Aubrey Posted February 17, 2011 Share Posted February 17, 2011 1. If you call my house, do not call w/ a message for someone else & a threat for me if I do not immediately hang up. You got me out of my chair, made me hunt for the phone, dive through the kitchen, trip over a crying toddler. If I want to listen to your message, remember, it's ME who's paying the phone bill. If you want to honor the privacy deal on the thing your customer signed, you're going to have to get a warm body to make phone calls instead of a computer. 2. If you call my house, do not proceed to TELL ME to hold the line because you "have an important message for me." I apparently don't follow instructions well, have authority issues, AND I don't trust you. I think your "important message" is going to be a sales call & probably for the same person who received phone call #1 above. 3. If you are calling for one of the two reasons above & it's anywhere near 9 o'clock, I'm going to round to the most offensive time & get twice as angry. 4. I can't think of any more, but this is fun. 5. Oh, wait. How about this: I'm sorry your drive home is long & boring & there's nothing on the radio, but if you haven't got anything to say, & you called me at 5:14 4x this week already, you might consider finding someone else to be your personal drive-home entertainment. 6. Your time-slot is 5:34. I already have someone scheduled for the 5:14 drive-home telephone show by Aubrey. Please call back later. (Or don't.) 7. If you need to yell at your kids, remember: I didn't do it. Pull the receiver away from you face. 8. If you need to pull the receiver away from your face, consider calling me back later. Please. 9. If you need to pull the receiver away from your face, and you don't want to call me back (that would be ok), please limit yourself to, say, 1 min on the other line/yelling at your kids & say, 1-2 such disruptions. Beyond that, you really need to reduce the amount of multi-tasking you are attempting (because you're not actually multi-tasking; you're just making me sit on the phone w/ excessive ear sweat). 10. I hate the phone. Please, please, please don't ask me to call you, get offended if I don't, or otherwise suggest the use of or make reference to the telephone. Unless you are my husband. Then, by all means, call, & call often. Shall I post a separate thread w/ a list of suggested topics for you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted February 17, 2011 Share Posted February 17, 2011 And if you are a live person, even my mom, do NOT, after You call ME, put me on hold because you have call waiting and it is beeping at you. If it is important, they will call back. Meanwhile, oops, our line was disconnected (when I hung up). I hand up whenever anyone besides a medical doctor puts me on hold to check an incoming call. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tylianna Posted February 17, 2011 Share Posted February 17, 2011 And if you call me asking for a person that had this number before.... Do NOT ask me if they still live with me, if I know where they are at now and when they moved. The phone number is NOT attached to the house. Do not call me and ask if you may speak to the woman of the house, or ask to speak to my mom :glare: ( although, if it is in person, feel free to think I am too young to be a mom lol ) Do not hang up on your wife because someone else is calling, but NOT answer your call waiting when she is calling.... Don't say "I'm gonna let you go.." when it is YOU that are wanting to go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlmiraGulch Posted February 17, 2011 Share Posted February 17, 2011 Don't say "I'm gonna let you go.." when it is YOU that are wanting to go. Or, don't say "Let me go" as if I'm the one who called you in the first place and is holding you captive on the stupid phone. P.S. I spend half my life on the phone, primarily for my work. I avoid it like the plague except a) when I'm bored and driving (sorry Aubrey!), or b) I have to check on my kids. That's why God created text messaging. And Skype. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted February 17, 2011 Share Posted February 17, 2011 I hate the phone for all of the above reasons. There are a very few select people who have my number. Apparently there was a person down on their luck (I'm being gracious instead of saying deadbeat) who is getting collection calls to my dd's number. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirch Posted February 17, 2011 Share Posted February 17, 2011 1. If you call my house, do not call w/ a message for someone else & a threat for me if I do not immediately hang up. You got me out of my chair, made me hunt for the phone, dive through the kitchen, trip over a crying toddler. If I want to listen to your message, remember, it's ME who's paying the phone bill. If you want to honor the privacy deal on the thing your customer signed, you're going to have to get a warm body to make phone calls instead of a computer. 2. If you call my house, do not proceed to TELL ME to hold the line because you "have an important message for me." I apparently don't follow instructions well, have authority issues, AND I don't trust you. I think your "important message" is going to be a sales call & probably for the same person who received phone call #1 above. Amen and Amen! Preach it, sister. :glare: I hate the phone for all of the above reasons. There are a very few select people who have my number. Apparently there was a person down on their luck (I'm being gracious instead of saying deadbeat) who is getting collection calls to my dd's number. We regularly get calls for at least 3 such people. At least half of our phone calls to our home phone fall into this category. And I'm thinking that someone who is in that situation *probably* isn't going to call back. Especially if they didn't bother to let you know their phone number has changed!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elise1mds Posted February 17, 2011 Share Posted February 17, 2011 Ooo I want to play! --Don't tell me who to call after you're done talking to me! If I want to call someone, I am perfectly capable of picking up the phone and dialing by myself. I really am a big girl! I hate the phone, too. I refuse to even call to get pizza, and let's not even think about insurance companies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted February 17, 2011 Share Posted February 17, 2011 To complain in English, press 1 para quejarse en Espanol, prensa numero dos (I'm sure I butchered that statement, but hey, it was 3 1/2 years of Spanish class 25 years ago, sorry) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alenee Posted February 17, 2011 Share Posted February 17, 2011 Okay I'll add one: Please don't call every single number you have on file for me, only to leave me identical recorded messages. One phone call was too many! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aubrey Posted February 17, 2011 Author Share Posted February 17, 2011 To complain in English, press 1 para quejarse en Espanol, prensa numero dos (I'm sure I butchered that statement, but hey, it was 3 1/2 years of Spanish class 25 years ago, sorry) Oh, I wish. Here, you get "Thank you for calling [Longest Possible Name for a Company.] We're glad you called. We care about your business." No options yet. "Para quejarse en Espanol..." for 5min. THEN, at LAST...options in English. None of which are what I want. And the customer service agent who transfers me followed by the one who accidentally hangs up. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aubrey Posted February 17, 2011 Author Share Posted February 17, 2011 I have terrible phone service AND a phone that doesn't work well. I've had the same service for over 3 yrs now, & my only complaint is that they charge me full price. Unfortunately, my mom got so worried about me one too many times that she sent me a new phone. :glare: That one recently died, inexplicably. Dh brought an old one of his parents' home. The numbers have been worn off, & it's choppy. Ahhhhh. A good phone again. If I get the urge to call someone, I generally call the wrong # because of the rubbed off digits. By then, I'm over the urge. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dinsfamily Posted February 17, 2011 Share Posted February 17, 2011 Love this thread. I hate talking on the phone! I do have one to add: If you are clubbing and want to give out a fake number to someone, don't let it be mine! I do not appreciate the 3am booty calls when I'm 8 mos pg and can't go back to sleep once I've been woken up by the loser you wanted to blow off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted February 17, 2011 Share Posted February 17, 2011 If you are drunk and call me at 3am to come get you from a bar, and I say you have the wrong number, don't argue with me! AND then call me back repeatedly insisting that I am lying to you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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