Did you all who had babies before 23 go to college and (more)

[runamuk]

I left for Marine Corps boot camp 12 days after high school graduation and married my husband 5 months after that (we'd know each other for 3 years). Our first child was a surprise, born a few weeks before I turned 21. I left the Corps after 6 years and started college, but we were transferred (he's a Marine, too) before I finished. Some of my credits transferred, but nearly half didn't. And when we moved again 2 years later, not all of my credits transferred. I was at the end of my VA education benefits and we couldn't afford to do it on our own nickel, so I dropped out a year before my degree was completed.

 

It's now ten years later and I wish I'd found a way to finish college. But we've had 2 more children and my husband is pushing to finish his degree before he retires in 2 years, so I'll have to wait a bit longer.

 

I want my children to be able to support themselves (college or not) before they have children. Our oldest is almost 20 and attending a community college, working full-time and living with her boyfriend. I would have preferred that she live at home while attending college, but this is what she chose. She was ready to get married and have babies after leaving high school, but 6 months of struggling to make ends meet while going to school had her rethinking her future.

[Philothea]

I'm excited to see my dc become parents, although the thought that I could be a grandmother by the age of 41 or so is a bit daunting.

 

 

My mother became a grandma at 38. :)

 

I'm still working on my degree. Its all about priorities, having a family is first. I'll likely have 4 or 5 children by the time I graduate.

[adams101]

Dh and I started dating when I was 15 1/2. I started college right after high school. I attended one year, working part time. The next year (age 19) I got a job with the school district. I worked full time, and when to school at night. That fall, we got engaged, then married in March. I was 19, almost 20. I continued my school, while still working, and graduated with an Associates Degree the next May (age 20). Just before I graduated, I found out I was pregnant. Had my ds at 21, and dd at 23. I know I was young, but I wouldn't change it for the world. We dated over 4 years before we married. We weren't financially stable, but it was the next obvious step. It was just time. We have now been married 13 years, and have ds-11 and dd-9. I want to be young enough to be able to enjoy my grandchildren!

[Lisa in the UP of MI]

I got married at 20, graduated from collage at 21, and had my oldest one month after graduation. I don't think it's my place to tell dc when they should get married or have kids. It's between them and God. And of course their future spouse.

Edited May 27, 2009 by Lisa in the UP of MI

[HSMom2One]

I had my older children during my 20's during my first marriage, and then went to college full-time in my 30's. I was a single mother for seven years. Ds' were in school, and I planned my classes around their schedules. It worked for us at that time...and I will never be sorry that I went to college when I was ready instead of when other people told me I should go. Also, the bill was mine and so my education meant more to me personally. My only regret is that as a single mother I was not able to either hs or send them to private school.

 

Fifteen years ago I married the love of my life and we have a 10 yo dd, so I am a second time around mom. I think I'm doing a better job now than when I was a younger mom.

 

Blessings,

Lucinda

Edited May 28, 2009 by HSMom2One

[FO4UR]

I am spinning off the age poll and noticing that there are a whole lot of young mothers. When I had my first at age 26, I was the the second youngest prospective mother in my Lamaze group by probably close to 7 years. The only one younger than me was an unwed teenager. But here, I am seeing so many young mothers. My question is given economic realities, your education philosophy or any other factors, are you goingto be recommending early marriage and childbearing to your children or will you recommend them waiting until ?.

 

In my case, I married after college but in my husband's senior year since I wanted one parent at least at my wedding and my mother was diagnosed with a terminal illness. Otherwise we would have waited until he graduated too. I am recommending that my children wait until after college to get married. However, I don't recommend that they wait until they feel they are financially secure since that could be for many, many years.

 

 

I think a person should get married whenever they meet the person they know they want to marry. Prolonged dating/courting/engagements are not always healthy.

 

I might be biased though...met dh in Sept, began dating in Jan, engaged in May and Married in Aug....whew!!! We were both still in college. I finished my BSE a year after getting married and dh finished a semester behind me. He also just finished his MDIV...all while married (and raising 3 dc). Our first dc was born about 9 months after I graduated.;):tongue_smilie:

 

Honestly, I would rather see my dc marry young. My mom was 19yo when she married, and she's an RN BSN with a few other acronyms that I'm not sure what they mean LOL! My grandmother was about 18yo when she married - and she had a long career too. I think there is a joy in growing up together, building a life together from the start. There is a different relationship between my grandparents (who have now been married...?....approaching 60yrs) and other folks who married late. I can't quite put a finger on it - it's that 2 becoming 1 thing...

 

I don't like the idea of a prolonged adolescence...to botch a quote I heard somewhere "There is nothing like a wife and children to grow a man out of a boy."

 

I'm not going to *push* my kids to marry young, but I won't discourage it either - so long as I apporove of the spouse....(mwahahaha!)

[coffeefreak]

I went to college, met my husband, graduated, got married and had children.

 

We're going to recommend our dd's wait to get married until they've finished school. College, trade school, whatever. But, if they choose to get married before then, we'll support their decision. For us, it's not whether you encourage marriage, school or whatever, it's what the Lord has planned for their life.

 

Blessings!

Dorinda

[JessMcG]

I had my 1st at 22, eight months after college graduation. I will definitely encourage my children to start young. I would love to be a grandma in my early 40s.

[Nestof3]

If anyone wonders about me being 37 and my eldest being 19, he's technically my stepson. He was 8 when I married his dad.

 

I did graduate from college at 22.

[sixpence1978]

I had my first at the age of 22 as well. My DH and I married right after we both graduated from college (we turned 22 right after graduating and right before marrying). My DS was a honeymoon baby, so he arrived just 9 months later.

 

As far as what I "expect" from my kids...well, nothing really. Like so many people have said, it really depends on the situation at the time. Call it a double standard, but I would really rather see my DS out of college with a job lined up before having children (marriage is a different matter). My DD...I don't know...it would really depend on which direction she wished to go as a mother.

[vettechmomof2]

graduated college in May at 20. Married at 20 in Sept. Pregnant at 20 in Nov.

[skaterbabs]

Yacko was born in July of the year DH & I turned 19, married and graduated highschool. Neither of us has yet had the opportunity to go to college, although I do plan to go eventually.

 

We do NOT intend to pay for our children to attend college (we'll pay for Mom to go first), although we will expect that they either do so or find a steady, full-time job. If they do attend college, they may live at home until graduation.

 

While there are definate benefits to starting young, I do not recommend it to anyone.