How many very difficult to teach boys/girls?

[Penny]

I'm interested in seeing if I'm in the minority or majority (and how much so) with my very difficult child. I'm trying to make this a poll. If it doesn't work, will someone tell me how to do this? I hope that families can vote more than once to indicate all of their children.

 

1. Very difficult ds's

 

2. Very difficult dd's

 

3. Reasonable ds's

 

4. Reasonable dd's

 

5. ds's who've out grown their difficulty

 

6. dd's who've out grown their difficulty

[Testimony]

I want to answer your question, but I am confused as to what you are asking. Are you asking is it difficult to teach a boy versus a girl? Or are you asking do boys overcome their difficulties to teach easier than girls?

 

I truly believe that it depends upon the subject and also the child. If I am having difficulty teaching any child, I need to assess is the material being presented in a way that they understand or is the material too difficult or too easy for them?

 

My experience with teaching children and I am talking from teaching Sunday School, children's church, and homeschooling is if the material is clear, the child will get it. A child's learning ability is based upon their learning style ie kinetic, visual, auditory, oral. Maybe I am reading this post wrong?

 

Blessings,

Karen

http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/testimony

[Penny]

You may have answered my question. I think that you don't have a child that is very difficult overall. These children are difficult to teach no matter the subject. My ds simply does not want to use his brain. If he already knows the material, or it is simply a matter of listening to a story, then he is OK. But if it is math or any other subject that requires active brain use, even if he knows the material, watch out!

 

If you have one, you know it!!!!

 

Thanks, and Blessings to you!

 

Penny

[Kimber]

Ditto! I had one, she outgrew it--almost :)

[cajun.classical]

I'm interested in seeing if I'm in the minority or majority (and how much so) with my very difficult child. I'm trying to make this a poll. If it doesn't work, will someone tell me how to do this? I hope that families can vote more than once to indicate all of their children.

 

1. Very difficult ds's

 

2. Very difficult dd's

 

3. Reasonable ds's

 

4. Reasonable dd's

 

5. ds's who've out grown their difficulty

 

6. dd's who've out grown their difficulty

 

It won't let me vote more than once. But neither my son nor my daughters are difficult to teach. They love learning and we really enjoy our school time together.

[mcconnellboys]

Well, some days/weeks/years my sons have been more difficult than others. I think growth has more to do with this than anything. So I would have to say "other", I suppose..... Obviously, if they were just impossible for me (in my opinion) all the time then I wouldn't be doing this.....

 

Regena

[Beth in Central TX]

I think overall my sons are easy to teach. Of course, we have our problems here and there. My oldest doesn't like to get anything wrong in math, but he has made great improvement in his attitude this year. My middle son does that work that I assign him, but he doesn't like the fact that it takes away from his play time. My youngest is still really excited about doing school. I still get big hugs and large grins when he sounds out a difficult word.

 

I really enjoy teaching my boys. Of course, it helps that my oldest likes the fact that he's homeschooled. He's always very expressive of his gratitude. Since he doesn't dream of going to public or private school, and he does his work without complaint (most of the time), the other two follow his lead.

 

DH is a big help in this area too. He helps me teach and subs for me when I have an appointment that I don't want to drag all the boys to. He's very supportive and listens to the boys when they talk about what they've learned that day. School is a priority for us, so the boys emulate that same mindset.

[Closeacademy]

We have bad days/weeks/whatever when:

 

1. She is growing or transitioning to the next learning stage. So regression happens and we have to gear way down to almost unschooling.

 

2. She has not had protein for breakfast. For some reason a good breakfast with meat or eggs really helps the brain work.

 

3. She had some bad stuff happen that morning. This can be anything from hurting herself to just waking up in a bad mood to whatever.

 

4. She did not get enough sleep. I make sure that she goes to bed at a decent time even though she fights it because she needs a good night's rest to have a good day.

 

I also find that she learns better at differnt times of the year. So I adjust my schedule accordingly.

 

Take a look at things outside of school that may be affecting him.

 

Is he getting enough sleep?

 

Did he have protein this morning?

 

Does he need to run off some energy before he does schoolwork?

 

Did he start the morning out bad and need a restart?

 

Is he growing or transitioning between phases?

 

Hope this helps.:)

[Michelle T]

You may have answered my question. I think that you don't have a child that is very difficult overall. These children are difficult to teach no matter the subject. My ds simply does not want to use his brain. If he already knows the material, or it is simply a matter of listening to a story, then he is OK. But if it is math or any other subject that requires active brain use, even if he knows the material, watch out!

 

If you have one, you know it!!!!

 

Thanks, and Blessings to you!

 

Penny

 

My DS is 11.5, and also very resistant to anything that requires brain power. Not only in school work, although that is the worst area, but even in doing things he considers fun. He definitely qualifies as a very difficult to teach DS, part of which comes from his personality, part of which is from his raging ADHD and LD's.

Michelle T

[Penny]

We have bad days/weeks/whatever when:

 

1. She is growing or transitioning to the next learning stage. So regression happens and we have to gear way down to almost unschooling.

 

2. She has not had protein for breakfast. For some reason a good breakfast with meat or eggs really helps the brain work.

 

3. She had some bad stuff happen that morning. This can be anything from hurting herself to just waking up in a bad mood to whatever.

 

4. She did not get enough sleep. I make sure that she goes to bed at a decent time even though she fights it because she needs a good night's rest to have a good day.

 

I also find that she learns better at differnt times of the year. So I adjust my schedule accordingly.

 

Take a look at things outside of school that may be affecting him.

 

Is he getting enough sleep?

 

Did he have protein this morning?

 

Does he need to run off some energy before he does schoolwork?

 

Did he start the morning out bad and need a restart?

 

Is he growing or transitioning between phases?

 

Hope this helps.:)

 

 

Thanks you for your tips. I have however, tried everything. I also believe in the protein thing, and the sleep. He's worn out one of those miniture trampolines making sure he gets his wiggles out. (He learned all of his math facts on one!) I'm afraid it seems he's been stuck in a bad phase for a few years now. I'm sure psychologists would use lots of letters in the alphabet to describe him. But we just keep plugging away, dealing with the issues as best as possible. Last year I hired a behavior specialist (ABA) to train me in ways to deal with him. That helped very much. I'm hoping beyond hope that he will out grow all of this, but one thing I know for sure, God has a plan and He is faithful!

 

The funny thing is that he really is bright! I just have to force it out of him.

 

Penny

[Wee Pip]

I could relate to Christy's list, especially the growing/transitioning to the next stage. I'm hoping that's what it is right now, anyway:)

 

I could also relate to what Michelle said about even doing something that he/she considers fun is very difficult. Argh. We don't do projects or lapbooks because it.drives.me.crazy!!!!! I hear nothing but complaining the whole way through. Its pure torture. Later, (maybe 1 year later) I'll hear her say, "remember when we did xyz? That was fun. I'd like to do that again!" What?!!!? Here is where we are currently at (though our struggles always change)...

 

Seems like most of the SL books I read aloud, I get from her, "that's boring." "that's stupid" "I hate that book". Later, I sort of figure it out that she actually enjoyed some of it.

 

Writing - she hates the way she writes her letters. She hates the way she spells words. She can't write. She won't write. Don't make her write, for pity's sake.

 

Reading - just recently went thru a big reading growth spurt, but you'd never know it. I can only tell because I made her read to me. She refuses to read anything Frog & Toad. Hates Arnold Lobel. Pictures are too dark. Most 2nd grade level readers are too dark. Won't read them. She did enjoy Amelia Bedelia. But most 2nd gr easy readers have dark pictures and don't have the fun storylines like Amelia Bedelia.

 

She's also in a huge "I'm too embarrassed" stage. Won't do anything because its too embarrassing. Won't work on certain things for AWANA because its too embarrassing.

 

She's really good at - taking charge of people, knowing what other people should be doing, cooking breakfast, and painting wood projects. Love her dearly, but really wonder what I'm doing most days...

[amyable]

I voted one difficult dd and one reasonable dd (really it's 1 difficult dd and 2 reasonable ones :)) My oldest is the difficult one - I am discovering among other things that she is very right brained and just processes differently than I expect her to, which causes problems.

[Storm Bay]

Since I wasn't sure what you meant by very difficult, I chose it. Not because academics are hard, but for other issues. I only voted about one of my dc, though. If you meant very difficult becuse they have a hard time grasping academics, my answer is incorrect.

[siloam]

Oh that is hard.

 

My oldest really does love to learn, but does go through bouts of bad attitudes. She can be very stubborn at times. Like lately she suddenly can't remember how to write a multiplication problem and she wants me to do it for her. When I tell her it is written exactly like addition, she can't remember how to do addition either, can I please do it for her. Smelling something fishy I grabbed the timer and told her how ever long it took her to figure out the answer would be how long she would NOT get to play on the computer later and suddenly she had it written down in just a couple of seconds. :rolleyes: Grrrr....

 

My 2nd dd hates learning, and in general is Eeyore in personality. She has learned to go through the motions like it or not, but I still hear about it, or at least a sigh.

 

My 3rd dd follows the 2nd's lead, though when she was younger she asked to do school. It was more of not wanting to be left out and as soon as ds got old enough to be a play mate she no longer wanted to do school.

 

The boy of the family is yet to be determined, but has the potential of being the worst. Like this week he made ME some hsing sheets and he gets very upset if we don't have the time to do them. Like I need to practice handwriting. :rolleyes: I do it because it is important to him as often as I can. I hope his attitude stays positive towards school, but this stubborn streak worries me.

 

But most of my frustrations are due to having four kids. I just have a good chance someone will be having an off day on any given day, including me, which was the problem yesterday. I have a girl friend with kids who really like to be difficult (like my oldest, but more regular), and while I get just enough of a glimpse to sympathize with her, I don't have to deal with the stubborn refusal to do work just because they can on the consistent basis that she does.

 

Heather

[Mrs Mungo]

I have:

an easy to teach DD (although she's 12 now and getting that whole attitude issue)

a difficult to teach DD (yes, I'm sure letters of the alphabet apply)

an easy to teach DS

 

I agree with some of the other posts that there are plenty of factors involved such as sleep and protein. Sometimes though, she's just difficult for no good reason.

 

The other day she cried and threw a fit and moaned and complained over her spelling for 3 hours. Suddenly she said "oh, wait, I see what I'm supposed to do" and finished it in 5 minutes. She just needed to realize for herself that she *could* do it. It didn't matter how I explained it or told her she could do it, she had to figure that out for herself. I think a big part of getting what you need out of kids like this is to put the ball in their court more often. Just my own experience, YMMV.

[Penny]

My kids are all very easy to teach... the only challenging piece is that each of them needs a different style of teaching (and what that is changes over the years). With most of my kids finding the right 'rhythm' has been almost instinctual - with one it took a bit more conscious effort, and a real leap of faith!

 

 

**edited to add: I have 5 daughters (14.5, 13, 9, and 6 yr old twins) and one 11 yr old son (the one who required a leap of faith).**

 

May I ask, what was the leap of faith?

 

Penny

[Susan in TX]

I have one son 11, who is difficult to teach. He really doesn't like anything having to do with school. My seven daughters have all been reasonable, easy, or very easy.

 

Susan in TX

[Penny]

Thank you Eliana for taking the time to share your leap of faith. I may need to take instruction from this!

 

Many thanks to all who participated in this poll.

 

I did get the encouragement I wanted. I'm not the only one with a difficult child! I pray that you and your children will be blessed. I pray that you as Mom will have the perseverance to school and raise your children for the glory of the Lord Jesus Christ our Saviour.

 

Penny