Poll: When My immediate family all gets together...

[SonshineLearner]

Hey Y'all!

 

So :) How is it?? :) Thought that with all the holidays, it'd be a good time to ask :)

 

Poll to follow in a minute :) Multiple Choices allowed :)

Edited December 26, 2010 by NayfiesMama

[Suzanne in ABQ]

I voted Obligatory Other.

 

My family has some MAJOR dysfunction, mostly centered around a certain person who married into the family (not my dh) and has caused all sorts of problems with every single member of the family at one time or another.

 

But, on Christmas, everyone who comes just pretends everything is wonderful. We're great pretenders. Anyone who doesn't feel like pretending stays away.

[cathmom]

My family of origin cannot all get together. But they all live in another state 400 miles away, and our Christmas here with our 6 younger children was very merry and festive and fun!

[Farrar]

I picked that it's great. That's not to say there's never any conflict, but it's not like there's a moper or a ruiner or anything like that and no one holds grudges if someone annoys them over something or anything like that. Of course, it can still be stressful so it's good to get home too.

[Lolly]

I chose great. There will usually be a squabble between a couple of the younger sets of siblings, but nothing out of everyday normal stuff. (I mean a 5 yo and a 7 yo argue about something.) The adults have pretty much ironed out any differences over the years. We all know that T is going to be a bit annoying. R knows everything about everything. Q can't stand to be around that many people for over 23 hours and needs her space. We all have our little kinks and everyone knows what they are. At this point, we don't push buttons; and we expect certain behaviors and ignore them accordingly. Of course, I am perfect.:D

 

Editing to add: This is for my side of the family. Dh's side...well...that can get interesting sometimes. But, they all seem to be snowed out this year. I don't know whether to be glad or sad. Fil will likely be grumpy for a little bit, but he does not like people on the road if there is even a chance of it snowing. I guess it is better than the for sure blow-up he would have because all is not perfect while they are here.

Edited December 26, 2010 by Lolly

[stephanier.1765]

I voted all is merry but I don't know if I would call it the best time ever. Really it is just a lot of work. However there is no fighting and everyone gets along. My dh was the world's biggest jerk when we got home though. The holidays always bring out the worst in him in private.

[nd293]

As is typical of so many South African families, my extended family is now spread all over the world - my sister is in the USA, a cousin and I are in Australia, an aunt and three of my cousins are in the UK, and the remainding two aunts, my mother and three cousins are still in South Africa. I miss my family.

 

Although we certainly didn't see each other all the time, we got together for Christmas, kids' birthdays, landmark adult birthdays and took a holiday weekend away together every couple of years. While I'm sure I wasn't the only one muttering under my breath to my dh or mother about some or other family member's quirks, there was never any ugliness at family gatherings. Honestly, in the 20+ years I lived near my extended family (from age 9yrs onwards) I only ever remember seeings two "incidents" - both minor, and, as it happens, both involving spouses who subsequently divorced out of the family.

 

As a previous poster said, we all know what to expect of each other, and ignore what needs to be ignored to all have a good time together.

 

This is now my 7th Christmas away from my family, but for some reason this year was the hardest.

 

I miss my family.

 

Nikki

[SonshineLearner]

Sorry Nikki :( That would be hard....

[Audrey]

I put "pretty good... always one with sour grapes." There is one SIL who never comes and we always wonder when she'll ever grow up. Then there are the one or two older folks whose only topics of conversation are the ailments and deaths of themselves and their friends.

 

Other than that, it's a merry occasion.

[Brindee]

I picked other....Because it depends on which side of the family you're talking about.

 

My side of the family is okay, but my brother is more self-interested and my sister has not let go of some past things and tends to look at life negatively. If it's just a day or two it's great! Longer than that and little "issues" can surface. But I love my family anyway! :)

 

My dh's side of the family is very laid back and accepting and positive. We stayed with them for a week last month and there were absolutely NO problems! We all had a great time! LOVE my in-laws! :)