MistyJ Posted September 30, 2009 Share Posted September 30, 2009 Please finish sentence. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faithr Posted September 30, 2009 Share Posted September 30, 2009 making learning fun, keeping lessons short and teaching to his strengths? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faithr Posted September 30, 2009 Share Posted September 30, 2009 Wait! Oh dear! I read it too quickly and thought it said 7 yo. Dear me! Well, instead trying to make things fun and games (though that certainly doesn't hurt!) I try to study alongside my jr. high/high school kids engaging them in lots of discussion. I use lots of humor. I do still try to teach to their strengths. I also try to let them have a lot of say in what/how we study I also keep in mind that their bodies are going through or about to go through tremendous changes so I give them the benefit of the doubt, try to be sympathetic and loving even when they are annoying me. I also try to make sure they get plenty of sleep, good food and exercise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lisabees Posted September 30, 2009 Share Posted September 30, 2009 I love you for asking this question!! My 7th grader is just that in the last few months - sluggish, with no curiosity or drive whatsoever! ;) Looking forward to some great answers! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catherine Posted September 30, 2009 Share Posted September 30, 2009 I still don't have the answers. I do try very hard to be sympathetic to his needs, gently remind him to keep at it when he is dawdling. It is much easier this time around to know "this too shall pass" and not be hard on him. I also try to protect his time so that he can still play and spend time with friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy in TN Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 Please finish sentence. I have two big boys and one little guy. When they hit this phase, the best comparison I ever read compared them to boulders that you must drag through mud. LOL Some of it truly is hormonal. Make sure he is getting enough sleep. He may need to sleep far more than 8 hours especially during a growth spurt. And there really is a teenage boy mind fog. He isn't making you crazy intentionally. Honestly, if he is doing everything in your signature even in a fashion that you would consider less than wonderful, he is excellent. HTH- Mandy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 Telling him he isn't going to hockey unless he does quality work. My once 7th grader is now in 9th grader at a boys prep school. He works hard now because he wants good grades. :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leanna Tomlinson Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 ...taking away basketball (or at least threatening not to take him to practice) ....allowing him to sleep later in the morning because he's growing so fast. ....making sure we have good meals and good snacks. ....realizing that even though he is big, he still needs hugs and snuggling. ....creating a time oriented schedule rather than a task oriented schedule that doesn't say, "I'm finished" for the day. ....building breaks into his schedule for physical activity. ....allowing him to do some physical labor for pay. ....making him redo all sub-standard work. ....realizing that writing is very hard for him and he may need to have a discussion with me to get his mental juices flowing. ....having his father call him at lunch and talk about how he spent his morning. ....raising the bar rather than lowering it. ....taking him on a college visit. (this happened b/c of his older sister, but it was a huge wake-up for him!) ....loving the little boy in him while you can, because he's being replaced by a man. My first 7th grade boy is now a 6'4" 10th grader. He is finally coming out of that junior high "boy fog". Now my second son turns 12 next week... Blessings, Leanna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MistyJ Posted October 1, 2009 Author Share Posted October 1, 2009 When they hit this phase, the best comparison I ever read compared them to boulders that you must drag through mud. Mandy :lol: Thank you! This is EXACTLY what it's like. Yes, he must be growing. Always an early riser (5:30/6:00) he is now sleeping past 8 a.m. He's 13, 5'9", "well-nourished" ;). We aren't doing sports...not a family focus, and the current budget does not allow. Should I try and get him into something? And Leanne...re-doing substandard work....he HATES this, HATES me when i make him do it and I start to feel like an ogre. But he needs to submit his best effort, right? He earned an "F" on a Saxon 8/7 math test this week. I lectured him, expressed dismay, and stuck him in the kitchen and made him re-do it: "B". I asked him, "We're you studying your heart out the last 12 hours?" (Surely not.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homeschoolally Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 grader I've found that teaming up with older, responsible homeschoolers has been inspiring for him. We pushed ahead to a higher math level so he attends class with older kids. He has really risen to the challenge. We've found martial arts to be a great source of discipline--it constantly pushes him to be his personal best--the more days he attends per week the better motivation all around. FWIW, my son is naturally sluggish and we have continually work on this. Exercise has really helped. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dhudson Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 ... if he does his work well he gets to go to Starbucks with Mom to do Logic verbally once a week. ... computer time! ... No home work! If my ds isn't done at a certain time, Mom is done being the teacher and he has to keep working and then deal with Dad.;) ...getting enough sleep but he can read in bed until 8:45p.m. A Dr. recently told me that I needed to have my 7th grader in bed by 9:00. I see a real difference in attitude when we do. ... perfect scores on math, science, and vocab tests gets extra privileges. A date with Dad, watching a movie etc... ... more time to hang with friends ...freedom to use the computer for writing assignments Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~Tara~ Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 Oh boy...I needed to read these responses too. Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tdeveson Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 And there really is a teenage boy mind fog. He isn't making you crazy intentionally. They actually lose IQ points at this stage. They're in la-la land and all this bookwork is so, but so irrelevant! Don't worry, they get their mojo back. But Mandy is right -- you can't really "motivate" someone who is in a hormonal fog very much. Make sure he gets plenty of sleep. Keep up with the gentle reminders to get on with his work. He'll be back to normal in a couple of years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tdeveson Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 .A Dr. recently told me that I needed to have my 7th grader in bed by 9:00. I see a real difference in attitude when we do. What time to you get up? I'm interesting in knowing how many hours your doctor recommended. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LanaTron Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 Well, really I gave it to all four dc, 'cos I've let them slide into a habit of too much TV/Wii/Computer, and that's about to change. I started with how briliant I think they all are, and how they each have some special God-given gifts, then moved into my vision of their futures. I explained how they could choose to be average, and that mom and dad would love them just the same, but that we want more for them. I explained that (especially with the older two dc) how they choose to spend their time will affect the rest of their lives, and how gaming and TV-watching are average, but I am hoping they will start to choose excellence, with continued guidance and boundaries set by mom and dad. I don't know how much it will help, but it gives me a starting place for when ds (or any of them) are being uncooperative or lazy about their work...I can bring up the "excellence" issue. Anyway, I do feel your pain. Ds is showing some signs of being motivated about his Scout stuff, so that is good. It's just the school work...and chores, too. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cougarmom4 Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 [quote name=Leanna;1233212 ....loving the little boy in him while you can' date=' because he's being replaced by a man. I love this! Thank you for the sweet reminder! I think it will make a difference in my relationship with my ds12 if I keep this in mind... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaSheep Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 They actually lose IQ points at this stage. They're in la-la land and all this bookwork is so, but so irrelevant! Don't worry, they get their mojo back. But Mandy is right -- you can't really "motivate" someone who is in a hormonal fog very much. Make sure he gets plenty of sleep. Keep up with the gentle reminders to get on with his work. He'll be back to normal in a couple of years. A couple of YEARS! Oh heaven help us... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 (edited) Having him work to a timer on all pieces of work Making him sit on a wobble cushion to keep his brain awake Grading all written work so he has a weekly score Making him finish all left-over work at the weekend Making him work standing up or sitting on an exercise ball if he is losing focus Sitting beside him for most of the time - not saying anything, but just being there Making sure he has at least an hour of brisk exercise a day Giving him lots of hugs and making sure he is with me on the journey - trying to avoid his resistance building This year is so much better than the end of last year. Laura Edited October 1, 2009 by Laura Corin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 A Dr. recently told me that I needed to have my 7th grader in bed by 9:00. I see a real difference in attitude when we do. I wake him at 8, so he has about eleven hours in bed. Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peela Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 By shortening his school hours, and giving him work he can do independently so that there is less necessary interaction between him and I ...we have lessened the stress levels, and allowed him to take more control of his own education. The attitude is still there....but every now and then he will tell me about what he is learning in history or whatever and I can tell he was actually engaging rather than just going through the motions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MIch elle Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 My once 7th grader is now in 9th grader at a boys prep school. He works hard now because he wants good grades. :001_huh: What a BIG change in my ds once he WENT to school! He suddenly knew how to work quickly and independently. :lol: He had NO choice. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faithr Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 I would just like to offer a caution about getting punitive at this age when they are in that hormonal fog. I've seen parents alienate and damage their relationship so much because they took their lack of energy/focus as disobedience. They had to send their teens off to high school because there was soooo much friction between parents and child. And a lot of it, in my opinion was generated by the parents' intolerance of normal adolescent behavior. Not that I think you should let your child get away with thing that are morally wrong or anything. Not at all! But in my opinion, at this age, schooling gets more focused on a couple of subjects (math, literature, Latin) and the other stuff can slide a bit with no problem and no loss. You don't want to alienate your child. They need you so much as they grow into adulthood! They need to feel valued and respected. If you let your exasperation and disappointment rule your daily interactions, you may pay terribly when they get older and rebel big time. They do get their mojo back, as some other poster mentioned. There's no need to panic! Patience is a virtue! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caraway Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 ...finding him a mentor. Preferably a man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MIch elle Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 I would just like to offer a caution about getting punitive at this age when they are in that hormonal fog. I've seen parents alienate and damage their relationship so much because they took their lack of energy/focus as disobedience. They had to send their teens off to high school because there was soooo much friction between parents and child. And a lot of it, in my opinion was generated by the parents' intolerance of normal adolescent behavior. Not that I think you should let your child get away with thing that are morally wrong or anything. Not at all! But in my opinion, at this age, schooling gets more focused on a couple of subjects (math, literature, Latin) and the other stuff can slide a bit with no problem and no loss. You don't want to alienate your child. They need you so much as they grow into adulthood! They need to feel valued and respected. If you let your exasperation and disappointment rule your daily interactions, you may pay terribly when they get older and rebel big time. They do get their mojo back, as some other poster mentioned. There's no need to panic! Patience is a virtue! :iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MistyJ Posted October 1, 2009 Author Share Posted October 1, 2009 Do girls go through this? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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