How do you know when it age & not a disability?

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

Ok, long story Im going to try to make short and sweet. When my ds was a baby they said he had delays. He didnt talk until he was 2 when we put him into speech therapy. Before that he just grunted and pointed. They immediatly tried saying he was autistic. We just LOVED his speech therapist. She said she thinks he is fine. Just that he didnt have to talk because everybody talked for him. Then we had to move states for work and lost our speech therapist (:crying:) Found a new one who just did NOT connect with us or my son. My son didnt like her one bit. She was hard, cold and not at all inviting. Didnt seem like she should work with kids. She tried saying that he was very developmentally delayed. (he did everything else just fine) BUT he also shut up around her because he said she was mean to him. So we stopped going there. Then there was a lady in the homeschool group that I am a part of who did speech therapy. She said he was dyslexic ( he had JUST turned 3 at that time) She ended up having a falling out with the group organizers and so hasnt come back. The first ST taught us how to work with him and we had been all along and he seems to be doing really good now. He does say what instead of that. (I want the one what is on the table instead of I want the one that is on the table) we are working on that.

 

I had been told by the origional doctor that he would have serious learning diabilities. That he would never function in a normal classroom and that he might not be able to read.

 

OK now the present. Now, he is 5. All my friends say he looks, sounds and acts fine. They cant seen anything "wrong" I found a phonics program that he is easily learning phonics and is starting to write a little. He will be 6 in October.

 

SO would you think this is an age thing or there is really something wrong?

He does do MUCH better with hands on, visual and auditory learning. He LOVES music.

 

Any thoughts?

[Perry]

I think if it were my child, I'd have him tested by a developmental ped or someone else qualified to look for learning and behavioral disorders. He may be just fine, or he may have issues that can only be identified with testing. I don't think I'd put a lot of stock in what my friends say. They might be right, or they might have concerns they aren't comfortable discussing, or they might be missing things a professional would pick up.

[kaylk in tx]

first of all, no one can accurately label someone "dyslexic" at age 3. Educational testing specialists won't consider testing for it until age 7 or 8 and a speech therapist is NOT the one who would be doing the testing. so forget that part of the deal.

 

i have an 8yo who still has difficulty with the "th" sound. he's been checked by my older son's speech therapist and she thinks he'll grow out of it. so if that's the only speech issue he's still having, i'd say it's not a concern at this time.

 

that said, with all the history going back to such an early age, i would feel better having a complete screening done by a developmental pediatrician to see if there was anything that needed to be addressed.

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

I think if it were my child, I'd have him tested by a developmental ped or someone else qualified to look for learning and behavioral disorders. He may be just fine, or he may have issues that can only be identified with testing. I don't think I'd put a lot of stock in what my friends say. They might be right, or they might have concerns they aren't comfortable discussing, or they might be missing things a professional would pick up.

 

 

The nearest one is in Denver Colorado (thats about a 7 hour drive). They said we could make an appointment but without insurance (we will be getting it, my husband just got a job) we would get limited services that have to be payed up front (which we dont have because my husband had been without work since Dec 30 with no unemployment)

 

So we are planning on it but can not atleast for 90 days

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

first of all, no one can accurately label someone "dyslexic" at age 3. Educational testing specialists won't consider testing for it until age 7 or 8 and a speech therapist is NOT the one who would be doing the testing. so forget that part of the deal.

 

 

 

that said, with all the history going back to such an early age, i would feel better having a complete screening done by a developmental pediatrician to see if there was anything that needed to be addressed.

 

 

That was my thought. I asked her about that when she said that and she compared him to how her son was talking. But I told her if I was a speech therapist Im sure he would have been too....

 

We are going to when our ins from my dh new job kicks in. I just wanted to see what other people thought

[kaylk in tx]

is there a university near you? our oldest son was tested for speech and language development at U of Houston and they had a sliding scale based on income. while that wouldn't test everything a developmental pediatrician can check for, it would be a start. their education department might also offer low cost screenings for learning disabilities.

[Mom-ninja.]

He's doing fine? Then just continue happily with what you are doing.

[Wheres Toto]

Sounds like my son. He never progressed beyond individual words and making babble sounds. He started Early Intervention at our schools when he was three and within a couple months was talking much better. He was declassified at the end of the year. He had speech therapists, occupational therapists, and 3 special ed teachers/aides in a class of only 6 kids. They were never worried about any other problems since his speech was the only thing that seemed "off" (most of the other kids in the class were autistic).

 

He still mumbles some words and pronounces some things a little off but most people say they would never think he had a problem (he never stops talking and talks to everyone he meets).

 

You mentioned your son was a visual learner - my son is too. A VERY definite visual spatial learner. He's learning phonics, loves math but is a lousy listener - he has to see it to learn it.

 

If you are concerned, then get him tested but I've found that some people just love trying to make you think something is wrong - they seem to think it makes them sound intelligent. You know your son best.

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

He's doing fine? Then just continue happily with what you are doing.

 

No. We live a little burg in Wyoming. We moved from Michigan and we do visit family there every year or so. Maybe I will look into the university of Michigan. I know they have alot of programs there. How long did it take? (Im only asking because that would involve an extended stay with my Mother in law)

[wapiti]

This reminds me a bit of one of my kids. My first three kids had speech delays. One is still in speech therapy at 7 y.o. He is definitely a visual learner and loves piano. Back when he was 3 y.o., the testing with the school district showed that he was severely developmentally delayed, according to the school psychologist. This was not a huge surprise on the one hand (he was a small for gestational age premie) but on the other hand I had to laugh inside, because I knew my son. Sure enough, here he is in first grade, calculating exponents in his head. That's not to say that he doesn't have issues (in particular he has a language processing problem and kinda slow processing speed, according to our most recent private testing), but he is a very bright boy.

 

It's unclear from your post what the issue is at the moment. Does he need more speech therapy? Are you concerned that he has learning disability issues?

 

Why not just have the school district evaluate him? At 5, they might even do a more global assessment (IQ and achievement testing). Personally, having done both, I prefer the private testing as providing a whole lot more info, but cost is a problem (it can be expensive - not so much the test as the interpretation of the results, which can be rather tricky in some cases), then I'd consider calling the school district, the special ed department.

 

I wouldn't take him to a developmental pediatrician unless there were issues you were dealing with that needed sorting out (i.e. labeling). Are there sensory issues?

 

But if there aren't any problems at the moment, and you don't feel as though something is lurking beneath the surface that needs to be addressed, I'd let sleeping dogs lie, and consider educational testing in a year or two to make sure any learning issues are covered. If there are issues, the test results look different at different ages (BTDT).

 

I haven't looked at this, but will the school district provide IEP services if you are homeschooling? Food for thought.

Edited April 1, 2010 by wapiti

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

He is EXTREMELY sensitive but some boys are. But other than that I honestly dont see anything wrong (maybe thats looking through moms eyes I dont know)

[Willow]

I would go with your instincts. I know all kids are different, there are many homeschool stories of kids who didn't read until they were 9.10.11 or whatever who did really well.

 

My own experience. DD1 didn't talk until she was 3, (oh how we worried back then!) then she talked in sentences and it became apparent she could also read! How did that happen?

 

DD2 was diagnosed with a severe mental disorder at birth. She would have major intellectual and developmental delays all her life. She is dyslexic (diagnosed at 10) she is also at Polytechnic (college) studying what she wanted to study and doing well...She developed just fine, with no intervention.

 

DS. Runs about 18 months developmentally behind his chronological age. He would make a great 12 and a half year old...in ability, emotionally, size, development etc. yet he is almost 14. But he keeps going! he keeps developing at the same pace, he is just 'young for his age'. I provide educational material for the 12-13 age group, not the 13-14 age group, and he does well.

 

Sometimes an official diagnosis helps, sometimes it hinders. With ds I have kept him away from testing as both girls were tested and, apart from the dyslexia one, none of them helped, and he is a little young to be diagnosed dyslexic.

 

If he seems fine to you, fine to your dearest best friend...the one who won't lie to make you feel better..., and fine to granny, then carry on! He's probably fine!

[kaylk in tx]

No. We live a little burg in Wyoming. We moved from Michigan and we do visit family there every year or so. Maybe I will look into the university of Michigan. I know they have alot of programs there. How long did it take? (Im only asking because that would involve an extended stay with my Mother in law)

 

the speech/language testing was only a 2-3 hour session. it was really cool because i could watch behing a mirror (you know, like in cop shows) with the professor who was monitoring it. graduate students did the testing and the professor would call in if she thought there was something they needed to do differently. definitely go ahead and call them to find out how long the testing would be and how long it would be before he could get put on the schedule.

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

Sorry I quoted the wrong post :blushing:

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

the speech/language testing was only a 2-3 hour session. it was really cool because i could watch behing a mirror (you know, like in cop shows) with the professor who was monitoring it. graduate students did the testing and the professor would call in if she thought there was something they needed to do differently. definitely go ahead and call them to find out how long the testing would be and how long it would be before he could get put on the schedule.

 

 

Thank you I will!

[Wheres Toto]

He is EXTREMELY sensitive but some boys are. But other than that I honestly dont see anything wrong (maybe thats looking through moms eyes I dont know)

 

This sounds like my son too. He's very sensitive and emotional, hates getting his hands dirty, hates certain sounds (waterfalls, even quiet ones bother him), hates the sun in his eyes and is an EXTREMELY picky eater - will never try new things, not even candy.

 

I don't consider any of this a disability. Just little quirks of his personality.

[Tap]

I would look into having him evaluated through Early Intervention. It is through the school district and is designed to help get kids identified earlier than K-1st grade and to get them help if needed. The testing is free.

 

We had dd3 evaluated at 1.5yo. She has behavior issues and sensory issues. Since she is on 'age level' for her developmental needs she didn't qualify for Early Intervention, but the process of testing really helped me identify some key points in her development.

 

The team who evaluated her were able to tell me what each part of her testing showed and how they judge the different mile stones in a child. They had her evaluated by 5 different specialists including speech, developmental, OT, PT and behavioral. The questions really helped me to identify more about her and gave me a gauge to watch for problems in the future.

 

Since she didn't qualify for EI, I was referred to a behavior specialist and an OT for private pay. Her state insurance covers the private pay component.

[Tap]

This sounds like my son too. He's very sensitive and emotional, hates getting his hands dirty, hates certain sounds (waterfalls, even quiet ones bother him), hates the sun in his eyes and is an EXTREMELY picky eater - will never try new things, not even candy.

 

I don't consider any of this a disability. Just little quirks of his personality.

 

These 'quirks' can often be helped with sensory therapy. If you are ever interested in getting more information, you may look into a occupational therapy.

[KristenS]

Testing can at least help with peace of mind.

 

My kids were both slow talkers. (No real words till after two, but all sorts of expressive babble, that kind of thing.) With my first, of course it kept worrying me. (He was slow to walk and everything else too.) Every time my family doc would say, "We'll wait one more appointment and then make a referral" ... he'd make the leap to the next skill. Go figure. And then he'd give me some new delay to worry about.

 

Coupled with some of his behaviors in his infant and toddler and preschool years, we actually suspected autism. We worked strenuously on his behavior issues, but I finally begged dh for testing. Kiddo was 5 at the time, and because of the work we'd done, she decided he was just bright and quirky. (Of course, he was an angel at the appointment, and had the meltdown to end all meltdowns just as we got to the car. LOL.) So I've gone with that. He's definitely bright, and probably on the gifted spectrum, but he sure has his quirks. But he's mostly outgrown the tantrums ... still a sensitive kid, but we've worked on coping skills.

 

Even today, he has some 'delays' ... at age 8 still can't ride a bicycle with training wheels ... but hasn't wanted to until recently, a trike was fine for him. And so on. Working on handwriting. Stuff like that. But I've come to accept it's just where he is, and no big deal.

 

Still, if I spotted further things that had me worried, I'd go for testing again. It helped to have a professional take a look, even if it was just for that one day. In fact, next year, we'll probably spring for IQ testing (out of pocket, alas), because given his gifts and quirks, I'd still like to know what we're dealing with. (And as the poor kid inherits so much from me and dh, it would be very helpful ... he sure gets my anxious personality!). With younger kiddo, we'll likely do the same when she's in about 3rd grade, as she seems to be on the same path, with just fewer quirks and motor delays.

 

Just a ramble to say, it doesn't hurt to test (with someone competent) ... it can be reassuring, and even if there's not a 'real' problem, they can still give you pointers to help with any concerns.

[Wheres Toto]

These 'quirks' can often be helped with sensory therapy. If you are ever interested in getting more information, you may look into a occupational therapy.

 

He had a year of occupational therapy while he was in Early Intervention. Didn't really help. They were able to occasionally get him to participate in messy activities (they liked to do painting with shaving cream), he used to be worse with the waterfalls, but nothing gets him to eat something he doesn't want. They often used different foods doing exercises as part of the therapy and he was very frustrating to them.

 

Other than I would like it if he would eat some different foods (although that wasn't my oldest dd's strong point either until she was 8 or 9) none of it really affects his daily life in any way.

[Pamela H in Texas]

A couple random thoughts.

 

First, let me tell you that there can be INCREDIBLE differences between beginning school age and beginning high school.

 

My son was VERY similar to yours. At 22mo, he finally said mama. He had some neat abilities and ways about him but he was extremely delayed in some ways. We always seemed to be going 2 steps forward 1 back OR 1 step forward, 2 back! It was constant and still is in some ways.

 

It was frustrating schooling him because he could fill out any workbook page, but couldn't USe the information. It was crazy. Anyway, but he eventually learned to read. He eventually picked up lots of information. He has done tons of math, again going forward some, back some, then back forward.

 

By the end of 7th grade, he was on the low side of average. In 9th grade, he's got a high B average (he uses a program) though his math and writing classes (supplemental) are a bit lower.

 

Anyway, I think you should consider strong comprehensive evaluations. I definitely think you should teach very strong curriculum, especially in the 3Rs. However, I wouldn't write his story yet. When my son was 10, I still was sure he wouldn't be able to be independent, educated enough to do for himself, etc. Now I think otherwise. He wn't be attending Stanford, but he's going to be okay :)

[Just Robyn]

He does say what instead of that. (I want the one what is on the table instead of I want the one that is on the table) we are working on that.

 

I believe this is a grammar thing, not a speech thing, and I don't think it needs to be worked on. He should figure it out eventually. 'what' and 'that' have some similar properties in grammar and I believe this is a common mistake in children's speech.

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

I would go with your instincts. I know all kids are different, there are many homeschool stories of kids who didn't read until they were 9.10.11 or whatever who did really well.

 

My own experience. DD1 didn't talk until she was 3, (oh how we worried back then!) then she talked in sentences and it became apparent she could also read! How did that happen?

 

DD2 was diagnosed with a severe mental disorder at birth. She would have major intellectual and developmental delays all her life. She is dyslexic (diagnosed at 10) she is also at Polytechnic (college) studying what she wanted to study and doing well...She developed just fine, with no intervention.

 

DS. Runs about 18 months developmentally behind his chronological age. He would make a great 12 and a half year old...in ability, emotionally, size, development etc. yet he is almost 14. But he keeps going! he keeps developing at the same pace, he is just 'young for his age'. I provide educational material for the 12-13 age group, not the 13-14 age group, and he does well.

 

Sometimes an official diagnosis helps, sometimes it hinders. With ds I have kept him away from testing as both girls were tested and, apart from the dyslexia one, none of them helped, and he is a little young to be diagnosed dyslexic.

 

If he seems fine to you, fine to your dearest best friend...the one who won't lie to make you feel better..., and fine to granny, then carry on! He's probably fine!

 

 

That really makes alot of sense. He is doing ok, just a little slower than maybe he should be. I was talking to a friend about that today also and she also said to just keep going with whats working with him. We wouldnt do medication unless absolutly needed-- and as of right now thats not the case. So I guess I needed to hear that from somebody else! So for now we are just going to get curriculum that works for him!

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

I believe this is a grammar thing, not a speech thing, and I don't think it needs to be worked on. He should figure it out eventually. 'what' and 'that' have some similar properties in grammar and I believe this is a common mistake in children's speech.

 

 

Thats just a small part of it, but I do think we are just going to go with what works for him!

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

A couple random thoughts.

 

First, let me tell you that there can be INCREDIBLE differences between beginning school age and beginning high school.

 

My son was VERY similar to yours. At 22mo, he finally said mama. He had some neat abilities and ways about him but he was extremely delayed in some ways. We always seemed to be going 2 steps forward 1 back OR 1 step forward, 2 back! It was constant and still is in some ways.

 

It was frustrating schooling him because he could fill out any workbook page, but couldn't USe the information. It was crazy. Anyway, but he eventually learned to read. He eventually picked up lots of information. He has done tons of math, again going forward some, back some, then back forward.

 

By the end of 7th grade, he was on the low side of average. In 9th grade, he's got a high B average (he uses a program) though his math and writing classes (supplemental) are a bit lower.

 

Anyway, I think you should consider strong comprehensive evaluations. I definitely think you should teach very strong curriculum, especially in the 3Rs. However, I wouldn't write his story yet. When my son was 10, I still was sure he wouldn't be able to be independent, educated enough to do for himself, etc. Now I think otherwise. He wn't be attending Stanford, but he's going to be okay :)

 

 

Thank you! I needed this too! So many people with encouragement! Thank you sooo much! :grouphug:

[PinkInTheBlue]

Our 3 boys have been all over the spectrum in developmental differences. One son not only walked early but talked early and could even identify several colors by the time he was 1! Another son didn't even say "mama" until 2 and didn't walk until 16 months but then exploded in both areas to now amazes me at 3 1/2 with the enormous list of sight words he knows that I haven't even taught him yet. 2 of my 3 boys have been very late to do things and then just explode with understanding and take off. I say about both of them that they don't "learn" or "try" to do things. They just wait until the day they are ready to do them and just do it.

 

I'm not one for worry. I believe most kids learn things when they are ready. I believe for most children you can tell if they are learning slowly (at their pace) or truly having problems learning. If you see him progressing (it really sounds like it to me) then he'll get it. I know others disagree. :)

 

That said, dyslexic at 3? Diagnosing delays as a baby? Speech therapy at 2? I just don't think that gives room for variations of learning timing.