Maybe ds isn't ready for cc, don't know what to do

[Deece in MN]

Today ds had his first quiz in one of his cc classes. The instructor read the questions aloud. My ds thought he had to write down the questions and that they would then be given time afterward to answer them. Not so. He should have been answering them as they went along. He was able to get answers written down for 5 of the 10 questions before having to hand in the paper. The best he can do is 50% on this quiz.

Also, I talked with him before school started about jotting down his assignments as they are given. He has an assignment book so it is not as if he doesn't have somewhere to write this information down. He didn't write any of his assignments in his book and then was having a hard time remembering them when I asked about what he has to do for Friday.

I knew this adventure would be an adjustment for him, but I am wondering if I underestimated how big the adjustment would be. I am also at a loss as to how to proceed from this point. I don't want to be constantly on his case about what homework he has and when he should be working on it. I do feel he needs to figure out some of this for himself. I think it will give him a stronger sense of ownership in this whole process. I also want him to be successful and not have this become a bad experience.

Any advice on how much I should be involved? I want to be there for him if and when he needs help, but I don't want to smother him in an effort to be helpful, kwim?

Thanks!

Edited August 25, 2010 by Deece in MN

[LibraryLover]

He made a mistake. That happens. Doesn't mean he's 'not ready'. If he's intelligent, he'll figure this out.

 

I say this gently...back it up and try to let go a little. Be supportive, of course, but let go more. I am assuming he is a young student, 15/16? Remember that nothing terrible will happen because of these early mistakes.

Edited August 25, 2010 by LibraryLover

[Cedarmom]

My son thought he could just remeber the assignment. He did the wrong one. Luckily he figured it out before it was due but then he had to do a whole extra assignment. After that, he decided to write down the assignment. Part of the cc is learning these things. Unless he is really struggling I'd let himlearn from expereince.

[1Togo]

College was a HUGE adjustment for our oldest son. He always struggled with managing the multiple threads of a classroom environment; i.e. taking notes, writing down assignments, etc., and never learned from his mistakes (not saying that your son won't).

 

In college, we put together a study system that worked beautfiully for him. I won't go into all the piece parts, but something that helped in the classroom was for him to carry only one notebook for all classes. So, he had one spiral-bound, college-rule notebook with perforated paper in his backback along with a pencil case (pencils, pens, short ruler, erasable pen) and his textbooks. The notebooks with a pocket in the front are best, so the student can bring home returned tests, quizzes, handouts, etc.

 

DS went to his first class, took notes for that class using that one notebook and wrote assignments for that class at the top of his notetaking pages. In high school, I taught him write name, date, and class in the upper-right hand corner of his note pages. He wrote assignments on the upper left. Then, he moved on to the next class and took notes for that class in the same notebook using the same procedure. When he got home, he put his assignments on a master calendar posted on the bulletin board above his desk, and he tore out the notes for each class and put the notes in separate one-inch binders (labeled with class name).

 

Using this method worked because he only had one notebook to deal with during his hectic day. He could work on organizational issues when he got home and had time.

 

Bonita

 

P.S. Don't think your son isn't ready. Many, many students struggle with the first year of college. It can be fast and furious. I do understand that a low first grade can be discouraging, but just look at it as a way to evaluate. When he (and you if need be) develop a study system that works for him, then he can overcome that low grade. On several occasions, our son had a terrible start to classes because he did not understand how much he needed to study or the prof threw a curve ball on the first exam. Ds worked hard, adjusted his study time or methods, and made good grades.

 

P.S.S. I am not opposed to students learning from their mistakes, but I also don't think there is anything wrong with parents giving a boost or providing input. Our son would not have developed a study sytem flying solo, and some of our ideas came from other sources.

Edited August 25, 2010 by 1Togo

[LibraryLover]

My brick & mortar high -schooler does something similar, but he uses a large three ring binder with subject separaters and file fiolders. Zipper binders are the devil's workshop, imo.

 

With a binder, everything is in one place, by subject and any handouts are first put in the file pockets, instead of shoved in a book only to fall out and/ or be lost. lol Mine is still young -ish and learning, so I often check things out with him to prioritize what shoud go where, what can be tossed, and which items might be filed away for later reference. He uses a three ring hole punch so he can sort and arrange those handouts and such for study and reference. Too much information can be lost when these are stuffed in piles in folders never to be seen again.

 

Some folks need more help with organizational strategies. Better we help them with that early on. Some need more help than others...:glare:

Edited August 25, 2010 by LibraryLover

[Alyce]

He has a big adjustment to make. Remember most of us homeschool in a manner that is very different from school so he has to learn some things from that style environment. My Dd and now my Ds used the CC system. Usually their first grade was low but it helped them to figure out the teachers testing and teaching style. For the next test they were better prepared. Also remember that each teacher has a different way of grading. Some put more inportance on papers, some of test during class and some on final exam. It is very possible to make up for this grade. In one of my Dd test she made a 15 on her first test. She realized what the teacher was wanting and ended up making an A in that class. So I wouldn't decide he's too young based on one test.

As to being supportive it is hard to let go of the reigns but your really do need to. At this level of schooling they are seen by the school as adults and are expected to behave that way. He needs to learn how to do school without you hovering over him, double checking him etc. It's an important lesson for him to learn to fail at one thing and then realize Hey I can do this without mom. You can still be supportive, make sure he is getting to school on time and bringing what he needs. There nothing wrong with making suggestions for how better to manage his time (especially for papers) and suggesting better ways to study at home and as the PP said figure out a system that works for him to handle in class work.

Having been there twice it is very hard to let the reigns go. As mom's it hard but as Homeschooling mom's it is even harder. We've been their only teacher for so long and most of us have a very good relationship with our students. It's easy to say "he can't do it, He's not ready" The truth is he has grown up and you have to give up some of that authority over him. If you've done what you set off to do, he will be fine and get his feet under him just fine. Remember in the end he did have a good teacher but for right now it's time for the catepillar to spread his wings and become a beautiful butterfly.

[Deece in MN]

Thank you all for the replies.

I do need to chill about this whole thing. I am trying. :)

The only "classrooms" he has been in his entire schooling experience to this point has been fire-arms training and driver's ed. He has done some co-op classes, but they were still quite informal.

In my heart I know he will be ok, I just have to get it in my brain. :)

 

Bonita, thank you for your post. Organizing his time and materials is probably going to be his biggest adjustment. He has 1 3-subject notebook that he takes to classes (he has 3 classes at the cc and 1 online). Honestly, I don't know if he has taken any notes yet (we didn't get that far in our conversation before he had to be to work). I think I will share your idea with him and let him figure out what he thinks will work.

 

I really do appreciate the reassuring comments. I think a lot of my worries stem from feeling like everyone I know is judging me based on his performance. My entire family thought I was/am weird for homeschooling, if he doesn't do well they will be like "see, you shouldn't have hs'ed, now what are your kids going to do?" type stuff. I need to not project my issues with this on my ds.

 

Anyway, thanks! I do feel better.

[JenneinCA]

Bonita,

 

That is an absolutely amazing system! I wish I had figured that out back when it would have been useful to me.

 

Do you mind if I share it with some other people who are looking for organizing help? Her son is dealing with high school but your system is fantastic.

[1Togo]

I agree with letting go of the reins. However, some students, especially those with learning problems, need help. I think it shows wisdom and maturity to ask for help and accept it. With that in mind, if your son continues to struggle, many colleges have courses on study skills, and the office of student services can provide resources. In addition, there are books on how to study in college. New American School has great resources on this as well. We are using the same system (except for the spiral notebook) with dd, 8th grade homeschool, and her grades are outstanding. In addition to high school courses, we are including study strategies as part of dd's education and wish we had done more of this for our sons.

 

Your son may just be going through the normal bumps of first year college, but others with students who struggle will read this thread and find that specifics help. I wish someone had been available for our son (and me) when he first began college. He went through a lot of unnecessary stress.

 

Bonita

 

P.S. The one spiral-bound notebook is for students who lose things; i.e. their notebooks, receipts, etc. That way, if they should lose the notebook, they only lose one day of notes instead of an entire quarter (talk about major trauma). We used one large binder for homeschool high school, but switched for college.

Edited August 25, 2010 by 1Togo

[1Togo]

Feel free to share. Btw, at the front of the one-inch binders, ds kept a study sheet. On that sheet (paper folded in half), he recorded the dates of notes as well as other study materials he put together on the left side. On the right side, he recorded the dates he studied the notes. After the first year of college, he could tell exactly how many times he need to run through his study materials to get an "A."

 

It looked like this:

 

3/31 lecture notes 4/3, 4/7, 4/8

4/2 lecture notes 4/3, 4/7, 4/8

Chapter 3 notes/vocabulary 4/8

 

Bonita

 

P.S. I have tried to put this in two columns several times, but can't get it right.

 

P.S. My friends tell me that I should write the whole thing up and sell it. Instead, I will just post ideas as they come to me if you are interested.

Edited August 25, 2010 by 1Togo

[Deece in MN]

Feel free to share. Btw, at the front of the one-inch binders, ds kept a study sheet. On that sheet (paper folded in half), he recorded the dates of notes as well as other study materials he put together on the left side. On the right side, he recorded the dates he studied the notes. After the first year of college, he could tell exactly how many times he need to run through his study materials to get an "A."

 

It looked like this:

 

3/31 lecture notes 4/3, 4/7, 4/8

4/2 lecture notes 4/3, 4/7, 4/8

Chapter 3 notes/vocabulary 4/8

 

Bonita

 

P.S. My friends tell me that I should write the whole thing up and sell it. Instead, I will just post ideas as they come to me if you are interested.

 

These are great tips. I have such a different learning style than ds, so even when I give him suggestions they usually don't work or make sense for him. It is nice to have some other ideas for him to try.

Thanks for taking the time to share!

[1Togo]

You are welcome. Some students don't need this and can really wing it with poor notes, cramming at the last minute, writing papers the night before, etc., but our sons needed a system, and dd, who learns differently from both of them, does well with it as well. Dh is using some of the ideas for his college classes. He came home the other night and said, "Well, I've got to give you credit because those study ideas really work." That validated all the hours of research and frustration of home educating students with learning problems.

 

Bonita

[Chris in VA]

Just wanted to share that many college profs use Blackboard online, and list assignments and due dates there. They will have given out the info in class or at registration, and all a student has to do is go to the website and check.

 

In fact, if your son was given a college email address at registration, he should make it an every day habit to check, as often announcements come via email.

My own ds almost blew his freshman housing assignment b/c he didn't check his email (long story, but ok outcome in the end...).

[Pam B]

Today ds had his first quiz in one of his cc classes. The instructor read the questions aloud. My ds thought he had to write down the questions and that they would then be given time afterward to answer them. Not so. He should have been answering them as they went along. He was able to get answers written down for 5 of the 10 questions before having to hand in the paper. The best he can do is 50% on this quiz.

Also, I talked with him before school started about jotting down his assignments as they are given. He has an assignment book so it is not as if he doesn't have somewhere to write this information down. He didn't write any of his assignments in his book and then was having a hard time remembering them when I asked about what he has to do for Friday.

I knew this adventure would be an adjustment for him, but I am wondering if I underestimated how big the adjustment would be. I am also at a loss as to how to proceed from this point. I don't want to be constantly on his case about what homework he has and when he should be working on it. I do feel he needs to figure out some of this for himself. I think it will give him a stronger sense of ownership in this whole process. I also want him to be successful and not have this become a bad experience.

Any advice on how much I should be involved? I want to be there for him if and when he needs help, but I don't want to smother him in an effort to be helpful, kwim?

Thanks!

 

Don't panic. It is early! :) DD did CC last year- Challenge A- for 8th grade. In the beginning of the year things seem crazy, but they will soon figure out that THEY are responsible for their own work. Also- the tutor is suppose to be sending YOU an email. Letting you know what is to be expected. The beginning of last year, DD also didn't write all assignments down. I ended up going in afterwards each week to stand there while SHE made sure that she had EVERYTHING written down. Her tutor also wrote things on the board as they went- the assignments if brief for the next week. After a while at this- I knew she had it down pat. They will mature A LOT in CC.

Another idea, and I did do this as well, is after reading the tutor's email (and printing it!) I looked over her assignment sheet. If I noticed anything missing, I'd ask. Sometimes she would remember, other times she was surprised when I showed her the email I received. If she didn't understand- I would have her call her tutor. that is one thing you are PAYING for! It is a HUGE step towards how it will be in college.

 

It all seems overwhelming at first, but hang tight, your son has been YOUR student! YOU raised him! With that said- YOU know your son best. Go with your gut... AFTER speaking to him. :)

[Teachin'Mine]

I would encourage him to either e-mail or talk with his professor. He may give him the opportunity to retake the test with similar questions, or he may say that the grade stands - either way it's good to have the experience of standing up for yourself and it will be a learning experience.

 

I agree with others that none of this means that he's not ready - we all make mistakes. This is such a valuable learning experience. IMO, he doesn't need to even include this on his transcript if he's not happy with his final grade, but it might be harder to eliminate if he takes other classes there for which he wants credit.

[Chris in VA]

Don't panic. It is early! :) DD did CC last year- Challenge A- for 8th grade. In the beginning of the year things seem crazy, but they will soon figure out that THEY are responsible for their own work. Also- the tutor is suppose to be sending YOU an email. Letting you know what is to be expected. The beginning of last year, DD also didn't write all assignments down. I ended up going in afterwards each week to stand there while SHE made sure that she had EVERYTHING written down. Her tutor also wrote things on the board as they went- the assignments if brief for the next week. After a while at this- I knew she had it down pat. They will mature A LOT in CC.

Another idea, and I did do this as well, is after reading the tutor's email (and printing it!) I looked over her assignment sheet. If I noticed anything missing, I'd ask. Sometimes she would remember, other times she was surprised when I showed her the email I received. If she didn't understand- I would have her call her tutor. that is one thing you are PAYING for! It is a HUGE step towards how it will be in college.

 

It all seems overwhelming at first, but hang tight, your son has been YOUR student! YOU raised him! With that said- YOU know your son best. Go with your gut... AFTER speaking to him. :)

 

FWIW, I believe the OP is referring to Community College, not Classical Coversations.:001_smile:

[Pam B]

Today ds had his first quiz in one of his cc classes. The instructor read the questions aloud. My ds thought he had to write down the questions and that they would then be given time afterward to answer them. Not so. He should have been answering them as they went along. He was able to get answers written down for 5 of the 10 questions before having to hand in the paper. The best he can do is 50% on this quiz.

Also, I talked with him before school started about jotting down his assignments as they are given. He has an assignment book so it is not as if he doesn't have somewhere to write this information down. He didn't write any of his assignments in his book and then was having a hard time remembering them when I asked about what he has to do for Friday.

I knew this adventure would be an adjustment for him, but I am wondering if I underestimated how big the adjustment would be. I am also at a loss as to how to proceed from this point. I don't want to be constantly on his case about what homework he has and when he should be working on it. I do feel he needs to figure out some of this for himself. I think it will give him a stronger sense of ownership in this whole process. I also want him to be successful and not have this become a bad experience.

Any advice on how much I should be involved? I want to be there for him if and when he needs help, but I don't want to smother him in an effort to be helpful, kwim?

Thanks!

 

Okay~ I asked my DD, (who was in CC last year) for advice for someone who was overwhelmed on the first day of CC.

 

She says.... (Drum roll please)... "I don't usually give advise, but you just gotta take it slow and organize yourself!"

 

There you have it! Words to live by- Brought to you by KATELYNE BASS!!!

[Pam B]

FWIW, I believe the OP is referring to Community College, not Classical Coversations.:001_smile:

 

 

:lol::lol::lol: Well... Then... in THAT case... :blushing::blush: I... uh.... am outta advise! LOL!

[Deece in MN]

I would encourage him to either e-mail or talk with his professor. He may give him the opportunity to retake the test with similar questions' date=' or he may say that the grade stands - either way it's good to have the experience of standing up for yourself and it will be a learning experience.

 

I agree with others that none of this means that he's not ready - we all make mistakes. This is such a valuable learning experience. IMO, he doesn't need to even include this on his transcript if he's not happy with his final grade, but it might be harder to eliminate if he takes other classes there for which he wants credit.[/quote']

 

Quick update.

 

I talked with my ds about the quiz a little bit after he got home from work. He did answer 6 of the 10 questions. They traded papers with another student for correcting. The other kid marked one of his answers as wrong when it was correct. The instructor gave 5 points for 1-5 correct answers and the full 10 points for 6-10 correct answers. Technically, he should have received the full 10 points as he did answer 6 questions correctly. He wasn't sure what he should do, so he didn't do anything (as far as talking to his instructor). Should he bring it up at this point or let it go? He leans towards letting it go, but that is because he has a hard time with things like this. I told him that it is his responsibility to deal with these things and stick up for himself because no one else will. I encouraged him to email his instructor, but that he would have to make the decision to do it or not.

Anyway, I feel better knowing more about the situation. I am still glad I posted because you all have given great advice! Thanks.

Edited August 25, 2010 by Deece in MN

[Susan C.]

About the incorrect grading, he should tell the professor. My ds came very close to getting a grade above what he got, and sometimes a few points do make a difference.

 

As far for how much to get involved, I have offered "secretary" services (that still keeps him in charge) to ds who is going to college while at home. He is a junior, but I helped him organize quite a bit during his freshman year, a little last year, and probably little to none from here on out. When he had literally ten things going at once seemingly all due, we made a grid for each day and each class with tasks assigned in the order he needed to do them to make his deadlines.

[Teachin'Mine]

I agree with Susan. Again, even if he doesn't end up with the ten points, he'll have had great experience in stepping outside his comfort zone and asserting himself. He'll need that skill when he's on his own. :)

[distancia]

Almost the same thing happened to my D (17) this past summer at CC. Her prof emailed her AND posted that the students should look for test instructions to follow in their email box. Of course, my D did not read any of the email instructions and when she took her first exam she answered all the questions in the wrong tense (it was a Spanish language exam) and scored a 53.

 

D was distraught. In order to get a B in the class that meant she had to have an A on every exam after that. I told D that if she wanted to withdraw, she could; if she wanted to continue, she could; and if her final grade was a C or lower, she could take the course all over again (!) to wipe out the first grade.

 

D opted to continue. She made darn well sure that she studied and read the instructions for every future exam because she did not want anything lower than a final grade of B. She did get the B (sweated it all the way with straight As) and boy, did she learn from that experience.

 

In another class she did not read the syllabus and asked the professor a question that was very clear in the syllabus. He was irritated and pointed out to her that he "spent a lot of time writing that syllabus and I expect you to do me the courtesy of reading it."

 

That, too, was a learning experience for D.

 

About organizational skills...oh my, that's a whole 'nother issue....

 

So yes, as a parent I want to protect my D and help her in every way I can but as a life-skills teacher I have to stand back and assist her only when absolutely necessary.