deal with not inviting kids in the neighborhood around the age of my kids, even if I don't like them. No one calls God and says, "Hey, could you make me/my child especially annoying?" At some point people have to learn how to not be annoying and how to deal with the consequences of their annoying behavior, but I don't think that kids the age of your children are there yet. Even the mean kid - at six or seven, I would want to show acceptance and grace. Definitely there comes a point when I wouldn't, but at that age, I would.

 

I would rather not have a proper table with chairs than hurt a child's feelings. Even on their birthdays, I expect my children to be able to accept "it's not all about you." So I would set up an extra card table or do things picnic style or .... anything really, rather than leave close neighbor out who are likely to know.

 

Which doesn't mean that it is wrong to do otherwise. This is my way, but I know it's not the norm and I don't think you have to invite all the kids. It's your decision, obviously. But since you asked ....

[QueenCat]

I would invite the new friends.

[RanchGirl]

I would invite the new friends, and do less expensive activities if necessary to stay within the budget. I'm not sure about the annoying, cussing, child your kids dislike. I would only invite him if your children play with him frequently (which to me would say they don't really dislike him that much) or you are good friends with the family.