Some questions for adults with ADD, or those who know adults with ADD, etc.

[melissel]

I've been reading Gabor Mate's Scattered, and he could be writing about me :( I have some issues with some of his conclusions (I think, I haven't read enough about ADD in general to really be sure), but in general, I think his descriptions of the parenting, early lives, and tendencies of adults with ADD fit me well.

 

So I'm wondering a few things. How do you KNOW if you have ADD? If I asked DH, he would roll his eyes at me and just say I'm disorganized, scatterbrained, have my hands in too many projects etc. (all in a loving way, of course :D). But when I read some of the descriptions of the way people with ADD think and cope, I see myself often enough to make me really wonder if there's something out there that could help me--meds? Alternative treatments/therapies?

 

If an adult has ADD, are there recommended coping strategies? Are there key books that I should be reading? Supplements I should be taking? Resources I should be checking out?

 

If anyone can speak to this issue and point me in the direction of anything they find helpful, I'd appreciate it.

 

TIA!

[Carrie12345]

This was my favorite self-help book - http://www.amazon.com/Women-Attention-Deficit-Disorder-Disorganization/dp/1887424059

 

To be honest, I've never gone through a full evaluation. I started noticing the signs while slogging through all the research on Autism Spectrum Disorders from the time ds was 4, and eventually put some real focus on adult ADD research, then took that to my GP who knew me well enough to realize I wasn't a drug seeker, and was willing to let me try some meds.

[melissel]

This was my favorite self-help book - http://www.amazon.com/Women-Attention-Deficit-Disorder-Disorganization/dp/1887424059

 

To be honest, I've never gone through a full evaluation. I started noticing the signs while slogging through all the research on Autism Spectrum Disorders from the time ds was 4, and eventually put some real focus on adult ADD research, then took that to my GP who knew me well enough to realize I wasn't a drug seeker, and was willing to let me try some meds.

 

Thanks Carrie. My library system has it, so I guess I'd better get my fines paid up so I can get it!

 

Can you tell me what made you realize that you were truly dealing with this issue? I'm so used to thinking of myself as lazy and sloppy and disorganized. My mantra is, "If I just buckled down and FOCUSED, I could make this work!" I've been saying that for years, about everything--but somehow I just don't ever seem to be able to actually do it!

[Renee in NC]

Thanks Carrie. My library system has it, so I guess I'd better get my fines paid up so I can get it!

 

Can you tell me what made you realize that you were truly dealing with this issue? I'm so used to thinking of myself as lazy and sloppy and disorganized. My mantra is, "If I just buckled down and FOCUSED, I could make this work!" I've been saying that for years, about everything--but somehow I just don't ever seem to be able to actually do it!

 

I have always said to myself what you say to yourself. Sometimes I seemed to have it more together - usually when I got a handle on things and kept to a strict routine to maintain what I had been able to accomplish. I lost that ability about child #5 or so!:tongue_smilie: I was lazy, sloppy, disorganized, etc. I was an incredible underachiever and never seemed to actually finish anything I started.

 

It had always been the family joke that mama had ADD. It wasn't until my 9yo was diagnosed that I really looked into it. One of the pamphlets sent home with him was about Adult ADD - I had all the symptoms!I convinced the psych to prescribe meds to me and my life has been changed dramatically.

 

The biggest things for me were the sensory issues (I am hypersensitive), the irritability (caused by the hypersensitivity), and the inability to do much of anything. I would say that 95% of my symptoms are gone with meds and I am in a position to deal with the other 5%, no problem.

 

I am reading some books and working through some things as I move towards returning to work. I am preparing for the onslaught of work by mentally preparing myself for how I will handle it. I am putting in place routines that will help me get done at home what needs to be done.

 

I am achieving goals (like losing weight and studying for the CPA exam), keeping my house cleaner more easily, etc. Most of all, I can *think* clearly and then *remember* what I was thinking about!:lol: (My dc would call my ability to remember things a downside!;)) I am way, way more assertive because I can tackle a situation head-on without being overwhelmed.

 

Life changing - not just for me, but also for my whole family.

[Miss Sherry]

Renee, what books do you recommend ?

[k2bdeutmeyer]

I am all ears!!! This is me.....I am certain I have ADD.

[Renee in NC]

Renee, what books do you recommend ?

 

The two I am reading are not ADD-specific, but they fit what I need to work on personally:

 

Time Well Spent: Getting Things Done Through Effective Time Management by Paul Loftus

 

and

 

Never Check Your Email in the Morning by Julie Morgenstern.

 

Another good book is Maximum Success by James Waldroop. The subtitle is "Changing the 12 Behavior Patterns that Keep You From Getting Ahead." All 3 books could apply to anyone, but overall the expected audience is working professionals (mostly in the business world.)

 

The things that work best for me overall are planning, lists, routines, and my notebook (where I keep my brain.;)) I didn't buy an organizer or planner - I came up with my own based on what works for me. I am also better able to delegate things to other people and not feel as responsible for the outcome (leaving dh with the 3 school-age dc while I went to NC, for example.)

[melissel]

The biggest things for me were the sensory issues (I am hypersensitive), the irritability (caused by the hypersensitivity), and the inability to do much of anything.

 

Oh, Renee, I could just cry to hear you say this. It sounds just like me! I had a total mental meltdown yesterday after 24 hours at Great Wolf Lodge with DH and the kids. I didn't even realize how overwhelmed I was until my switch suddenly flipped and I melted down. I'm mean and irritable on a daily basis from trying to pull it all together unsuccessfully, and I feel paralyzed. Nothing is getting down around here except school (and not to my satisfaction).

 

OK, I'm going to have to go further with this. Thanks for the book recommendations. I have what I think is a good organizational system set up, but most days I can't even bring myself to take my notebook out of my purse *sigh*

 

ETA: I just looked at a checklist of symptoms. According to the article, if you can say yes to 10 of the symptoms, you probably have ADD. I can say a definite yes to 17 of them, and 5 are arguable. I really wish I'd started looking into this years ago. It would have saved me so much suffering and DH and I a lot of conflict, I think :(

Edited December 12, 2010 by melissel

[k2bdeutmeyer]

I just looked at a questionaire and found the one question that is my BIGGEST issue!! "How often do you avoid or put off tasks that involve a lot of thought?"

 

THAT is me. And then when I avoid I end up procrastinating too long and get myself in bad situations where other people were counting on me. Oy.

[Renee in NC]

Oh, Renee, I could just cry to hear you say this. It sounds just like me! I had a total mental meltdown yesterday after 24 hours at Great Wolf Lodge with DH and the kids. I didn't even realize how overwhelmed I was until my switch suddenly flipped and I melted down. I'm mean and irritable on a daily basis from trying to pull it all together unsuccessfully, and I feel paralyzed. Nothing is getting down around here except school (and not to my satisfaction).

 

OK, I'm going to have to go further with this. Thanks for the book recommendations. I have what I think is a good organizational system set up, but most days I can't even bring myself to take my notebook out of my purse *sigh*

 

ETA: I just looked at a checklist of symptoms. According to the article, if you can say yes to 10 of the symptoms, you probably have ADD. I can say a definite yes to 17 of them, and 5 are arguable. I really wish I'd started looking into this years ago. It would have saved me so much suffering and DH and I a lot of conflict, I think :(

 

:grouphug: I would NEVER have believed the difference if I hadn't tried meds. My ds's problems were different than mine (see the other thread) but the meds have been absolutely miraculous for him as well. I am on Vyvanse - my side effects are dry mouth and appetite suppression/weight loss (but that is a PLUS!:lol:) The effects last 13+ hours everyday.

 

I'll agree with what others have said, though, that meds are not the answer - they are simply something to get you to where you CAN do what is necessary to accomodate the ADD. Without working at it, I probably still wouldn't be getting much done, but I am in a position now to work at it.

 

I don't know that we would be moving forward with our lives if not for this.

[Carrie12345]

Thanks Carrie. My library system has it, so I guess I'd better get my fines paid up so I can get it!

 

Can you tell me what made you realize that you were truly dealing with this issue? I'm so used to thinking of myself as lazy and sloppy and disorganized. My mantra is, "If I just buckled down and FOCUSED, I could make this work!" I've been saying that for years, about everything--but somehow I just don't ever seem to be able to actually do it!

 

I used to always joke that I must be ADD, lol. When ds was going through AS evals, there was a lot of family history involved, so seeing all of my quirks in black and white was a bit of a tip off! When we learned that ADD is often co-morbid with AS, I started to search for signs that it might be the case for ds. We were able to rule it out for him, but not so much for me, lol.

 

Because I'm a sahm with few "official" commitments, it was more difficult to know for sure. One of the criteria is that behaviors occur in more than one setting, and that's awfully hard to prove when you don't have work, school, or other similar hours elsewhere! My former school history was pretty telling though.

I was always pegged as the classic "smart but lazy" student. I aced classes with clear instructions and failed or dropped classes with vague or complicated requirements. I was actually brought to tears in 7th grade shop class b/c I couldn't grasp the concept of making a rubber band powered car, and I dropped Freshman Comp in college b/c I couldn't find the classroom.

I never understood studying, rarely ever did homework, and would stay up all night worrying about projects, but be completely unable to actually DO them. Major executive functioning issues!

Most of all, I've always felt stupid despite knowing deep down that I'm pretty smart. My self esteem sucked from about the 3rd grade or so, when all of my report cards began saying "Doesn't make enough effort/Talks too much/Needs to try harder/Not using full potential" Nobody ever believed me when I swore I was giving it my all.

[Renee in NC]

I just looked at a questionaire and found the one question that is my BIGGEST issue!! "How often do you avoid or put off tasks that involve a lot of thought?"

 

THAT is me. And then when I avoid I end up procrastinating too long and get myself in bad situations where other people were counting on me. Oy.

 

I am the same way, but even with meds I have to fight off the *habit* of procrastination. That's why I say it is work (but possible with meds when it never would have happened without them.)

[Renee in NC]

Because I'm a sahm with few "official" commitments, it was more difficult to know for sure. One of the criteria is that behaviors occur in more than one setting, and that's awfully hard to prove when you don't have work, school, or other similar hours elsewhere!

 

My former school history was pretty telling though.

I was always pegged as the classic "smart but lazy" student. I aced classes with clear instructions and failed or dropped classes with vague or complicated requirements. I was actually brought to tears in 7th grade shop class b/c I couldn't grasp the concept of making a rubber band powered car, and I dropped Freshman Comp in college b/c I couldn't find the classroom.I never understood studying, rarely ever did homework, and would stay up all night worrying about projects, but be completely unable to actually DO them. Major executive functioning issues!

 

Most of all, I've always felt stupid despite knowing deep down that I'm pretty smart. My self esteem sucked from about the 3rd grade or so, when all of my report cards began saying "Doesn't make enough effort/Talks too much/Needs to try harder/Not using full potential" Nobody ever believed me when I swore I was giving it my all.

 

This is me, too, except for me it was 7th grade home ec where I couldn't seem to get it together (and other classes as well!) Before that I had *no* academic issues because I was AG and school was too easy for me. I never transitioned to middle/high school well. I dropped out a few weeks into the 11th grade. I did eventually get a 4 year degree, but it took 10 years, 4 colleges, and 198 credit hours!:lol:

 

To prove that I had the symptoms in other settings, the psych asked me about past times when I *did* function in other settings. I am/was very good at what I do, but my disorganization would get in the way (and the struggle I had with finishing things.) I already mentioned the school issues. At home, I was a mess - I was *always* looking for someone's shoes, or my dc were wearing mismatched clothes because the laundry was piled up, etc.

 

If I could change anything, I would go back to high school and start over, but on meds this time.:tongue_smilie:

[WeeBeaks]

My DH is diagnosed as an adult as ADD. He says being medicated was just like a fog lifting, suddenly being much more clear mentally and able to focus without thousands of different directions in his head at once.

 

Looking back, he has been a clear case since a child. I wish he could have experienced medication earlier as he feels he would have made a huge difference in his performance in college and what he got out of it. He struggled hard. It helps him at work a lot now.

 

My son was diagnosed, and my DH was diagnosed a couple years after DS.

 

Coping things for my DH are his iphone with all kinds of alarms and reminders set up. He has to really focus on not just remembering anything but having an external reminder set up for him. That is his biggest problem.

 

He is a massive slob honestly, but I keep the house under control. The garage and his desk (his territory) look like they blew up and are a source of conflict. I usually have to stand next to him and redirect to get him to focus on them and clean them. He also seems to have some sort of associated hoarding thing going on that a lot of ADD people seem to report.

 

He has a huge problem completing any project no matter how large or small. He gets about 75% of the way and stalls, then moves on to something else, leaving a series of incomplete projects in his wake.

 

Good books per him are Driven to Distraction and Delivered from Distraction by the same author (Hallowell).

[JenneinCA]

My husband went through the process to find out about adult ADD. He filled out questionnaires. I filled out questionnaires. We looked at his experiences in elementary school. The doctor said it was entirely possible he had ADD. So he tried Adderal. And there was no difference. He didn't experience the great change. It didn't help.

 

After hoping that it would work for 6 months, he gave up with the medicine and we worked on other ways to deal with the distractibility. Ultimately he depends on his phone to keep track of his calendar, phone numbers and everything else. The phone is his lifeline to organization. I input everything into Google Calendar and it updates to his schedule. I send everything to his email so he has it at all times. It isn't perfect but it works for us.

[Renee in NC]

My husband went through the process to find out about adult ADD. He filled out questionnaires. I filled out questionnaires. We looked at his experiences in elementary school. The doctor said it was entirely possible he had ADD. So he tried Adderal. And there was no difference. He didn't experience the great change. It didn't help.

 

After hoping that it would work for 6 months, he gave up with the medicine and we worked on other ways to deal with the distractibility. Ultimately he depends on his phone to keep track of his calendar, phone numbers and everything else. The phone is his lifeline to organization. I input everything into Google Calendar and it updates to his schedule. I send everything to his email so he has it at all times. It isn't perfect but it works for us.

 

Did he try anything other than Adderall? It had to be very frustrating to go through all of that and not have any results!

 

One thing this made me think of - I had been self-medicating with large amounts of caffeine before I tried meds. Caffeine never made me hyper and I could even drink coffee before bed and it wouldn't keep me up.:001_huh:

[JenneinCA]

No, he didn't try other medicine.

 

The doctor said that if he didn't experience any good effects that the stimulant medicine was unlikely to be helpful. If he had experienced good effects then changing medicine to deal with side effects might have made sense. My husband was disappointed that the medicine didn't help. He wanted the ability to concentrate on something when other things are going on.

[Jen in PA]

I actually brought it up with my doctor because I knew that my attention span as an adult was not what it had been when I was younger. I also have huge upsurges in energy that I never experienced when I was younger. I was a perfect fit on every checklist they gave me on ADHD (hyperactive), the doc was willing to write the prescription (Straterra was the suggested one), but the side effects on the meds were a bit too scary for me. I have settled for taking a ton of fish oil (which helps a lot), and easing up on my own expectations (which helps with the rest).

[Jen in PA]

Caffeine never made me hyper and I could even drink coffee before bed and it wouldn't keep me up.:001_huh:

 

 

Caffeine works WONDERS for me. Doesn't keep me up and gives me the ability to focus.

[lamamaloca]

How do you KNOW if you have ADD?

 

You need to be diagnosed by a professional experienced with ADD. I saw a neuropsychologist who went through a number of scripted interviews and tests with me. The symptoms of ADD can be very similar to the symptoms of other conditions, such as depression, bipolar, and also things like thyroid problems.

 

Medication made a tremendous difference for me, and I'm having a hard time coping now that I'm pregnant and unable to take my medication. There are also organization and self-help type strategies, but none are as effective as meds. Whether you would need meds would probably depend on how the ADHD is affecting your life, it was severely affecting mine (ie. I was exploding into rages). If one med doesn't work, another may. I did very well on Vyvanse.

 

FWIW, I have ALWAYS been very sensitive to caffeine, including becoming jittery, unable to sleep, and having blood sugar swings, and actually had fewer side effects taking medications than from drinking a couple cups of coffee.

 

I like these books:

http://www.amazon.com/Taking-Charge-Adult-Russell-Barkley/dp/1606233386

http://www.amazon.com/Delivered-Distraction-Getting-Attention-Disorder/dp/0345442318/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1292120348&sr=1-1

[Stacy in NJ]

There actually is no ADD diagnosis; it's really ADHD inattention variety.

 

My youngest ds was evaluated for TS (Tourette's Syndrome) and the doctor (pediatic neuro) did an ADHD evaluation at the same time. He was diagnosed with both but doesn't use any meds.

 

At that point the doctor told me that ADHD was genetic and asked if any other member of the family might be affected. He asked some basic question and concluded that I should have a more complete evaluation. I went through a lengthy evaluation process and *suprise* (not) was diagnosed as well. Neither DS or I have ever medicated, and I have no intention of doing so.

 

I think the whole ADHD thing to a certain extent is nonsense. While some people with the diagnosis maybe significantly affected - most aren't. The meds don't work anyways (studies show over a period of time they loose their effectiveness). Mostly, they're placebo's.

[Miss Sherry]

The two I am reading are not ADD-specific, but they fit what I need to work on personally:

 

Time Well Spent: Getting Things Done Through Effective Time Management by Paul Loftus

 

and

 

Never Check Your Email in the Morning by Julie Morgenstern.

 

Another good book is Maximum Success by James Waldroop. The subtitle is "Changing the 12 Behavior Patterns that Keep You From Getting Ahead." All 3 books could apply to anyone, but overall the expected audience is working professionals (mostly in the business world.)

 

The things that work best for me overall are planning, lists, routines, and my notebook (where I keep my brain.;)) I didn't buy an organizer or planner - I came up with my own based on what works for me. I am also better able to delegate things to other people and not feel as responsible for the outcome (leaving dh with the 3 school-age dc while I went to NC, for example.)

Thank you Renee. :001_smile:

[Renee in NC]

There actually is no ADD diagnosis; it's really ADHD inattention variety.

 

My youngest ds was evaluated for TS (Tourette's Syndrome) and the doctor (pediatic neuro) did an ADHD evaluation at the same time. He was diagnosed with both but doesn't use any meds.

 

At that point the doctor told me that ADHD was genetic and asked if any other member of the family might be affected. He asked some basic question and concluded that I should have a more complete evaluation. I went through a lengthy evaluation process and *suprise* (not) was diagnosed as well. Neither DS or I have ever medicated, and I have no intention of doing so.

 

I think the whole ADHD thing to a certain extent is nonsense. While some people with the diagnosis maybe significantly affected - most aren't. The meds don't work anyways (studies show over a period of time they loose their effectiveness). Mostly, they're placebo's.

 

Actually, it is ADD-Inattentive, ADD-Impulsive/Hyperactive, and ADD-Mixed.

 

I was going to say more, but you know what? Good for you.

 

I'll take my "nonsense" and "placebos" everyday over what I went through and what my ds went through without a second thought.

[kitten18]

I've been reading all these adult ADD threads the last few months and they've been really helpful to me.

I just picked up The Everything Guide to Adult ADD at the bookstore today. I don't think that it's probably the best book out there but it has some tips on gathering information on your past and how to keep track of symptoms. I wanted to do some of that before I go to my doctor.

I was reading Delivered from Distraction (I think it was that book). What he calls type 2 (inattentive) describes me PERFECTLY!

 

I'm not sure who to go to for help. I started taking a small dose of Celexa about 6 months ago (a very rough year, my Mom died, my brother had a heart attack, my nephew was critically injured in a car accident, etc.). I started the Celexa because I was weepy and overwhelmed but if I really think about it, I might be overwhelmed more because of ADD than from depression.

We belong to an HMO and I can see a psychiatrist or a psychologist (I know they don't prescribe but they can work with my PCP) or start with my PCP (she is the one who prescribed the Celexa).

[Stacy in NJ]

Actually, it is ADD-Inattentive, ADD-Impulsive/Hyperactive, and ADD-Mixed.

 

I was going to say more, but you know what? Good for you.

 

I'll take my "nonsense" and "placebos" everyday over what I went through and what my ds went through without a second thought.

 

I'm glad it works for you.

[Renee in NC]

:D

[cin]

I loved this book. The title alone was helpful, let alone reading it. I was fortunate to find a social worker/therapist who works with ADD near my home. (I mean, 3 minutes away!).

 

He sent his report (mild ADD) to my MD, who started me on adderall, 20 mg, 2X day. It is incredible. I can REALLY focus on things now and COMPLETE tasks. I can take my kids to the grocery with me and NOT blow up because my brain is short circuiting.

 

I am on the generic adderall, so I take it 2X day. usually 8 or 9 AM and 1-2 PM. If I don't take the afternoon dose, I do crash and usually end up napping :).