Help me think through gymnastics. (long, sorry)

[Jean in Newcastle]

Dd7 started taking gymnastics lessons 4 months ago. She has lived and breathed gymnastics at home for years. We finally dug deep in our pockets and got the money to send her to the gym so she wouldn't kill herself. She was in the beginner class for 2 1/2 months. Then she was promoted to intermediate. She's been in the intermediate level for 1 1/2 months. They want to promote her to the recreational team. (There are two competition tracks - the "serious" competition track and the recreational one.) Both are supposed to teach the gymnasts the same skills but the recreational one is not as intense. I would rather at this time do the recreational team if we decide that she should join a team.

 

The recreational team trains 4 hours / week. The cost per month ($140/mo) would be a little less than double what we are spending now. She wouldn't start competing at once but once she's learned the skills to put together some routines, then the coach would tell her when she is ready to compete. Once she is "competition ready" there are additional costs. A team uniform and music for the floor exercise routine is approximately $300. (a year? I don't know how often they need a new uniform and/or new music). There is also a $50 fee for each competition they compete in. (I do not know what day they compete. If it is on Saturdays it isn't a problem. Sundays (esp. a.m.) would be a huge problem. I will find this out.)

 

This child is hugely motivated. She works out almost every minute that we are not doing school or chores. She listens intently to her coach on what needs improvement and works specifically on those skills. She does additional stretches and conditioning exercises (that she has researched on her own) so that she can build herself up.

 

So these are my issues:

 

1. Money, money, money. We don't have a lot of it. Dh works hard and makes a fairly good wage but it still doesn't seem to stretch that far. As with many homeschool families, we do with a bit less, so that I can stay home and school the kids. My health is fragile and I could not add part-time work into the mix. Dh is currently a nurse manager and a pastor on the side (mostly volunteer). He would like to be a full-time pastor but money is a issue.

 

2. Dd7 has said that she would work at whatever people would let her do to earn the $300 for the uniform/music. And she would too. And it would be good for her. The thing is though that much of this would still come from us as we would end up searching for extra jobs for her to do to earn the money. She has made and sold cookies from the end of our driveway but the profit margin was not huge. She just earned $15 cat-sitting our neighbor's cat but that kind of work is not constant. And at even a rather mature 7, she still is very limited in the kind of job she can take on.

 

3. Ds11. Ds11 is a techno geek and is proud of it. He is currently earning money for a second computer since he feels like his first (which he bought out of his own earnings) is hopelessly outdated. Ds11 has to be forced to exercise (well, not forced, but he has to be told to do it or he will not think to do it on his own). Ds11 is not naturally athletic and has a bit of a paunch going. He was in swimming and did well. If we divert money to dd7's gymnastics, will we have enough to still invest in sports/athletics for ds11? (This is really iffy.) Would it be good enough to have him do free sports type activities like jogging and tennis with Dad? He has expressed an interest in more swimming or some kind of martial arts. He will work hard to earn money for a computer but I doubt he would want to fund his athletics - it's just not that important to him.

 

4. We want to support and nurture our children's passions while keeping a healthy balance in their lives. We especially do not want their spiritual lives to get short-changed by passions that might become over-riding. I'm not saying that joining a team would do this but it is an ongoing issue of priorities.

[Sugarfoot]

Hi, Jean,

 

That's a really tough situation. My DD stopped gymnastics this year. It was her decision, but I was glad. It was getting pretty intense, and I think it lost some of the "fun" that was there at the lower levels. I was also starting to worry about her body. On the nights that she had gymnastics, she would wake up complaining of aches and pains. She was never truly injured, (unless you count the tooth that was knocked out on the balance beam, but it was loose anyway:D,) but she definitely "felt" the effects of it all in her legs and feet.

 

Something to ask yourself is, "Where is this heading?" Will she be on the recreational team forever, or will they expect her to move up to the more serious team when her skills exceed the "recreational level?" One thing's for sure: gymnastics never gets cheaper! The cost will continue to rise as time goes on. However, she may have a couple of years to enjoy at this level with this cost.

 

My least favorite part of competing were the actual competitions. They were held in school gymnasiums without adequate seating for the hundreds of parents and family members who were watching. It was sooo uncomfortable. It was also hard on my other DC to spend their Saturdays in that way, even though she didn't compete really frequently. Also, my DD spent hours sitting with the other girls waiting for her turn, away from us, of course. I wasn't always comfortable with the conversations that were taking place during that time. That may seem like a small thing, but still...

 

Good luck with your decision. It's a hard one. In hindsight, I wish that we would have started out in a different gym that didn't focus on competing, where she could have just enjoyed the moment of gymnastics---had fun in class, spent some time on the equipment, etc., once a week.

 

HTH!

[westcoastmom]

Does your daughter like gymnastics specifically? Would she be happy with trampoline and tumbling? I think t&t is cheaper and not nearly as hard on the body. What about rhythmic gymnastics?

[wagnfun]

Does your daughter like gymnastics specifically? Would she be happy with trampoline and tumbling? I think t&t is cheaper and not nearly as hard on the body. What about rhythmic gymnastics?

 

 

Umm........ Well the original poster explained gymnastics to a tee. They start just for fun or exersize and move up through team & comps fairly quick. T & T isn't cheaper. My niece ranks between 1st & 4th place in her division as a national champ. She has a huge career ahead of her. At 11, she has already been offered a job at Disney, scholarships & great opportunities & however....

 

think long & hard about the money.

 

At the beginning levels, the meets are on Saturdays. However, like moving up in the ranks, she could move up the comp laddar to include comps that are two days long ( you mentioned Sun morning would be a HUGE problem) and not sure if this was thought out....) the comps are not always at the closest gym; they travel. My sister is CONSTANTLY traveling around the state for comps. You really can't take your gymnasts & travel 4 1/2 hrs then have her compete so they end up going the night before so her daughter can have a good nights sleep. Shes happy when they are only 2-3 hours away b/c she can drive & not fly. They have an account at a hotel chain to gain points for discounts & free rooms. Add that to uniforms & comp cost.

 

My sister tells me ALL THE TIME that the point you are at it is important to think it all through. She sees family after family where the girls get pulled after working their way up in comp. because of family money. Each time, the parents say they had no idea the cost let alone the time. We've seen other siblings take the back seat big time. There is always problems w/ the child at this point b/c they have vested so much time & energy into the sport- to then have the drive to continue but it is taken away.

 

Just my input from someone who sees this going on on a regular basis.

[MamaT]

My 9yo dd is a competitive gymnast. Once your daughter starts competing, the costs go WAY up. My daughter is at the gym training at least 16 hours a week. Sometimes meets are held on Sunday.

 

If your dd is serious about it, the competitive part of gymnastics can be almost addicting. They conquer one level and can't wait to get to the next. My dd also lives and breathes gymnastics. She is the NC State All-Around Champion for her level and we go to Nationals in June. I keep waiting for her to get burned out, but she has shown no signs of that.

 

Like I said, it is very expensive once they start competing and needing more gym/coaching time. We drive an older vehicle, put off repairs needed on our house, etc. in order for our children to pursue their passions (the other three that I am schooling are also very deep into their "things").

 

One question you may want to ask yourself: once she starts at this level, is it going to be harder for her to give it up once she is progressing through the levels and competing? If you don't want to go there, then I would nip it in the bud now.

[TXMomof4]

Let her! If she loves it and is willing to work hard - let her if there is any way it is financially possible. Explore the idea of scholarships. My parents busted their tails to put me in ballet when I was young. I danced seriously through highschool and loved it. I don't know exactly when, but I know after I joined the company and started performing I was on scholarship. The costs didn't go away though - pointe shoes were about $50/pair and in the end I was going through 2-3 pairs a week. My parents were saints - I can't remember a single time they didn't come through with them. By the end of it though I was teaching classes and being paid for performances. I treasure the years I spent dancing and do feel like it helped shape a lot of who I am.

 

If your son isn't asking for/worried about sports - don't make him! Let him do what he loves, get him outside for his exercise. If he really isn't concerned about formal classes for it the bike and basketball in the yard will work just fine.

[1bassoon]

Jean -

 

You've gotten some great, great advice already - to which I am listening intently. We've always been a ballet family, but dd8 is built like and would LOVE gymnastics.

 

At this point, we're steering her away from gymnastics, for many of the reasons others have given. Time, money, impact to our family, and spiritual impact on our precious dd. We've also made it very clear to our girls, that the minute ballet starts to become an idol in their lives, it's over. And, interestingly enough, we have a 12ds that sounds like the carbon copy of your ds - including the "has to be made to exercise" part.

 

I know, though - how do you encourage the gifts of one child, while keeping your family intact and your spiritual priorities straight? It's a line we struggle with constantly.

 

I know this is no help to you, but I just wanted to say that I feel your pain, and I'll be praying for you this week - especially when I drive by our local gymnastics school and dd8 starts talking about starting again! ;)

[Jean in Newcastle]

I appreciate all your input. I am starting a list of things to ask and find out.

 

1. How often do they need a new uniform and music? ($300 a year for that would be a stretch but if it is more often, impossible).

 

2. When are competitions?

 

3. Where are the competitions?

 

4. I know that the recreational team is not required to attend all the competitions unlike their more competitive counterparts but still it is a team. How much involvement will be expected by the team? Is it rude to ask how little involvement could we put in and still be on the team?

 

5. If she stayed in the intermediate level instead of going onto the team could she still be challenged?

 

Any other questions I should ask?

[Jennifer]

I would ask if any fundraisers are required. I think I would rather put up more cash than be expected to raise a certain amount of money by selling cookie dough or wrapping paper.

Jennifer

[Jean in Newcastle]

Good one, Jennifer!

[Impish]

Talk to someone at the club about the funding issues. I know for a lot of teams here, they ask parents to work a bingo...but you can also work more bingos, and there is $ taken off the fees for each bingo worked. Perhaps there is a way via the club to ease the financial burden.

 

Other than that, I'd absolutely have her keep going. She's loving it, according to your OP, and sounds like she's doing really well!

[Ginevra]

Well, only you can decide what is best for your family. But we had this choice in front of us when my daughter was five and I declined. I do believe in supporting my kids activities, but I'm not cut from the "whatever it takes" type of cloth. I did not want gymnastics to be her whole life and I had other children's interests to consider as well.

 

I do know that competition gymnastics is amazingly expensive and time-consuming.

[katilac]

First of all, take the stated expenses and double them :tongue_smilie:.

 

Anything related to 'teams' or 'competing' has many, many hidden expenses!

 

Then, keep in mind that you are considering (and choking on) the expenses of the rec team, but how long will she be content with that? What will you say when they ask her to move up to the next team? You have to think about these things now, not when dd is even more deeply involved. Pulling back just gets harder and harder; better to set the boundaries sooner rather than later.

 

Our choice was to not allow ongoing gymnastics, even though my youngest is half monkey and turns about a hundred cartwheels a day. We weren't willing to sink that kind of money into it, nor the kind of time that meets require.

 

Travel meets, whatever the sport, affect the entire family. Are you willing to spend numerous weekends trekking her to meets? It can be really hard to fit in family-wide activities if one child and at least one parent is frequently tied up on the weekends.

 

Some people turn it into a family thing - - everybody does go, it's how they spend their time and money, and they enjoy it. That's not our style; we're homebodies and would go nuts spending that much time on the road, at the gym, etc.

 

I have two quick comments on the money aspect. One, dd's willingness to work helps to show she truly wants to do it, but it has no real bearing on the expenses. She's years and years away from being able to make meaningful contributions. And two, I would not do this if it required using ds's 'share' of the recreational/lesson money. He doesn't want/need something of this sort now, but he's 11. That could change quickly, and then what do you do?

 

My personal choice would be to, at a minimum, put the idea on hold. She's only been at the gym for a few months; surely there is a great deal they can teach 'just' with lessons still? I would tell my dd very honestly that we consider her far too young for that type of time and money commitment.

 

Oh, one more thing! Did the coach ask HER or you about the rec team? If they asked her about it directly, I'd beat them in the head and then switch gyms.

[Jean in Newcastle]

 

Oh, one more thing! Did the coach ask HER or you about the rec team? If they asked her about it directly, I'd beat them in the head and then switch gyms.

 

The coach asked me - in dd's presence. The two people who talked to me - coach and office manager - were actually a bit surprised that I had questions and did not just jump up and down for joy!