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Did YOU or DH go to an elite college, and do you expect/hope for the same for yr kids


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I went to a small private, Christian university. It has a good reputation, but it's definitely not "elite". Those were some of the best years of my life and I will be thrilled if my children go there. DD is already planning to go with the daughter of a friend I made there. :)

 

DH went to a major state university (not top 20, but it is in the top 50, so not bad). He wants our kids to go to the school I went to, after listening to my experiences there. :D

 

We will not be able to afford an elite school and would hate to have our children burdened with the debt of it. They have no desire to pursue the type of majors that would allow them to pay it off. DD wants to pursue a career in art, for pete's sake. No great earning potential there. LOL

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DH and I both attended a top 10 school. WE definitely saw the benefit of our coursework compared to others from other schools (and in my dh case, from the AFA). He ended up being able to do extra classes in his masters since he had done some of them already as an undergraduate. No only did he get a great physics education there, but he also became a much better writer. I had a similar great education.

 

Now our children are doing different things. DS wanted a smaller school in a not urban area and that is where he started. He is finishing up in a large state school in a suburban area. DD1 is looking at good colleges but since she doesn't like cold, nor does she like co-ed dorm rooms, that leaves highly regarded, but less well-known nationally, good schools. Depending on her future test scores and whether she likes some schools, she may have one or two on the top 20 list. THe others will be in the top lists of their particular area- Regional Liberal arts, etc.

 

Number three hasn't started high school yet so it is still a bit long off. She is thinking about engineering and yes, if that is the case, she will be looking at top twenty engineering schools or what she really wants to do is a split course with first years at a LAC then engineering school. We shall see.

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Dh was accepted to a couple top 10, but stayed in-state to be with me (not a wise choice). My oldest has Northwestern on her short list, along with Juilliard, and Royal Academy of Dramatic Art (London).

 

I have no idea how we will be able to pay for any of this. So hopefully she will do amazingly well in the next four years, and earn a ton of scholarships. Otherwise, it looks like UGA.

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We will not be able to afford an elite school and would hate to have our children burdened with the debt of it. They have no desire to pursue the type of majors that would allow them to pay it off. DD wants to pursue a career in art, for pete's sake. No great earning potential there. LOL

 

I've mentioned this before, but the top schools have VERY generous financial aid for low-to-moderate income families. Going to an Ivy League school can often be MUCH cheaper than going to the local state school.

 

Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Stanford, Columbia, Dartmouth, Brown, Cornell, Duke, MIT, and a number of other schools have eliminated tuition for students whose families earn below a certain amount. At Harvard it's free under $60k and limited to 10% of the family's income between $60-$200k.

 

Don't rule out an elite school until you've gotten the financial aid package. You just may find it's within your means :)

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Top 50 but not top 20. :)

 

For my kids it just depends what their goals are. Sure going to an Ivy represents connections, but if one wants to be a teacher or a physical therapist, nurse, or similar profession, it doesn't matter enough to pay the big bucks for a higher name recognition school. If there is a specific goal for science, engineering, music, pre-med, pre-law, then it might be worth it. Schollarships also matter. If they can get into Yale, but school # 35 offers a better deal, then that matters too.

 

Several dentists, pharmacists, and other professionals I know went to tier 3 or 4 schools on that list (I am one of those that actually notices the diplomas on the wall and takes note ). Yet they are great at what they do.

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DH and I both went to Carnegie Mellon via APEA (early admission program for accelerated/gifted students), and I think both of us would love to see DD eventually do it too. Which may be why she gets to go play on the campus playground every time we're in Pittsburgh:). For me, at least, CMU was the first place I ever really felt like I belonged and fit in, so there's a major emotional tie there-not to mention that I met the man I married there!

My ds is enamored with the idea of going to CMU for robotics engineering. Then he realizes how far away it is and says **SU will be fine (strong, nationally known engineering program). Where ever he ends up will be fine - he's so young & really just enjoys the robots at this point, but by the time he gets to high school he could have a fascination with British literature!

 

DS went to a top school, but I went to a small state school. The engineering foundation dh received at school gave him a great foot in the door when starting his career. He later earned his masters at a **SU(it was local). Not sure if he'll work on his doctorate there or not.

Edited by TechWife
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Don't rule out an elite school until you've gotten the financial aid package. You just may find it's within your means :)

 

It's just not the path that I would choose for my children. I don't believe they have the drive for it, either.

 

I have absolutely no desire for my children to attend an "elite" school.

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I have absolutely no desire for my children to attend an "elite" school.

 

I feel this way too, so it's nice hearing someone else with the same thoughts. My middle son would be competitive for entry, but it's just not the life I'm looking for for him - nor the life I think he'd be happy with for undergrad. Elite can happen in grad school pending who's doing the research he wants to join.

 

That said, I do want him to go to an academically good school, so we are being selective, but there are still many to consider. There's just a lot about elite schools that turn me off for undergrad.

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