Is going from 2 to 3 harder than going from 1 to 2?

[Tap]

For us it was equally as hard. We have big age differences so ours isn't a typical family.

 

Ds15 was really sick until he was about 2.5. I was 22 when he was born, so I didn't have any support in his health (no friends, immediate family who would help). He required A Lot of attention. He was active, but a real sweatheart who liked to follow the rules. He is very laid back emotionally. He is a lot like a grandpa...just enjoying watching everyone and everything, content just to be in the room with others. The transition from none to one, was sooo very hard. We had no friends with babies, so while my friends were off enjoying thier young adult lives, I was home with a sick child.

 

DD11 came along 4 years later. She is a bundle of energy and life but liked to throw Major tanturms from about 1yo-5yo. She was a very stressful baby because you never knew if she was going to be the funnest kid in the room or the one screaming the loudest in a fit. The combo of Mr. Meek and this baby who irritated his sensibilities to no end, was really, realy hard. Then adding in the multitaking of two kids, and it was a lot to deal with.

 

I always felt that I was having to protect my boy who was 4yos older, from his little sis! Not physically, but emotionally. They get along fine now, but are radically different people. I don't know if they will continue a relationship when they are adults. They have completely different views on many things already....I can't imagine when they are adults.

 

THEN 8 Years Later....dd3 came to us. First as an unexpected foster child (she is related to us-we got licenced just to take her) who we adopted when she was 3.5. She is a Terror with a capital T. She is in therapy due to her behaviors. She is alcohol and drug affected. When she came into our lives, it was as hard as it could be. We had NO baby proofing, our house was not set up for a baby, we had nothing. We had to buy everything again, adjust to 3 kids in the car and even needed a babysitter again (ds was watching dd11, but I didn't leave the baby with him).

 

The transition was sooo hard to number 3. She also had unique health issues and she consumes so much of my energy every day. She is like oil and water with dd11.

[staceyobu]

Adding number three was a challenge. I never seem to have enough time in a day to sleep, keep things somewhat clean, etc. With just two I seemed to be able to accomplish all the tasks and have some time for facebook! :tongue_smilie:

 

However, my third baby has been by far the sweetest, easiest, happiest baby. I am sooooo glad we have her. When my five year old is talking back and my three year old is having a melt down, she is my little spot of joy in the day. :D

 

I do feel like a third is easier in some ways. You know how you were so much more confident in caring for your second baby? By number three, it is soooo easy to take care of a baby. You know what you're doing, don't get riled up over anything, etc. I have found that this time around we have treasured every moment. We know how quickly babyhood ends. It's all the excitement without the stress.

[sagira]

However, my third baby has been by far the sweetest, easiest, happiest baby. I am sooooo glad we have her. When my five year old is talking back and my three year old is having a melt down, she is my little spot of joy in the day. :D

 

I do feel like a third is easier in some ways. You know how you were so much more confident in caring for your second baby? By number three, it is soooo easy to take care of a baby. You know what you're doing, don't get riled up over anything, etc. I have found that this time around we have treasured every moment. We know how quickly babyhood ends. It's all the excitement without the stress.

 

Thank you for this. I'm starting to feel better already.

[KrissiK]

Well, we adopted. I went from 0-2, since we got a sibling group (13 months old & 4 months old). That was a complete shock to my system. When we adopted our daughter (she was a newborn) it was nothing. Too easy. I mean, it's already chaos, so what's a little more chaos. We're hoping to adopt again and said we'd take a sibling group, so we may be going from 3-5. I'll let you know how that works out for us!:D

[*Inna*]

Congratulations on your Surprise! :D

 

Our transition from 2 to 3 was MUCH easier than 1 to 2. I was much more relaxed and confident as a mother than before. He was a surprise too.

I find that I'm enjoying him more as a baby than previous two.

 

Plus, my girls are old enough to wait for me to finish something with the baby before getting attention and not to have a meltdown. They play together great. They help a lot and entertain their brother.

 

I love being a mother of three! :001_smile:

 

You can do it!

[WarriorMama]

I'm still in shock about being pregnant. Dh and I were very cautious, and well.. I thought I was done. Here I am, 33 years old and pregnant with my third (:001_huh:) child. I'm only 4 weeks along. I found out yesterday. This is a complete surprise.

 

Is it tough going from two to three? Tougher than going from one to two? I thought going to from one to two was rough, as I am an only child myself. I always pictured myself as having two children. I'm happy with my two children. I had plans. Then God throws me a curve-ball :tongue_smilie:

 

What do you think?

 

(Still processing this.)

 

Well I sure hope it's not harder! ;)

 

I am in almost the exact same scenario - I have an almost 6yo and an almost 2yo (who is seriously challenging a lot of the time)...and surprise number 3 on the way! Which means I'll be having this baby smack in the middle of our first year of homeschooling. You know, just to keep things interesting... :tongue_smilie:

 

Happy...but overwhelmed. That pretty much sums it up for me. Congrats on your surprise!

[cjbeach]

I thought it was easy. I had mine all 2 years apart. I even homebirthed at 11pm, got up all night with baby, got up in a.m. and the older 2 helped wash off new baby and snuggled. It was great. :)

[Heidi @ Mt Hope]

I suspect everyone's experience with this will depend on several factors. The #1 factor being the personality of the new baby. :) The #2 factor would be other stressors in life. The #3 factor would be the ages of the other children. I found adding #3 to be more difficult because I had two boys (ages 2 and 4) who needed a lot of attention (and were not capable of helping out without creating even more work for me, IYKWIM), a small house, and many other stressors going on. All of my boys were fairly high-needs babies, and #3 beat the other two hands down. I was so freaking exhausted.

 

We are adding #4 to our family (surprise) this fall. I know many people have said that #4 was a breeze. Maybe it won't be a big deal having 4 kids several years from now, but it has been soooooo difficult to be pregnant/sick/exhausted and take care of three very high-energy, chaotic, curious-George boys at the same time. They really need supervision 24 hours a day. Sigh. And lessons occasionally. Things are a little better now that I'm 5 months along, but I'm NOT looking forward to the last month of pregnancy and the first few months with a newborn. I cannot function without LOTS of sleep, and I have suffered terribly with sleep deprivation with my other 3 boys. And nursing 8 hours a day? My boys are going to have a hay-day with that one....

 

It will be nice that the boys can do a little more to help out now that they are 4, 6, and 8, though. And (I'm not crossing my fingers, here) I may have a really easy going baby. I don't think we make that kind, but I also didn't think we made girls. LOL!

 

Oh, and I don't have anywhere to PUT this baby. Still not sure what we're going to do about that issue.

[SquirrellyMama]

I thought going from 2-3 was so much easier than 1-2. My kids are spaced 2 years apart.

[Jenn in Mo]

A million times easier. 1-2 was hard. REALLY hard.

 

If possible, I would recommend taking #2 out for an official Big Brother day after #3 gets here. A trip to Chucky Cheese or something to celebrate becoming a big sibling. It helps with that transition, imho, and hopefully staves off feelings of middle-child syndrome.

 

#1 will surprise you with being a great help, but that makes it easier to NOT rely on #2 who, though he might not like helping, will resent not being asked to help. Or maybe I'm projecting my children's issues on everyone else's kids. :lol: