Teen allowances - let me run this by you all

[RoughCollie]

Just to make extra sure I am not being a Grinch or a Bad Mom, I want to run my latest plan by you all.

 

My kids get an allowance. The amount is $35 a week for the two in PS, and $30 for the other two.

 

Out of it, they are expected to set aside the following amounts each month:

 

*School lunches for the 2 in PS (varies, and is $1.60 per day; they may make their own lunches, but they don't)

*Clothing $50 (they buy all clothes and shoes except winter coats because I don't trust them not to choose to freeze)

*Personal supplies (grooming), $10

*School supplies, including learning aids, field trips, $10

 

The rest is for them to pay for things like junk food, socializing with friends, books, magazine subscriptions, movies, video games, computer peripherals, iTunes.

 

This allowance is in line with what other mothers around here pay their kids. It also saves me money -- I keep detailed accounts of what I spend on Quicken, so I am sure about that.

 

I am so relieved not to have 4 kids continually coming to me with their monetary needs. This was a good idea.

 

In return, the kids have to comply with doing all their schoolwork, and they have chores to do every evening between 6:30 and 7, with an hour's worth of additional chores on Saturdays. The boys also have to mow the lawn each week (DD has severe anemia and is no longer required to do this.)

 

THE PROBLEM: These kids are teenagers and the chores they do are not onerous. They do the chores when I am available to see to it. For the last couple of weeks, I have been home, but I've been working on some business-related matters that require my complete attention. This week, none of the kids did their daily chores.

 

So I told them Every Day that if I do their chores, I will dock their allowances by $2 per day, each. This figure still allows them to buy necessities. I will earn $8 a day and it will go to an Amazon gift certificate for me, which I will spend on myself. My husband bought me a Kindle for my birthday, so the kids know this is my Feeding the Kindle Fund.

 

I have been telling the kids Once a Day to do their chores and they have not done so for 5 days. I am about to do them myself. I am getting desperate because the house is not tidy, the kitchen is not clean (except for me succumbing to loading and running the dishwasher), and the area rugs are covered in dog hair.

 

These are Teenagers, not little kids. My view is that One Reminder is One Too Many at this age, so they are lucky they get that.

 

This is Friday. When I start cleaning in a few minutes, I will earn 5 days x $2/day x 4 children = $40!

 

What do you all think of this?

Edited September 17, 2010 by RoughCollie

[HayesW]

I think this is perfectly fair. In fact, I think you are being more than generous by only taking $2 a day!

[Parrothead]

As long as your school lunch kids are not starving during the day I think it is a find plan.

[RoughCollie]

As long as your school lunch kids are not starving during the day I think it is a find plan.

 

Chucki, that is why I tell them they have a choice: They can spend their money on school lunches or they can keep it and make their own lunches here. I don't want my children to starve. So far, they are too lazy to make their own lunches, and too old for me to have to make them for them. Making lunches is probably the chore I dislike the most, so I am accommodated with this plan, too.

 

I'm not used to directly benefiting from disciplining my children. It feels odd, but like something I can get used to.

Edited September 17, 2010 by RoughCollie

[elegantlion]

The only issue I foresee is that they will think it is worth losing the money to have Mom do the chores. Then you're stuck. :001_huh:

[StaceyinLA]

I have to admit that I don't think the amount they receive is fair for what they are expected to pay for. If they are buying all their lunches and setting aside that 70 each month for their clothing and personal items, they really don't have 20 or 30 left for the month to do things with friends, or spend on extra things. That's not even ten dollars a week. A single movie is ten dollars. A fast food meal with a group of friends is 5 or 6. Do they have other methods of earning money?

 

Of course this is just my opinion, but there is a good reason it's saving you money.

[RoughCollie]

The only issue I foresee is that they will think it is worth losing the money to have Mom do the chores. Then you're stuck. :001_huh:

 

I thought about that. I like earning money, so I actually don't mind. We don't have enough discretionary income for me to have any money to spend on myself for non-necessities.

 

So, even though I grimace at the thought, I do have a horse in this race.

[Tess in the Burbs]

I don't have teens yet but if they haven't done them in 5 days perhaps it's worth the $2 loss not to do it?

 

I would perhaps say they have to do it by end of the week or they lose their money AND some weekend freedom so they will have time to do the chore. So basically it's done by Friday night or you don't go out all weekend until it's done!

 

Just thinking how I was as a teen....I would gladly give up $ to not have to do the work. you are doing the work. Somehow it isn't what you meant right?

[Mabeline]

I have to admit that I don't think the amount they receive is fair for what they are expected to pay for. If they are buying all their lunches and setting aside that 70 each month for their clothing and personal items, they really don't have 20 or 30 left for the month to do things with friends, or spend on extra things. That's not even ten dollars a week. A single movie is ten dollars. A fast food meal with a group of friends is 5 or 6. Do they have other methods of earning money?

 

Of course this is just my opinion, but there is a good reason it's saving you money.

 

 

But they are recieving $30-35 a week. Thats $120-140 a month. They should have $50 left over for fun stuff.

 

I think as long as they knew about your rule, that it is fair. They know that they need to earn their extra spending money by doing chores and they have decided to forgo it. Good luck!

[RoughCollie]

they really don't have 20 or 30 left for the month to do things with friends, or spend on extra things. That's not even ten dollars a week. A single movie is ten dollars. A fast food meal with a group of friends is 5 or 6. Do they have other methods of earning money?

 

Of course this is just my opinion, but there is a good reason it's saving you money.

 

We are living extremely frugally because our income has decreased by 70% in the last 3 years. DH is self-employed and has always been. He works 7 days a week, 10.5 hours a day, and is 61 years old. We have no assets beyond our 10 year old cars, our household goods, and our office furnishings and equipment. There is no extra money.

 

The boys have been looking for jobs (DD is too young to legally work here). Every place that has an opening, and so far there has been only one, does not hire high school students. They don't have to -- there are no jobs.

 

This is a mixed blessing because the gas to go to town and back costs $6 for each trip. We live in a rural area. Everyone here does their own work. It's not like living in MA where everyone in our suburb paid others to do their manual labor for them.

[RoughCollie]

Just thinking how I was as a teen....I would gladly give up $ to not have to do the work. you are doing the work. Somehow it isn't what you meant right?

 

No, that wasn't the idea. However, it is nice for me to "earn" some money for a change. I like that part.

[StaceyinLA]

I think you are being quite generous. And certainly they DO have the option to have more if they make their lunches. I get that.

 

I agreed with "charging" them for your finishing their chores anyway. That seems very fair. We aren't talking about small children here. They don't need that many reminders, if any.

[RoughCollie]

The only issue I foresee is that they will think it is worth losing the money to have Mom do the chores. Then you're stuck. :001_huh:

 

I like earning money.

 

However, the idea is that they will have no discretionary income because the chickens will come home to roost if they spend their necessity money on non-necessities.

 

Eventually, they will be wearing clothes that are too small, shoes that are too tight, writing on paper bags instead of lined paper, with sticks dipped in mud instead of pencils, stinking to high heaven because they spent their deodorant money.

[Ailaena]

 

These are Teenagers, not little kids. My view is that One Reminder is One Too Many at this age, so they are lucky they get that.

 

:iagree:

 

 

I really think it's a great system, I like how it teaches them accountability for their laziness. Since they are aware of the rules, I think you should stick to your guns here in case they start taking advantage of your gentle heart:D

 

Of course, like someone else said, they may enjoy paying a very modest fee for someone else to do their chores:glare:

[RoughCollie]

I think this is perfectly fair. In fact, I think you are being more than generous by only taking $2 a day!

 

If I took more, I'd feel more guilty. I feel guilty about this -- but since I had kids, I feel guilty about every little thing, so I can endure it. :D

 

I can take the moral high ground, too. It is best that the kids learn from their mistakes now, while they are minors under their parents' care and protection.

[StaceyinLA]

They would only have 50 left if they didn't buy school lunches. If they buy school lunches for 1.60 a day times about 20 days each month, that 50 drops considerably.

 

Of course, that is their choice...

[RoughCollie]

They would only have 50 left if they didn't buy school lunches. If they buy school lunches for 1.60 a day times about 20 days each month, that 50 drops considerably.

 

Of course, that is their choice...

 

Yup. I have food in stock for the lunches they like to eat, and plenty of it. The only things I will not supply are chips and bottled water. They have Klean Kanteen bottles and purchased lunch bags (with paper lunch bags as an alternative). I supply baggies and napkins and plastic containers.

 

As far as I'm concerned, only an idiot would buy school lunches in these circumstances. The food is not nutritious and tastes awful. But not bad enough for my kids to bestir themselves to make their own.

Edited September 17, 2010 by RoughCollie

[Teachin'Mine]

I think you've set up a great system! By my math, the PS kids should have about $40 per month left over if they choose to buy their lunch each day. They could easily have $70 if they'd take a few minutes to make lunch. That's a great way to teach them to prioritize their spending.

 

I would lose the guilt entirely! I agree with Paula that $2 a day may not be enough incentive for them to do their chores. Honestly, I'd suggest increasing the amount (maybe to $4 a day) so it's not just taking away from their discretionary money, but forcing them to make their lunches. In other words, I'd make the $50 and $10 and $10 mandatory, and if there isn't enough left over in the month because they've overspent or because they didn't do their chores, then they're "forced" to make lunches.

 

Lose the guilt and enjoy feeding your Kindle. :D