Prairie~Phlox Posted November 25, 2010 Share Posted November 25, 2010 Our stylist has recommended a few times to dd that a hair relaxer would help with her course slightly wavy hair. But it would be $75 and that would last a year. Anyone had a hair relaxer before or have any advice? Thanks, Phlox Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbeyej Posted November 25, 2010 Share Posted November 25, 2010 I used to have my hair relaxed when I was about that age. Now, I'm a white girl with very thick, very curly hair. I would go to a salon where I stood out like a sore thumb, but they did a great job with my hair. ;) Anyway, I always really liked it for about two weeks. Then the frizzies would begin to come back at the scalp as my hair grew. While I suppose the straightness at the ends of the hair lasted for many months, I had to go back in to have my scalp re-done regularly (like redoing the roots on a dye job). Eventually we decided it really wasn't worth it. We were concerned about the damage to my hair, and the maintenance was a huge pain anyway. Granted, lol, this has been more than 15 years. Maybe things have changed -- but I still don't see how they could keep the new growth hair from coming in just as textured as it did before... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted November 25, 2010 Share Posted November 25, 2010 Don't know if I'll have the best advice, but my step-sister has super curly hair and one year when she was about that age and considering getting the really expensive relaxers put in, my mom paid for her to get some "one day" version of it for her in the salon to see if she liked it. I think it was a birthday present for her one year. Anyway, it lasted for a few days, but she decided she didn't like it and didn't want to do the heavy duty stuff. She said it was worth it to see what it looked like though because it was completely different. Now, she's an adult and she has gone several times (back when she lived in NYC) to a special salon that specializes in curly hair. She said it was like a revelation. I actually know a couple of other women who have gone to that same salon in NY just to get their curly hair done. Apparently a whole bunch of the experience is about having pride in your curly hair. They apparently cut each curl separately instead of trying to comb it all out. They teach you to use certain types of products and not to wash your hair with shampoo but maybe once a week. They have a whole method. Hearing my step-sister describe all this was just fascinating for straight-haired 'ol me. Anyway, maybe there's a better method for helping her take care of it that most salons don't know or appreciate. I don't know all the ins and outs of that, but it's just a thought. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gingersmom Posted November 25, 2010 Share Posted November 25, 2010 My daughter have several friends with super curly hair that have a treatment done to straighten their hair. It lasts maybe 2 months, definitely not a full year. I can't imagine how strong a product would have to be that you only have to apply it once a year. And I also imagine it would cost more than $75. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murmer Posted November 25, 2010 Share Posted November 25, 2010 It is a strong chemical used when hair is relaxed. It is techniqally a perm. It takes work to keep it nice and it has to be redone every 6 weeks to keep it nice. I know that I will not relax my dd's hair until she pays for it herself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted November 25, 2010 Share Posted November 25, 2010 The old hair may stay straight but the new hair won't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ecj98 Posted November 25, 2010 Share Posted November 25, 2010 Can you just spend the $75 and get a salon quality straightening iron like a Chi? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaT Posted November 25, 2010 Share Posted November 25, 2010 The old hair may stay straight but the new hair won't. :iagree: It doesn't last that long and it REALLY damaged my dd's hair. I won't ever let her do it again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nova mama Posted November 25, 2010 Share Posted November 25, 2010 I started to quote a whole bunch of posts, but I basically agree with what most previous posters have said. :001_smile: 1. It would have to be a serious process to last a year, which would give me pause for a 13-year-old. Even the every-6-to-8-week kind that many African American women get is serious. 2. Eventually, new curly hair will grow in. Then DD will have two textures on her head. 3. Caring for relaxed hair is different from caring for virgin hair. I would wait until my daughter has the maturity (and money) to do this herself. 4. Unless DD's hair is extremely unmanageable, consider finding a new stylist who can deal with what is probably very beautiful curly hair. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbeyej Posted November 25, 2010 Share Posted November 25, 2010 BTW, I want to second the idea that learning to deal with my curly hair has been truly revelatory to me. I was in my mid-twenties by the time I *finally* learned how to care for and work *with* my hair rather than constantly fighting it. I only wish I could have figured these things out a quarter of a century sooner. I don't know exactly what sort of hair your daughter has -- her ethnic background, her hair type -- but really, finding a way to let my hair be the kind of hair it *is* and work within that... It's made all the difference in the world. Much more so than trying to fry it with relaxers or blow dry it out or drown it in gel, etc, etc, could ever do. I found some help in the methods from the book "Curly Girl". I don't follow it exactly, but it started me on the right path with my hair. I'd also consider looking for a new stylist. Someone who *likes* working with hair like your daughter's and won't try to pressure you to try chemical treatments that will be difficult and costly for you to maintain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted November 25, 2010 Share Posted November 25, 2010 Isn't that the truth? I am so sick of every hairdresser telling me to dye mine. Since I was about 20. I think they like the idea of touch ups every 6 weeks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mary in VA Posted November 25, 2010 Share Posted November 25, 2010 BTW, I want to second the idea that learning to deal with my curly hair has been truly revelatory to me. I was in my mid-twenties by the time I *finally* learned how to care for and work *with* my hair rather than constantly fighting it. I only wish I could have figured these things out a quarter of a century sooner. I don't know exactly what sort of hair your daughter has -- her ethnic background, her hair type -- but really, finding a way to let my hair be the kind of hair it *is* and work within that... It's made all the difference in the world. Much more so than trying to fry it with relaxers or blow dry it out or drown it in gel, etc, etc, could ever do. I found some help in the methods from the book "Curly Girl". I don't follow it exactly, but it started me on the right path with my hair. I'd also consider looking for a new stylist. Someone who *likes* working with hair like your daughter's and won't try to pressure you to try chemical treatments that will be difficult and costly for you to maintain. :iagree: There are "Curly Hair Specialists" now and a cut for curly hair can make all the difference! They can make the cut work with the natural curl of the hair instead of always fighting it. That and the right products can make all the difference between hating your hair and embracing the curliness. I have two curly haired dds. (mine is stick straight) The 20 yo started to come to terms with her hair about 4 years ago. It took finding the right products and working with them. Her 16 yo sister has INCREDIBLY curly hair. Much more than my oldest. She has always kept it long so the weight would control the curl. Last week she got it cut chin length and loves it. Talk about curl!! She uses totally different products than her sister. There was a lot of trial and error to find the right products for each of them. If your dd can come to terms with her hair and learn to love it, or at least like it, it will be so much easier throughout her life. My 16 yo still says sometimes she wishes she could just shave her head. :001_smile: HTH, Mary Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mothersweets Posted November 25, 2010 Share Posted November 25, 2010 Can you just spend the $75 and get a salon quality straightening iron like a Chi? :iagree:This can work wonders! Three of my dds have coarse, wavy hair and since they have started using a flat iron they now love their hair. We also recently found another Chi product called Straight Guard and it is a miracle worker! You put a pea sized amount through your hair after you shower and style like you normally do. It helps to keep your hair straight, swingy, and no-frizz but it is NOT greasy or heavy at all! I've used it the past four days (to control a little frizz) and can't believe how much nicer my hair is. We bought ours at our local Wallyworld for $15. Worth every penny. hth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prairie~Phlox Posted November 26, 2010 Author Share Posted November 26, 2010 Thanks everyone. Her hair is not that curly just a few waves, but coarse. I already own an expensive flat iron. We use it sometimes, just thought I'd see what others had to say about the relaxer. Thanks. Phlox Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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