Do you have an open door policy at your home for friends and/or relatives

[KingM]

Absolutely I always have a room. What's the fun of owning an inn in Vermont if you can't offer free lodging to family and friends?

 

With the caveat, of course, that you can't be kicking out paying guests, but peak times of the year we're no fun anyway as we're too busy trying to earn a living.

[katilac]

I'm the black sheep of my family b/c we do not have an open door policy, not even with advance notice, lol! And the spare room is a craft room, not a guest room :tongue_smilie:.

 

Seriously, as a family, we are introverted enough that NOT inviting people to 'come and stay a while' is actually better for the relationship. And some of our relatives are best taken in small doses, kwim? When my parents have guests that stay for weeks, my sis offers to have them at her house for a few days. I offer dinner. Once.

 

We do host dh's parents and brother on a pretty regular basis, and we go pretty far to make them welcome (the kids sleep with us so his 'rents can have a room of their own, I cook stuff they can't get at home, we adapt our schedules for group activities, etc).

 

But otherwise? If we don't talk/email/keep in touch some kinda way, I prolly won't invite you. And I may well make up frantic excuses if you invite yourself. I'm a southerner with a sad lack of southern hospitality.

 

Oh, the shame . . .

[Garga]

There aren't enough relatives around here for me to ever had to consider this. I really wish there was family that would drop in. I get so weary of having almost no family.

 

We just went to a funeral in Pittsburg (4 hour drive from home) last week. My husband's cousins invited us to come to their house right after the funeral. My dh hasn't seen them in 15 years, but spent most of his summers with them when he was a kid. I've never had cousins. I've never, ever had an experience where someone that I don't know immediately takes me in because I'm "family." I've never been "family."

 

If I had a family that would drop in, I think I'd love it--unless it's just the grass is greener syndrome. Maybe in reality, I'd hate it. But right now I love the idea of family dropping in.

[eternalknot]

Who may be passing through your town and need a place to stop over night? My family always has so I did not think twice when my cousin, whose a truck driver called and wanted to stop by on his way to another state. My dh was not brought up like this is was suprised that I had welcomed my cousin to stop by for the night.

 

Is this a regional thing, a family thing? just curious what others thoughts were.

 

We have a totally open door policy. I have seven house keys on my keyring - one for my house, one for my husband's house, one for my parents' house, and four to four of my siblings' homes. I have additional housekeys at home that belong to homes of other relatives, but these are the seven that I use on a regular basis.

 

It's nothing for me to come home and find a cousin sitting on my couch, eating my popcorn :D and then later giving the kids a bath so I can tend to other things. It's nothing for me to show up at my brother's with a bottle of wine and the question: "What are you making for dinner? The kids are with their dad."

 

I wouldn't blink at a cousin asking to stop in on his way through town. I'd be hurt to hear that family passed by and did NOT call at all! There is no such thing as "imposition" when it comes to (our) family. And we do make sure people know this before they marry in :tongue_smilie:

[keptwoman]

We live in a different country so it's not really an issue. However when we lived in the same country they would be absolutely welcome to stay with us without any notice. Of course I'd prefer a day or two's notice for an overnight visitor but just to be a bit more organised and as long as they can cope with chaos they are welcome to drop in unannounced. If they were staying longer than a week I'd prefer some notice though.

 

I don't understand why people feel the need to ring before visiting, I love the idea that friends feel comfortable enough to drop in to my house any time. Occasionally friends do which is nice. Mostly though we get warning because we are a long way from most friends in this country too.

[Peela]

Its kind of a big deal when people want to stay here. DH's family just arent close- his dad has alzheimer's and now and then we take him for a couple of days to give his wife respite. Its not easy though- he is an alcoholic and we dont allow alcohol in the house. He sits and reads the same newspaper and does the crossword puzzles ALL DAY until he feels its ok to walk to the local pub and have a few drinks. Hes not too far gone but seems to have no ability to entertain himself of give back to the family. Never did, though.

 

Both my divorced parents and their partners came by for a weekend last year- I live on the other side of AUstralia to them. It was a Big Deal. My brother is coming over with his wife next month. Again, its a Big Deal. However, my mother very much as an open house policy and I would like to but it kind of just doenst happen very often.

 

I did have my cousin and her family come by a few years ago when I was a single mum. They were moving to my state and stayed with me for what ended up being 6 weeks while they foudn a place. I was so glad to see the end of them when they went and it meant that I didnt visit them very much- I felt they had imposed on me way too much to stay too long. They paid for their food and a bit extra for electricity, and thats it- no rent. I was pissed and it was a lesson for me to learn to communicate better.

[KatieJ]

When we moved away from my family and our friends..I insisted we have a guest bedroom..and we are now known as the local Bed and Breakfast by our nieghbors and friends! Sometimes we barely have time to get the sheets changed before the next batch comes in. That happened this summer. However, I always know they are coming! I wouldn't like it if folks just popped in looking for a room. The older we get, well, it's not so easy as it was 13 years ago when we moved here.

It is so much easier to visit with folks here in our home in MIchigan than it is to try to get around and visit everyone when we get back home to Minnesota..so yes, we love having guests, but let me know so I can get the room ready for you!

[Ellie]

:iagree:

 

I have a large *extended* family, but they all live on the Right Coast and in my adult life I've mostly on the Left Coast. They don't travel. :glare:

 

I love the idea of people dropping in and staying awhile. Since we've been in this big ol' house I've had many people stay here, for as long as a month or 6 weeks, but except for once it has not been a drop-in. I love the idea of having all those cousins drop by for a visit and a night or two...maybe I'm not living in the real world, lol.

[beezus]

Growing up in the Midwest we had relatives just dropping by to visit, and we did that too. I'm living on the west coast now and and it seems like people are more prone to call first, rather than just showing up. I personally would never just drop in on somebody without notice. Assuming that I'm home and don't have other obligations, I don't mind a visit from somebody, or maybe cooking a meal. If you are just dropping in on me though, don't expect anything fancy. I've never had anybody just drop by and expect to stay overnight. That would be a problem for us, in a small house with no extra beds and a very uncomfortable couch.

[Brooketopia]

I would love to have an open door policy...but too many times now people have come over and either:

 

1. Acted like my house was a hotel and that I existed to serve them hand and foot and clean up after them while they complained about what they didn't like about the "accomodations"

 

-or-

 

2. They bust in and take over everything, acting like I don't know how to run my own home and their ways are superior to mine.

 

Perhaps it's an issue of "who" is coming through the door? :D

 

I would love to have a room devoted to guests and I don't care if they use my washing machine and I love to have company...but seriously, it is my house and I do things the way I do them on purpose, so don't bother coming over if you can't keep your opinions to yourself.

 

My own mother walked into my living room and pointed to a sketch I had up on the wall of my husband and I and told me how much she didn't like it and that it shouldn't be displayed in so prominent a location. And then she spent that evening on the phone with her husband and went on and on about how much smaller our house was than what she had thought it would be. Obviously, she has not been invited back and I think I'd tell her to go stay somewhere else if she appeared on my doorstep.

 

I'm willing to give anyone a shot...but then I employ full discretion over whether or not they're invited to come back.