Are there still places where the term "colored" is used/accepted?

[lionfamily1999]

For me, that is the SERIOUS problem!!! That if you are a minority, you are invisible without someone using your color label. :glare:

 

How very, very sad.

Your skin covers the majority of your body. It's more obvious than any other feature. You could describe anyone and without adding in their skin color it could still be hard to peg them down.

 

Hair and eye color get the same quick definition/name that skin does. You have blond hair? Well, perhaps you have dark blond hair with honey blond and strawberry high lights, but on your driver's license and in most conversations, your hair is blond. Brown eyes? Are they dark brown or light brown, do they have gold or orange streaks, what about green or hazel streaks? Are they surrounded by a band of black? Well, it doesn't really matter, because descriptions of you (unless the person is in love :p) are going to be brown eyed.

 

Denying that the color of your skin is a part of how you look and by being the biggest organ and largest mass of your outer appearance, the easiest identifyable marker, is denying the obvious. Why does it have to be racist to say the obvious?

 

As far as Barry's story goes... How many boys fit the description the mother gave, up until she said he was black?

[8circles]

Only by my mother when describing dark loads of laundry. I cringe every time.

[laundrycrisis]

 

Denying that the color of your skin is a part of how you look and by being the biggest organ and largest mass of your outer appearance, the easiest identifyable marker, is denying the obvious. Why does it have to be racist to say the obvious?

 

As far as Barry's story goes... How many boys fit the description the mother gave, up until she said he was black?

 

My kids do not yet know the names of different races. Our 7 yo describes people by the actual color of their skin. He will say someone is brown, maybe dark brown, or light brown, or pink or peach. He will also include hair color in the description. He is giving an actual physical description, not a racial identifier. Is it offensive to do this ? It is truly just a description. BTW he once heard the term "black" and asked me what it meant. When I explained, he thought it was silly because there really aren't people with jet black skin.

 

Yesterday he and DS2 were watching Wipeout and he was referring to a "colored guy". I asked him who he was talking about and why he was calling him that. He was the one in the multicolored shirt. There was also a blue guy and a pink girl. He was referring to their outfits, not their skin. I explained to him that he should not refer to people as "colored" because to many people that word is a rude name for people with dark skin. I understand that his use of it was completely innocent but I want to give him information about something others may find offensive. I was not given that information when I was young and didn't find out until I used terms I really had no idea were offensive or mean, and I still feel bad about it.

[BMW]

We have a totally different scenario here....

 

My kids were raised for many years on an Air Force base and we knew people of all races and skin tones. We never made racial distinctions and the children never brought it up.

 

Then we moved. In the area we currently live, we are often a minority. We are white, btw. When I drive past a school and look across the large yard, I might see 3 or 4 out of 60 kids that are white. It would be easy to say, "the white boy over there", particularly because they all wear school uniforms, so you wouldn't be able to say, "The one in the red shirt".

 

There is also a large hispanic population here.

 

My kids were shocked to hear people speak so racially. My boy was new to school and was asked about a new friend on the playground and refered to him as brown and got in huge trouble with the playground supervisor. He cried and cried because he is a sweet, nice boy and didn't know any other way to identify the boy because he was new and didn't know his name. I was sad for my sweet boy, but he learned a quick lesson.

 

But, what gets me is that the kids raised here in this situation... the ones who are not white... KNOW that others are not allowed to call them by their color of skin or use the N word and THEY use those words all the time with each other and my kids have experienced that they love to do it in an "in your face" type way... in front of others who are not allowed to use those words... and the teachers look the other way. If we are not supposed to use the N word or the color of skin, why are they allowed to? But they DO... all the time. And many times mocking.

 

So, I still find times and ways to teach my children that it doesn't matter what a persons nationality is... there are good and bad in every race... what matters is a person's character. Giving people an opportunity to show who they are matters...

 

But, it's very hard here to ignore race and how it affects us all and it's too bad that it is like this... just thought I'd toss in the unique dynamics here.

[lionfamily1999]

My kids do not yet know the names of different races. Our 7 yo describes people by the actual color of their skin. He will say someone is brown, maybe dark brown, or light brown, or pink or peach. He will also include hair color in the description. He is giving an actual physical description, not a racial identifier. Is it offensive to do this ? It is truly just a description. BTW he once heard the term "black" and asked me what it meant. When I explained, he thought it was silly because there really aren't people with jet black skin.

 

Yesterday he and DS2 were watching Wipeout and he was referring to a "colored guy". I asked him who he was talking about and why he was calling him that. He was the one in the multicolored shirt. There was also a blue guy and a pink girl. He was referring to their outfits, not their skin. I explained to him that he should not refer to people as "colored" because to many people that word is a rude name for people with dark skin. I understand that his use of it was completely innocent but I want to give him information about something others may find offensive. I was not given that information when I was young and didn't find out until I used terms I really had no idea were offensive or mean, and I still feel bad about it.

My ds used to do the same thing... "The brown lady" or "the tan guy," up until his AA teacher informed him that she black (that was in pre-K). After that he had a conversation with a classmate that described his own parents as "white as a piece of paper" and "black, like black."

 

We don't call people "colored" although I have said, that is a group for people of color.

 

In Barry's story, though, the boy in question was the only black person. The same way I'd say, "the blond one" or "the one with blue eyes" in picking someone out of a crowd of otherwise different people, black as a generic descriptive term is just as useful.

 

 

 

 

 

Really, searching a crowd or trying to point out one person in a crowd is like a game of "guess who." It doesn't, to my way of thinking, make sense to tip toe around an obvious feature that would eliminate half the group.

[southcarolinamom]

We live in SC, where about 1/3 of the population is of African American descent. When my kids were in K-1st-2nd grade, we used Crayola's " Multicultural crayons" to talk about how beautiful and varied people's skin color can be.

 

I'll never forget when my daughter came home excitedly from a neighbor's house and informed me, "Mommy, Hanna's skin color is so pretty -- it's called "mahogany!" :)

 

http://www.gotoforms.com/Crayola-Crayons-p/bin52008w.htm

[laundrycrisis]

My ds used to do the same thing... "The brown lady" or "the tan guy," up until his AA teacher informed him that she black (that was in pre-K). After that he had a conversation with a classmate that described his own parents as "white as a piece of paper" and "black, like black."

 

 

My kids were shocked to hear people speak so racially. My boy was new to school and was asked about a new friend on the playground and refered to him as brown and got in huge trouble with the playground supervisor. He cried and cried because he is a sweet, nice boy and didn't know any other way to identify the boy because he was new and didn't know his name. I was sad for my sweet boy, but he learned a quick lesson.

 

 

My son does not label people by color when he is describing them by their skin - he does not say "the brown boy"....he will say "he has light brown skin and dark hair and is wearing a blue shirt". Is that seriously offensive ? Is that something to get into trouble over ? He is not blind. I will not teach him that he cannot physically describe someone accurately as long as it's done in a respectful way and he is not labeling the person (assigning him/her to a category based on skin color). I am working hard to teach him the difference between labeling and describing. I will teach him not to label people by their skin color, but accurately including it in a physical description IMO should not be offensive.

Edited July 14, 2010 by laundrycrisis

[katemary63]

 

 

Denying that the color of your skin is a part of how you look and by being the biggest organ and largest mass of your outer appearance, the easiest identifyable marker, is denying the obvious. Why does it have to be racist to say the obvious?

 

:iagree:I've thought that the entire arguement about not mentioning race/ skin color when talking about someone to be just plain silly.

[lionfamily1999]

My son does not label people by color when he is describing them by their skin - he does not say "the brown boy"....he will say "he has light brown skin and dark hair and is wearing a blue shirt". Is that seriously offensive ? Is that something to get into trouble over ? He is not blind. I will not teach him that he cannot physically describe someone accurately as long as it's done in a respectful way and he is not labeling the person (assigning him/her to a category based on skin color). I am working hard to teach him the difference between labeling and describing. I will teach him not to label people by their skin color, but accurately including it in a physical description IMO should not be offensive.

I don't think it's offensive. I don't think referring to someone as "the brown boy" is offensive. Granted, we've had issues with descriptive terms that are offensive (the lady with the mustache).

 

My son was not "labeling" someone. He was describing them. I'm mildly offended by the idea of having to teach a pre-K student how to dance around a description. If you're orange skinned, then you're orange. It's not a label, it's the color of your skin. As long as pre-concieved notions of character aren't attached then I don't see a problem with it.

[Barry Goldwater]

As far as Barry's story goes... How many boys fit the description the mother gave, up until she said he was black?

 

She NEVER said he was black...that was the whole point of the story...and MANY of the boys fit the description up till then...the gene pool is fairly shallow and lots of folks look alike (the swimming pool, on the other hand, is plenty deep).

 

As far as being 'invisible,' I don't get the comment...sorry...but for clarification, it's a BIG team, very popular with out of towners because of the quality of the coaching, and many of us don't know each other, or each other's kids. We're always going, 'who's that?'

 

I think a lot of the racial strife and being offended can come down to tone, context and history as well...what's acceptable among friends, team-mates, or in a locker room verses a formal dinner, is highly variable, and confusing to outsiders...

[laundrycrisis]

I am choosing to do this to help him avoid accidentally offending people. I know that if he speaks of someone with a label that is really innocent, it may still be taken the wrong way by someone else. We live in a racially mixed area. To me it feels that there is less chance of him offending someone by describing than by saying something that sounds like a label. I am not intending to criticize anyone else for what they teach or don't teach their own children.

 

My son was not "labeling" someone. He was describing them. I'm mildly offended by the idea of having to teach a pre-K student how to dance around a description. .

[lionfamily1999]

I am choosing to do this to help him avoid accidentally offending people. I know that if he speaks of someone with a label that is really innocent, it may still be taken the wrong way by someone else. We live in a racially mixed area. To me it feels that there is less chance of him offending someone by describing than by saying something that sounds like a label. I am not intending to criticize anyone else for what they teach or don't teach their own children.

I see. I misread your tone, I'm sorry.

 

We live in the middle of nowhere, but white is the minority ;) I just struggle to keep the kids from picking up those "descriptive terms" that their playfellows use (the ones that are "okay" for some to use, but not all).

[Lovedtodeath]

We live in SC, where about 1/3 of the population is of African American descent. When my kids were in K-1st-2nd grade, we used Crayola's " Multicultural crayons" to talk about how beautiful and varied people's skin color can be.

 

I'll never forget when my daughter came home excitedly from a neighbor's house and informed me, "Mommy, Hanna's skin color is so pretty -- it's called "mahogany!" :)

 

http://www.gotoforms.com/Crayola-Crayons-p/bin52008w.htm

What a wonderful idea!

Totally unacceptable. Some links on race/language/stereotypes:Over time, he found himself whistling Vivaldi as he walked past, as a way to prevent others from seeing him through the lens of a negative stereotype about young African American men and proneness to violence. His whistling of classical music suggested that the stereotype did not apply to him, and that he was a man of education, “culture,†and “class.â€

Thank you!

 

Only by my mother when describing dark loads of laundry. I cringe every time.

:lol:

 

My kids were shocked to hear people speak so racially. My boy was new to school and was asked about a new friend on the playground and refered to him as brown and got in huge trouble with the playground supervisor. He cried and cried because he is a sweet, nice boy and didn't know any other way to identify the boy because he was new and didn't know his name. I was sad for my sweet boy, but he learned a quick lesson.

 

But, what gets me is that the kids raised here in this situation... the ones who are not white... KNOW that others are not allowed to call them by their color of skin or use the N word and THEY use those words all the time with each other and my kids have experienced that they love to do it in an "in your face" type way... in front of others who are not allowed to use those words... and the teachers look the other way. If we are not supposed to use the N word or the color of skin, why are they allowed to? But they DO... all the time. And many times mocking.

 

Yes. This. Thanks.

[Lovedtodeath]

My son does not label people by color when he is describing them by their skin - he does not say "the brown boy"....he will say "he has light brown skin and dark hair and is wearing a blue shirt". Is that seriously offensive ? Is that something to get into trouble over ? He is not blind. I will not teach him that he cannot physically describe someone accurately as long as it's done in a respectful way and he is not labeling the person (assigning him/her to a category based on skin color). I am working hard to teach him the difference between labeling and describing. I will teach him not to label people by their skin color, but accurately including it in a physical description IMO should not be offensive.

 

I am choosing to do this to help him avoid accidentally offending people. I know that if he speaks of someone with a label that is really innocent, it may still be taken the wrong way by someone else. We live in a racially mixed area. To me it feels that there is less chance of him offending someone by describing than by saying something that sounds like a label. I am not intending to criticize anyone else for what they teach or don't teach their own children.

I think it is a good way of going about it. Thank you for sharing.

[deacongirl]

http://www.newsweek.com/2009/09/04/see-baby-discriminate.html

http://www.newsweek.com/blogs/nurture-shock/2009/09/11/is-discussing-race-with-a-3-year-old-too-young.html

But Harris-Britt explained that if you're reading a picture book to a child, if you are pointing out the red of a balloon, or the yellow of a lion's fur, you can also point out the brown of a person's skin.

Ignoring the color of skin, yet dutifully pointing out the color of every inanimate object and animal, only sends a message to children that talking skin color is taboo.

According to Harris-Britt, teaching a child about race shouldn't consist of acute exposure to race; comfort in racial differences comes through a calm, continuous process of exposure. And that should begin at the very beginning...Says Britt: "Don't make it that the kid has done something wrong because it's about race. It's about courtesy and manners. The question isn't what was wrong. It was the context and how they asked. There's nothing wrong with the question. People are of different colors and heights─it is OK to ask why people are different."

http://www.askmoxie.org/2010/06/discussion-of-nurtureshock-chapter-3-why-white-parents-dont-talk-about-race.html

 

 

Shannon mom to 3 including transracially adopted dd

[PineFarmMom]

I don't know anyone who still uses that term. My grandmother did when she was alive, and she considered it more politically correct, if you will. :lol: It isn't a term I would use. We don't use derogatory terms to label people. I don't like the "n" word or "trash" or any label that would be negative or hurtful to someone in describing their status or race, anything that would imply someone was lower than someone else. It's not how Christ views them and I want my dc to see others the way Christ sees them, as equals. My oldest son was 10 when he asked me what the "n" word was.

Edited July 15, 2010 by Texas T