Homeschool "impostors"

[Dawn in OH]

 

 

 

Has anyone ever heard of this before?

Have you ever suspected somebody was a "homeschooling impostor"?

Do you think she meant unschoolers, and they just seemed like impostors to her?

Whether you've met them or not, do you think there are people who "pretend" to homeschool just to be truant?

Do you think that other people (non-homeschoolers) suspect than many homeschoolers are really just truant?

 

 

Have fun! ;)

 

Jenny

 

Yes.

Yes.

Possibly.

Yes.

Yes.

 

I know a family that we've had many play dates with. I've been to their house twice, and they have been to our house more times than I can count. Their nearly 8 year old daughter doesn't seem to know anything except some facts about Native Americans and some yoga positions. I don't think she can count beyond 20. If she can, she certainly doesn't understand the value of those numbers. She's simply reciting. I've often wondered if they are homeschooling, unschooling, or impostors. But, it's really none of my business.

[jld]

This question just seems so judgmental. Who do you think is a parenting imposter? A husband/wife imposter? An employee imposter? A Christian imposter?

 

When people don't meet our standards, they are imposters, right? We are the rightful judges. We know best . . . for everyone.

[Pamela H in Texas]

jld, I think you can look at it a few ways.

 

There most certainly ARE imposters of different kinds. Most of those you listed effect mostly the immediate family so that is just their business. If your hubby is being an imposter, you make decisions regarding working with him or kicking him to the curb. But it doesn't effect someone you have never met 300 miles away.

 

The employee imposter WILL be judged, in time, and likely gotten rid of so that he doesn't bring down the company.

 

Homeschoolers and non-homeschoolers who claim homeschooling all have a great deal of opportunity to cause an effect on the rest of homeschoolers in time. For example, on some VA homeschool group pages, it is VERY clear not to give more information than required when filing to homeschool because it can be so detrimental to everyone, again, in time.

 

And no one is saying there is ONE best way to homeschool. The thread outlines that there are lots of acceptable homeschooling methods from unschooling to school at home. But there ARE people who say they are homeschooling, but just DON"T. And just like the employee who is sucking from the company, families who are neglecting their children's educations under the guise of homeschooling are detrimental to what is still our movement.

 

And worse? Well, for example, my hubby works construction. A LOT of people out there do drugs, even out on the jobsite. He watched someone make a "straw" and go into a port-a-potty the other day. SICKENING! Those people are putting my hubby and the other thousands of guys out there at risk. They can also be making mistakes that will cause problems down the road. When people see a non-schooling family rather than a homeschooling family (and in some areas, they are much more likely to see the former, unfortunately), they may make choices in their own families based on those "uneducated homeschoolers." Additionally, they could be at risk due to other issues with non-schooling. And yes, I do think that though DIFFERENT, that non-schooling can be compared to drug use.

 

Anyway, so I think it is right that we don't point fingers; but have discussions about what homeschooling IS and what it is not.

[Renee in NC]

Yes.

Yes.

Possibly.

Yes.

Yes.

 

I know a family that we've had many play dates with. I've been to their house twice, and they have been to our house more times than I can count. Their nearly 8 year old daughter doesn't seem to know anything except some facts about Native Americans and some yoga positions. I don't think she can count beyond 20. If she can, she certainly doesn't understand the value of those numbers. She's simply reciting. I've often wondered if they are homeschooling, unschooling, or impostors. But, it's really none of my business.

 

If an 8yo cannot count beyond 20, I seriously doubt it has anything to do with not being taught.

[Mejane]

This question just seems so judgmental. Who do you think is a parenting imposter? A husband/wife imposter? An employee imposter? A Christian imposter?

 

When people don't meet our standards, they are imposters, right? We are the rightful judges. We know best . . . for everyone.

 

So your position is that there are no "imposters?" I submit we all know lazy, phony people in all the areas you mentioned; I know I do, and it has nothing to do with my standards. They practically brag about it. :glare:

[gpsings]

Honestly, I had no idea there were 'non-schoolers' out there. I guess it just never occurred to me that someone would do that to their child!

I've actually had debates with non-home-schoolers about the validity of that argument, because I was sure that was ridiculous. Why would someone keep their child home instead of just sending them to a government imposed daycare if they are that lazy? Why would someone want to have their kids around if they didn't care about them?

I guess you learn something new every day, but this one saddens me. I hope we in this movement can confront this when we see it, because it does affect us and the general opinion of all homeschools.

[Jean in Wisc]

Yes, I'd say impostors are a good name for some of them. The ones I am familiar with are families that have been fighting with the school district over little Johnny's behavior and finally mom blows up and yanks him out of school, claiming she will homeschool him. She goes to work each day while Johnny plays video games and watches TV. The following year she enrolls her son back into the school system, and the teachers see an even worse behaving child who is now a grade behind his peers.

 

It is my opinion that a number of teachers hate homeschooling because this is the type of people they see doing it. I've had more than a few teachers who have known me long enough to see that I am teaching my kids and they are succeeding in their education. They often say they notice that I am bending over backwards to give them an above average education--and that they would not mind the homeschool movement if my type of homeschooling was what they were seeing in the school system. They have enough to do without trying to figure out what to do with little Johnny now that he has been dumped back into their classroom of 30 some kids, all with their own set of problems.

 

It is people who see these "homeschoolers" that I often get into conversations with about the need to test and add laws to Wisconsin's homeschooling to be certain that the kids are being taught. I have had many, many conversations with them, pointing out that these are the kids who are falling through the cracks in school and out of school. It is the child whose mom, when told that Johnny is failing Science, laughs uproariously saying that she, too, failed science and he's just a chip off the old block. (And yes, I was a teacher and I had a mother say this.) I point out to them that Johnny is not learning much in public school because there is no parental support or expectation, and whether he is home or in school, not much good is going to come of it. It is a bad idea to make laws based upon the few families that do a bad job of homeschooling. An extremely high majority of homeschoolers are giving their kids an education, and the laws support them and protect them. Changing the laws to make homeschoolers jump through more hoops will not make Johnny learn more or better.

 

I have had many, many, many, many people tell me that they had NEVER thought about it from this perspective and they were going to have to rethink their standing on it. It is as though they have seen this tidbit of reality for the 1st time, and they see truth in my arguement (you know, the light bulb goes on. LOL!). "No One Left Behind" is an ideology--a great slogan. It is NOT reality.

 

Ah...time for making Sunday lunch...so off I go. Good chatting with y'all. :D

Edited October 10, 2010 by Jean in Wisc

[jld]

I don't know if there are any "homeschooling imposters". I do know there are many judgmental homeschoolers, though.

 

This is such a slippery slope. . .

 

Imagine one church owned Christianity, and insisted, by law, that you follow their teachings. You could "opt out" of youth instruction, but only if you did it at home with their materials, subject to their inspection. Let's say you decided in time that you had your own views and they seemed more truthful than the church's. You decide to go with your own teachings, which might just be, "Kids, God loves everybody, so let's skip the Bible lessons and head to the beach. God wants us to enjoy His creation!"

 

Scandalous! The church ladies will be after you! They aren't going to let some "imposter" like you mess up those kids! Thank God for standards and regulations! Thank God for "responsible" people like them to keep "imposters" like you in line!

 

My position: Keep focused on your own family. Take care of your own kids. Mind your own business. A lack of schooling isn't the worst thing that can happen to a person, and might even be healthy, at least until the person asks for it.

 

"Vive tu vida, no la mia."

[Happy2BaMom]

Scandalous! The church ladies will be after you! They aren't going to let some "imposter" like you mess up those kids! Thank God for standards and regulations! Thank God for "responsible" people like them to keep "imposters" like you in line!

 

Sigh. You hear that people are judging for the sake of judging. Those of us (including me) who do not care for the impostors see a bigger picture at stake.

 

There were ENORMOUS battles fought to make homeschooling legal in all 50 states. A big part of those battles was winning support from legislators (and, by default, the greater public) and getting them to believe that parents were capable of instructing their children and, thereby, that parents deserved freedom from regulation by the state.

 

Impostors undermine that original argument. They decrease support for homeschooling when the ignorance of the children becomes apparent to the greater public. (Case in point: my bil has a family of children in his church who are hs'ed. None of the children can read yet - and the youngest is in fourth grade. My bil now thinks the lack of regulation in hsing is "crazy", "to the detriment of the child", "should be fixed".)

 

That's what is behind the concern about impostors for many of us. And that is a very different issue than being "church ladies".

[Pamela H in Texas]

Again jld, you just aren't really hearing us (which suggests to me you probably didn't read the whole thread which I would blame you for considering there are over 160 posts at this point).

 

NO one is saying it must be done ONE way. They are saying that there is a range that IS homeschooling. It is a VERY VERY broad range that covers everything from unschooling to hothousing, relaxed to school at home, child-led to curriculum in a box.

 

MOST of the people on this board are not interested in more regulation. And MOST agree with the breadth of homeschooling options. But do-nothingness is a threat against homeschooling. Imposters undermine homeschooling for the rest of us, can cause overexuberance in regulating it, etc. NO ONE wants that. It's not best for homeschoolers to end up with a situation like your "church ladies" illustration; but when we don't recognize our own bad apples, that is MORE likely to happen! Digging our heads into the sand regarding the neglect some children are faced with is not helpful to our cause and very well could hurt us.

 

Seriously, I'm just thinking that I value homeschool options. I appreciate that there are a lot of ways to homeschool. I agree a family should be able to choose (and change) within a wide range of method choices. But if *I* see mostly "do-nothingness," how much more so does the person who not only doesn't want children to be completely neglected, but also doesn't agree with various choices such as 3R's, unschooling, or homeschooling AT ALL?

 

(note: I will concede that what I have seen the last 5+ years is NOT typical of the homeschooling community. I am not sure why it became normal in one location; but I am trying not to believe that the majority of homeschoolers are neglecting their children's educations, almost completely. Since I had seen communities doing a good job regardless of method and some states wouldn't even allow what I have seen, I'm assuming that more homeschoolers educate their children rather than are imposters.)

[jld]

 

There were ENORMOUS battles fought to make homeschooling legal in all 50 states. A big part of those battles was winning support from legislators (and, by default, the greater public) and getting them to believe that parents were capable of instructing their children and, thereby, that parents deserved freedom from regulation by the state.

 

Well, this isn't the way the homeschooling history of my state has been explained by our state homeschooling organization. The homeschooling leaders point out that our right to homeschool comes from our parental rights, which come from the U.S. constitution. They don't mention legislators deciding who "deserves" to homeschool. From what I am reading, it is our right as parents.

 

As I read the history of homeschooling in my state, I have been struck again and again by the emphasis my state organization has put on having homeschoolers stick together, regardless of each family's approach to homeschooling. Several times the document has stressed that only through banding together were homeschoolers able to get a reasonable homeschooling law written, a law that "allows each family to choose an education for their children consistent with their principles and beliefs". The org has warned homeschoolers not to argue among themselves about who is doing it "right" and who isn't. It certainly seems a way to ruin a movement is from within -- from judgment.

 

Pamela, you are right that I had not read every post in the thread. After only reading 2 or 3, I was moved to warn about judging others. After reading more of the posts, I can say I am absolutely shocked, shocked!, at the amount of judgment among homeschoolers. I have not lived in the U.S. much in the last several years, but I don't ever remember homeschoolers in the groups I belonged to talking about other people the way I have read here. Among the moms I knew, people did what they thought best with their kids and left others alone. Or if they were busy judging, they weren't telling me about it.

 

My goodness! Do people really think they know just how other people should live? Really? Live and let live, I say. If a child is being physically or sexually abused, if they don't have enough to eat, if a 5 year old is left home alone for 12 hours at a time, then I understand that a call to Social Services is in order. Parents will likely be questioned about possible abuse or neglect, and perhaps prosecuted under state laws in those areas.

 

But educational neglect? I haven't ever heard anyone in my state mention this. Actually, this whole thread is making me consider calling state leaders and asking about this issue, and finding out if the judgment among homeschoolers in my state is this strong. I need to become better versed in the history of homeschooling in my state, as it may be different from other states. We have very progressive leaders, so they may have chosen different strategies than leaders in other states. I also need to study why our leaders say our right to homeschool is not subject to the whims of legislators, but comes from the Constitution.

 

Ladies, I have such respect for so many of you. Many women here are so very intelligent. I do not understand getting trapped in judgment. It must have something to do with fear, as a poster mentioned. Understanding the legal foundations for homeschooling will surely help me feel more grounded in my own right to homeschool, as well as solidifying my respect for the right of my neighbor to do the same, in, once again, a way consistent with his or her family's principles and beliefs.

[Zann]

I have heard of this. My oldest son (who lives with his mother) has a friend down the street who is homeschooled. All he does all day is play video games. He is 13 and cant read among other things.