How Do You Know When Children Are Gifted?

[skaterbabs]

My husband's family (both father's and mother's) is gifted in the genius range for at least three generations back. He and I were both identified gifted in school; we don't know the exact number, but we do know his IQ is "almost genius". Several of his four brothers are also gifted. He was never challenged in school that I can see and (I think) as a result will not (can not?) move out of his comfort zone or challenge himself in areas of weakness. (Like telling time. Or remembering his kids' birthdays. Or being organized.)

I've never been IQ tested (that I'm aware of) but I suspect my IQ is probably just on the high side of average. I was the kid who tested well and was the "teacher's pet". By the time school actually challenged me, I didn't have a clue how to learn something that didn't come naturally.

 

We suspect all three of our kids are gifted.

 

Yacko was a happy baby as long as he had a full belly. Nothing fazed him. He walked three days before his first birthday and was speaking 3-5 word sentences routinely by 11 months. ("Mama, want more juice now." "Mama, where Daddy go?") At 18 months he knew his entire alphabet by sight and ASL sign and could count to 30 by age 2, but had no interest in learning to read or in shapes & colors. He was also using the broom handle to pop the chain on the front door, reprogramming the VCR remote, and defeating every fridge lock we could find. He was a terror at that age, and seemed to get worse every year until maybe two years ago.

 

Wacko was an average baby. Not really much for being held, he loved to play with matchbox cars in his crib. At four months he would lay there making engine sounds and pushing the cars back and forth. By two he could name five or ten common makes of automobile. He had a speech delay and preferred digging in the dirt to playing with other kids. He learned to read at four after two years of speech therapy. He's been formally identified as "twice exceptional" by our local school system. He was an angel as a preschooler. At 11 he's a terror. :p

 

Dot... well, if any of them could potentially be called profoundly gifted, I'd say it would be her. She didn't walk or talk early, but she rolled over the day she was born because the nurses made her mad (suctioning her lungs.) By her first Thanksgiving (5 weeks old) she rolled over EVERY.SINGLE.TIME she got mad.... and that was often. The child screamed almost nonstop until she could sit upright unassisted (5 months) and even then she was over a year old before her youngest uncle could hold her and 18 months before I could leave her with her daddy to run a quick errand without her screaming. The September before her second birthday she realized her brothers left every day to go to this mysterious place called "school" and she had full-blown fits every September from then until we started HSing Yacko because she couldn't go too. If we didn't get up and go somewhere almost every day she was a terror. The first year we HSed was awful because we were rather confined since Yacko was too young to be left home alone for long stretches and too old to go to playgroup, etc. The spring before her 4th birthday we realized she could read most CVC words. By her 4th birthday she was reading the emergency exit signs, and discussing traffic laws. (Red means stop, yellow means stop, green means go. That sign means no u-turn.) She started asking for violin lessons and speaking in every bit of French and Spanish she could absorb from watching cartoons with the alternate sound tracks playing. She knew her birthdate, could tell time to the hour on an analog clock, could identify the four common coins, and knew her addition & subtraction facts to ten. She recently informed me that my father is a "man-widow" because my mother is dead, that my grandfather is "extinct" and that her paternal grandmother is an orphan because HER parents are dead. Is she truly gifted? Maybe. Or she could just be smarter than the average bear and highly competitive with significantly older siblings. (Anything you can do, I can do better!)

 

She frequently amazes and astounds people with her abilities, and her academic achievment is often attributed to her being homeschooled. In her case the opposite is true - she's not accelerated because she's homeschooled, she's homeschooled because she's accelerated. Chronologically she's a kindergartener because she missed the K cutoff last year by 17 days. While she would undoubtedly have fun in K this year, academically they could not possibly meet her needs. She reads on a third grade level and is almost half finished with her first grade math, most of which is not new to her (CLE 104).

 

I'm quite thankful for HSing because her personality is very much like mine and I can totally see her getting to high school and not having a clue how to handle being challenged.

[Cera]

I haven't read all the replies but here is my take on it...

 

We just kind of knew our oldest would be considered gifted. She is EXACTLY like me and our interactions have been challenging at times since we both tend to push and expect to get our way. I do not have good memories of my early education (even with the CTY summer programs and enrichment opportunities) and as part of agreeing to homeschool (at least for now) we had some initial testing done.

 

Our second was very different from the first personality wise but hit all early milestones (up to talking) at exactly the same chronological age as her sister. She did not talk as early but would communicate through gestures and her own words to her sister for translation. We actually thought she might wind up a bit behind until we had her evaluated for speech articulation at 2 1/2. I stepped out of the room and she yelled to me "Will you please tie my laces?" I couldn't understand since I didn't have any visual cues so after repeating herself once she simply rephrased it to "Will you please fix my shoe?" so that I would understand and come help her. The evaluators were a bit floored and let us know that we might be judging her abilities a bit quickly because she wasn't following her sister's curve. We have no plans to test her now, and I don't believe she would test as highly as her sister, but I am sure she would test quite high thanks in part to genetics.

[Impish]

I see this as just one more opinion. In practice, though, (and you can see how this is true in many parents' experiences on the accelerated learner forum) many parents do NOT recognize that their child is gifted. My own dh, despite testing that "proves it" still has trouble accepting that his two oldest are gifted.

 

Most gifted children come by it honestly: genetically. Most of their parents are gifted. Most spouses also choose to marry other gifted people. Therefore, it is typical that many in their extended families (grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins...) are also gifted. Their children often seem quite "normal," as they "fit right in" in their families.

 

There's also the gifted denial: "I'm sure it's only because I'm his *mother.* I'm sure ALL mothers think their children are unusually bright." This is extremely common. I've seen people post about "coming to terms" with their children's giftedness on numerous forums/boards and heard discussions about it in person.

 

Sometimes, as has been posted here, one wouldn't think a child is gifted at all (maybe they're not academically accelerated at all or have a learning disability that masks the giftedness). Some parents have been completely surprised.

 

And, although most parents would indeed do their best to meet their child's needs, sometimes the "label" really helps in that department. Access to opportunities, support from parents with experiences, etc. (The same reasons parents with special needs kids usually seek a "label.")

 

Lastly, there's an enormous relief that can be felt when you realize you're not crazy. There *is* something different about your child. You're not "imagining it" or "exaggerating b/c you're the mom." Many gifted kids come with overexcitabilities, sensitivities, etc. and it can be quite a relief to know that it is very common in the gifted population and not due to parenting mistakes. The label can help a parent. (It doesn't necessarily make the parent push the child.)

I have no idea if my children are accelerated, gifted, or just plain bright.

 

I am frequently shocked by what they do/say. Diva, a solid 'C' student in school is working grades ahead of where she 'should' be.

 

Tazzie has a vocabulary that never ceases to amaze. His problem solving skills are something else...he figured out at 6 months old that he couldn't get the locks off the entertainment unit...so he spent 15 minutes unscrewing the knobs off the doors, causing the locks to fall off.

 

Princess...well...she makes Tazzie look like the 'brawn' of the family.

 

I was supposedly bright in school...and frustrated my male 7th grade teacher to tears. I would read a book under my desk, yet when called on, could always give the right answer.

 

I was forced into an IQ test recently. Apparently, I'm in the top 4% of people my age. The testers suspect its higher than that, if I hadn't been distracted by pain.

 

My high IQ has done nothing for me of benefit. Hard work is what I drill into my kids. Nobody's going to give you squat just because you're bright. Better to do the hard work and show you're capable than expect gifts because you're smart.

 

Its highly likely that my kids are gifted. It doesn't matter at all to me. My challenge is simply to engage them where they're at, and go from there. Diva and math are a prime example. She blasts through concepts scary fast, so we move on instead of boring her to tears through repeating the exercise by doing all the questions.

 

Nobody's going to give a scholarship or job based solely on IQ. They're going to give it to the person whose proven they can do the work. Period.

 

'Gifted' may be a bragging right, but means nothing in the real world. If it did, I'd be rich :lol:

 

All it means to me is staying one step ahead of where the kids are.

[lionfamily1999]

Impish, I've noticed that BOTH of my ds have taken off since I started hsing the older. I wonder how much of the littles acceleration is the result of having a more education minded mother. This may not be the case with you, but I KNOW that Luke is getting much more educational attention than either of my olders did, but of course, I'm planning on hsing him (so I want to make sure he's ahead and gives me a bit of a cushion, iykwIm).

 

Older ds has suddenly bumped ahead in Math (on accident, really!) and I won't know if he's technically "gifted" until after his SCATS this coming spring. I do know that compared with his peers at ps he's very advanced, but a big part of that is just that we hs.

 

I guess, I just mean to say, that I wonder how much the giftedness is directly related to hsing, vs IQ. Does that come up much? Your child is not gifted, but they are very advanced?

[Impish]

I honestly have no idea.

 

I do know that the Littles are scary in terms of their physical coordination and balance. They do things that have my heart in my throat.

 

I didn't start hsing until Princess was a baby, and even then it wasn't a planned out thing, but out of desperation.

 

It honestly doesn't matter to me one way or the other. All that matters is that I meet them wherever they're at, and provide them with the best education AND work ethic I can.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I 100% agree with Impish on the work ethic issue. I never learned how to study because I was able to skate through school for both high school and college. It wasn't until I was in grad school/seminary that I was brought up short by Greek. My dh was my study buddy and he knew how to study hard because while he's smart, he's had to work for his education. That was the first time I was really challenged. I can say that was the first A that I really earned. And boy, did I feel good about it!

 

One of the neat things about homeschooling is that I really can teach my dc at their level. One of the reasons we study Latin is because ds12 needed something to really challenge him. It's also the reason that we use books at whatever grade level works them at a true instructional level. He used to have multiple daily tantrums any time something was challenging. It was part of the whole perfectionism thing but it was also a false expectation that everything should just fall into his brain. I'm so glad that he's learning to really study. And I can see that true satisfaction of having really accomplished something starting to grow in him.