Homeschooling a child with ADHD

[Cindyz]

My son is almost 6 and was just diagnosed with ADHD.

 

He is not having problems learning with us and I am pleased with his progress so far. However I'm wondering how other parents handle certain things about their ADHD child when home schooling. For instance, my son has a hard time sitting still in his chair and will jump up from his seat over every little thing. He will get out of his seat when an idea strikes him or he is excited about something we are learning. When we do spelling he literally falls on the floor and rolls around after writing each and every word. He will go off on tangents that ARE related to what we are learning and I feel bad constantly telling him no when he asks if he can go get such and such book to look at something we learned a few days ago that his current lesson reminded him of. I do often say yes, but his little mind is constantly going off and if I always said yes, we'd get nothing done. I guess after typing that, I realize that we would get things done, but it wouldn't be the direction that I want to go and it would take longer to get where I think we should head.

 

Also, he is constantly singing and making noises. He literally starts singing the moment he opens his eyes in the morning before his feet hit the floor and is always talking, singing or making noises. There are times that I will indulge him and allow it. For instance when he's making art or coloring or working on a hands on project or when we are between lessons, and sometimes during handwriting practice he can make noises as much and as loud as he wants. He can also do this whenever he wants when we're not doing lessons. However, during subjects like math and spelling, I'd like him to sit quietly and listen so that he can learn. Btw, the noises and such are not tourettes afaik because he can stop them when asked and doesn't do it when we're at the movies, watching a show, reading books, etc. He does learn and he learns quick, but I have to constantly tell him to please be quiet or stop the noises and listen and to look with his eyes (sometimes when you tell him to look he will turn his head to look but his eyes are still looking off the other way).

 

So while I'm pleased with his progress, I do wonder what incredible things he could do if he was able to actually focus.

 

Basically I'm looking for any type of advice from parents who have been there and done that as far as behavioral techniques, possible medication (we've been resistant but wondering), dietary considerations that have worked for others, etc.

 

Thanks so much!

[elise1mds]

You might want to head over to the Special Needs board and see what has been written there for diet change ideas, techniques, etc. - it's an amazing place and there are lots of good suggestions.

 

For my own part, my son is unmedicated now, and I deal with a lot of the same stuff you do. We're in our second year homeschooling, and like you, I can ignore the noises and interruptions in most subjects. My problem is that he'll go off on huge tangents mentally, and I can see the effects in his work. Math is the worst, because it requires the most focus for him. It'll take him 45 minutes to do a page, and even then I'm sitting there reminding him *constantly* to work. He'll ask/talk/chatter about topics completely unrelated to school or toss his pencil into the air or drill holes into his eraser or just hum or bounce or whatever, and it's frustrating. Anyway, on the 'bad' days where he really has a hard time focusing, he'll wind up missing and having to redo a lot of problems. If I do the math page with him orally, he KNOWS how to do it, but he can't focus. I've had a lot of success with 8 oz. of coffee (and some creamer to make it palatable) to help him focus, since the meds that worked best with him were stimulants. Coffee is cheaper and wears off about the time we're done with school for the day, so that's my son's 'med' for now. As he gets older and has to work more hours, we may have to look at medication again, but for now, this works.

 

I notice you say you have problems with eye contact. That can be normal. The thing to take notice of is whether he is still listening or not when his eyes are elsewhere. I was once told (by a friend of mine who was told by her daughter's therapist; the daughter has RAD) that when they make that short eye contact, they're 'checking in,' and then they're usually still listening when their eyes wander. I have found that to be pretty accurate, because my son can repeat a lot of stuff back to me even if his eyes have been elsewhere the whole time. It drives me crazy, but I've gotten used to it.

 

Anyway, that's my two cents. Sounds like you and your little dude are doing great! Go mom!

[Cindyz]

You might want to head over to the Special Needs board and see what has been written there for diet change ideas, techniques, etc. - it's an amazing place and there are lots of good suggestions.

 

For my own part, my son is unmedicated now, and I deal with a lot of the same stuff you do. We're in our second year homeschooling, and like you, I can ignore the noises and interruptions in most subjects. My problem is that he'll go off on huge tangents mentally, and I can see the effects in his work. Math is the worst, because it requires the most focus for him. It'll take him 45 minutes to do a page, and even then I'm sitting there reminding him *constantly* to work. He'll ask/talk/chatter about topics completely unrelated to school or toss his pencil into the air or drill holes into his eraser or just hum or bounce or whatever, and it's frustrating. Anyway, on the 'bad' days where he really has a hard time focusing, he'll wind up missing and having to redo a lot of problems. If I do the math page with him orally, he KNOWS how to do it, but he can't focus. I've had a lot of success with 8 oz. of coffee (and some creamer to make it palatable) to help him focus, since the meds that worked best with him were stimulants. Coffee is cheaper and wears off about the time we're done with school for the day, so that's my son's 'med' for now. As he gets older and has to work more hours, we may have to look at medication again, but for now, this works.

 

I notice you say you have problems with eye contact. That can be normal. The thing to take notice of is whether he is still listening or not when his eyes are elsewhere. I was once told (by a friend of mine who was told by her daughter's therapist; the daughter has RAD) that when they make that short eye contact, they're 'checking in,' and then they're usually still listening when their eyes wander. I have found that to be pretty accurate, because my son can repeat a lot of stuff back to me even if his eyes have been elsewhere the whole time. It drives me crazy, but I've gotten used to it.

 

Anyway, that's my two cents. Sounds like you and your little dude are doing great! Go mom!

 

Thanks Sarah! :)

 

You're right he is listening and taking it in even if he's not looking. There are some things that do require him to look though. He doesn't have to look at me (he does have very poor eye contact in general), but he does need to look at his paper or watch how to work an example math problem or look up to the board for spelling, etc.

 

Did you medicate your son in the past and then decide that it wasn't for you? Or has your son always been unmedicated?

 

We have a dr. appt on Monday to discuss medication. We're interested in something that is short acting and can be taken only a couple of days per week. He attends an alternative school for homeschoolers twice a week and while he absolutely loves it and does not want to stop going, his behavior is very disruptive in the classroom and he has a hard time getting along with peers since he is always putting his face into their personal space and making noises at them, etc.

[SweetMissMagnolia]

that sounds like my son....he's almost 8 now....and has been on medicines for about 3 months---and I can tell a difference in alot of the things like ability to focus----before being on meds when we do lessons we would take frequent breaks in between subjects or we would split a subject and stop whenever he would lose interest/focus.....now since we are on meds we can do longer stretches of study....my son is either talking or making some noise like yours from the moment he's UP and awake for the day to the minute he's asleep (and sometimes talks in his sleep) LOL--haven't seen much of a change in that since meds but that really didn't bother me that much (most days LOL)....

 

I struggled terribly in deciding whether or not to medicate and we didn't for about 6months after our diagnosis of add/adhd (my son also has asperger's asd)....

[cindergretta]

We struggled for a long time with whether or not to medicate. It was such a tough call to make. The final decision ended up having nothing to do with school and everything to do with keeping him safe. It was getting to where he was so out in his own world that we couldn't prevent him from hurting himself. (He wasn't learning much of anything, either.)

 

We put him on Ritalin and that day, he learned to write his name. We almost cried. He was so happy and proud of himself! We only use it when he is going to "do school" or when we are going to be in a situation where we need to keep him safe, like field trips or pumpkin carving, etc.

 

We don't like him having him on meds every day. But he is happy on the meds. He likes being able to focus and learn. (He isn't unhappy when he isn't on the meds. But you can see the pride in him when he learns new things, which he simply can't do without the meds.)

 

HTH :)

[mykdsmomy]

My ds6 has ADHD, (among other things) and ds10 has ADD. The one thing I would recommend are some sensory items to help him get through his day. One thing that has been helping ds10 is to sit on a therapy ball (yoga type ball) and sort of bounce and sway as he does his work.

He also seems to concentrate better when he's chewing gum.

 

Ds6 does well when he's in a cocoon made of blankets or if he's sitting in a laundry basket with a blanket. He likes the pressure.

 

These are things that help regulate my boys so they can actually accomplish their work (which is a feat in and of itself). Their little brains are going 90 miles an hour from the second they wake up, til they fall asleep. They often can't tune out external stimuli either so try out a few different scenarios. See if absolute silence (not even white noise) will work....then try adding in white noise, then maybe classical music. Experiment until you find what works best for him to help him concentrate. It's tough, I know. Good luck!!!

 

ETA: Ds6 is not on medication for the ADHD because they aggravate his rage. We had to pick the lesser of two evils when deciding what to treat...but we do give him fish oil and I see that is making a difference.

[Kates]

One thing I would mention - make sure it's actually ADHD. In some areas, this diagnosis is handed out like candy. Quite frankly, he sounds like a 6yo boy more than he sounds like ADHD.

 

Can he focus, if he wants to? Can he hold the same line of thought, even if he's active while doing so? If so, it may not be ADHD - it may just be that he's 6 and very kinesthetic. The two are often confused.

 

ADHD kids have a brain chemical imbalance that literally causes them to focus on everything at once - meaning, they can't focus on any one thing for longer than a few seconds. They are literally human pinball machines, zinging from one thing to the next. It's like evidence of perpetual motion. A friend of mine's son is ADHD, and when he's not medicated, just watching him go is enough to exhaust anyone. He literally can't focus long enough to carry out a short conversation or receive short instructions.

 

Kinesthetic kids, on the other hand, can focus well - they just need to move in order to do so. Movement is what triggers the learning and retention process for them, so they're naturally drawn to doing so. They want to learn, and they understand and retain the info incredibly well IF they're allowed to move. If not...wow, talk about a blank slate. They'll work so hard to not move that they honestly don't pick up a thing that's going on.

 

You said your son is learning, he's just always moving, and zipping and zapping (noises). This really sounds more like a kinesthetic learning style than anything else. It might sound wierd, but I'd say to take advantage of it. Let him move! Give him manipulative letters to spell his words with; laminate flash cards and stick them up all over the house with poster tacky - then give him a dry erase marker and tell him to go for it. Do memory work while rolling a ball back and forth, or bouncing on the trampoline, or walking up and down the stairs. Spray shaving cream on the windows and let him practice forming his letters in it.

 

Is the point to get him to sit still and do a traditional workbook, or is it for him to learn? I'd really try the hands-on stuff and see if it works. If it does, I'd hazard a guess that he's not ADHD...or at least if he is, it's very mild.

 

Just my thoughts... :)

[Cindyz]

Thank you all for the great food for thought.

 

Kate, you may be right. My son had to be moving from the time he was a newborn. He would cry and cry and it wasn't colic because he could be consoled, however he had to be held and moving (he wasn't happy if being held while we were sitting) and he would immediately stop crying. There were many nights that the only way to get him to sleep was to let him sleep in his side to side infant swing. This went on until he could no longer fit in it as once he was old enough he would often climb in it himself just so he could swing. He crawled at about 6 months and walked at the beginning of 10 months and was instantly a happier baby. He also went from walking to running everywhere he went within about a week. He still runs everywhere (from one room to another, etc). When he had his first evaluation at 14 months old, one of the things that the evaluator wrote in the report was that he seemed to be on a self contrived circuit of movement through the house. He would go up the side of the couch, falling or bouncing over it, down the other side, up the side of the chair into the chair, rock in the chair, down and out of the chair, down the hallway to the bench at the end and back down the hallway, and up the side of the couch again. This was all done with something in his hand which he was usually banging against his mouth while he made noises.

 

He can sit and focus, he is able to do it...with a lot of encouragement. We have tried gum, but he swallows it every time. Every once in awhile, we will try again. I show him how I chew it and don't swallow. We talk about chewing and not swallowing, but for whatever reason he just can't do it. The OT suggested that we give him a huge wad of gum to chew that he could not swallow but that makes me too nervous to try. I also really like the idea of the exercise ball. Currently he sits at an adult height table with me with his feet flat on a stool so they are not dangling. Because of this, the balls that fit his size are too small to reach the table. I've been considering getting a new table that is smaller so that he could use a ball. The only problem is that it is difficult for me to sit at the smaller tables because I have back problems. I may need to just endure!

 

I also think the idea of the mini trampoline is good. We used to have a small exercise trampoline and he literally wore it out (it probably wasn't great quality anyway). One problem is that our house is not very big so it's not easy finding room for things like that. Our school room is pretty full. Maybe I could make room for it by getting rid of his art table and having him do art on the main table.

 

So much to consider! :)

[LibraryLover]

Somewhere on this board is SWB's description of various school days with her children. (Anyone know where? I'll go look in a bit and try to link) They are well worth a read. I don't ever remember reading that any of her children have ADD, but she has 3 boys, and she describes children crawling all over her as she read. There is a lot of movement in those posts. They made me smile when I read them back when.

 

I know ADD is not the same as busy, but hearing about other kids who crawl all over while being read to might be comforting.

Edited October 31, 2010 by LibraryLover

[Denisemomof4]

I didn't read this thread thoroughly but I have a few suggestions.

 

I have four kids, two with ADD/ADHD, two without. Schooling the ADD/ADHD kids can really be frustrating. I wish I had known what I was dealing with when now ds15 was younger. I put him in school in the 5th grade because I didn't think he was applying himself at home because his mom was his teacher. But the exact issues I dealt with in the home continued in school. His teachers were concerned, too, and suggested testing. He was diagnosed as mild inattentive ADD. Still, for mild, his symptoms were quite apparent to me.

 

What I would do is get one of those huge exercise balls for him to use as a chair. Having the ability to wiggle and move on this may actually help him focus! Also, have things in his desk or on the table which he can fidget with so he can better focus: clay, one of those squishy balls used for hand strengthening, like a balloon filled with sand, etc. Have things for him to fidget with.

 

Do one exercise then have him run laps around the house. Or go for a walk. Then do another.

 

Good quality fish oil and a healthy diet, limiting sugar and highly refined foods, will help.

 

What's frustrating for me is dd10, now in 5th grade, will make the same mistakes repeatedly, for years. If there are 15 problems in one section, often times she will do 9. If she's doing an English assignment and she's writing long sentences, when the space runs out at the end of the page she stops, leaving sentences incomplete. She will be doing her math and all of a sudden forget how to do it, even though she just did 15 problems just like the one at hand. Her's is more severe than ds's ever was. I'm still working out a plan for us.

[Cindyz]

I wanted to add that one way I know his behaviors are not typical for his age is because I see all of the other children in his class who are his age or younger and he definitely stands out as the wild one. He goes to an alternative school for homeschoolers two mornings a week and in order for him to attend, a parent is required to be in the class with him at all times because he is so disruptive. All other parents drop off their children and leave. None of the other children behave like he does. It was a real eye opener for me.

 

I would just keep him home, believe me it would be easier to keep him at home and not have to get up two mornings a week to sit in his classroom on edge about what is he going to do next, but he absolutely LOVES going. He is so happy while getting ready to go and this week we had off and he had tears in his eyes when he asked me if we were never going to go back. He loves the interaction with the other kids and all of the activities. It really is a wonderful program and I'm glad he is enjoying himself. I would really love to see him be successful in these types of situations.

 

He also has sensory processing disorder (obviously), may have aspberger's (not currently diagnosed as the neurologist said there was not enough there yet to make that determination), and has pragmatic language difficulties. I could paste a book here about those symptoms since I just wrote it up for his upcoming IEP meeting, but I'll spare you all. :)

[justamouse]

he sounds like my now 19 yo (who has just landed a very high paying job because of his talent with tearing things apart and putting them back together again-there's hope:001_smile:).

 

This may take a paradigm shift for you, but if you can, allow him to work with an ipod. They can concentrate more with the music in their ears. I know, it goes against everything we're taught, and it grates because paying attention=silence and looking at you. Not with these kids. The music (rap and metal for my oldest) is the white noise they need to focus. And, they'll play it loud.

 

Get some erasers-the big pink kind, and let him fidget with those while he works.

 

Get an exercise ball and let that be his chair-otherwise you'll have broken chairs because he will rock them while he works.

 

The biggest change is going to come from you. This isn't about how you'll teach-this is all going to be about how he learns. Make your measure what he's getting done, not HOW he's getting it done.

 

and, here's some books i loved, YOU AND YOUR ADD CHILD by Jody Capeheart and TEACHING WITH HEART by the same author

 

http://www.amazon.com/You-Your-D-D-Child-Understand/dp/0785278958/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1288538370&sr=1-1

 

http://www.amazon.com/Teaching-Heart-Cherishing-Challenging-Christian/dp/0784713472/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1288538304&sr=1-1

Edited October 31, 2010 by justamouse

[Cindyz]

he sounds like my now 19 yo (who has just landed a very high paying job because of his talent with tearing things apart and putting them back together again-there's hope:001_smile:).

 

This may take a paradigm shift for you, but if you can, allow him to work with an ipod. They can concentrate more with the music in their ears. I know, it goes against everything we're taught, and it grates because paying attention=silence and looking at you. Not with these kids. The music (rap and metal for my oldest) is the white noise they need to focus. And, they'll play it loud.

 

Get some erasers-the big pink kind, and let him fidget with those while he works.

 

Get an exercise ball and let that be his chair-otherwise you'll have broken chairs because he will rock them while he works.

 

The biggest change is going to come from you. This isn't about how you'll teach-this is all going to be about how he learns. Make your measure what he's getting done, not HOW he's getting it done.

 

and, here's some books i loved, YOU AND YOUR ADD CHILD by Jody Capeheart and TEACHING WITH HEART by the same author

 

http://www.amazon.com/You-Your-D-D-Child-Understand/dp/0785278958/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1288538370&sr=1-1

 

http://www.amazon.com/Teaching-Heart-Cherishing-Challenging-Christian/dp/0784713472/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1288538304&sr=1-1

 

Thank you for the book suggestions. :) There are so many out there, you never know which are actually good.

 

It's interesting that you should mention the headphones. The OT suggested that we look into these headphones: http://www.vitalsounds.com/hd500aprod.aspx

 

Their design allows the user to hear the music but the holes in the side allow them to also hear what's going on in the room around them. I have been thinking about them. What turned me off from them is that they are so big and have to be connected and I imagined him falling to the ground to roll around like usual and they would go flying off or they would be a constant on again off again distraction and it would be $145 wasted. I wonder if the OT will let me borrow a pair to try them out.

[mykdsmomy]

Can he focus, if he wants to?

 

This is actually a misconception about ADHD. Many children with ADHD can pay attention to things that are interesting to them (video games/tv shows/etc)

Ds6's psychiatrist made it very clear from the beginning that kiddos with ADHD can focus on certain things.

 

I do agree that it can be a sensory issue where he is feeling unregulated unless he is moving but it most certainly can also be ADHD.

[cindergretta]

This is actually a misconception about ADHD. Many children with ADHD can pay attention to things that are interesting to them (video games/tv shows/etc)

Ds6's psychiatrist made it very clear from the beginning that kiddos with ADHD can focus on certain things.

 

I do agree that it can be a sensory issue where he is feeling unregulated unless he is moving but it most certainly can also be ADHD.

 

:iagree:

[cindergretta]

I wanted to add that one way I know his behaviors are not typical for his age

 

I remember when we were trying to figure out what was up with ds(7) how hard it was to get people to listen. We were told a LOT how he sounded "typical." But he was our 4th. (Well, 5th including my dss, who has similar diagnoses!) And we knew his behaviours were not typical. I studied Early Childhood Development in college. I know a LOT about ages and stages and expectations, kwim? And I knew he was beyond typical behaviours. It took 2+ years to get anyone to "hear" us. Then we were referred to a neuro-developmental ped where he was evaluated ad nauseum. LOL He has sensory issues, ADHD, and Aspergers. I really wasn't surprised at all. Getting heard is often the hardest part! :tongue_smilie:

[ondreeuh]

I remember when we were trying to figure out what was up with ds(7) how hard it was to get people to listen. We were told a LOT how he sounded "typical." But he was our 4th. (Well, 5th including my dss, who has similar diagnoses!) And we knew his behaviours were not typical. I studied Early Childhood Development in college. I know a LOT about ages and stages and expectations, kwim? And I knew he was beyond typical behaviours. It took 2+ years to get anyone to "hear" us. Then we were referred to a neuro-developmental ped where he was evaluated ad nauseum. LOL He has sensory issues, ADHD, and Aspergers. I really wasn't surprised at all. Getting heard is often the hardest part! :tongue_smilie:

 

:iagree: YES YES YES!

 

I have gotten plenty of flack from people who don't know my kid - Oh he's just active! Boys are like that! You had a girl first so you aren't used to boys! People seem so reluctant to believe a parent might be able to recognize the difference between active and hyperactive. Anyone who has spent ANY time with my son (without meds) is a believer.

 

DS needed constant stimulation as a baby or he cried. Once he could walk it got a little better but he was always into everything and mega impulsive. We dealt with it as best we could, and I even had to quit a job because our daycare, the one place we found that could see through his "naughtiness" and appreciate him, said he had to leave because they could no longer ensure his safety. He needed someone tailing him constantly and I was EXHAUSTED. We had all sorts of "tricks" to help make things easier, including picture schedules, weighted blankets, a mini trampoline in the living room, LOTS of child-proofing, etc. When we decided to try stimulant meds it was like a switch flipped and he became normal. We didn't need to structure our lives around keeping him safe and he blossomed. It was like giving a deaf child hearing aids or giving a mostly blind child eyeglasses.

 

All that to say, trust your instincts, and don't listen too much to people who don't know your child or who don't have experience with ADHD. If you do try meds, realize that the stimulant ones are in and out of the body very quickly so that make it easy to see the benefits & any side effects.

[cindergretta]

All that to say, trust your instincts, and don't listen too much to people who don't know your child or who don't have experience with ADHD. If you do try meds, realize that the stimulant ones are in and out of the body very quickly so that make it easy to see the benefits & any side effects.

 

:iagree: Yup. :D

[Tiramisu]

:iagree: YES YES YES!

 

I have gotten plenty of flack from people who don't know my kid - Oh he's just active! Boys are like that! You had a girl first so you aren't used to boys! People seem so reluctant to believe a parent might be able to recognize the difference between active and hyperactive. Anyone who has spent ANY time with my son (without meds) is a believer.

 

DS needed constant stimulation as a baby or he cried. Once he could walk it got a little better but he was always into everything and mega impulsive. We dealt with it as best we could, and I even had to quit a job because our daycare, the one place we found that could see through his "naughtiness" and appreciate him, said he had to leave because they could no longer ensure his safety. He needed someone tailing him constantly and I was EXHAUSTED. We had all sorts of "tricks" to help make things easier, including picture schedules, weighted blankets, a mini trampoline in the living room, LOTS of child-proofing, etc. When we decided to try stimulant meds it was like a switch flipped and he became normal. We didn't need to structure our lives around keeping him safe and he blossomed. It was like giving a deaf child hearing aids or giving a mostly blind child eyeglasses.

 

All that to say, trust your instincts, and don't listen too much to people who don't know your child or who don't have experience with ADHD. If you do try meds, realize that the stimulant ones are in and out of the body very quickly so that make it easy to see the benefits & any side effects.

 

:iagree: Thank you for posting this.

 

I still feel the pain when people see my dc's behavior and attribute it to my poor parenting, lack of discipline, etc. Fortunately, they are getting older and the difficulties aren't quite the same as they once were. Living with this is hard enough without having to deal with the criticism of other (well-meaning?) people.

 

To the OP, you are on the right track trying to get answers and helpful advice. Take what's good. You're doing a great job.

[Dayle in Guatemala]

My son isn't diagnosed per se, but, he is exactly like your ds. How many times a day does that poor child hear, "Christopher, please focus. Sit down and do your work first and then you can do what you've been asking me to do." He's a great kid and loves learning, but, he struggles with just sitting still and focusing--unless it's computer/math/science oriented! LOL

 

Anyway, I keep the lessons short for him. I do language arts (the bane of his existence) in chunks of 10-15 minutes and then let him go ahead and do something else for a few minutes in between those chunks. Now, I know what people are saying, "He's 12. He should be able to sit there. In the real world his work will not be divided up for him like that."

 

No it won't, but, I'm seeing results and he now can go longer and longer with a lesson and it's teaching him to be focused on something he really hates. I'm seeing where focusing isn't such a chore for him.