Kimm in WA Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 My hubby's best friend of 40 yrs. died last week. The memorial service will be held at an Episcopal church. We live in a rural area where funeral attire can be anything from new Levi's an a fitted cowboy shirt, to business casual, to suit & tie. he service we are attending will be in Spokane, WA, a larger city. I am wondering if business casual - dark khaki's, shirt, (w/ or w/o tie?) - is appropriate for my hubby, or if he should wear a suit (not sure he has one that fits anymore, but maybe it's time to get one). I am planning on wearing a brown tweed-ish suit with a furry collar & cuffs (and a little bling (for my conservative tastes anyway) in the form of an antique pin on) all borrowed from my MIL who says it's appropriate. I'm going to wear brown pumps with it. I have 3 teenage boys. Would slacks & dress shirt be OK, or do you think ties? Are "dress shoes" necessary, or can they wear their brown shoes that are somewhat like sneakers on the bottom but nicer-looking (what they would wear to church). I know so much of this is a regional thing and varies by church. I know nothing of Episcopal churches. Suggestions? I'd appreciate any advice! Kimm in WA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 I think your DH would be fine with either outfit, but perhaps fit in better in a suit. If your boys have dress shoes, I think they should wear them, but I wouldn't buy them for the occasion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
athena1277 Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 I think they would be fine without suits. I would say your dh would only have to wear a suit if he were a pallbearer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kimm in WA Posted February 3, 2010 Author Share Posted February 3, 2010 Friend wanted to be cremated, so no pallbearers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MIch elle Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 people across the board are dressing less and less formal even in church. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BikeBookBread Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 My hubby's best friend of 40 yrs. died last week. The memorial service will be held at an Episcopal church. ....he service we are attending will be in Spokane, WA, a larger city. Is it at the St. John's Episcopal cathedral up on South Hill on Grand & 12th Ave? If so, it's a pretty amazing place. (DH attended Gonzaga, and we lived on South Hill for 4 years before he joined the Air Force.) If it's there, I would suggest you lean towards the dressier choices. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kimm in WA Posted February 3, 2010 Author Share Posted February 3, 2010 Stephanie, yes it is at St. John's Cathedral. http://www.stjohns-cathedral.org/ Kimm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 Stephanie, yes it is at St. John's Cathedral. http://www.stjohns-cathedral.org/ Kimm Definitely the boys should wear ties--jackets, too, if they have them. And I would suggest that your DH wear the suit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaMa2005 Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 I was brought up at The Cathedral of St. Philip (http://www.stphilipscathedral.org/) and St. John's looks very similar. At the larger Episcopal churches, they do tend to lean toward a dressier attire. What I would wear to my home church (in the suburbs of ATL) is nothing like what I wear when I go to any type of service at the Cathedral. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie4b Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 You can always call the church and ask the person who answers the phone. She'll know what's appropriate for their church. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 Remember you are there for a funeral and not a fashion show. Your husband is the best friend no matter what he wears. If you think it's time for a new suit you're bound to find one on sale this time of year. I would dress the boys in their best but not buy new shoes. I've been to more Episcopal services than most and closer family and friends tend to wear suits or jackets. I'm sorry for your loss and hope the service is a blessing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kimm in WA Posted February 3, 2010 Author Share Posted February 3, 2010 Thanks for the advice and words of condolences. Yay, DH's suit DOES fit. It is navy blue. We're good there. Wondering about ties for the boys...? They don't have jackets and we'll skip them b/c they won't wear them again before they outgrow them. TIA! Kimm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 I always think it's nice when my son gets a chance to practice wearing a tie. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 I would dress for the position dh holds as Best Friend for 40 Years, rather than for the church. I would dress in the dressiest clothes I had for a friendship that lasted 40 years, in order to give an outward disply of the deepest of respect for my friend. I wouldn't necessarily buy the kids new shoes, but dh should dress as dressily as he can with what he has. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 All of that attire sounds fine. I think that since this man was so close to your dh, he might consider wearing a suit. Sorry for the loss.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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