mom31257 Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 My dd is really uncomfortable talking with boys her age or older. She is really bothered by it, and it's not just boys she likes. Some of it is that she feels she has nothing in common with the boys she is around (at youth group). She's been involved in a small co-op for a couple of years that have co-ed classes, but her group has continually been more girls and the boys always stay together and don't mix in much for class activities. Things will change at church for next year. Middle school SS and Wed. night classes have boys and girls separate, but they are together for high school. I hope that will help. Most of the kids in our youth group go to the same Christian school or are homeschooled and take classes there part-time. We are considering her taking a class or two during high school, but my dh might be losing his job and we don't know what is going to happen. What can I do to help her? We live in a small community without many activities for homeschoolers to become involved in. Thanks for any advice! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 I know my DD had little in common with most of the boys she knew when she was 14. She would occasionally talk to a boy who sat near her in band class about music stuff, but her friends were all girls. The boys in her class reminded her too much of her brothers.....:tongue_smilie: By the time she hit 16yo, things had changed and she was more outgoing with kids her age of both sexes. So maybe just give it some time? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 I remember that time in my own life (not homeschooled) and I had exactly the same problems. It's an awkward time and yes, just growing older seems to help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom31257 Posted April 11, 2011 Author Share Posted April 11, 2011 I guess I believed that homeschooling was the culprit because neither my dh nor I had trouble and in fact got along better with the opposite sex than our own, even for friendships. I think she sees a lot of the kids in our youth group be really comfortable with each other, but most have grown up there. We only came a little over a year ago, which is a hard time to enter a youth group. I do think time will help, but I hope I can give her some advice in the mean time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 Middle school boys are really often happier as a boy pack. You know snaps and snails and puppy dog tails....If you are really concerned I would find a family to be friends with that has boys and girls in the age range of your children and get together as families. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 Middle school boys are really often happier as a boy pack. You know snaps and snails and puppy dog tails....If you are really concerned I would find a family to be friends with that has boys and girls in the age range of your children and get together as families. :iagree: It is easier when they aren't in a pack! I mentioned this to DD17 and she reminded me that she used to talk to her brother's friend occasionally. I see your son is younger, but maybe you can help your DD talk to the son of a family friend in a more neutral setting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristusG Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 I really think that during those early teenage years, boys and girls tend to remain pretty separate in their friend groups. During the next few years, I think you'll find that it's easier for your daughter to talk with boys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sputterduck Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 I don't know. I would think that was the norm. I have the opposite problem and have always gotten along with boys and not understood how to bond with girls. It's rare that I find a female friend. However, I get along famously with almost every guy I meet. I don't understand things like shoes and purses and why anyone would want to talk about them beyond what is necessary. On the other hand, I really love my truck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 I don't know. I would think that was the norm. I have the opposite problem and have always gotten along with boys and not understood how to bond with girls. It's rare that I find a female friend. However, I get along famously with almost every guy I meet. I don't understand things like shoes and purses and why anyone would want to talk about them beyond what is necessary. On the other hand, I really love my truck. :iagree: All but 2 of my friends in school were boys. For me, they are simply easier to get along with. I still feel that way. Trying to look at commonalities? I like cars, but none of my friend were gearheads or anything. I didn't do fashion, I liked to play outside. Part of it was the sense of humor I think. Also most of the guys I knew tended to let their emotions out then get over it, we never held grudges or were deeply wounded by each others words. Girls can be mean about that. I think teen guys can be intimidating, they seem to live OUT LOUD as a group. If you can get to know them one-on-one they're not that different. That's my experience anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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