No ambition whatsoever...

[BikeBookBread]

How do you deal with this moms? I'm a mom of 5 and 3 year old daughters. I have no ambition right now. My house isn't grossly dirty, but it definitely isn't tidy. I've signed up with Motivated Moms and it is a good day if half the checklist is done.

 

I had every intention of starting to homeschool my girls in June and those desires have faded. (We were just going to go through the summer because of the heat here in Almost Mexico; my kids don't really play outside a whole lot except for trips to the Base pool and swimming lessons). I'm lucky if the girls pull out some cuisinaire rods, Legos, a gear toy or some puzzles on their own and play with them. They color a lot. I'm a keep the TV off kind of mom, but right now, I'm just letting them watch back-to-back Charlie & Lola episodes on DVD. I keep hoping this will pass, but it's been going on a month now, so I don't think it's associated with my cycle. They have had a couple of play dates, but I haven't had much ambition to even set those up.

 

I've been treated for depression in the past, and I don't know that this is it, but I definitely don't feel "myself." I'm not sad, I'm sleeping fine, not testy at all, just have NO ambition... My husband works horribly long hours, and comes home and has to study for his military-required class most nights and all weekend, except when he breaks for church, so we don't get much time together as a couple let alone as a family. Or is this just the fact that it is summertime? My biggest fear about homeschooling has and remains that I just won't be able to do it...and I'm seeing that play out right now...even with the simplest Kinder schedule.

 

Sorry for the vent, but it somehow seems easier to vent to people you can't see...:001_huh:

[KathyBC]

I can relate to your post. I struggle with motivation, particularly in the heat. Summer is also my dh's busy season for work and somehow that kills any ambition, too. I usually find my motivation picking up as fall approaches. Something about the weather, I guess. A couple things I try to do in summer: pick a couple cleaning projects that won't get done any other time; and pick some reading that is self-educating.

 

Not a lot of help, but you're not alone!

[WTMCassandra]

(((Stephanie)))

 

You are dealing with a LOT. The not having your husband around is HUGE, especially when the girls are so young. And I think it's worthwhile checking out that depression thing again just to rule it out.

 

When I am in a "funk," sometimes I have to work hard at figuring out exactly why. The two reasons above could certainly be "the reasons" for you, but if they aren't, try to figure out what is causing it. Did you choose curriculum you THINK you should do but really don't like? Is it too teacher-intensive for you? Is self-discipline an issue?

 

Perhaps you should just give yourself permission to take the summer off totally and not do school at all until September. Then see how you feel.

 

When you do try to start, try starting with only one subject, and just do that ONE subject for two weeks. Then add another and do just those two until that feels comfortable.

 

We have a strong routine, and sometimes the routine carries us when one or more of us has the "don't want to's" of a morning. Math is right after breakfast, as sure as the sun rises. Then we do Latin. Then we have a recess. By this time I'm usually in the groove if I'm the one out of sorts.

[BikeBookBread]

(((Stephanie)))

 

You are dealing with a LOT. The not having your husband around is HUGE, especially when the girls are so young. And I think it's worthwhile checking out that depression thing again just to rule it out.

 

I was afraid of that :( I just don't want to call the doc because knowing military docs, it'll just mean a trip straight back to the pharmacy, and I've been off of the ADs for 3 months now, after 3 years on them...way too long in my estimation...and my Doc did want me to try and go off. I've had an easy time of it, as opposed to other times when they tried to taper me off of them.

 

Did you choose curriculum you THINK you should do but really don't like? Is it too teacher-intensive for you? Is self-discipline an issue?

 

I LOVE the curriculum I chose! I did a ton of research and really took DD5 into consideration. Both girls keep asking, "when are we going to do some homeschool, Mom?"

 

Perhaps you should just give yourself permission to take the summer off totally and not do school at all until September. Then see how you feel.

 

Hmmm...maybe so.

 

When you do try to start, try starting with only one subject, and just do that ONE subject for two weeks. Then add another and do just those two until that feels comfortable.

 

Not a bad idea...perhaps I bit off more than I could chew. All (and I do mean ALL) of my friends are very successful homeschooling moms...with experience...I'm older than most of them (almost 41), and we had kids later in life, so my friends are a) younger with lots more energy and/or b) have older kids and are established in their routines...

 

We have a strong routine, and sometimes the routine carries us when one or more of us has the "don't want to's" of a morning. Math is right after breakfast, as sure as the sun rises. Then we do Latin. Then we have a recess. By this time I'm usually in the groove if I'm the one out of sorts.

 

I've always been a routine girl. I guess I had just better press on with diligence and self-control.

 

Thanks for your encouragement WTMC! I appreciate it.

[BikeBookBread]

I can relate to your post. I struggle with motivation, particularly in the heat. Summer is also my dh's busy season for work and somehow that kills any ambition, too. I usually find my motivation picking up as fall approaches. Something about the weather, I guess. A couple things I try to do in summer: pick a couple cleaning projects that won't get done any other time; and pick some reading that is self-educating.

 

Not a lot of help, but you're not alone!

 

Thanks so much! Its good to know that I"m not alone. I DO have a brand new artisan bread book that I want to bake my way through :) speaking of self-educating.

[WTMCassandra]

I was afraid of that :( I just don't want to call the doc because knowing military docs, it'll just mean a trip straight back to the pharmacy, and I've been off of the ADs for 3 months now, after 3 years on them...way too long in my estimation...and my Doc did want me to try and go off. I've had an easy time of it, as opposed to other times when they tried to taper me off of them.

 

 

Ohhhh, I had blocked the memories of how fond military docs are of meds. Yes, I can see why you'd want to try other things. I'd DEFINITELY take the summer off, then, seeing as how you're just getting your feet on the ground after having been on meds for three years.

 

I'm glad you like your curriculum. That should help when it's time to start in the fall.

[joannqn]

I found the Motivated Moms schedule to have way too many tasks on it for me to do in a day, especially on top of everything else I needed to do. I wouldn't let not getting it done worry you.

 

Summer, especially if you live in a hot area, can make it hard to get stuff done. I've noticed that the hot days here have really helped me solidify my understanding of the word languor. When you're hot, it is normal to feel unmotivated.

 

Lack of motivation can be a symptom of depression, too. I would especially consider this as you've just stopped anti-depressants recently. This does not mean I think you necessarily have to go back on them. I suffer from depression, have periods where I have no ambition/motivation, but have been med free for 5 years.

 

Sometimes you can knock yourself out of the funk with simple things. You may have to find what works for you (and here's the hard part) remember to do them when you get in that funk.

 

For me, taking the time to really do some good grooming rather than rushing through it helps a lot. I take a nice long leisurely shower, taking my time washing and shaving. Then I get out and pluck my eyebrows so that they look nice. I take extra care in brushing, flossing, and whitening my teeth. I put on makeup and dress in something comfortable but nice. By the time I'm done (I usually spend 90+ minutes on this), I feel pretty good again.

 

Another thing that helps is to force yourself out of the house to do something YOU find fun, even if you need to take your kids with it. Packing a picnic and heading to the park is NOT a good one for me because I find watching my kids play at the playground boring. Instead, I look for a movie or play to go see. Or take a field trip to some place I like as much as they do...like the science center.

 

You might just need to plan something for a mom's night out, or invite some mom friends over for chocolate desserts and a movie.

 

The key is to force yourself to DO something that's specifically a pick me up.

[SonshineLearner]

I'd try for something like Classical Conversations, which is a once a week group that you attend together. Or, a co-op that you go to once or twice a week. Your kids are little enough that there might be playgroups that you could attend, too. Having something to set your school week around is really great! At that age, it's the outing that's most fun about any activity.

I'm sorry for you...It's sad to not have extended family (that you like:-) around.

Carrie:-)

PS, eat good chocolate!

[myfunnybunch]

In addition to the other suggestions you've gotten, you may want to look at your diet. Low iron, for example, can lead to fatigue. Also look at things like Omega-3 fatty acids (can help alleviate depression), B vitamins, vitamin D. If you end up at the doc, ask if he can test you for iron dieficiency and some other basics. :grouphug:

 

Cat

[BikeBookBread]

I feel so much better today. I got up and was feeling lousy...but got the breakfast done, took a nice shower, dolled-up a bit and actually went to Bible study at church. So glad I did.

 

Still no homeschooling today (and only one question about it from DD5 which I skirted for the moment), but I think I'm going to really take it easy until the end of summer. Thanks all.

 

PS I had some chocolate too...always a good thing :)

[Ravin]

I can relate. We're not in almost-Mexico, but in the city it doesn't even cool off as much at night this time of year as in the "real" desert.

 

I sent DD to my mom's for a while (my sister came out to get her, and is bringing her back at the end of July, unless she gets terribly homesick, then I might fly her home), and I'm kind of hibernating and gradually working on reorganizing/cleaning up. I'm also finally taking care of my health after being without insurance and going off my thyroid meds...which don't cost much except you need a doc to prescribe them!

 

Most of K for us turned into DD doing a couple of worksheets, me reading to her, then leaving her to her own devices with art supplies, toys, and TV while I tried to get some sleep (I work nights and my energy levels have been in the basement b/c of my low thyroid). We've all been stressed, don't get to see DH enough, etc. It's hard to get motivated.

 

I've learned to make sure the essentials get taken care of--everyone bathes, the laundry gets done, and bills are paid, DD does learn even if we did devolve very nearly to unschooling-plus-TV-babysitter for a stretch there.

 

The beginning of August we'll start first grade whether I feel motivated or not. I'm using DD's vacation as a break in the routine after which we can start new, better routines.

 

Routine is good.

[BikeBookBread]

...my energy levels have been in the basement b/c of my low thyroid). We've all been stressed, don't get to see DH enough, etc. It's hard to get motivated.

 

I never thought of thyroid...I've been tested before but it has always been "normal"...but then again, I've heard that pinning down borderline hypo or hyper-thyroidism can be tricky.

 

Getting the basics done is a good thing, you're right! And that is something that I can be happy and proud of! We have good homemade meals on the table, homemade bread in the bin, washing is done (but not folded...), the girls are clean, and I look decent. (I do adhere to the absolutely no sweats rule even at home, unless I am ill or recovering from a workout!)

[happyWImom]

I agree with what a lot of the other ladies have said about getting yourself checked out. But, with regards to the hsing, do not put the pressure on yourself. If you want to keep them busy but don't feel motivated, get them a bunch of the little activity type books, dot to dot, coloring books, etc... Instead of regular tv, check out educational type (yet whatever interests them) dvds from the library, and just read to them. I have tried to do too much in the past, and when I finally let up, it all came together.:001_smile:

 

And, as many mom's had told me at the time "Your dc's are still so young! Enjoy them, play with them!!!"

 

Good luck.:grouphug::grouphug: