MomOfOneFunOne Posted November 5, 2009 Share Posted November 5, 2009 Logical Consequences: I get it. really. But sometims they just aren't obvious to me. The easy ones stand out: She wouldn't put something away so I took it away from her. She lied about having her school work done in order to see a movie. She got grounded from movies for a month. Why it didn't occur to her that WE HOMESCHOOL and I'd find out the next morning is another matter . . . not quite ready for the logic stage, I guess. Those are the easy ones. But then there are the ones I just don't see logical consequences for. For example, my daughter has a habit of showing up for class unprepared. I've told her time and again that "set up for class" means to set up the coputer at the desk, get all necessary books, notebooks, pencils (I require 2, just in case), and have it ready by 5 minutes till class time. Repeatedly I'll tell her to get set up for class, she'll say she okay but then when class starts there isnt' a pencil or book to be seen. When I get on her about this, she just says she forgot or got sidetracked. Okay, I understand that and yet, it still has to be done. In another setting, not getting to start with everyone else and sitting out while everyone else is participating would work -- gymnastics, meeting friends at the park, movie night, et c. I'm just not willing to do that for Latin or Math, though. She loves both classes and is highly motivated to do well in both. She just wont' get it together. What in the world consequences would constitute "logical consequences" in this case? Personally, I feel that when I can see what they are and implement them immediately, they work. Ergo, I really want to see a logical consequence and be able to implement it and get this irritating little habit nipped. Ideas? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravin Posted November 5, 2009 Share Posted November 5, 2009 For my DD, the main logical consequence for keeping her on track with school work is manipulating TV privileges. She gets to watch TV while I nap in the afternoon, after she finishes her homework and chores (usually handwriting or math worksheet and putting away dishes or picking up a mess she made). I have to go to bed by a certain hour to get enough sleep to function at work, so she only has so long in which to get her lessons done. If she fools around and doesn't finish by my bedtime, she doesn't get TV. If she chooses not to do her homework or chores, she doesn't get TV. If she cheats and watches TV before homework or chores are done, or when she's been told not to because she didn't finish lessons we needed to do together because of her own lollygagging, she doesn't get TV in the evening at bedtime, either (she's been accustomed for some time to falling asleep in front of the TV...these consequences are helping wean her from that habit). Not finishing lessons in a timely fashion also keeps her from having time to play out front, which she prefers to playing in the backyard, because she's not allowed to play out front while I'm sleeping, and means I don't have time to read fun read alouds to her or play a game with her before I go to bed. We've mostly been getting school done lately. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Bear Posted November 5, 2009 Share Posted November 5, 2009 Tomato-staking comes to mind. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gratefulmother Posted November 5, 2009 Share Posted November 5, 2009 How old is your daughter? If I was expecting those things from my daughter who is 8, I would make a written list of what she needs and ask her to refer to it to keep from getting sidetracked. I would also be reminding her once when she needs to get started, but after that leave it up to her. Then, we have a list of 10 rewards that range from having a friend over (big deal) to getting to work with a stuffed animal sitting with you (not so big of a deal). As we go throughout the week as we have problems they move down the chart of rewards. So, for instance, if she wasn't prepared she would move once down the chart. If it happened the next day, she would move down again and so on. Do you think something like that would work? These are skills that kids have to learn, and I don't have a problem tying learning to be responsible to a tangible reward. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConnieB Posted November 5, 2009 Share Posted November 5, 2009 How about first setting her up for success. She says that she forgets the things that she's supposed to have ready.....even though it sounds like it is the same items each day. So....make a simple list to tape to the computer, desk, wall, whereever it would always be available and easily seen. Perhaps it's not a responsiblity issue so much as remembering all the things she's going to need. Having a list would mean that she could go down it like a checklist. If she still fails then at least you'll know that it IS a lack of responsibility/follow through on her part and not an honest forgetfulness. I realize that you'd prefer that she remember all these things, but I have always been forgetful without my lists and reminders. Most of us have chore charts for our children, so they remember to do them. This is an extension of that....in fact, for my children the chore chart consists of index cards with not just the chore but the step by step requirements to complete the job. Otherwise, telling them to clean the bathroom means a few things are done but not everything....the list includes things like putting away the cleanser, and taking the cleaning rag to the washer, putting up clean towels to replace the ones they took down, etc. There is then no excuse for not doing the job right....if you can read then everything on the list should be done. Period. No excuses. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gratefulmother Posted November 5, 2009 Share Posted November 5, 2009 I just thought, that may not be enough of a logical consequence if you were looking for logical consequences. I guess I was just thinking of what I would do in that situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted November 5, 2009 Share Posted November 5, 2009 ...you might want to consider moving that backwards in time. For instance, "I notice that you're not ready when I am ready to start your math. From now on you must lay your math out right after breakfast. I will check you, and if you don't do it you will owe me some chore time to make up for the time I spent waiting for you. 'Ready' means you have the math book open to the right page, your prior homework right there, two sharpened pencils, and no less than 5 pieces of scratch paper out neatly on the table." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matrips Posted November 6, 2009 Share Posted November 6, 2009 I would think she would need to get up much earlier in the morning so that she would have plenty of time to have everything ready. She should make a checklist that she can check off each morning so she ensures that she does have everything. and since she has to get up so much earlier, she would need to go to bed earlier so she can still get the same amount of sleep. or you'd be happy to trade one of your chores- she can make breakfast for everyone and clean up, and you will put her bookbag together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardening momma Posted November 6, 2009 Share Posted November 6, 2009 How old is your daughter? If I was expecting those things from my daughter who is 8, I would make a written list of what she needs and ask her to refer to it to keep from getting sidetracked. :iagree: I was going to ask how old she is, and mention that maybe you could try a checklist for her--so she can physically check off each item as she brings it to the table/desk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.