BMW Posted June 18, 2009 Share Posted June 18, 2009 So... we have a large family... economic times are tough... several teens and more about to be teens... I've not had a college education and although I know enough to get my child to take the tests and get apps out, I've not put children into college (my 19 yr old girl did attend some community college classes this last year)... I don't know much about financial aid (if there IS any, anymore) or grants or scholarships, etc. I have a brother who has put his 3 girls through college... helped them... guided them... he has a masters, his wife does, too... His girls are now grown. He has offered to take in my 17 yog who really, really wants to a college education at a university. She would have room and board and his help with her classes and all... he and my daughter are asking if she can go for her senior year (this fall) so that she'll be a resident there... What do you think? It is several states away... about 35 driving hours, I think. we wouldn't have the money to send her back and forth... I'd save up to go to her graduation... Would you look at this like a free boarding school opportunity? Would you see the positives? My brother and his wife are wonderful people... they've been good parents... in past generations, haven't families separated because of opportunities? My girl is responsible and smart... I would miss her... I doubt that she would be in any danger, my brother would take good care of her... and give her more than I can... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted June 18, 2009 Share Posted June 18, 2009 I'd let her go. :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthwestMom Posted June 18, 2009 Share Posted June 18, 2009 I would absolutely do it if that is what your DD truly wants to do. It would be so hard to let her go, but what a beautiful gift you'd be giving her! Your brother and his wife sound wonderful. You are so fortunate to have them! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EarleneW Posted June 18, 2009 Share Posted June 18, 2009 I agree with the previous 2 posters. It sounds like a great opportunity with great people who love her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbeyej Posted June 18, 2009 Share Posted June 18, 2009 That sounds like a fabulous opportunity for her, and she would be with people that it sounds like you genuinely love and respect (as people and parents). She really wants to go... I went to college at 17 -- 3,000 miles from home -- and while I know it was hard on my mother, I really do think it was the right choice for me. I think you should let her go. If you could sock away money and watch air fares or try some of the discount sites (fares are at the lowest they've been in years), maybe you'd even surprise yourself and be able to bring her home for the holidays... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camibami Posted June 18, 2009 Share Posted June 18, 2009 It sounds like a Godsend, frankly. I would let her go, if she wanted to. With email, Skype, etc, keeping in touch is so easy these days!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BMW Posted June 18, 2009 Author Share Posted June 18, 2009 Thanks... as I pout a little thinking about missing her... A couple other thoughts... she would be a senior this year... she has a good job here... she doesn't have close friends that she's torn about leaving... but, she has a job... I know I should think "bigger" than a current minimum wage job... but, in many places having ANY job is a good thing... my dh is concerned... he is afraid that there would be creepy guys (there are plenty in our own county!!)... that she would be lonely and not want to after she gets there (she is adventurous... I think she'd thrive)... that she'd be bored because it's not like she's going off to a city... it's more remote... but, I think she's good if there's a taco bell!! What are the benefits of her going as a senior to that state...does it make a big difference for "residents"? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Avila Posted June 18, 2009 Share Posted June 18, 2009 I think I would let her go, too. It sounds like you can trust your brother and his wife, and it sounds like your DD has a good head on her shoulders. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicole M Posted June 18, 2009 Share Posted June 18, 2009 I would let her go. But I would be really, really sad, too. Missing her terribly is to be expected. As for the job, my son's grades suffered during his first two quarters at community college this year because he was working. He is bright and driven. But it is asking a lot of a kid to hold down a job and do college preparatory work. Sure, lots of kids do it, but what a blessing if she were able to focus solely on her goal of getting into and succeeding in college, no? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted June 18, 2009 Share Posted June 18, 2009 Not only would I do this, I actually am. My 17 year old just left home this past weekend. She is spending the summer with her older sister and then in the fall she will be moving in with my brother in TX for her final year in high school so that she will be a TX resident to go to college there next year. My brother would be the children's primary guardian in case of my and my hubby death with my dd second in line so of course, I trust them both implicitly. The older sister did pretty much the same thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tabrett Posted June 18, 2009 Share Posted June 18, 2009 I will probably be letting my dd go too. She may be able to attend a School of the Arts boarding school. I will have to let her go at 16. I know it the best for her. Let her go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jplain Posted June 18, 2009 Share Posted June 18, 2009 (edited) I'd let her go. But I want to mention a few details to consider. You mention that moving this year would allow her to have residency. Is that for the purposes of qualifying for in-state tuition? Research that carefully before assuming she'll qualify. Schools have a vested interest in preventing prospective out-of-state students from jumping through a few hoops to qualify for in-state tuition. You'll want to check with the admissions office and find out exactly what qualifies a student for in-state tuition. For example, the university may require proof that she has paid rent and/or has lived in the state for multiple years. If you as her parents are still claiming her as a dependent at tax time, she may be considered a resident of your state, regardless of where she is living. And even if her uncle claimed her as a dependent on his taxes, a university might not accept that as adequate proof of residency. Do talk about tax issues ahead of time. If you can show that you are providing at least 50% of her financial support, you can still claim her as a dependent. Otherwise, you'll need to make sure you and your brother are on the same page regarding who can claim her at tax time. Good luck making a decision! Edited June 18, 2009 by jplain Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RegGuheert Posted June 18, 2009 Share Posted June 18, 2009 I, personally, trust my DC with my siblings and it sounds like you do, too. One thing I would caution you on is related to worldview. Whatever your worldview is, you may want to be sure that the worldview of your brother's family and of the prospective schools for your DC are compatible with yours. Finally, you might want to have some discussions with your brother and SIL about authority. In other words, WHO will be the ultimate authority on issues that pertain to your DC? Would it be you and your husband or your brother and his wife? That may sound silly, but you can be pretty sure that some issues may arise where that may become important. Best wishes for whatever you choose to do! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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