"Where" and "How" do you do with your toddlers/preschoolers?

[Jenny in GA]

I was just reading another one of those "What do you do with your toddlers" articles.

 

Maybe there's something wrong with me, but I'm still struggling with this (my kids are 6, 8, and 3 and a half) and I realized what's missing for me in those articles: They tell you what the three year old can do, but they don't tell you how to go about it.

 

For example, this particular article listed many things we have and that my three year old likes: Play-Do, Mr. Potato Head, stickers, toy cars, etc. Well okay, I don't really need an article to tell me that.

 

But ... how does that work? Ideally, I would like to work with my older two kids for a least two full hours. No matter what great toys or activities I give my three year old, he would not be happy or content playing with them alone for over two hours!

 

Another problem is: How do they do these things when the older kids are trying to do schoolwork? For example, I've tried in the past for my three year old to do Play-Do while I'm doing schoolwork with the older two. It was just a disaster -- totally distracting to the older two, and made our work table completely chaotic.

 

But if I send him out of the room, I can't keep an eye on him, which doesn't seem like a good idea either.

 

If I set him on the floor nearby with toys, he's very noisy and wants to climb in my lap and talk to me and get into what we're doing, and that hasn't worked very well either.

 

So ... what do you do? Why do I seem to be the only one who struggles with this?

 

What, and where, how, and for how long -- specifically -- do your two and three and four year olds do when you've with the older kids???

 

Thanks!!!

Jenny

http://beanmommyandthethreebeans.blogspot.com/

[kwg]

I was really hoping that 3 would be easier. 2 has been hard! No such luck I guess? :tongue_smilie:

[JoyfulMama]

I have never tried to do things in big chunks of time. I know my kids at a younger age can spend x minutes doing a puzzle, or coloring, or building, or whatever. I don't expect my youngers to be completely independent, and I expect interruptions, and a kid on my lap, and potty breaks. I like that I can sit on the couch with an older child, and have the youngers on the floor with something. We do many things on the floor - if my youngest wants to participate she can... there's lots of books nearby for her to choose from to do something else. There are some toys nearby as well. One of the things I like about homeschooling is my flexibility to change rooms. Changing rooms changes the available toys - something new in each area, with little effort. I also have many toys grouped into baskets. Easy for everyone to get out/put away. My patience with the youngers emulates a preferred response between siblings, too. Does my "school time" take longer because we have breaks and interruptions? Certainly. So I'm glad we don't have to start at 9am and be done by noon. I do take advantage of quiet time in the afternoons to dedicate an uninterrupted 30-45 minutes to someone specific.

Oh - and storytime at the library? My two youngers sit together and listen to the stories, and I do something with my oldest in the back of the room. When the stories are over (15 mins) I move onto assisting my youngers with whatever craft activity is planned. Then I let my eldest browse the stacks until it's time to go.

Do I feel :willy_nilly:? Not really. But I've only ever homeschooled with a little one or two. Now my youngest is 3... my oldest is 9. I figure it will get more difficult later.

[melissel]

Three is a tough age. My second is now 4.5 and he is only now getting to the point where he is very used to school time. That is, he knows that when I'm doing school stuff with his brother he needs to entertain himself. More and more I am trying to include him when possible. When we do read alouds he sometimes listens. He can do coloring pages, a few workbook type pages, or play with math manimpulatives. It's not easy. I feel like a three ring circus on some days.

 

And if I am being totally honest I have in the past relied on computer games, TV, etc to get us through. I try to find educational DVDs and CDs. I know many people frown upon it, but it works. I don't notice it has caused any problems. As I said, he is now quite good at entertaining himself.

 

So true. And Jenny, you're right about those articles. I think there's an amalgam of solutions, and you just kind of put in place what works for you.

 

The most obvious solution is to work while your little one naps (if he still does). One thing that has always given me a good bit of time is a bath--you can load your little guy up with bath toys and sit just outside the open door with an older kid, working on a lesson. Heck, my DD4 will sit in a bath for an hour with toys if I'd let her!

 

You can probably give your olders some independent things to do (spelling or grammar pages or worksheets, or whatever) and alternate working with them actively while your small guy plays for 20 minutes, then 20 minutes with him while they do something independently, the snack and break time for all, then set him up with something else for 20 minutes while you work with them, then independent work, and so on.

 

You could get them up an hour earlier than he gets up, maybe, and sneak in some work, or do readalouds while you sit and eat breakfast or lunch. Or you could make up file folder games or Montessori-tray-type sets that are individually packed (Ziploc bags? Shoeboxes? Click the link and scroll down) and that only come out during school time. If you make up a bunch and rotate them, they should stay novel enough to hold his attention. And yes, there's always the computer games and educational (or not so educational) videos (though they don't work at my house because my oldest goes a little nuts knowing she's missing out on something fun :glare:).

 

There's always quiet time too. If your guy doesn't nap anymore, this would be a good time to get him used to spending some quiet time in his room (or your room, or another safe space). You can start with 10 minutes and work up to a half hour or longer, whatever will work for everyone.

 

But yeah, in the end, you end up having to keep a lot of plates in the air. It's not easy, but the good thing is that your olders are still young enough that they don't have an overwhelming amount of school time just yet.

 

Hope this helps!

[nd293]

I wonder the exact same things, Jenny! At times I spend longer setting up an activity than ds-almost-3 spends doing it. Then there's the clean-up time... Dd is 9, Gr 4, and we are really ramping up the homeschooling, which has led to a lot more teacher-intensive resources - things that need discussion and reading. I'm in a state of panic - when am I supposed to do this all with her? A discussion in 10 minute bites is not particularly coherent or enlightening, I find. I mean, if you're the Mom of a toddler, when did you last have a coherent conversation :-)

[Amy in KS]

I do much of my read alouds during breakfast, snack time, and lunch...

 

I have a schedule where I assign an older child to be "teaching/working with the toddler" (how to make snakes with play doh, spooning or pouring rice, etc) while I am teaching the other older child (and then I reverse it). This usually works very well as the older sibling LOVES teaching and playing with the younger child and the younger child LOVES the attention.

 

I switched to a math and language program which my child can do mostly independently (CLE).

 

I provide an extra worksheet (whatever the type) for the toddler sometimes with colors and scissors (my three year old LOVES cutting).

 

I've learned to love books on tape, history songs, etc.

[StartingOver]

Of my 4 older children. Two were ready at 3 to learn, both of them reading and doing math at their request. One is still to young. For her we use Slow and Steady get me Ready. Which has tons of ideas from birth to 5. And tons of reading.

[MamaBearTeacher]

I have a 3.5 year old too and it's hard. I recently found something that has helped a bit. I read 3 of his books to him and my older kids. Then I put those books on a chair across the room. He goes to "read" them to himself while I read a chapter or so to my other kids. When he is done we have a break together - bathroom, water, snack, lunch or a short activity, then we go through the whole routine again with another three books.

 

Also, I used to have a variety of toys on the shelf for him but he just wasn't playing with them for long periods. He never played with the stuffed animals. One day I took all the toys away and replaced them with stuffed animals. This was counterintuitive but it worked miracles and now he spends a couple of hours every day playing with the stuffed animals and talking to them. On more challenging days I put a toy tent in the room and he puts all the animals in there and hides out there with them. I am a bit nervous because DH was off over the holidays and we went out more and did not really homeschool at all and I just hope my "tricks" still work for homeschooling this week.

[TracyP]

A lifesaver for me is to have a completely childproof room. Baby naps at 8 am so 2 yo and 4 yo go into room to play together for 30-40 min. They can choose legos, play food, etc. This time is for working 1 on 1 with dd. We do math and phonics or copywork. Then she goes into room to play or read with 2 yo while I work on reading with 4 yo. We are all together after that for read alouds. Then I play with little ones while dd works independently. If more time is needed I put 2 yo and 4 yo at table with puzzles or colors.

 

Your situation sounds a little different but this is how it looks for me. Maybe your olders could take turns "baby-sitting" to give you a little 1 on 1 time with the other and try to do the rest with both during naptime / quiet time.

[jenL]

I have a 2.5 year old who will be 3 in March. I've found breaking the teaching up for short chunks works well with my youngest. He is often in the room with us: coloring, doing puzzles, working with blocks, or looking at books. It has taken us a while to get to the point where he can sit still for 20-30 minutes, and it took me having to constantly monitor him and build up to the time we're at now. Once I do a lesson with my oldest, I move him to an independent assignment (usually math, copywork, phonics) while I play with my youngest. Then I switch back to the oldest for a bit. I continue to cycle this way through the morning. We all have a break and a snack together; lunch is also together.

 

Some days my youngest naps, but that has been waning of late, so we're working on keeping him in his room for longer and longer times to teach him that everyone takes quiet time in the afternoon. If I was unable to complete something with my oldest during the morning, I use the quiet time to get it done.

 

It was extremely difficult when I first began homeschooling last year, but I've found that following a set routine works very well for both kids. My youngest seems to have figured out the flow of the day, and he's starting to understand that I can't always be with him.

 

Granted there are days (and weeks) when everything I've just explained is nonexistent, and that's when I feel as if I'm losing my mind.

[extendedforecast]

This thread is helpful. Thanks OP for asking this question. I have a 14 month old, so a lot of the ideas posted so far do not pertain to my DS. Does anyone have suggestions for the toddler stage? I am putting the preschool age ideas for later when he's older.

 

Cindy

[StartingOver]

This thread is helpful. Thanks OP for asking this question. I have a 14 month old, so a lot of the ideas posted so far do not pertain to my DS. Does anyone have suggestions for the toddler stage? I am putting the preschool age ideas for later when he's older.

 

Cindy

 

I have an 21 month old she has been sitting in with us since April when we started P 4/5 with her brother. She loves many of the ideas in Slow and Steady get me Ready. She also loves 90% of the stories in Sonlight P 3/4. She really loves mega blocks, stringing beads, and lacing shapes ( we have tons of Melissa and Doug toys, that are only used during "school" ).

She has the Leap Frog Tag Jr, and just loves that she can read on her own. Leap Frog Fridge Magnets and is learning her letters. She also loves the Saxon math manipulatives. It leaves me free to read with my son too !

[Suzanne in ABQ]

 

What, and where, how, and for how long -- specifically -- do your two and three and four year olds do when you've with the older kids???

 

 

 

 

This may not be a popular answer, and probably not the answer you're looking for, but it was THE answer for me. I put my 3yodd in preschool two mornings a week. Now that she's 4, she's in three mornings a week. Next year, I'll most likely bring her home.

 

My older kids have never stepped foot in a school, except to visit, but this child is different, and our situation is different. She simply needs interaction every hour of the day. Preschool gives her structured playtime, social interaction, the realization that she is not the center of the universe (she must wait her turn, do as she's asked, play well with others). She still does most of her learning at home, but she is learning some stuff there. She can count to 100 (I didn't teach her that!) She also gets to do arts and crafts every day. I used to do that with my olders (when they were little) but don't seem to make the time with my current preschooler. Preschool is just the answer for her. She loves it!

 

Meanwhile, while she's getting all this attention at school, we have a few hours when we (my 8th and 6th graders) can get some uninterrupted lesson time.

 

Some may worry that she'll never want to come home. But, she's actually looking forward to homeschooling. She loves when I sit and do our reading and math lessons together. She already recognizes that preschool is for playing, but that we "do school" at home. :)

[GaHadley]

i always start with a Bible story and my 3 y.o. sits in for that. I try to have a coloring page to go with it handy so she can color it if she's still interested in sitting at the school table.

 

after she's tired of sitting with us (sometimes she colors, sometimes not) She's free to play with a variety of toys in the school room, watch a show on PBS, or play a game on the computer. After half an hour or so, older dd is mostly doing independent stuff and I'm more available to younger dd. I do have some simple file folder games and other educational type things that I keep in the school closet for when younger dd wants to do school.

 

I would suggest doing 15-30 minute sessions (may be work up to 30 minutes) where you give him an activity from all the suggestions that you have, and make him sit and entertain himself - give him the options (you may sit here at this table and do this activity or you may read books) - at the end of the time (set a timer) give him a sticker. . . spend a few minutes with him, read a book or something. then give him another activity - watch tv or play with blocks (might be a good time for a portable dvd player and headphones), set the timer and do it again. . . if he earns a sticker for each segment of time, let him visit the treasure box, pick a special snack, or something along those lines. Praise him for being such a big boy and helping by letting mommy get school done with the others. . .

 

some other activity ideas:

matchbox cars and a cookie sheet of shaving cream

mix shaving cream with food coloring and let him paint the bathtub

rice box w/ kitchen utensils

colored pasta to string, sort, or make art

 

 

HTH

[8circles]

This has been a helpful thread. Keep the examples of what works for you coming. I've got a 6, 4, & 2 at the moment & we're struggling a bit. I'm worried for next year with a new little one coming in July & technically doing "school" for 2 instead of only 1.

[Narrow Gate Academy]

I was just reading another one of those "What do you do with your toddlers" articles.

 

Maybe there's something wrong with me, but I'm still struggling with this (my kids are 6, 8, and 3 and a half) and I realized what's missing for me in those articles: They tell you what the three year old can do, but they don't tell you how to go about it.

 

For example, this particular article listed many things we have and that my three year old likes: Play-Do, Mr. Potato Head, stickers, toy cars, etc. Well okay, I don't really need an article to tell me that.

 

But ... how does that work? Ideally, I would like to work with my older two kids for a least two full hours. No matter what great toys or activities I give my three year old, he would not be happy or content playing with them alone for over two hours!

 

Another problem is: How do they do these things when the older kids are trying to do schoolwork? For example, I've tried in the past for my three year old to do Play-Do while I'm doing schoolwork with the older two. It was just a disaster -- totally distracting to the older two, and made our work table completely chaotic.

 

But if I send him out of the room, I can't keep an eye on him, which doesn't seem like a good idea either.

 

If I set him on the floor nearby with toys, he's very noisy and wants to climb in my lap and talk to me and get into what we're doing, and that hasn't worked very well either.

 

So ... what do you do? Why do I seem to be the only one who struggles with this?

 

What, and where, how, and for how long -- specifically -- do your two and three and four year olds do when you've with the older kids???

 

Thanks!!!

Jenny

http://beanmommyandthethreebeans.blogspot.com/

 

A few ideas...

 

-have each of your older kids take a turn playing with the 3 year old while you work one on one with the other (1 hour total)

-watch a video (30 minutes)

-make a list of activities the 3 year old can play alone (aim for 30 minutes, some days you might need 2 activities)

1. lay out tape on the kitchen floor for roads to drive cars on

2. play in the bathtub

3. rice in a tub makes a good indoor sandbox - hide things in it, play with funnels, etc.

4. Kumon books

5. legos

6. books on tape

 

Here's the schedule we used when my older DS was 3. Basically center time was my list of activities. I used the ideas above and had some toys up on a shelf that only came down during this time on different days.

 

HTH