harder to do hands off

[choirfarm]

I didn't realize how much I managed my children's education until my son took this AP Statistic class. It has been really hard for me to just let him do it. He had a bio to do and he didn't want me to read it, ( ok, I did secretly later and I would have changed quite a bit. It seemed really informal to me!! But maybe that is what she wanted!) I have to stop myself from asking if he has done what he needs, shouldn't you do this, shouldn't it be neater?? He is very self motivated and I think he is doing just fine, but it has been a lot harder than I thought to just let him do it and not look over his shoulder!!!!

 

Trying to get out of the helicopter,

Christine

[Michelle in AL]

Well, I guess I'm worse than you. My dd is in AP Stats too and an online college history course. I ask about every other day if she has done what she needs to AP stats. She gets very annoyed by this and doesn't really answer :confused:.

 

American history she will at least tell me when assignments are due.

 

The mom in me just feels I need to make sure she's not forgetting something, although she's never forgotten an assignment in the 2 yrs she's taken the online classes.

 

I'll jump off the helicopter with you.

[Luckymama]

I really worked hard being more hands-off with ds last year (junior). I can view online all his assignments and grades, so I'd check once a week. We discussed homework while he was doing it (he liked to work on the kitchen table after dinner, with me opposite either reading or playing on my laptop) so I knew pretty much where he was, but I wasn't micromanaging like I had to during freshman year and, to a lesser extent, sophomore year.

 

My mom was in hospice care at my parents' house during the fall until her death in November. If she hadn't been so ill and I hadn't been so busy and drained, I might not have been as hands-off as I had been.

 

I'm very glad that I worked hard at NOT helicoptering. Ds is now working on his Eagle project. We were told by adult leaders that parents are not to check schedules, not to remind, not to ask for donations or volunteers, etc. The Scout is in charge. If the Scout misses something, then he will either learn, recover or fail. We are not even to make sure that he gets up for an early meeting!

[mims]

I keep being reminded that our goal is to raise adults. Your goal for your child is for him to be independent at 18 (give or take). You are just getting one step closer!

[Kareni]

I'll confess to being a micromanaging person. I frequently asked what my daughter was doing and asked to see papers, quizzes, etc. One big reason why I wanted my daughter to go away to college was that I feared that I would be incapable of changing that pattern if my daughter lived at home and attended a local college. I can attest that it's a lot harder to micromanage from across the country!

 

Regards,

Kareni

[Leanna Tomlinson]

Dd #2 just started her Freshman year in college. She has a looooong history of procrastination. I was doing really well being "hands off" until she brought a friend home for Labor Day weekend. Friend mentioned that she had handed in 3 assignments for Freshman Comp. I asked dd, "Oh! What did you write about?" She hadn't handed in one assignment. Now, these are optional, but 10 must be submitted by the end of the semester. So, now I've asked her about it both times she called this week.... :leaving:

[Michelle in AL]

Leanna, my dd is a Queen Procrastinator, which I think causes helicoptering. It increases our anxiety worrying whether or not they'll make it.

 

I'm trying to not nag mine and letting her make her own choices.

 

She dual enrolled in a 4yr university. Last week she had a paper due for American History, an analysis of a 20 page journal article. She went out boating with us that day and shopping. She had one hr at home and then had to babysit until 10pm for 4 kids. The assignment was due at midnight. She had only read 1/2 the pages before she left to babysit. She got the paper done and included tons of citations from the article as evidence for her thesis. She got a 100 on the paper. I was glad, but also a tad bit disappointed because this only reinforces that her procrastination works. I think it does work for her too.

 

If I were you I'd be asking about those composition assignments too.

[8filltheheart]

I I can attest that it's a lot harder to micromanage from across the country!

 

Regards,

Kareni

 

LOL......I can equally attest that it is impossible to micromanage when you are vastly outnumbered! I wish I COULD manage more. I can only give what I can and sometimes it isn't enough. :tongue_smilie:

[AngieW in Texas]

My oldest is exactly like this. She puts everything off as long as possible. She's taking almost a full load dual credit this semester (4 classes, 13 hours) and is doing just one class at home. Thinkwell is not hard to do. You just have to pay attention to the video (and I think the videos are done well) then do the exercise. She has a pretty full class load on Mondays and Wednesdays (5.5 hours of class), but only has 1.5 hours of class on Tuesdays and Thursdays. She persists in putting off Thinkwell until Friday, so she has a whole week of work to do in one day. It drives me nuts. If she did just a little bit of work on Tu/Th, she'd find it a lot easier to get through. It isn't that her load at the cc is too much either. She spends most of Tu/Th just laying around the house.

 

One thing I don't like about her physics and math classes is that they have bulk homework assignments. In each class, the homework is turned in every 3 weeks. My dd, of course, prefers to wait until the last week to even begin to think about looking at it.

 

At least her English and Japanese classes have homework due all the time.

 

I'm hoping that this year of doing almost a full load of college classes while at home will get her prepared for doing the same thing while away from home without me to ask her about whether or not she's finished her work.