The exposion of poo, jamming the diswasher, and the Kleenex bomb-not bad for 8 mo old

[Reya]

I've met mothers who say, "Oh, my baby could NEVER do X because I ALWAYS watch them."

 

I will believe until my dying day that they either have amazingly passive kids or they're just lying to themselves. :-)

 

The only way to load and unload the dishwasher with DD is to let her help. I let her stand next to the door and move some plastic cups and silverware over to where she is, so she can pretend to put them in and take them out. DH saw this and thought it was a brilliant idea...except that apparently, when he turned his back gather some dishes to load, she grabbed some toy magnets off the fridge and threw them into the dishwasher.

 

It jammed, of course, and DH had the joy of fishing them out.

 

Then, yesterday, she got together with her buddy and doubled the fun. I turned my back to help DS with his math, and she grabbed a BRAND NEW box of Kleenex and emptied 90% of it, apparently handing wads to her older friend, who then began throwing them into the air.

 

NICE.

 

Oh, and I'd JUST gotten that cleaned up and turned back to the math when DD managed to take her poopy diaper off, rolling nicely formed stools onto the carpet and rubbing the not-so-nicely formed jello-y poo everywhere as she crawled around.

 

I turned around just as her buddy grabbed for one of the bigger chunks.

 

Yeah. That was fun.

 

But, hey, that girl's really trucking it with her push toys now! I'm not sure whether I'm really looking forward to or really dreading her getting even MORE mobile.

 

She's no longer in my arms 24/7, but she is already discovering new ways to give me gray hair. *g* One of her favorite activities is opening drawers and cabinets and rooting around for anything she probably shouldn't have.

 

I'd always said I wanted four kids, but I literally woke up in a cold sweat the other day because I dreamed I was 6 months pregnant with another one like her. I'm going to be paying a sitter $15/hr to take her next week when I'm at a conference because my baby requires combat pay rates! :-P

 

I still want more kids, but I think I'm going to have to make enough $$$ for a full-time nanny first!

[Kathy in MD]

I know 2 families that were planning on having larger families until child #2 came along. Child #1 in both cases was a boy, a nice, quiet boy. # 2 with both families was a rip-roaring, snorting girl. BTW, one family did have a full time nanny for the girl, but even that wasn't enough support to convince the couple to try for #3.

 

And I keep reading that boys are more active and physical than girls. :001_huh:

[Pamela H in Texas]

Yeah, some kiddos need a lot more attention and prevention. And even still, ALL children will get into at least a few somethings. And though I believe the majority of parents don't prevent enough, I do know that things will get by even the most conscientious parents. I was absolutely amazed with my son's ability to go into stealth mode. There were things I didn't know he did for who knows how long after it happened. And I did teach my kids to be quiet when I was on the phone, but still had to ask the electric company woman to hold on so I could get my son---She promised to hurry up after hearing me tell ds "you may not climb that wall."

 

Now, some things I prevented. Tissues were not in reach of an 8month old. And they were "blanket trained" so as not to be in the dishwasher near knives.

 

But I was just fortunate not to have a poop incident though my babies spent less than half their waking hours in a diaper. My own nickname as a child was Pamela Pee Pee Poo Poo Bucket due to a painting the bathroom incident my own parents had with me.

 

I reallly think that you're right. If a parent hasn't ever had SOME incident, they have super easy kids. I mean, *I* had one super easy kid and I still could describe an incident or two.

[kalanamak]

I'll never forget the day I was talking a phone call and hubby was trying to get out the door. There were three complete changes of clothes for BOTH of them before they did, what with one end erupting and then the other, and then a grab at a mug.

:)

[Reya]

 

Now, some things I prevented. Tissues were not in reach of an 8month old. And they were "blanket trained" so as not to be in the dishwasher near knives.

 

But I was just fortunate not to have a poop incident though my babies spent less than half their waking hours in a diaper. My own nickname as a child was Pamela Pee Pee Poo Poo Bucket due to a painting the bathroom incident my own parents had with me.

 

 

 

Um, yeah. Blanket training would go over like a lead balloon around here. (She screamed for months at just being SET DOWN. I've met people who have babies who can, for example, be put in carriers. Or strollers. Or the grocery cart before the age of 5 months. I've just never HAD one of these.)

 

We take the knives out first, of course. :-) "No touch," knives gone, "Okay, Stinky's turn!", then she "helps." I get her to "help" with laundry, too. By the time I was three, I had my own tiny scrub brush to clean the kitchen floor with. I think she'll be one of those. :-)

 

The tissues weren't in reach of any normal baby. They were way up on the arm of the couch. I'm not sure if my friend's dev. delayed 3-y-o (not walking, but standing) or my own monkey got it down, honestly. But she's the one who flung the contents around!

 

EDIT: By "not normal," I meant mine. Just to be clear. Her buddy (partner in crime?) is a toddler, in my mind, whether or not he walks. It was at her house, and he's never gotten the tissues before (which live at that level), so I don't know who did it.

Edited July 10, 2009 by Reya

[Remudamom]

STINKY???? You call the poor child STINKY???? Roflmbo.

 

(We called our oldest "pooter".)

[Pamela H in Texas]

nevermind. I am incapable, right this second, of making my point in a friendly manner.

Edited July 9, 2009 by 2J5M9K

[Reya]

STINKY???? You call the poor child STINKY???? Roflmbo.

 

(We called our oldest "pooter".)

 

Short for Stinkerbell, which is her official online name. :-P She EARNS it.

 

(Our eldest was Mr. Poopers for two years...)

[Lovedtodeath]

 

Um, yeah. Blanket training would go over like a lead balloon around here. (She screamed for months at just being SET DOWN. I've met people who have babies who can, for example, be put in carriers. Or strollers. Or the grocery cart before the age of 5 months. I've just never HAD one of these.)

:iagree:Of course, my children were in danger of choking to death if I put them down from about 4 weeks to 5 months. Then try getting them used to it.:D

[Reya]

nevermind. I am incapable, right this second, of making my point in a friendly manner.

 

Didn't mean to aggravate you!

 

A lot of people I've met insist that certain things are "the way to go," without realizing what's great for kid A can be downright abusive for kid B. I use timeouts with my BABY, for goodness sakes, and I think she's in the minority that she understands perfectly well what they are and what they mean. So blanket training would be abusive, but timeouts for her are perfectly appropriate. If still weird.

 

I didn't thinkt hat's what you meant. I thought you were just comparing. As was I!

[Lovedtodeath]

Didn't mean to aggravate you!

 

A lot of people I've met insist that certain things are "the way to go," without realizing what's great for kid A can be downright abusive for kid B. I use timeouts with my BABY, for goodness sakes, and I think she's in the minority that she understands perfectly well what they are and what they mean. So blanket training would be abusive, but timeouts for her are perfectly appropriate. If still weird.

So how doesone give a time out to a baby?

[Lovedtodeath]

Seriously, I have read a billion parenting books and learned my little heart out from the first pg test and it hasn't helped. I am pretty much clueless and tend to take offense at Pamela's parenting advice because it seems so easy for her.

 

And I love her and she is really trying to help.

[Reya]

So how doesone give a time out to a baby?

 

Okay. I'm probably going to get hate mail now and people telling me how I think my little snowflake is the most precious thing ever. I know she's not. She's just a baby. Different babies have different needs, etc., etc.

 

NOW that that's out of the way....

 

She's a very, very early talker and has been able to follow simple directions from about four months old. She'd already started being WAY too handsy (she had a pincher grasp at four months, and USED it), and I knew I had to control it somehow. Once I realized she knew how to follow directions, I made a game out of it that we played for a while. I'd tell her to stand up or sit down or lie down and give her a big hug or tickle her or throw her up into the air when she did it. I'd tell her to find my eyes/nose/mouth/ears and do the same. She'd already been doing a few signs for a while, so I'd always required those, too, before she got what she wanted.

 

Then I taught her "no touch" until I was certain that she knew it. Then, I used it whenever she found something she wasn't supposed to have and touched it after a warning. I'd say "no touch," she'd look at me, giggle, and touch it, as if to say, "If I'm cute enough, can I get away with it?" (Apparently, I did the exact same thing at about that age.) Then I'd say, "No touch!" louder and meaner. Then, if she ignored me again, "No touch or timeout!" And then, if she ignored me a third time, timeout.

 

Timeout is being placed in a baby-safe area (NOT the crib) alone and being ignored for a minute or two. I would say, "No! No touch! Timeout!" and put her in it. By the third time she got timeout, she had figured out what it meant and from then on very rarely got it again.

 

I'm now saying "No touch or timeout!" immediately, but I'll phase out the "or" soon and give timeout without a warning.

 

I don't use "no touch!" frivolously. If it's not going to hurt her (which is rare, as we're pretty baby safe) or she's not going to hurt it (which is a lot more common), she's allowed.

 

I'm already doing that for "no eat!" and it works very well. "No eat, or go away!" is usually what I do, rather than timeout. This is VERY, VERY useful because it means I can take an extremely mouthy baby outside and she'll be able to play in the grass for 10-15 minutes at a time. (And then she breaks discipline, as the desire to taste overpowers the desire to stay outside.)

 

I didn't have to do this with my son. I had him trained not to pull hair before he was two weeks old! It took four MONTHS for DD, and she's way more verbally precocious. I could just tell him "no," an most of the time, he didn't do it. She had to know "why not?" every single time. When he got stubborn about something, he got VERY stubborn, but it wasn't a constant test over every little thing.

 

He bit me once. EVER. I'm still fighting her about trying to look around while still attached to the breast. (She's actually made be bleed again! I have to physically pin her head to keep her from trying to haul my nipple into the next jurisdiction. And, yes, it's been this way from birth. No gazing lovingly at mommy here--not unless we're falling asleep. What baby wants is to see who that is talking in the next room...or take a closer look at that toy over there...or maybe look at THAT wall for a while....)

 

Anyhow, I want to get those habits instilled NOW because she's already standing freely on her own, cruising, and walking with push toys right now, so if she's out of control, I'm in trouble. She also can make multi-step plans and carry them out, like moving something to crawl onto it so she can get onto something else. If I don't teach her safe behaviors starting NOW, I'm going to be in serious trouble very soon.

 

Her baby mobility is way outpacing her baby common sense! :-)

 

And, yeah, she can take off her diaper at will, too, but she rarely does, as she knows she's not supposed to. *sighs* She's SUPPOSED to come get me when she wants a diaper change, if I'm not already holding her, and she's usually really good about that. (This is something that sort of happened between us, not something that I taught.)

[Reya]

Seriously, I have read a billion parenting books and learned my little heart out from the first pg test and it hasn't helped. I am pretty much clueless and tend to take offense at Pamela's parenting advice because it seems so easy for her.

 

And I love her and she is really trying to help.

 

And I love the shellshocked expression when I come back after leaving DD with someone who's a baby "expert" for an hour or two. :-P

 

I'm GOOD with kids. All my family is. You have to be to raise any child genetically linked to us because even if he doesn't have autism/ADD/CAPD/sensory integration problems/dyslexia (I vomited uncontrollably when made to eat smooth foods as a child! How's that for a talent???--tactile issues can take all kinds of forms), you still have our incredibly stubbornness.

 

Before I turned four, I had:

-broken my wrist

-scarred both my knees for LIFE

-sliced a 1.5" cut in my foot with a piece of glass....

 

....all by defying my mother. I REMEMBER each incident, too, quite clearly. She said, "Don't do X." I waited for her to turn away for a second, and then I did it instantly. Then I usually screamed. All except the glass, which I continued to walk on for a while to keep from admitting that I'd made a mistake in defying her.

 

Kids from that line scream until they choke on their own vomit when you try to "cry it out"--not once, but for DAYS in a row. But, when raised by reasonable well-adjusted members of our family, they go on to impressive success. I am the least educated in four generations. Even my great-grandfather had a master's degree, back in the 'teens.

 

There's a reason those families were never very large even when big families were the norm!

 

I'm always being asked by people I know how to handle X problem or Y problem with their kids, especially if they've seen how my kids have changed from birth onward and they realize I'm not one of the blessed ones with reasonably tractable children. :-) ("How do you DO it?" is a frequent refrain.) But, dang it, they have PERSISTENCE, and that's a good trait!

 

Actually, if I had eight or so, they'd be pretty easy as they'd keep each other in line. But I don't think I could survive that many babies like them and stay sane if I had to work, too.

[SherryTX]

I have to tell you - as much trouble the little girl can be - she is going to be a blast (and I can tell in many ways she already is for you).

 

She sounds a lot like my 2nd to youngest was at that age.

 

I think it is great you have her involved with chores at a young age - sure she isn't DOING them just yet, but she is soaking it all in, etc. Those are the kids (in my experience) that are more willing to help out when they get older.

 

I remember when my oldest was about 18 months old. I was babysitting my friend's 7 year old at her house, and she had one of those very expensive Rainbow vacuum cleaners that had camel hair brushes at the end of the attachment that was on it that day. Well, I went to use the rest room - he was playing with the 7 year old, who was a pretty responsible kid - and by the time I get back, his diaper is off - and he is using the very expensive attachment to try to vacuum up his poop. (My friend's kid left the room to get a drink or something.)

 

It was pretty funny after I got all the poop out of the brush - but I was HORRIFIED when I saw him. He had this big beaming smile on his face because he was of course being a good big boy and trying to clean up his mess haha.

[camibami]

MY youngest had a thing for climbing in the dishwasher and "helping" unload it as a wee one, too. And as *soon* as you got that child's diaper off for a bath, she would rocket down the hall and poop in the same exact spot in the playroom. :confused: Even if she'd just gone- we used to wait! I took to locking older DD and I into the bathroom with her, *then* removing the diaper after a few times of that. It was so weird. DH joked we ought to have just put some puppy pads down and saved on diapers, but-gross!!

 

I was always very smugly proud of my oldest's careful, no-eating-weird-stuff, reasonableness.She was the most rational baby and toddler you ever saw. I was sure those hitting kids at playgroup had terrible mothers. Then I had my youngest, and well.....

 

...let's just say I certainly do NOT think that way anymore!!!

[Lovedtodeath]

Oh well, I have given "baby time outs" from the time of toddlerhood, so that doesn't surprise me. I don't see how it is better (or that much different) than Pamela's ideas. I usually use a playpen.

[adams101]

As a former preschool/MDO teacher, I have seen some very young children who understood exactly what they were doing, even before they could walk. That sounds like your situation. I have also seen older children (3 or 4) who didn't have a clue. Every kid is different.

 

My brother and I walked at a very early age, as did my dc. Anyway, before he could walk, my mother pulled him out of the bathrom sink, out from under the bed, where his shirt got stuck on the box springs so he was screaming, and out of the built in dirty clothes hamper, which had doors on it. She has always said that if he had been born first, I wouldn't exist. I completely understand what you are going through and I think you are doing a good thing by being creative with your solutions. Every child is different. Sometimes you have to get creative!

[Mrs. Frankweiler]

First of all.....:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:.

 

I totally understand. I'm currently the mother of a 2 1/2 year old who sounds a lot like your daughter. She's our 4th. You'd think we'd know every parenting/discipline trick in the book by now. (Kid #2 wasn't exactly an easy toddler, either!) When #4 was an infant we kept open the possibility of another baby in a couple of years, just like the pattern we'd been doing. As she became more mobile, then entered the terrible 2s, whenever people ask if we're "done," dh will say, "Well, #4 has convinced us that we need to take an extended break at this point."

 

You know that song "Crazy" by Patsy Cline? This is the way my kids have learned it..... "Crazy.....my daughter is driving me....crazeeeee!" (There's more to it if you'd like me to send it too you. I don't want everyone here to think I'm a TERRIBLE mother!)

 

I don't use "no touch!" frivolously. If it's not going to hurt her (which is rare, as we're pretty baby safe) or she's not going to hurt it (which is a lot more common), she's allowed.

 

Anyhow, I want to get those habits instilled NOW because she's already standing freely on her own, cruising, and walking with push toys right now, so if she's out of control, I'm in trouble. She also can make multi-step plans and carry them out, like moving something to crawl onto it so she can get onto something else. If I don't teach her safe behaviors starting NOW, I'm going to be in serious trouble very soon.

 

My advice would be to pick your battles as much as you can, for your own sanity. It sounds like you're already starting to do this. And it also sounds like she does listen and learns from the consequences you (or life) instills. I hate to break this to you, but your daughter will probably never be easy. She will probably be very funny, creative and smart, but "easy" is not a word you will use to describe her. This is going to be a marathon, not a sprint, so if you get onto her for EVERY infraction in an effort to make her behave "like all those other babies" you will both be miserable. There is a very fine line here, because with one of my kids I was more lax than I should have been and I'm dealing with those consequences now.

 

Don't let her do things that are (too) dangerous for her, but you will probably have to let her do things that will make mothers of "easy" kids cringe. Kids like your daughter learn from natural consequences. For example, say she wants to walk on a hot sidewalk barefoot. She'll probably fight you if you make her wear shoes, but tell her once to wear them, if/when she doesn't wear them and probably burns her little feet she'll remember next time and those shoes will be on without nagging. She learned her lesson + no emergency room visit = happier mommy. I would not use this tactic around hot kitchen stoves, medication, or moving vehicles, but otherwise, use your best judgement.

 

You will also have to learn to ignore the looks (real or imaginary!) that you feel you are getting from other mothers with seemingly easy or perfect children. This is not for the faint of heart...just keep telling yourself, "This is my kid...these people don't have to live with this...it's for her own good....I'm doing my best." Above all, these children need consistency in discipline, which is very hard to keep doing when you have a screaming child in the middle of grocery store. Again, I've learned my lesson the hard way.

 

My mom says I was an "adventurous and challenging" child too, so I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. You can do this! And look...you turned out ok! In those darker moments you can take some comfort in knowing that one day she, too, will have a daughter who acts just like her!

[Lovedtodeath]

You know what really irks me? I was a lovely quiet, obedient, studious child who would feel remorse if my parents looked at me cross eyed. My daughter is my opposite in almost every respect. We are both sensitive, but I go into "freeze" mode, but she goes into "fight" mode. It is so hard for me to relate to her.

Edited July 10, 2009 by Lovedtodeath

[Mommyof4ks]

LOL! Sorry, I know I should not laugh, but that sounds so much like a day at my house when my dd was young. My boys are a walk in the park compared to her. The good news is that at 8 she is head strong in a positive focused way.

 

She would not be left alone for a second or she was into something! Heck, she managed to fall off of and into things when I turned my back to see who pulled into the driveway *sigh*. We had a few 'expert' babysitters ask that we go over those instructions one more time after the first experience with her lol. They seriously thought they could handle it their own way, but dd was having none of that!

[Rosie_0801]

Maybe you experienced mammas will laugh at my naivety, but I didn't expect to find dd2 knocking on the front door sobbing, after having pulled the bottom slat out of the louvre window in the bedroom and climbed out.

 

Rosie