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Where did you find your best friend?


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A mutual friend introduced us at a coffeehouse. She was wearing all black and crying. I thought, "I can make her laugh." I did. She called me two days later. I ignored the phone. Six days later. I ignored the phone. Ten days later. I locked myself in the closet so I could hear her over my four-year-old and one-year-old. It went uphill from there.

 

The key, I think, was that she was persistent. Every time I went introverted on her and tried to ignore her calls, she refused to take it personally and called and called and called. "I'm bipolar," she screeched at me once in a super cheery tone of voice, spitting the words out at rocket speed, "and I'm manic now but I know what it's like to self-isolate! I won't stop calling! Don't worry! Can I come over after work?"

 

Other friends I met at the secular homeschool support group.

 

Then there's this one friend who I know from here, church, LibraryThing and our local homeschool group, but the first place I met her was a used book sale. She was bouncing an unhappy baby in a sling so she could just get through another box of kidlit before needing to nurse, and her husband was standing nearby with his arms out so she could load him up with books, and her two other kids were playing a very imaginative game using excellent vocabulary, quietly, in a corner of the room. I knew right away she was One Of Us.

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The key, I think, was that she was persistent. Every time I went introverted on her and tried to ignore her calls, she refused to take it personally and called and called and called. "I'm bipolar," she screeched at me once in a super cheery tone of voice, spitting the words out at rocket speed, "and I'm manic now but I know what it's like to self-isolate! I won't stop calling! Don't worry! Can I come over after work?"

 

:lol: I'm an extrovert and I have an introvert friend I do this to. She never answers her phone (NEVER! Not for anyone! Not even her mom!) I'm always yelling in her answering machine "I know you're home, I'm planning X, just pick up the phone, it's so much easier than emailing back and forth!!"

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my two best friends AFTER marriage I met at church, but one of them, a kindred spirit from the second we met, I would have met at a homeschool group. The other, a kindred spirit, too, I would not have likely met outside of church.

 

I also have two best friends since before I met dh. They are like family. Both I've known for 25 and 34 years.

 

Dh, by far, is my best friend, biggest supporter, and biggest fan. What can I say? I pity the fool. :D

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:lol: I'm an extrovert and I have an introvert friend I do this to. She never answers her phone (NEVER! Not for anyone! Not even her mom!) I'm always yelling in her answering machine "I know you're home, I'm planning X, just pick up the phone, it's so much easier than emailing back and forth!!"

 

I am the introvert that does this.:tongue_smilie: My family tells me that they don't even know why I own a cell phone. I tell them it is in case I ever need to call someone (you know, in an emergency). I currently have the number 17 blinking on my answering machine at home. That means I have 17 unheard voice mails. I have been meaning to get to that but . . . . I don't even know how many missed calls I have on my cell phone. Everyone important knows to email me or call one of my kids and tell them to tell me something.

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I realize it's easier for me to be vulnerable and communicative over the phone, partly because I have three wee ones, mostly because I'm discovering I have Asperger's!

 

So, even though I met K when we were missionary teachers in Korea, we didn't start going deep until we started talking over the phone (I'm in the East, she's in the West) every two weeks. Now she's in Uganda. I just got Skype and we've set up a monthly time to talk. Quality time is very important to me.

 

I met P through chapel and Bible study on post. Even though both our hubbies were deployed, and we had time to get together, we still talked mostly by phone daily. Therefore, we went deep.

 

I was more her encourager/mentor...she moved last year and we've kept in touch (but not daily). I've found that she's matured so much in her faith that our friendship has become richer, as I can share more of my struggles with her and receive her counsel and prayers. This is not because I willingly chose to keep stuff from her when we were developing our friendship; it's because my stuff never came up in conversation. I think, too, P didn't believe I could have issues! Now she understands that all believers have issues. Woo-hoo! NOW we can talk turkey!

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