Omnibus I assignment made me laugh till i cried :-D Hope you laugh, too!

[LauraQ]

Dd (8th gr) was told to write a Herodotus-style history of an insignificant event. Being a fan of WoW (she plays with dh) she decided to describe an MMORPG battle. If you know Herodotus and also know anything about MMOs or even if you merely hold stereotypes in your mind about people who play online computer games, you will get it... (please keep in mind this is a hastily posted 2nd draft LOL)

 

 

 

Book II

 

 

In the Eastern Kingdoms of Azr-roth, Telaron the Army General woke up from a deep sleep in his camp tent, slightly woozy from the Rumsey Rum Light he had consumed the night before. Rumsey Rum Light, I am told, is a frothy alcoholic drink that can be very good unless you have a lot of it. Telaron walked out of the tent and called out, “Oh, mages, shamans, and other magical beings, lay your hands on me that I may be blessed with the mana you hold at your finger tips.â€

Sarah Springwater, Leader of the Mages, Tra-mek, Wise Woman of the Shamans, Mashti the Abbot of the Priesthood, and Dinele, Head Paladin, stood up from their eating and complied.

“Oh, great warrior and leader,†asked Sarah as her mottled undead fingers literally worked their magic, “In what position shall the sun be at the start of the battle?â€

“…†said Telaron, staring off into the air above.

Dinele looked up but saw nothing. After meditating on the event taking place, Mashti came to a conclusion and promptly said, “oh @$#%&!â€

 

* * * * *

 

 

Now in a far away land that many people call heyoostonteksus, a boy of sixteen years called Taylor turned around from his computer. Sweat poured down his adolesant face despite the three fans pointed at him.

“Oh mother of mine, why must you turn off my monitor at such a crucial time as this? Come now, let me stay on the computer for a half hour longer.â€

I must say I was at first confused at being told that he was on the computer until learning that “on†was often used to describe the using of.

Taylor’s mother, who went by the name of Suuzie Berkins, looked at Taylor warily “Oh son of mine, look here and listen to my words. Your chores are not done and you know of the laws of this land. While your father is away you act lazily, but when he is home you work and he praises you. Ah but see I am not fooled by your treachery! So I tell you to get to work now.†Taylor sighed and got up from his velvet throne. Ten minutes after this he came back, readjusted his fans, and sat back down.

 

* * * * *

 

 

The Mana Leaders were sitting in a circle around Telaron chanting.

“Are you sure this will work?†asked Tra-mek to Mashti, who answered, “SHUT-IT!†Mashti was in a bad temper because of how often Telaron would “ayefkay†as they called it.

“I am back my fellows,†said Telaron, standing up from his previous sitting position. “Shall you all be ready for the fight?†They all glared at him, got up and went to their battle formations.

The battle went well for the Horde—as Telaron and his men called themselves—Telaron killed 30 men, 20 others with the help of Dinele, and even a Rouge who was sneaking up on one of his men. Telaron knew he would receive many honor points which can only be guessed to be a second currency. Suddenly, in the heat of battle there was a blinding flash and the earth broke open. Lava seeped up through the crack and out came a dragon bigger than even Tra-mek had seen in her many years.

“Feast your eyes on my glory and fear me!†the dragon roared, “I am Darkwing! Master of Fire, and Slayer of the Living.†Darkwing lifted his, head opened his mouth, and shot fire at them all. That last thing Telaron saw was Mashti raising his arms followed by a blue flash.

Only five people survived the Battle of Iron and Fire as it was later called.

Mashti had cast a shield around himself, Telaron, Dinele, Sarah, and Tra-mek.

The years that followed were hard as the dragon Darkwing destroyed near all of Azr-roth. Even the Lich King of Northrend soiled his undead pants. But the people of Azr-roth still have hope, for they believe in the prophesy of a young rogue by the name of Dinmordon who, after years of training, will smite Darkwing and take back the land.

[Corraleno]

Taylor’s mother, who went by the name of Suuzie Berkins, looked at Taylor warily “Oh son of mine, look here and listen to my words. Your chores are not done and you know of the laws of this land. While your father is away you act lazily, but when he is home you work and he praises you. Ah but see I am not fooled by your treachery! So I tell you to get to work now.†Taylor sighed and got up from his velvet throne. Ten minutes after this he came back, readjusted his fans, and sat back down.

 

:lol:

 

I need to memorize this speech. I also loved "soiled his undead pants," LOL. What a fun assignment!

 

Jackie

[justamouse]

THAT was awesome. Brilliantly awesome. I love your kid.

[Remudamom]

You got to watch that Rumsey Rum Light. Personally I prefer Cap't Morgan.

[Tree House Academy]

How funny! Humor aside, though, your dd is a talented writer. That is beyond excellent given her age!

[Karenciavo]

Very good! I know nothing about WoW and still enjoyed it very much. :001_smile:

[ncmomo3]

My 8th grade dd just read it and thought it was a riot.

[elegantlion]

I shall read that to my ds. We don't play WoW either, but that is hilarious. :lol:Thanks for sharing. I love that homeschooling allows their creativity to flow.

[ChristusG]

That's great! We don't play WoW, so I have no idea about it, but the writing was great!