debbielong Posted October 29, 2010 Share Posted October 29, 2010 I, too, feel the "claustrophobia" of never being alone. I wrote this several years ago... Tuesday, September 4, 2007 If My Kids Were in School... This week, I talked to several of my friends whose kids have started school (so my friends have time to talk on the phone:). I listened to their stories about what they do when their children are gone and I wondered (in the vein of top ten reasons to homeschool)... If my kids were in school...I could go to Big Lots alone. Today, Thomas launched off the end of the cart, rocketing the cart back toward me and the cart handle into my abdomen. Oof. If my kids were in school...I could go to Big Lots alone. I could spend the entire trip not answering one question. "What is next on the list? What are you getting? How many more things? How much longer? Where are we going next? How much longer? What are you getting? Where are you going?" If my kids were in school...I wouldn't have to share my McGriddle and French Vanilla Cappuccino (candy coffee). If my kids were in school...I wouldn't feel guilty about an occasional visit to McDonald's. If my kids were in school... I could go to doctor appointments alone. "Why are we here? How much longer? When are they going to call your name? When are they going to come into the room? What are they going to do? How much longer? Why isn't he coming yet? What is this? How much longer?" (For the record, I answer all of these questions BEFORE WE LEAVE and they bring plenty of stuff to do while waiting. They still ask a zillion questions.) If my kids were in school...I could remain delightfully oblivious to how very strange they really are. Today, Rachel showed me how she likes to put her blankey over her head and feed herself grapes through one of the holes in her blanket. What in the world? If my kids were in school...I could be alone. I like being alone. I was alone for a long time before I married my husband. I was alone before we had children. I like being alone. I don't get lonely. I like being alone. I have a 70+ year old friend and she has absolutely no trouble being around all sorts of people during the day, and she enjoys her quiet evenings at home, alone. Ahhhhhhhhhh. I could be like that. If my kids were in school...I could eat something besides crusts for lunch. If my kids were in school...I could eat my lunch without anyone talking about it or touching it. If my kids were in school...I could have helped clean up flood-damaged homes in Findlay, instead of lamely dropping off a "flood bucket" at our church. (What is a flood bucket? Why are you buying that stuff? Why did the houses flood? Did the water go all the way to the ceiling? Did anyone die? What happened to all their stuff? Is our house going to flood? Will the water go to the ceiling?) If my kids were in school...my life would be very, very different and sometimes that is very, very compelling:) If I were not 100% convicted this is a better way of life for our children, homeschooling would be a tough sell. It is a ton of work and an inordinate responsibility. Still, the more I read and learn, the longer I want to do this for them. That doesn't stop me from occasionally wondering...If my kids were in school..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capt_Uhura Posted October 29, 2010 Share Posted October 29, 2010 Perfect! You summed it up quiet nicely! :001_smile: I'd add....if my kids were in school I could enjoy my 3.5yr old DD, the last of my babies rather than constantly shushing her, finding things to occupy her while I work with her brothers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tress Posted October 29, 2010 Share Posted October 29, 2010 I have young kids, so I just HAVE to add.. If my kids were in school...I could use the toilet without someone standing right next to me and/or talking to me through the closed door. Ahhh.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted October 29, 2010 Share Posted October 29, 2010 I could.... get a job and help pay off our bills.... buy Starbucks without my children making me feel guilty.... Have a maid or organizer.... have my kids run and hug me when "I" got home... Why am I hs again?? Hmmmmmm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Cheryl in SoCal Posted October 29, 2010 Share Posted October 29, 2010 I must be a weirdo because I love the company. Heck, when I leave the house to run errands I always take at least one of my older children (teenage boys) with me. I call them my bodyguards :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scrapbookbuzz Posted October 29, 2010 Share Posted October 29, 2010 These are all very valid points for those times when you wistfully wish your kids were in school. And I understand them ALL as I often thought each one of them at one time or another. Now, my kids are in the public school and I miss them terribly, sometimes wonder, "What are their teachers thinking?", and while, yes, I have had a few opportunities to get a Starbucks, eat McD's without guilt, and actually eat my entire lunch, I'm reminded once again about how very little time I actually have to interact with them! They get home at 3:30pm, have a short break, then at 4pm we start homework. At 4:45, we take a break so I can get dinner ready and the table set. If they're not done with homework by then, they get to do it after dinner. And even if they are done, after dinner, we usually have to get ready to go to AWANA or Bible Study or . . . you name it. If you're wistfully wishing your kids into the hands of others for the major part of the day, please re-think that. If you really need a few hours for yourself, even a whole day, plan to pay a babysitter and then go enjoy yourself. If you are wondering why you're homeschooling, think about your original reasons. Write them down so you have a visual. Has anything changed? I know some of you wrote in jest, some in half jest, and some very seriously. I'm not discounting anyone's feelings. Just wanted to give some perspective from a 'been there, done that' mom. ;) Thanks for listening!:bigear: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted October 29, 2010 Share Posted October 29, 2010 If my older two were in school, I'd have *LESS* privacy because there would be no one to keep an eye on my toddler while I take 5 minutes to make a phone call or whatever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In2why Posted October 29, 2010 Share Posted October 29, 2010 I was one of the people who wrote this as a con. It is in fact the hardest thing about homeschooling for me. But at the same time, I don't miss it enough to stop homeschooling. Instead I have to work hard to remember to take care of me. It is easy to get caught up in superwoman sydrome and feel selfish when I need a mental health day. I need alone time to recharge, and one thing I noticed was that if I didn't make an effort to take it, I distanced myself from my wonderful husband. Because once I got the kids to bed, I didn't want to engage with anyone, not even him. A solution for me, and I haven't perfected it yet, is to pay attention to my stress level, and take at least a couple of hours at some point during the week to be completely alone without any work to do, or anyone to please but myself. It can be as simple as taking a walk by myself, going to the library without a list and just enjoying the silence and flipping through magazines, and looking for pleasure reading for myself. I also have time I consider sacred when DH takes the kids somewhere and I can spend time at home, without doing anything. I think without paying attention to these things I would get burned out, and have a hard time homeschooling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowfall Posted October 29, 2010 Share Posted October 29, 2010 I'd add....if my kids were in school I could enjoy my 3.5yr old DD, the last of my babies rather than constantly shushing her, finding things to occupy her while I work with her brothers. I agree! I only have one I'm teaching, but I'm constantly passing the baby off to DH (he's home during the day) or letting her fuss on the floor for a minute while we finish up one last thing. I don't get to take her on 90 minute walks like I did DD1...so many things. It makes me kind of sad, but I figure if I'd had them closer together, she still wouldn't have gotten as much attention, even though DD1 wouldn't have been old enough for school. That's what I tell myself anyway. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cdrumm4448 Posted October 29, 2010 Share Posted October 29, 2010 Instead I have to work hard to remember to take care of me. It is easy to get caught up in superwoman sydrome and feel selfish when I need a mental health day. I need alone time to recharge I hear you. I haven't been along in over a month. DH has worked 27 out of the last 30 days, 12 hours a day, sometimes nights. I love my children but they are constantly talking, humming, singing, screaming, crying, or some sort of noise is coming out of them. Right now, I am alone. DH has his first day off and took both kids to run errands to their Grandmas' houses. So, that means a few hours of quiet. I felt guilty letting them do schoolwork later. How crazy is that? Now, after I get off of here, I'm going to decide which to do: polish more woodwork or have a cup of tea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TracyP Posted October 29, 2010 Share Posted October 29, 2010 If my older two were in school, I'd have *LESS* privacy because there would be no one to keep an eye on my toddler while I take 5 minutes to make a phone call or whatever. I wrote alone time as a con but the fact of the matter is EXACTLY this! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Georgiana Daniels Posted October 29, 2010 Share Posted October 29, 2010 If my kids were in school I wouldn't be swelling up like a puffer fish. Finding time to exercise is SOOO hard with no one to watch them. Of course, I can take them for a stroll, but I can't actually run several miles with them in tow. For now I have to save my exercising for times when someone else happens to be home long enough to watch them. On the flip side, if my kids were in school, I'd probably have to go back to work :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capt_Uhura Posted October 29, 2010 Share Posted October 29, 2010 I'm reminded once again about how very little time I actually have to interact with them! They get home at 3:30pm, have a short break, then at 4pm we start homework. At 4:45, we take a break so I can get dinner ready and the table set. If they're not done with homework by then, they get to do it after dinner. And even if they are done, after dinner, we usually have to get ready to go to AWANA or Bible Study or . . . you name it. I know some of you wrote in jest, some in half jest, and some very seriously. I'm not discounting anyone's feelings. Just wanted to give some perspective from a 'been there, done that' mom. ;) Thanks for listening!:bigear: Yes, half jest here! I remind myself constantly how little time I'd have with them if they were in school. My oldest already has less time at home than he's been alive......where does the time go? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capt_Uhura Posted October 29, 2010 Share Posted October 29, 2010 Now, after I get off of here, I'm going to decide which to do: polish more woodwork or have a cup of tea. If I were you, I'd polish the woodwork. But YOU really should have a cup of tea! I'm working on not spreading myself too thin and not taking care of ME. I say have the cup of tea and don't feel guilty about having it. Lately, I've been watching Star Trek or design shows before bed rather than spending that 30min planning HSing....but it helps to relax me for a good nights sleep which I think is more important than 30min of planning...which i should do earlier anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
golfcartmama Posted October 29, 2010 Share Posted October 29, 2010 I have young kids, so I just HAVE to add.. If my kids were in school...I could use the toilet without someone standing right next to me and/or talking to me through the closed door. Ahhh.... This is SO me too! :iagree: AND, I have to add....I could wash my hair and shave my legs....in the same shower! :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
love3es Posted October 29, 2010 Share Posted October 29, 2010 AND, I have to add....I could wash my hair and shave my legs....in the same shower! :001_smile: Oh yeah! But in all seriousness, as good as that yellow bus looks some mornings, I wouldn't have it any other way (than hsing)! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abrightmom Posted October 29, 2010 Share Posted October 29, 2010 I could wash my hair and shave my legs....in the same shower! :001_smile: :lol::lol: Yes! Yes! Amen sister! :lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.